The Darkside of Twilight
by Bella'sExecutioner
Summary: AU/CC Chap. 1: Edward killed Bella, awakening an epic battle of light/dark with slippery shades of gray & revealing the origin of the vampire race and its possible future. Winner of Two Sparkle Awards: Best AU/Best OC.
1. Chapter 1: The True Death of Bella Swan

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**A/N: Darkside is an AU vamp fic that doesn't play by the rules. If you continue to read from here on out you do so at the risk of your own sanity. Please feel free to review, message me, etc if you have any questions. **

**At this time, Darkside sits incomplete. It has been almost a year since I posted the last chapter and I'm sorry to say I haven't written a single word for the fic since then. I don't love it when stories that I invest my time reading are "abandoned" before they are finished but I can't and I refuse to force this story to an ending if my whole heart and mind are not in it. Darkside is a fic that wrote itself. I don't know how my brain kept up with the twisting plot other than I just jumped in and went with it. Well, I've been out of that whirlwind for so long that it's like soaking my brain in wet cement to try to return. I do have plans to finish this fic, and to write the sequel, eventually. My steam has run out at the moment, though. Maybe if a sudden swarm of readers picks it up and revives my motivation I might get to it sooner but for now it is officially labeled on hiatus. I appreciate every single one of you who read this fic while I was writing it and those of you who are reading this now because you have held on for so long for something new to post. I want to thank all of you for the support, good or bad, that you've shown over these past two years of my ficdom career. Darkside, as it stands now, is full of mistakes and errors but that's just how it is. Maybe one day I'll finally get around to polishing everything up but for now I'm okay with proving that I'm human. Nobody's perfect…except maybe Erebos. So I leave you with, I hope, some hope and much love. I do have several other fics that are completed and in the works. If you are interested in those, please see my profile. As always feel free to contact me if you want to talk about this fic or if you just want to talk. I'm always around…. Sinking into the shadows like the big E and pretending to change fate. **

**Xoxo Qute**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

When we make a choice we set things in motion that cannot be undone. We chose to enter a room and must accept the consequences of what awaits us on the other side of the door. If we stopped at the door and turned around would we have lived a different life? Would we still be the person we are today, just with different experiences that led us to become the same person? We don't get the opportunity to unravel our lives and re-spool the string. If we could undo one choice would any of the person we are and the story we live be the same in the end? Is there such a thing as an undying destiny no matter how much of our lives we change?

If Edward killed Bella the moment he met her… would he still be destined to love her and only her?

Would Bella's love for Edward be nothing more than obsession in a fleeting moment, or would she still be possessed by the unfailing truth that she belongs to him in whatever way he wants her…

If we chose to change our past does that really change our future?

**Answer:**

**Chapter 1—Bella never survived her first introduction to Edward Cullen in the first place or The True Death of Bella Swan.**

**\/Darkside\/**

**(the story begins as Bella enters the biology room on her first day of school at Forks High… until this moment the rules of the Twilight world have applied, but in this world Edward makes a different choice…)**

**EPOV**

How appropriately ironic was the fact that I met Bella Swan in Biology?

My base self was nothing more than primal instinct and a drive to satisfy the needs of my body. This girl was simply an organism constructed out of the one necessity of my survival. She stepped into the heated air blowing from the vent awakening this form out of a near hundred year slumber. My muscles constricted for the attack—my stomach seized. It was Biology 101—survival of the fittest. I was the lion and she was the lamb. And she could not deny me.

I clutched the lab table against the raging thirst that was driving all of the humanity from my mind. There was nothing of Edward Cullen left in this body as she stumbled past me—kicking up a swirl of fresh scent to tantalize my taste buds.

My lids closed in slow anticipation, and my eyes rolled back in pure lust. _This_ was something to live for. A wry smile turned up the corners of my mouth as I thought about Emmett's reaction to my hypocritical confession now. How often I had scolded him and Jasper for their careless escapades of thirst quenching. I was no better than any of them. In fact I was much, much worse—far less disciplined than Jasper on his worst days of war.

My lips pulled back from my teeth in a sharp hiss as venom filled my mouth. For over eighty years I had restrained the animal—satiated the thirst enough to stave off unnecessary bloodshed. My family was joined by our humane-vampire lifestyle. We did not drink human blood.

Vegetarian.

Vigilantly controlled.

We were the _safest_ vampires in the world for humans to be around.

But not _this_ human. This girl… this Bella Swan was marked for death-by-vampire from birth. Her blood was imprinted with a call to my senses that destined me to be her executioner.

Another version of my personality, the one that was known as Edward, would be devastated to realize how immediately this course of action overruled my conviction. I was not looking for a way to deny this path. I did not ever consider saving this child from this fate. I was only grasping for the patience to take her life in privacy.

As the girl found her footing, the most devastatingly alluring shade of pink stained her cheeks. The beast was ravenous. I was beyond the point of logic—beyond any aspiration of humanity. I could only hope that my sacrifice till now and my future penance would help ease the dark depression that would undoubtedly follow what I was about to do. She made her way to the front of the class. As she handed the teacher her schedule, the plan fell into place in my head. I would spare the rest of the innocents the murder. My soul was black and was about to fold into hews of darkness that had not yet been identified—was there such a thing as blacker than black? But even I could not live with the weight of so much innocent life on my hands.

Her blood, pure and chaste as it may be, was mine—destined to be drunk by my lips alone. _La Tua Cantante _as it was sung by the ancients of our kind. A melody existed in the flow of her blood that called to me, and me alone. Their lives, the other children and the young teacher who were able to move about this world ignored by the monster inside of me, were not a price I was willing to pay. Nor one that I had to. I could bide my time long enough to ensure that.

As she took the only empty seat left in the biology room- the perfect spot for the hunter to snap his trap upon the most unsuspecting prey- next to me, I made my move. I could not read her mind. That was a frustrating complication, but hardly one that would disable my motives. She was obviously affected by my presence. She stared at my family and particularly at me with unabashed attraction during lunch. She would be easily swayed to follow the bait of my face… my voice… even my scent in to the darkness.

I was set in the plan—smug in the fact that it would be easy and fast. Some distant compartment in my brain was conscious of the agony that taking such a naïve life would bring. The animal beat that part of my mind into submission.

"Hello…" I purred velvet smooth and dark as sin. She had offered the perfect opening for my invitation when she dropped her pencil on the floor next to my foot. Her big brown eyes flashed to my seductive face with intense fascination and subtle fear. Her plump bottom lip was caught between her teeth. And her body was ensnared by the bait— simple biology. Already her heart was beating faster. Her breath came in small, fast pants that excited the air, intoxicating my mind with her scent.

She sat like the mouse in the gaze of a snake.

_Perfect_.

"I am going to leave the room…" I whispered for only her ears to hear. Unconsciously her head bobbed lightly at my words like she was the unsuspecting audience member being hypnotized at my carnival sideshow. "Wait two minutes and excuse yourself as well." I narrowed my eyes to emphasize the importance of the process she was to follow. Her eyes widened in response, and her little head nodded again. Her brown eyes were receptive and sat unblinking as I finished the spell. "Find me in the woods just past the parking lot. And don't allow yourself to be noticed as you leave."

She nodded once in a sharp, hard agreement. She finally allowed her eyes to blink when I looked back at the table. She had just negotiated her own demise with no resistance what so ever. If I were not so far gone in the perversion of bloodlust controlling me I would have been dying to know her mind at that moment.

This Isabella Swan was an unfathomable oddity that would probably have kept me entertained for a few years trying to sort out the silence of her thoughts. But unfortunately that was not the fate that she was destined for. She had but one purpose. And in five short minutes she would fulfill it.

I stood and collected my things. I didn't spend too much time making my disappearance suitable for the human world around me. We would be packing up and leaving very shortly. By tomorrow these humans would be struggling to remember the exact shade of my hair. In a few months my height and face would become blurry in their memories and within a year the Cullens would be just a passing thought instead of a solid reality.

I heard Alice's thoughts as she saw my future. She was gathering the others—they would be heading home while I took the girl's life. She sent me an image of the old cottage in Alberta where we would reunite in a few days. I shook my head in agreement. As my decision to join them solidified my future path, I saw the image of my family together in the front room of the small lodge bleed into her vision. We were all there—no one lost to authorities or still running to cover tracks—so I knew that this would go over well for me—no complications.

Only my conscience would leave this day burdened.

I stalked out of the room without a backward glance. The teacher was busy grading papers and I was often allowed to leave early since my understanding of all sciences vastly surpassed that of the young old man behind the desk at the front of the room.

I tossed the keys of my Volvo in midair as I rounded the last corner of the parking lot. Jasper caught them in the same breath without acknowledging me in any other way. He and Alice walked with joined hands and met Rosalie and Emmett at the car. My family's thoughts ranged from disapproval by Alice, acceptance from Emmett and Jasper and smug superiority from Rosalie. I nodded as I pushed into the trees. I could hear the girl collecting her things on the distant lab table in building six. My family would understand why this had to be done.

I would spend the next five lifetimes trying to make up for it. Carlisle and Esme would be the hardest to face. I took solace only in the fact that the deed would be done long before the time that I would have to look them in the eyes. Alice sent me a silent message of Carlisle's loyalty in protecting me. The family would leave immediately—probably be out of town before this Bella creature reached me in the woods. But Carlisle would wait behind. He would find me when the haze of the blood cleared from my mind and the overwhelming desolation crushed me. Alice tried to block me from seeing why this would be, but she slipped as Jasper said my name in the car and I saw. I would not survive the guilt on my own. I saw Bella's spent body lying next to my broken form. Then Carlisle's strangled eyes as he found me and helped clean up my mess.

I nodded again as I crouched down by the heavy brush surrounding the edge of the school. I would pay to receive this offering. I narrowed my eyes as the shiny silver Volvo disappeared from the school grounds in a blur too fast for humans to process as the shape of a car. I could hear the soft footfalls of Bella's steps as she took the stairs at the edge of the school two at a time.

So eager to meet her fate was she.

I caught her luscious scent on the wind as she neared the woods. I removed my jacket and shirt and rolled my eyes back in my head. I unleashed the animal—prepared for the hunt. And as Bella Swan crossed the divide of civilized pavement into untamed forest, I stalked her. I made no motion to chase her as I would have other prey. She would come to me—better to savor the anticipation of her arrival than risk her alerting anyone to our presence. She cleared the small patch of open meadow and stumbled into the brush that concealed my position.

So weak. So vulnerable. _So perfect_.

She turned to face the exact spot where I hid as a low growl rolled deep in my chest. Her brown eyes were wide and open again. There was still fear dominantly dancing across her features, but there was another emotion—one that held me in the darkness of the bushes for a heartbeat longer than I had meant to stay. There was a…wonder… an almost fleeting ray of hope spreading across her face that was disarming. It would not save her life, and an electric shock hit my chest as I registered the look.

I lunged from the darkness to the vessel of my destiny. Bella landed under my attack with no hope of a struggle. The air escaped her lungs in a gush, and I heard her lower back snap as she hit the forest floor under my weight. Though she should have been terrified—she must have known her life was over in that instant—the look of wonder, and an almost _knowing_ was shining in her eyes.

Her lips parted like a lover's in anticipation of a first kiss. Who was I to deny this most alluring creature her last request? Whether she could ever understand it or not, I was powerless to the influence she had on me. Yes, the most primal of desires was spurring me—I was victim to the necessity to drink her blood, but I was her humble servant because of that gift. I existed for Bella. If she had not been mortal upon this first tragic meeting I know that I would have fallen at her feet to adore her for all eternity. Instead I washed her body in my gratitude. I was thankful that after eighty years of emptiness I would feel a sense of purpose, fleeting though it may be.

My hands seized her face in a lover's caress. I did not know what message my eyes were sending her, but the fear that she should have been drowning in never reached her eyes in return. She closed her lids in eagerness and puckered her full red lips as my cold breath inched closer to her face.

I brushed her lips with mine—soft as a whisper.

Once.

Twice.

On the third pass my lips lingered on hers for a moment longer. She whimpered in her throat like a virgin begging to be debauched. I peeled my lips back over my shining teeth without moving back from our intimate proximity. The fourth touch of her waiting flesh was my teeth biting into her succulent lower lip in a tiny nip.

A drop of blood pooled against the red pouty bud. My body shook with lust for her taste. My tongue darted out to take all of her gift into my system. She moaned, and I groaned as my flesh met hers again. Every inch of my body grew hard and taut at the taste.

She was sweet—she was pure. I would wander the earth for all eternity after this with no hope because my key to life was flowing into my mouth right now and would be spent very soon. Nothing could possibly taste as good as Bella. Every experience of blood from this moment on that touched my lips would pale in comparison. I wanted to savor her flavor forever.

I opened my eyes—my lids hooded with a fog of hunger that was beyond any sensation a human body could understand. Her eyes were growing unfocused. The warmth from the venom was not strong enough to cause pain yet, but was affecting her system already. I could feel an electric current flowing where my hands cupped her face, and my lips caressed her flesh. The air was buzzing with the odd energy that was passing between us.

It pained me that I would have to be quick. She deserved to die fast. The agony was meant for only one of us, and I could not force her to be the one in pain—not with the beautiful sacrifice that she was offering me. I brushed my lips gently across hers once more. She seemed to like it. Her eyes shot back to mine in her last breath of control and focus in this world. "Take it." She breathed.

My eyes grew wide at her words. But I did not get the chance to analyze the meaning as I was a slave to her will. I tore her clothing away from her small form—exposing her perfectly shaped pale breasts. My teeth ripped deep and hard into the flesh above her heart on her chest. Her translucent skin grew scarlet as blood began to flow freely from the bite wound.

I lowered my head reverently to her supple peak. My lips again met her flesh—this time caressing the pale pink tip of her left breast, covered in her delicious life force. As I closed my eyes to the agonizing sweetness of her blood I felt her tiny hand weave into the hair at the back of my neck. My tongue darted out to lap the fluid of pleasure from her skin and her fingers stroked my hair in a matching rhythm.

That electricity was humming all around me and inside of me as I took in long pulls of her blood, and she would arch her chest to aid in my endeavor. She never spoke and her breath was growing more shallow as I continued to revel in the pure euphoria of her essence.

I heard his thoughts long before I heard his steps. And I heard his approach long before I felt his presence beside me. Carlisle was standing behind me as I began to drink with a vigorous desperation.

Bella's hand had stilled on my neck and was now limp on my shoulder. Her soft moan of- pain or pleasure—was now a shallow whimper that never left her chest. And her heart was nearly stopped. The buzzing sensation no longer tingled from her skin, but rather throbbed in my once living veins.

I couldn't stop.

I suckled on Bella's blood covered crest like a starving newborn human. She was life. She was a gift. She was my destiny. The world was singing under my skin and inside my mind. The song of Bella's blood, a lullaby, was awakening every inch of my body. I was more alive than I had ever been in my entire existence.

Carlisle's thoughts were invading my orgasmic state. Disapproval. Disappointment. But also acceptance and compassion. I broke my connection to her skin and drew in deep gasps of air out of habit to calm my raging body. I had allowed the thirst to consume me long enough to consume her but now, as I let Carlisle invade my mind, I would have to fight the animal back into submission.

If I didn't stop now, I would be unleashed upon Forks. My bloodlust was a powerful force that I had had to fight once before… long ago… in another life. It was easier to control myself with Carlisle's thoughts so close. That's why he knew to find me here. That's why he didn't wait for me back at the house. He had learned from his mistakes all those years ago in Chicago. He willed me calm, and my sanity returned to me with a sharp intake of fresh forest air.

But with my sanity came my humanity and with my humanity came my conscience.

My eyes flashed down to the nearly dead girl-child beneath me, and my revolution caused my body to seize in mid air. Every muscle in my body locked at the sight of Bella's depleted state and bloody breast.

A tortured sob tore from my chest, and I threw myself over her little broken body. My hands cupped her tiny face in that same loving caress, but her sparkling brown eyes had a gray haze of near death covering the doorway to her soul. My face contorted at the thought of never seeing that look of wonder in those eyes again.

I pined for something I couldn't name—yearned to find what I didn't know I had lost. I searched the darkness around me and found the shining ray of hope that was Carlisle. The shame was beginning to crush me. Already my limbs were too heavy to support me as I leaped to my feet. My shoulders were turning in. I saw the river of Bella's blood running down my chest and was sickened by the realization that I was lusting to lick every last drop from my skin as I had from hers.

I threw a pleading look at Carlisle and launched myself into the woods as fast as my legs would move. That was faster than my father could hope to run. I pushed my body harder and faster and further away with each tick of the clock. Only a few more seconds and Bella's life would run out. Her light would be extinguished, and Carlisle would make it look as though she had been the victim of a tragic animal attack.

I lost my footing at the thought and slammed into the ground on all fours with a strangled snarl on my lips. I howled at the afternoon sky, and every muscle in my body clenched as if I could somehow purge her blood from my system.

She _was_ the victim of an animal attack. I was the animal. The most damned of all animals—beyond wild and beyond salvation. I gripped my hair with tight fists and swayed on my knees willing my body to release the blood.

If I had the ability to cry I would have wept for my failure. I had failed Carlisle by dismissing his teachings without a second thought. I had failed my family by recklessly committing such a heinous crime. I had failed myself for not being strong enough to just walk away. But most importantly of all… and for reasons I couldn't begin to fathom… I would have wept for failing that poor defenseless girl who offered me all that she was with only the gift of death in return.

I strained to hear the final beat of Bella's heart. I had fled miles away from the woods surrounding the school, but I could still make out the faint shallow beat of her life. The pulse, a sound that had become the most significant sound in my entire world, was slowing. I heard Carlisle's movements surrounding the body. Then with a woosh of air that I was not expecting my ears were met with silence.

I heard the light fall of rain on the tips of the trees high above. I heard the soft rustle of the animals of the forest changing their paths as they caught my scent on the breeze. But I no longer heard the distinct thump of life in Bella's chest. I closed my eyes to the anguish that lay before me.

The sweetness of her blood still throbbed in my body—a disgusting drug that I was both repulsed by and drunk on. I collapsed to the ground in the silent darkness of my mind. I would have to face the unending path of eternity with the unconditional and irrevocable truth that…

I, Edward Cullen, had killed Bella Swan.


	2. Chapter 2: Carlisle gets schooled

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/ Darkside\/**

**Question:**

Behold the tricky hand of fate and the instinct that consumes. The reader may regurgitate and the skeptic may presume. With rhyme I do incapacitate and use a Nome de plume. Alas your hope is not misplaced that story WILL resume.

Do you think you know what you know? Do you believe you know the facts? When you look behind when at the end, can you beautify the past? If your story was not yours to tell but rather in a lover's eyes, could your evil be forgiven and your redemption realized?

**Answer:**

**Chapter 2: Carlisle's mistake or Carlisle gets schooled.**

**\/ Darkside\/**

**CPOV (forest, Forks, present day)**

I stared down at my son.

I wanted with every fiber of my being to not judge him. I had only fallen to the desire to drink human blood twice in my three hundred years, but I had never been given the opportunity that he faced. We were changed. Not human. We were just as victim to our instincts as were all animals- if left in a room to starve for a thousand years would not a mortal man take a life as well.

But Edward would not believe so once he came out of this trance.

I watched him draw the blood from the child's bosom like she was producing nourishment just for him. It turned my stomach. Not because I didn't understand it. Not because I had spent the last three centuries preserving rather than taking life. But because I knew Edward.

I knew what hell was already building in the back of his mind. I knew what torture he would put himself through when this girl was no longer his singer but turned back into the dead human innocent in his arms. And I knew that the closer I drew to him the sooner that shock would hit his system.

I had to move quickly. It went against all that I had promised myself long ago that I would never do again. It probably would not be well received by anyone- except Alice, who had offered the idea to me in the first place. But I knew if I was fast enough it would work.

And I knew that his soul would be tortured and my actions may lead to Edward having even more to fight to forgive me for- but I had to try.

Edward's body bucked against the slowly dying child's chest. Her hand was limply resting on his shoulder and her eyes were glassy. I noted the exact moment that Edward came back to himself- he shuddered slightly. His body was still on autopilot. And his mouth began drawing in deeper, more vigorous pulls from her peak.

Then his entire form seized up.

His eyes were wide with shock and terror.

"_Bella_." He whispered. I do not think he even realized he said it. The pain of hearing the same plea torn from his lips as I had heard so many years ago would have made my heart jerk had it been beating.

He threw a frantic glance my way and launched himself into the woods. I hung my head as I approached the child. I had failed Edward in every way I could. I had failed my family for forcing this sentence of constant vigilance upon them. And I had failed this child long before she was born- failed to save more than just her life.

I knelt beside her with a hope that I had done the right thing.

**\/ Darkside\/**

**Chicago 1928.**

"You're wrong Carlisle!" Edward roared. A grouping of crows took flight as his words tore through the silence in the early morning woods.

Edward paced in front of me like a menacing lion. My thoughts remained calm. I held to my conviction. Animal blood was enough.

Edward snarled. His lean body stalked back and forth as if he hoped to find some physical weakness that would aid him in undermining my argument. With each pass the pace of his stride lessened. I could see the tension ease in his form. And finally he stopped.

His face still held the mask of denial but I knew soon he would not be able to hold to the fight. He knew my mind. He knew the truth.

"LIES!" he yelled. I wondered if other parents faced the same level of frustration when dealing with unruly adolescents.

"Only when the child is a mind reader," Edward sneered. _Too true_. Edward's ability did make our arguments far more heated than was necessary. Try as I might to shield my son from any doubts or harmful fleeting thoughts I might have, Edward could not exist in ignorant bliss.

"You prefer me ignorant and docile, rather than challenge your precious principles?" His face was stone—but his eyes were wildly defiant.

"Allow me to speak," I offered, ignoring the way he glared at me. "You once told me you felt less… _uncomfortable_ with your gift when I spoke out loud." Edward closed his eyes. I could see him losing the fight to hold on to the rage.

The tension left his shoulders and he sunk to a crouch without opening his eyes. "Speak."

I sighed. Edward was so young—even younger than his human self had been in some ways. And our kind being so ruled by the intensity of our nature was met with more challenges than most humans… "If you want to talk… then talk," Edward's voice was like ice.

"You know that killing is wrong." I said simply.

His laugh was dark—as were his eyes. He had refused to drink the blood of animals for weeks now. It was foolish to lead him self into the temptation.

"Wrong for whom?" He asked raising his eye brows, daring me into another quarrel. Edward was prone to fight. He had a lot of anger. He had the thoughts of so many angry people in his own mind—poisoning his thoughts. He was frustrated by the limitations I placed on him from the moment he opened his eyes.

"Spare me the lecture Carlisle," He was still as the trees around us. I joined him in a crouch, not liking the assertive position of standing over him. "We are not human. A sparrow thinks nothing of eating the worm. A wolf is programmed to hunt the rabbit." Edward looked down at his white, frozen hands. "It is more than a hunger—it is a destiny." When I looked in to his onyx eyes at this simple omission I was not swayed from my path but I understood Edward's a little better.

His mother had been possessed by her faith in fate. She had groomed a son who she believed deserved his shot at the great destiny. Elizabeth Masen lay dying in the ward ten years ago with one thought constantly escaping her lips—_don't let Edward fail_. She had whispered the phrase incessantly for the week that I knew her. Her beautiful green eyes were crazed with the need to ensure her son's path. And when she begged me to do all in my power to save him I knew it was because she believed he was meant for greatness.

That is why it had been so easy to do it—rob this boy of his right to die. Why I had been moved to try after all these years to enforce this cruel fate on another—because I believed Edward could make it a fate worth having.

Edward laughed. It was a hollow and empty sound. "What is it that bothers you Edward?" I knew the answer but I found Edward could be reasoned with by way of logic and discussion. I had fought off the beast inside of him for nearly a decade by simply letting him speak his mind.

"We are evolved. We are not them. We do not…" His face looked tortured as his confidence wavered. "Why do we have a conscience?" He breathed a little more than a whisper. He didn't look at me as he said it. He threw the thought out into the open air—an errant thought to mimic those that flooded his mind every second that he lived.

"Because we have intelligence," I offered.

That was not a viable excuse for him. "My intellect tells me to not concern myself with the worries of my prey. I am smarter—as they were the stronger when they inherited the earth from the last chain in the link." The theory that we were simply the next step in evolution held too many holes for me to ever appreciate it the way Edward did. It was a rationality used by a child to make an easy justification of why doing something wrong was right.

"_Easy_," he breathed. His tongue made the words lash out to sting my flesh. "Do not patronize me Carlisle. I hear the thoughts of the scum that infest the streets that I called home. I remember what honor and principle meant to my human self. It is impossible to marry the two sides. I simply ask—why fight so hard against what we are?"

I held my tongue. This was where I truly did not have to speak my case. Edward had probed my mind for ten years to hear my side of the argument. He knew every facet of my belief with more clarity and detail than I knew it my self. What Edward really wanted to know was something I refused to allow my self to think about when he was close enough to hear my thoughts.

"Would you?" He begged. What he asked I felt I didn't need to answer. It was there in every word that I spoke. It was there in the ferocity of my loyalty. It was there in the plain fact that I had chosen him out of countless others in my three hundred years of new life.

He nodded his head. Again I had denied my son access to the one thought he actually wanted to hear. But I was resolute in my belief that Edward had to choose his own path. I could steer him in the direction I thought right—but unlike my father and even Elizabeth Masen, I would not force that path on Edward.

"Lies." He said quietly. I nodded in agreement. Every thought in my body said what he wanted to do was wrong. I couldn't deny that.

"I could only feed on the wicked," his eyes were odd, distant as he spoke. "I would know which were evil and I could help the innocent." Ah, but Edward was such a slave to the morals that he wanted so desperately to ignore.

Innocence. Purity. These were Edward's coveted desires. He was both innocent and untouched in his death. He felt a kinship to those who had not lost the kiss of virtue in this world. He sought to protect these angels as he saw them.

"And what will you do, Edward," his eyes were burdened when they met mine. "When you are so far gone in the lust that there are no longer distinctions between good and evil? When you are thirsty and no devils are close enough to drink?"

He closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped further and I knew that the discussion was close to ending. Edward would concede once more and for another day I would trust that my son would not stray.

He shook his head in agreement. "I am sorry." He said flatly. I said nothing. He could hear my faith in him ringing in my every thought. I had selected Edward as an eternal companion—a son. I would never turn my back on that.

I scowled as the thought passed through my head and into Edward's. His face remained expressionless but I knew he had not missed it. He had the answer that I had guarded for so long. It was difficult to conceal my frustration with my self for the slip lest I give more away. We turned as we caught the scent of the pack on the breeze.

Four large wolves were hunting deep in the forest. Edward grimaced at the smell. Yes, wolves were less appetizing than most, but it was sustenance none-the-less. I took the lead as we released for the hunt. I could hear Edward following behind me. I knew not what he was thinking but I hoped that it was not what I was afraid to consider.

**\/ Darkside\/**

**EPOV (moments later)**

He admitted it. It had taken ten very long years of infuriating fights but I finally had done it. I got him to admit that no matter how dark my actions grew he would always accept me.

It was childish. I was not disputing that. But then, as Carlisle was so apt to point out, I was still a child.

I wanted to try it. Just once. They smelled so much better than the fowl creatures that we settled for eating. It couldn't be so terrible to just try it.

I wasn't sold on the religion of man embracing the most damned of all creatures. So, Carlisle wasn't going to convince me that to take a life—even an evil life—would weigh on my soul. I lost that when the venom burned it out of me. All that was left of the mortal soul was the impression of what the intellect believed was right and wrong.

And my mind was screaming to try it. Just once. I would preserve his precious ideology. I would never harm an innocent. He was right—there was a bond with the purest of the humans and my self. But I could stalk the stalker. I could kill the killers. And by doing so I would get to satiate my own desires.

Just once. Just to try it.

Carlisle launched into the hunt and I made to follow him. But as I stood my body turned away. Night was falling and there was certainly something evil lurking in the darkness that I could feed on.

I cast a final look in the direction of my father. He was set in his course. I didn't know if I would ever return to him. But I did know that if I returned—he would not judge me and he would welcome whatever I would become back with open arms.

I turned away from my father and headed in the fading light. I embraced the hunger that made my eyes as black as the sky. A scent—an evil that needed to be stopped. I heard the howl of the wolves falling victim to the vampire attack—the sound was already to far in the distance for any human to hear. I stepped out from the shadows of the warehouse to confront the woman's attacker. The look of terror in his eyes made me feel alive and powerful. He cowered beneath me as I ripped his throat out.

I drank deep of the sweetest liquid my vampire lips had ever tasted. Somewhere my father was realizing that I was gone. Somewhere my mother's soul was turning in horror. But here in my mind I was drunk on my most sincere destiny.

**\/ Darkside\/**

**CPOV (one month later, Chicago)**

It had been a month. I stayed close to Chicago. I gave Edward his space. I watched the reports in the news—followed his conquests. Thus far it was truly the most despicable of humanity that he had hunted. And he seemed to control his hunger enough to not raise questions. But it was baffling to me to understand.

How could he take so much human life? I knew why, for the moment, he felt justified. He felt he had my blessing. And he did. I would not turn my back on Edward no matter what he did. But I was afraid of what I might have to do to rein him in eventually.

He would not be able to stop at just the wicked once the monster was unleashed. Right now he was still a child testing his boundaries and having fun with his new game. Soon, he would not be able to care if the thoughts of the one he hunted were pure or not. He would find an excuse, any offense, in the person's mind to justify the kill. And eventually he would simply kill—ignoring his ability to hear their thoughts all together.

I sighed in the darkness of my empty apartment. It was that time of day when I was chained to my room to keep up the charade. I had to pretend to rest so as not to arouse suspicions. It was a frustration to be so trapped by our differences. There was so much more I could do to help people if I didn't have to play pretend.

I sat on the bed with the lights turned off. It made no difference to a vampire to use electricity. I had been wrestling with the oddest sensation all morning. I believed it to be loneliness—with Edward gone I had fallen into a depression of no longer having a confidant. But the more I sat here, the stronger the feeling grew.

I felt a tugging in my chest—one drawing me to the cliffs at the edge of the harbor. It was completely insane. I was not a lover of the sea. And it was midday, with no clouds for weeks. It was suicide of my human façade to venture out. But I found myself walking towards the door without command for my body to take me there. I had to go down to the cliffs.

I was reminded of Elizabeth Masen and her obsession with protecting her son. Could a vampire go insane? I laughed to my self in the empty darkness. Probably.

Suddenly there was a loud banging at my back door. My heart seized as the young orderly from the hospital threw open the door without my consent. He stood in the black darkness of my room for a moment—straining his eyes to find me. I finally took pity on the boy and cleared my throat.

"Dr. Cullen?" the boy asked. I noted that the scene outside was shrouded by a thick haze of foggy clouds. A mercy that.

"Yes Brian," I said walking toward the boy. "What is it?" He was caught off guard by my sudden appearance next to him. I grabbed my bag without further prompting and pulled him from the room.

"There's been an accident. A young woman jumped from the cliff this morning." If I had had a heart it would have stopped. How strange that I had been drawn to the cliffs when such a tragedy was taking place there.

"Did she survive?" I asked as I rushed him faster towards the hospital entrance. I was often in agreement with Edward at the slow pace of humans.

"I don't know. They sent me to get you when the harbor master sent word that they saw her jump. She should be coming in right now."

I headed straight for the emergency room when we got there. But there was no young woman in attendance. The nurse on call told me that she was taken directly to the morgue. Any other day and for any other patient I would have accepted it at that and went on to start my rounds. But I had to find that woman.

The tugging that pulled me toward the cliffs was spurring me into the basement mortuary.

When I got there I was alone. Humans were disturbed by the dead. As one of the living dead I didn't suffer the same affliction. There were only three bodies in the small dark room. One a baby boy that I had seen brought in two days ago. He had died from sickness and a weak heart. I had not nursed the child but something about seeing his still form broke my heart. It was as if I was looking at a reminder of my lost potential to have a child. I imagined that I would have loved to have a baby boy as beautiful as that child to call my own.

I was distracted from my musing by the faintest sound. I hadn't noticed it when I came in, but one of the bodies had a heart that was still beating.

I searched the darkness and found the young woman lying on a table in the far corner. The tugging pulled me to her. She was more than beautiful—she was an angel. I could make out the shallow beat of her nearly still heart. It was like the ticking of a clock over my head.

I knew in that moment that I should consider the possibility that I was acting out of pain in Edward's disappearance. I knew that the sight of the dead child that I could never have was still too fresh in my mind. But the picturesque angel opened her eyes as I stood there debating with myself.

Her eyes were so gentle—a mother, a lover, a true friend. I didn't think anymore after that. I leaned down and bit her chest over her heart. I needed to start the venom flow before her heart gave out.

She never made a sound—though the burn had to be torture. She just stared up at me with a devout reverence. I hoped that I could live up to the expectation shining in her eyes.

Once the venom had saturated her system enough to keep her heart strong I stole her from the hospital and snuck her deep into the woods. She was moaning and writhing in the fire by then. I held my hand over her mouth to silence the pain, and she did not struggle against my touch.

When the transformation was over she lay still and peaceful. I was troubled with the knowledge that I might have sentenced another pure soul to hell when she opened her eyes.

She moved like a goddess fluid and serene. Most newborns were crazed by the thirst from the moment that they awoke but she was focused on something more powerful. She sniffed the air—catching my scent. She followed the smell until she was standing in front of me. I couldn't move. I could barely think with her blood red eyes boring in to mine. I hoped that I would not be attacked as I had been for so long by Edward.

She smiled gently, as if she sensed the worry in my mind and wanted to calm my nerves. She reached her delicate hand up to cup my face—it was the tenderest caress I had ever experienced. And with that first touch I was changed.

I don't know what I believed my destiny to be before I met Esme. I only know that she was my future and that was all that mattered. She fell easily in to this life—never angry with not taking human life as she was the kindest soul I had ever met.

She was eager to meet Edward—not deterred by his current hobby to accept him as a son. She confessed to me that it had been her child I saw in the morgue that day- That the loss of her defenseless boy had driven her to take her own life. We were a matched pair and my life morphed into a partnership that I never dreamed I could find.

I was happy—though the happiness was tainted with the hope that one day Edward would return. I knew what hope was out there for our kind. I believed that somewhere Edward had that other half of him self waiting to be found. I just hoped that he would not destroy himself before he found her.

**\/ Darkside\/**

It was early in the morning—a year after I had found my Esme. We were living in the wilderness of Canada.

A sharp banging at the door drew our attention from our morning poetry reading. My mind was thick with the worry of what I knew was waiting for me.

I could smell him. Edward was home.

I threw open the door. And it was Edward but it wasn't. The eyes were scarlet and wild. The face was taut and ghostly. And he was shaking violently.

"Edward, what is it?" I begged—anxious to help him and elated to have him back.

His crazed eyes locked on mine as if I was his only link to sanity. "_Bella_," he whispered.

**\/ Darkside\/**

**CPOV (Forks, Present Day)**

I picked up the dying child, Bella, and ran with her to my family's home. Edward would not approve. He believed we lived a fate worse than death.

But I could not save the innocent who haunted him for almost a hundred years—I could save this one. She was strong. She had a touch of destiny in her self. And she was the only thing Edward ever wanted with a reckless passion.

I wasn't sure when Alice told me about her vision. I didn't like the idea of doing this again. But I saw the look in Edward's eyes—no I saw the look in Bella's. It was the same look in my Esme's when I found her.

Edward had found his path—and as I promised all those years ago to Elizabeth Masen I would do everything in my power to make sure he followed it.

Three days of silent torture and I wondered where Edward was hiding. He would come back to the house when he was ready. Alice had seen that. Presently I was more worried about Bella. She had made no sound throughout her entire transformation.

I heard her heart stop. I knew the process was complete. But I was worried that I had done something wrong.

Bella lay perfectly still. A sleeping beauty locked in a wicked spell. I was just about to touch her and see if I could wake her when I heard him come through the back door.

He was roaring when he caught her scent—infuriated when he saw her sleeping form on the dining room table. "HOW COULD YOU!" He bellowed.

I ignored him as I was suddenly caught in a moment of déjà vu. Silently the child had flitted behind him awakened by the sound of his voice. Edward turned to find her standing in front of him—a look of serenity and adoration in her scarlet eyes.

He couldn't speak. I felt as though I was watching a memory of my life as a spectator years after the fact. Bella raised her hand to cup Edward's cheek. His enraged body calmed completely at her touch.

"Thank you," she said softly gazing in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3: Masen vs Cullen

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

Have you ever sat in front of a mirror for longer than five minutes and just looked at your self. Without any purpose behind it- just look at _you_. See the imperfections. Realize the beauty. Look yourself in the eye.

What if you sat for a century and never saw any part of _you_ staring back. What if one day you were you and the next you were something else that you couldn't understand.

Could you ever grow to see yourself in that image staring back at you or would you lose whatever you called _me_ before you changed. How do you continue to live once you have died?

**Answer:**

Chapter 3: When Edward met Edward or Masen vs. Cullen.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Forest- just shortly after Carlisle takes Bella to the house.) **

I was trapped. The two halves of my brain were splitting apart and I was desperately flipping from one consciousness to the other. An immortal schizophrenia.

The present me was stoned out of his mind on the rush from her blood. My skin felt like pure electricity. I was alive. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. My body was singing. My eyes rolled back into my head. I licked my lips while my body rocked with aggressive spasms.

My head thrashed to the left and I was eighty years younger. I could hear her screaming. She was not supposed to be here.

My head thrashed to the right and I could see the gentle peace in my Bella's eyes only minutes earlier.

Left- the anguish as the innocent girl drowns in her own blood, flowing out of the wound I was too disgusted to drink from.

Right- the pleasurable agony that was her taste that throbbed in my veins.

Left.

Right.

Pain.

Pleasure.

Torture.

Lust.

My body was enraptured in both realities. The monster in the past was not as satisfied as the demon I was now. But both were feeding on the purest of blood. That name- _Bella_- I had heard it only once before.

The monster on the left snarled while the beast on the right released the strangled howl. The body that trapped both minds was thrusting in the air as the psyche fought to stay in control.

She was so young. So innocent. She wasn't supposed to be here. I saw the killer. Knew he lived in this abandoned place. I was ravenous as I hunted him. Terrified when I caught the scent of her sweet blood.

He had never thought of his daughter. He never warned me that if I called when he was not home- she would be waiting. Once the hunt began the monster could not be tamed. She would die.

A roar of agony tore from my chest.

She was too precious. She followed me into the woods. She had offered her gift to me. Why did it torment me to know she was gone? She was mine. I would miss here. She was mine. _My_ Bella.

Left.

Right.

Suffering.

Release.

From the corner of my left eye I could see my mother. Her image was faded like the forgotten photographs I kept in a box under my bed. Her eyes were not the flames of judgment that I had expected after all these years. The depths of her eyes were burning but with some desperate need that I was too afraid to understand.

From the corner of my right eye I saw an angel. The body still thrashed and raged in the fiery grip of her blood- but everything was peaceful as I turned my head to see her.

Bella stood draped in gossamer so white it stung the eyes to look directly at her. She was glowing from within- more exquisite than any other image known to this world. A soft smile relaxed her face. She held her hand out to me.

I felt my brow smooth in the release of torment and my lips ease into a smile to match hers. My right hand reached out to take her offer.

My left side tore my gaze back to the ghost of my mother. She was whispering. A sense of fear was rising in me as I became locked in her gaze. I wanted to turn back to Bella before she disappeared and I lost her forever. I wanted to close my eyes and suppress the human memories. I wanted to find the will to leave this wretched place.

My mother moved closer. I felt my beating heart race was the panic of the unknown fear. Her lips never ceased and when she knelt beside me I could finally make out what she was saying.

_Seize your destiny_, she chanted. She leaned in to place her lips against my forehead. It was like a psychic link to another place and time. I felt like a child being tucked in to bed. It was almost as peaceful a feeling as it had been to look at my angel.

But as I turned my head to the left to look into my mother's quiet eyes, it was not my mother who was looking back.

She sat gasping for air. Her throat ripped out and her scarlet blood drenching her white cotton dress. My body began to convulse. I wanted to turn away. I wanted to see _my_ Bella- not this dead girl with the same tragic name.

I didn't know how she tasted. My mind had had enough sanity to pull away just as I tore her flesh apart. I had fled to Carlisle with the hope that even after a year he had remained unconditionally loyal. The shaking was as violent as it had been that night. The horror of the drowning girl called to some lost weakness in my mind that was my last vestige of humanity.

Her lips moved as my mother's had. I was terrified. My heart raced as if it could claw its way out of my chest. The pleasure and the pain that had rocked my body were constricting all of my muscles.

I couldn't move. I couldn't scream.

I felt a hand from my right side reach across my left and pull my face center with the lightest touch. My body was still strained in a grip of anxiety but I could do nothing but follow the pull of the stranger hand.

When my head fell into place the two sides of my mind reunited and I found myself lost in the warm chocolate eternity of _my_ Bella's eyes. I was home. She smoothed her hand along my neck and brought it to rest over my heart. My body calmed at her touch.

She was no longer draped in saintly rays of light but the same wave of peace settled over me. I could feel her warmth flowing from her tiny hand on my chest. I felt as though my heart was signing to her. I wanted to really look at her- appreciate her undeniable beauty. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from her gaze.

I could see in to her soul- it was an old soul. It was a perfect match to my own. Somehow I just knew that I was looking at the other half of my self. And surprisingly enough- the vision of my self in Bella's eyes was not the twisted and repulsive visage that I expected to see.

I saw happiness. I saw a future. I saw _hope_.

She sat straddled atop me. She did not speak. She just watched me come back to myself. All the while a wicked grin played around the edges of her lips. Through many layers of psychosis I was becoming more aware of my previous state of euphoria. I could feel my buzzing skin- especially where Bella's skin was touching me. I could feel her slight weight pressing down on me- our centers meeting like the joining of two forces of nature.

Hard and soft. Innocent and corrupt. Beautiful and bestial.

The nymph on top of me gently rocked her hips in a rhythm that felt like the pulse in my chest. It was the most impossible sensation. The craving growing inside of me now had nothing to do with thirst- it was a hunger, but not one I was familiar with. For the second time that day, I was ravenous for Isabella Swan.

My hands seized her tiny hips. I needed her secured to me. I needed her to never stop what she was doing to me. I was excited. I was alive. My body was throbbing.

I felt my self grow hard.

My head snapped down to look at that part of me. I had been on this earth for a century and I had never experienced this particular bodily reaction. Bella adjusted herself to rise up and give me a clear view of the tight bulge in the groin of my pants. She wore a more pronounced smirk now- she was enjoying herself quite a lot.

I looked in to her reflective eyes to see the look of confusion on my face and reluctantly found the humor. She was only seventeen and yet she could handle the growing need inside of her body with a superior maturity next to me.

But then, Bella was still human. I could feel her soft warm flesh- smell her delectable scent. She still had a body that required sex. It was—until this very moment—an act that I found repulsive at best. Emmett and Rosalie made sexual encounters an Olympic event. Alice and Jasper made each other climax with out even needing physical touch. And Esme and Carlisle—let's say at times they made Emmett and Rosalie look like amateurs fumbling in the dark. But I had never had a need for the act.

Bella bucked deeper on top of me. My head was dizzy with some primal urge that was stronger than any thirst I had suffered. I knew enough about it to know that our union was chaste but it still was profound—at least to me. I was riding the sensations like the virgin that I was. I only hoped that Bella could take the lead—to help show me the way.

I felt her hands cup my face. And I was washed in her warm breath and chocolate reassurance. I felt her lips, soft as a moth's wings, against mine. Then I felt her teeth bite down on my bottom lip—just as I had done to her.

I was undone.

I may not have any experience with sexual relations but I did know that stamina was valued over speed. It didn't bode well for me that I was the fastest Cullen—at everything apparently.

For the moment I ignored the failure of my first time. I was lost to the sensation of release. My eyes fell closed that made it twice today, that Bella had sent me soaring. My crooked smile spread across my face as I lazily opened my eyes.

I was all alone in the dark forest. There was no sound. There was no mother. And there was absolutely no Bella.

**\/Darkside\/**

I was lying on my back in the middle of my meadow when it started to snow. It had been almost three days since I fled from Carlisle.

I spent the last day tortured by the fact that it was my mess to clean up and yet I had left Carlisle with the chore. Would he think it just another rebellious rejection? It wasn't- it was cowardice. I was too weak to face what I had done. To accept what I had lost.

I had only spent the last twenty four hours instead of the entire time conflicted because that is when the inebriation finally wore off. I came to the conclusion that I was lost in a hallucinatory haze for most of the other two days. I remember that I had been lucid enough to want to stop drinking her blood and to runaway. But once I got to the meadow I hit the dirt like a stoned junkie.

Her blood was beyond description.

My body still occasionally trembled at the memory of her taste even now. It was like being alive- _really alive_. I felt my frozen stone body and ached for the feel of the beating heart. But even now, as I missed that pulse I felt… odd.

Her blood affected more than just my body. I had demons that I had faced today that should have made me angry or depressed. But I wasn't mad and I wasn't in pain for the first time in over eighty years. Something in her blood absolved me of the desolation while it filled my muscles with a strength that made me feel more than invincible.

And her scent was still a thick fog in my senses. The mix of freesia and lavender made my body grow hard again.

It was the oddest sensation. I couldn't remember feeling lust as a human. I surely never experienced the compulsion as a vampire. But just the memory of Bella's scent mixed with the image of her soft lips pressed against mine made me...

I didn't relish having Emmett ever finding out about this episode. I didn't have to worry about starting a new secret habit. I was quite positive that that would be my one and only need for sex. I wasn't riddled with hormones and a driven for reproduction—and, at any rate, I was sure that there was only one body that could excite mine in that way.

What did it all mean? I had walked among some of the most devastatingly attractive women in the world. Why now, when I knew I could never look in to her eyes again, did I want nothing more than to do just that? Look into those deep chocolate brown eyes that were so captivating it scared me.

Thinking of Bella and her beautiful body made me groan and writhe in the dark meadow. The blood was pulsing in my dead limbs and I felt that forgotten part of me stir.

I had lived a life of suppression. I denied any sort of gratification. I had no idea I could even want this kind of thing to happen. Yet another time today I was taught to never say never. I was trapped in a moment of disgust and fascination as my body climaxed at the memory of her taste mixed with her scent and her soft delicate skin in my mouth. And as I drifted down from ecstasy I also drifted down from my Bella blood high. Then I sunk to the lowest level of despair as I mourned the passing of the most precious life.

I didn't even know her. I never had the chance to speak to her. I was sad at the thought that Bella was gone. The self-disgust would come later- for now I wanted to just weep for Bella.

_My_ Bella.

_La Tua Cantante_ or not she was made just for me and like everything else in my life that I loved, I had destroyed her.

I hoped that Carlisle would not find me now. How could I force this evil in front of his eyes once more and dare him to turn me away. I would never be satisfied, it seemed, until Carlisle finally called me the monster I was. Maybe then I could find some control.

I knew it would take a long time but it would only be a matter of it before I destroyed him too. I saw the wearing around the edges of his resolve to stand by me become more prominent each year.

Why did he have to change me?

I was not worthy of the golden path that he and my mother steered me towards. I felt the icy chill from darkness where my mother had haunted me in the daylight. Would I ever escape the guilt I felt with every monumental mistake I made?

I closed my eyes and saw Bella's face—inches from my own and kissed with a rush of excitement. She neither expected me to be anything but what I am, nor had she asked for anything from me but that I took what was mine. I didn't even know her—but she knew me. She forgave me before she learned I was a wretched soul. She offered me peace in the face of threat and fear.

And like everything pure in my life—she was gone.

I stared up at the stars—seeing only Bella's angelic face. The snow gently shrouded my still form and I waited for Carlisle to come for me.


	4. Chapter 4: Exact brand of heroine

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

Did anyone really like the old Bella... _Really?_ With the constant indecision and the always running to La Push to solve her problems. I prefer the Bella that you saw through Edward's eyes. In those moments when she could be seductive. Or the times when she made him feel weak with her confidence. I like the vampire Bella most so lets just cut to the chase.

Bella loved Edward- was made to love Edward- shaped to be Edward's salvation and future. End of story.

Or is it just the beginning...

**Answer: Duh, keep reading.**

Chapter 4: Enter the heroine or Enter Edward's exact _brand_ of heroine.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (Forks high school Biology class)**

_Poor old pathetic Bella..._

_She looks as white as a ghost and blushes whenever you talk to her..._

_She'd probably trip in front of a car and meet her end some day with her luck…_

_She must be the shyest person here..._

_Wonder why everyone keeps staring at her- she's nothing special..._

_Follow me..._

I can't remember my life before that moment. I was lying there in the forest- _On FIRE_! From the moment his lips touched me I was burning. How funny that I didn't fear the flames. I was reminded of Greek mythology- of scripture. Burnt offerings- this was my sacrifice. And I gave it freely.

I would burn on the pyre for all eternity if I got to feel those lips on mine. To stand in the heat of Dante's inferno and have flesh melted from bone if I would have the promise of looking into those eyes.

Something inside of me grew in a sudden intensity when I looked into those golden depths. At first it was an attraction- a provocation of body with lust for his sinfully beautiful face. But when he spoke I was changed. I stumbled behind him- the lamb to the slaughter. I willingly entered that forest knowing that I would never return to my old life.

I knew. Of course I knew. Wide eyed I may be but stupid I was not. The reason everyone at school cowered around Edward and his family was because they were dangerous. People like Jessica and Mike fluffed it off as being intimidated by their beauty and ethereal stillness. But I could sense it the minute I locked eyes with him in the cafeteria.

He was other. Not just different. And for some reason, that I hoped to explain soon, I did not react like my fellow humans and scurry away them in fear- I was drawn, like a lost sheep to her flock.

So when he commanded me to follow him, I was helpless to resist. And when the blazing eyes stalked me from the shadows I was anticipatory not of my death but of my _fate_.

I should have screamed. Some part of my mind was trying to force the sound from my lips- just as there was a piece of my intellect that warned me to show fear. But there was no beast hunting me in the forest only those eyes- and that face.

I wondered if Edward realized how terrified he looked when he attacked me. It was all too easy to remain calm with the depth of torment raging in his eyes. He obviously wanted it- was starving for it. And his movements were driven by that desire. But through the thick layer of confidence I saw the way his eyes tightened in worry. The way his brows bunched in pain. It was a sweet torture—for us both.

Awkwardness was a human trait- One that I had held in abundance. I remember that I should have been mortified by the sounds that escaped my chest as he dominated me. His body had landed on mine with a force that snapped my lower back instantly. I should have at least called out in pain. But it felt like a lion asserting his claim on his mate.

I wanted him to take whatever he desired. It was all his. I could see guilt in his eyes—I adjusted mine to reflect forgiveness without a second thought. I saw rage in his jaw I lay docile and did not struggle. I saw a hunger that would have made me weak in the knees and wet in the crouch—so I begged with my lips to let him take that too.

It was all his.

It was insanity. I was a seventeen year old girl with potential. I could have settled down with a nice mechanic and had two kids and a quiet happy little life. But I wasn't _that_ girl. I was Edward's girl. If all I ever lived for was to feed his need—I would die content.

That thought washed me in serenity in the face of my death. And allowed me to look what some would call a monster in the eye and beg him to take it.

He teased me- A breath of ice against my pouting warm lips. I felt his glass smooth lips hard against my soft.

Once.

Twice.

The third time an electric pulse was building in me. My heart was roaring in my veins—singing through my skin. I pushed out with the charge—take it. When his lips touched mine again I felt the tinniest twinge of pain.

I could smell the coppery blood pooling on my bottom lip. And I was doused in the flames. They fanned from the spot where his lips had caressed me and spread like a sweet poison through my blood.

"Take it."

He exposed my virtuous chest. It was exciting. It was making me drunk on some power that I didn't expect. He was destroying this body, but I knew he was not in control. He lowered his lips to my breast with a reverence that made me smile.

My hand traveled to his neck. I didn't even notice the pain when his teeth tore apart my flesh. The flow of blood was like a rush of warmth that I had anticipated in another part of my body for Edward. He suckled my breast like a man-child. I caressed his neck as a mother and lover—arching my chest to keep his lips on my flesh for as long as I could.

It was all his. _Take it_.

It was potent. It was evocative. It was ending too quickly.

Too soon I was losing my eyesight. That went first. I could no longer see the trees. And I could only remember the sight of Edward's beautiful face. Next went the hearing. I wanted to take the sounds of Edward's pleasure with me in to the afterlife. He groaned as he pulled my blood in frantically deeper. That was the last sound I heard. My limbs were tired. I may have controlled this monster but I was losing control of this body.

Eventually I couldn't even feel Edward's electrical current passing through me anymore.

I drifted in darkness—weightless and waiting. I wondered what would meet me in heaven, since there would be only one Edward and he would remain here. I also thought of the possibility that I would be denied the pearly gates and for the first time in my life I considered an eternity in hell.

Then the fire was everywhere—soldering my broken bones. I felt my skin change. My mind grew. My breath stopped. My heart raced. Where was Edward?

At that thought I found myself standing in a peaceful meadow. Was this heaven? I looked around. It just looked like more of Forks. A less traveled path, but very familiar none the less.

Above me was a heavy, thick sky of clouds. It was dark, but I could see like it was midday. I scanned the darkness and found my heart's desire lying on the ground.

His perfect body was contorted in an unnatural way. His eyes were open and wide—and glazed over with a hysterical glean. His mouth was open but no sound escaped his lips. I watched, horrified, as his body convulsed, and thrust in to the air.

He began whispering—frantic. _Bella. Bella. Bella_. He chanted my name like it was a life line to his sanity.

His eyes pulled wider and he glanced to his left away from me. I looked at the empty meadow—ready to annihilate any demon that haunted him. There was nothing.

His eyes turned to me. His entire form calmed at that first glance. My rage dissipated as he turned his head to face me. That peace and serenity that I had felt in giving my life to him settled over his features. I reached out my hand to him. Clearly we had the same affect on each other.

Then his gaze was torn back to the torment that lay in the opposing side of the meadow. I searched the darkness—what was it that pulled him from me. I saw nothing. Edward's body was enraptured in pain once more. Every inch of him was clenched. His face was beyond terror.

I couldn't think. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know how I got here. I threw myself at him—landing across his lap. He couldn't even acknowledge my presence. Whatever hell was trapping him away from me was too strong for him to fight.

That didn't frighten me. I reached my hand out and cupped the left side of his face. Somehow I understood, from our one encounter in the woods, that I was the one force in Edward's life that could truly control him.

His face turned with ease at my touch. And when his mind reached the gravitational pull at the center of his body I could tell his psychotic episode was over. His eyes went through a journey from fear, to acceptance, to wonder and settled into curiosity and while I waited for him to come back to me, I watched the evolution with great pleasure.

Already I could feel that our bodies were matching up. I could feel the humanity draining, _no smoldering_, from mine. His skin was no longer icy and hard but rather silky and warm. A perfect match.

I smoothed my hand down his hard jaw and long neck to rest it on his naked chest. I placed my palm over his silent heart. For a moment I thought I felt it jump to life at my touch. His skin was tingly where it met mine. I felt sparks jump from his flesh to my fingers.

When I met his eyes once more there was a new hunger growing. This time I was not crippled from the waste down. I could feel my immediate reaction to the primal lust in Edward's eyes.

His hands caught my hips and I tried not to laugh at the severe surge of confidence that I felt. He was powerless beneath me. I rocked on his growing need and almost laughed out loud when he realized that he was aroused.

Edward shot his face down, to look at the point where our bodies met, like a cartoon character. He looked horrified—like a pubescent boy waking up to his first boner. I shifted to let him look at it. I wanted to look too—he was bringing out the naughty sensations in me—but I spared him. Well, I tried to spare him. When those wide innocent eyes returned to mine I had to smile. He was just so damn clueless.

Here I was, Isabella Marie practically wearing a chastity belt Swan, and I could handle rampant sexual arousal better than Mr. God-like vampire. He scowled as he read my face. But then we were both lost to instinct.

I could tell he was having some sort of analytical moment—like he was thinking in multiple compartments in his head. I wanted more—wanted him inside of me like my blood had washed inside of him. But I was suddenly aware of the fire again.

This was more than the burning need at my core—as Edward reached his climax I burst into flames.

I awoke to darkness. I could hear a sparrow's wings miles in the distance. I could smell the vampire standing beside me.

It wasn't Edward- but there was something familiar to the scent, some trace element that Edward's scent held also. The same note lay in the texture of my own scent. Instinctually I recognized the owner of the aroma to be my _father_—the one whose venom changed my body.

I realized that I was awoken by the sweetest sound in my world—Edward's voice. As he flew into the room my senses were overwhelmed by his scent. He was roses and raindrops—he was home. And he was mine.

I was standing behind him before the thought to move had registered in my mind. He was aggressively looming in front of our father. It was a curious sight, but I was more intrigued by seeing him with my new eyes than I was at understanding this argument.

Father was staring at me with the oddest look of wonder—like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. _Curious_.

Then Edward turned—slower than I felt I could stand but I patiently waited for him to join me. Once I was lost in his scarlet wide eyes I placed my right hand on his left cheek—bringing him back to me.

"Thank you." I said.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV **

It was so wrong.

She wondered around the room like an inquisitive deity—like everything was new and wondrous. Her movements were lithe—more graceful than any of our kind. I wondered idly if she had possessed such elegance in her human life.

She looked like a child. And yet when I caught myself entranced by her slight hands, narrow hips and luscious lips, I remembered she was anything but.

That part of me was stirring again. I thanked whatever higher power looked out for our kind that I had more control over my body now—when I was truly in her presence.

It was still beyond belief. I felt as though I had lived five lifetimes in the past three days. The rage was still simmering under the surface. Carlisle had no right to force her into this life—but then I had stolen any hope of her living a happy human life long before he changed her.

He stood, monitoring and recording with his clinical eye. I heard the fascination that was mimicked in my own thoughts as he watched his new daughter. Bella was something to behold.

Self possessed was putting it mildly. Though she was curious, she was reserved. She was not wild with thirst. She was not enraged by fear or despair. She touched everything and memorized the scent of whatever she could find. She wore a gentle smile. She was happy. Every now and then she would look at me and smile wider.

In those moments I became an inebriated idiot and a goofy grin would spread across my face in response. That was wildly embarrassing. I was going to have to work on collecting myself while around Bella before I introduced her to Emmett and Jasper—I would never live down their ridicule.

"You should probably hunt," Carlisle said quietly as he took a seat at the dinning room table. He was planning on calling our family once Bella and I were out of the house. He was anxious to talk to Alice—she had only given him the account to as far as Bella's survival. He was at a loss.

I turned back to the ethereal figure who was suddenly close enough for me to touch and I was at a loss as well—she reached her hand up to touch my face. She liked touching my skin.

Again I tried to probe her mind—still silence. It was beyond frustrating to have her thoughts locked away from me. Hers was the only mind in a hundred years that I wanted to know as intimately as my own. I would give up the ability to read everyone else's mind if I could hear but one thought from Bella's.

"Will you show me?" She asked—eyes wide with anticipation.

I chuckled- Like I would allow her to do anything without me from this point on. "Of course love." It felt so natural to return her gesture and stroke her cheek with my thumb. Her eyes closed as she leaned into my touch.

My body was stirred once more. Perhaps we would not only be satiating the one hunger this afternoon.

Carlisle cleared his throat. I was annoyed but only as a fool in love, not in the same angry way I would have been before Bella.

Bella pushed past me to really look at Carlisle for what I imagined was the first time in her new life. She knew as we all did, that he was her father. That tie was undeniable. The social bond would grow in time—probably a short amount of it with the capability of Bella's heart and Carlisle's compassion. She reminded him of his Esme—our mother.

"Hello," she said quietly.

Carlisle smiled—on his face and in his mind. He was already in love with her. She was rather irresistible, I had to admit. "I'm Carlisle. I would like to welcome you to the family—you are a Cullen now," his words rang with the vigilant sincerity that soldered us all together, "forever." Carlisle reached out to shake her hand.

Bella flitted over to him and threw her arms around his shoulders like a long lost daughter being reunited with her father. He was stunned for a moment but recovered and hugged her back. Yes, he was going to be even more of a push over when it came to his youngest child than I was with her.

"Thanks." She turned to me with those expectant eyes. I shook my head in agreement and nodded to Carlisle as we headed out the back door for the hunt.

I laughed silently as I caught Carlisle's thoughts when he dialed the phone to speak to Alice. Like a daddy wanting to buy his daughter a pony, Carlisle was preparing to probe Alice for suggestions on a birthday gift for Bella. He was planning to shower her in the adoration that she gave us so effortlessly.

Push over.

**\/Darkside\/**

"Calm down love," I chided. She was growing frustrated. Finally something Bella wasn't instantly a pro at. We had been on the hunt for only a few minutes but she was feeling more and more like the newborn that she was as she allowed the urges to take hold.

She danced between wild and crazed thirst to enthralling lust. She would catch the scent of our prey but then turn away from the path when she would catch my scent behind her. I wasn't much help. I could control my self in the hunt but my desires for her were just as potent. We had all but stripped down to take each other against a tree when she started to howl in aggravation.

"It's so damn hard, Edward!" She pleaded with her eyes and words. I was lost to the sound of my name on her lips. I liked it.

"I know. It would probably be easier if I stayed behind…" I saw the horror at the mention of our separation and amended the thought. "But I can't let you out of my sight." She nodded, appeased for the moment.

She sighed and rested her forehead against my chest. This woman was going to be my undoing.

"Would it be easier to just follow you and feed when we found us something to eat?" She offered.

I shook my head. "No. To feed you must hunt and when you allow the hunting instinct to surface you won't be able to take a submissive position."

She nodded in resignation. I chuckled again. "Don't worry love," she brought up her eyes to meet mine. She liked it when I called her that. "I won't let you starve." She giggled. It was the most precious sound in my world.

I was lost in the folds of her sweet laugh and missed the register of the scent until it was too late. Bella didn't.

Her head snapped to the left as the breeze kicked up and tossed her brown hair away from her face. She launched her self out of my arms as I caught the scent too- Human.

Damn my soul to the deepest part of hell where it belonged.

I knew better than to be so careless. Bella should have had years to hone her hunting prowess before she had human blood paraded in front of her as thirsty as she was. I chased behind her. There was nothing I could do. I would try to reason with her—hope that her intellect would saturate through the bloodlust enough to turn her away before she took the life. I could not fight her.

Newborns were strong—made so by the remnants of their human blood in their systems. But I was filled with my singer's blood—the same blood that made Bella strong. I could be evenly matched if she did turn on me. But I could not fight her. Not my Bella. I followed Bella to the clearing. The aroma was enticing my senses. This human smelled almost as good as Bella had.

There was something there—a connection to Bella's human blood that was threatening to seize my mind if I could only figure it out. She was too fast for me to stop, since I was trapped in a profound moment of uncertainty.

His thoughts became my own as my ravenous mate took him down with commendable skill. She tore his flesh at the base of his neck and drank deep of his blood before his human mind could recognize that she was there. A mercy that.

I came to stand behind her and watch in a mixture of disgust and horror. What had I forced this child to become? She moaned in pleasure as she tasted the true sustenance meant for our kind. She was enjoying the taste too much and it turned my stomach. Not because I didn't understand how glorious the sensation of drinking human blood was and not because I found it ethically wrong to take a human life. But because she was drinking the blood of not just any human- Bella was drinking the blood of Forks' Chief of Police, Charlie Swan, her mortal father.

I didn't look forward to where this turn of events would lead…


	5. Chapter 5: You're a Cullen now forever

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

What is the use of the parent once a child comes of age? When Dorothy found the value of home it was as an orphan. When Luke defeated the greatest evil in the universe it was by killing his father. When a child chooses their destiny is it necessary for the parent to be involved? What if the destiny is something that would have killed the soul of the parent were they around to see it? Would the death of that parent seem justified?

**Answer:**

Chapter 5: Coming of Age or You are a Cullen now- Forever

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV **

I could sense him behind me. Some primal instinct told me to defend my kill from his presence. But the greater part of my mind knew better than to attack Edward. He was a silent observer as I completed my vampiric initiation.

He was right- it was all too easy and instinctual. The scent was like a beacon on the wind. My senses were incredibly focused on the hunt. Unlike my failed attempts at killing animals, this prey was too good to ignore. I caught my mate's essence closing in behind me but it only spurred me to move faster to claim the prize.

I pounced with the accuracy of my new body. He was tall for a human- in his mid forties. And he smelled delicious. He neither saw me coming nor survived long enough to realize his fate.

I ripped flesh from bone with my razor sharp teeth. My eyes rolled back into my head as I drew in the sweet nectar. It was so good. Edward's breaths were hard and fast as he watched- the rhythm was affecting the pace of my actions.

I was alive with the taste of the blood. My frozen flesh was growing warm. My mind was flying. The thought of such bliss was pulling memories of another release that I suddenly wanted more than the blood. I heard the human's heart give out and pulled the final drops of blood from his veins. I shoved off of him, drunk on his blood, and allowed the allure of my mate's fragrance to drive my urges.

An instinct more feral than the thirst, I turned to stalk my love. His face was tortured and his eyes were wide. His breath passed through strained lips in deep fast gusts. I wasn't concerned with the fear that I saw in the depths of his eyes. I saw the lust there too- he was just as hungry as I.

That was all I needed to know.

He fell under me as I sprang at his chest. That same look of torment was on his face making me smile- My love was too tense all of the time. I would need to offer him a new hobby to replace his hours of constant worry. When I lowered my lips to his it only took a second for his body to echo my longing.

Our tongues met inside his mouth and we moaned in unison. I turned my head to deepen the kiss. The taste of the human's blood was still dripping from my tongue. Edwards's body rose slightly to force him self deeper into my mouth—licking the taste from the back of my tongue like it was icing from a cupcake. His strong hands clutched my hips, securing me to him.

I felt his body grow ready- mine was on fire from feeding. Everything was hot and wet and craving Edward. I sat up- mimicking the first time we discovered this shared excitement. I pulled my shirt above my head- Carlisle must have dressed me when he brought me home- Such an attentive father. Edward lay gapping at my naked chest.

I cocked an eyebrow. It was not the first time he saw them. "But you were covered in blood and I was crazed with thirst." He defended as if I had spoken the thought out loud- like he could read my mind. I smiled. How completely unnerving it would be if Edward could read my thoughts. I pictured our bodies naked and entwined in rapture as a thrill shot through my frozen veins.

He pulled me from my musing as an odd glean snuck into the corner of his eyes.

I was starting to lose control as his thumbs rubbed the exposed flesh of my lower abdomen. I wanted his hands on my breasts. I bit my lip and raised my eyes to the sky. That cocky confidence was escaping me. I was now the clueless virgin, trying to blush and too embarrassed to beg for what I really wanted.

Again, like he could hear my thoughts in his head, Edward followed my command. His hands smoothed a path from my stomach to my crests. He touched my skin reverently- like it was made from the finest porcelain. His fingers were electric and tingled on my flesh as they met my breasts.

I arched my body into his touch- A moan escaping my lips, eliciting a groan in response from his. My head fell back as my eyes closed to the pleasure. This was much better than drinking human blood. He palmed the peeks- stroking in agonizingly slow circles. I moaned deep at the decadence. I could feel his pulsating need beneath me and my skin was singing with the fresh blood from my hunt. My nipples were growing sensitive to his touch- I bit my lip again as my mind pleaded for me to speak the need. But of course I didn't have to. Edward's thumbs darted out to tease the buds. The sensation that shot through me made my mind explode. I could hear the resonance of Edward sharing my release- again like he was psychically linked to me.

I rode the wave in anticipation for what would come next. When my mind cleared I settled back down to look into his eyes. I smiled in tandem with his wide grin. Some part of my mind knew that this wasn't normal- even for a vampire couple. But I sat waiting for him to make the next move not caring to think about anything else at the moment.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe it. I closed my eyes- so many sensations begging for my attention. I ignored them all, saved one- Bella's mind was whispering in my head. It was impossible. It was wonderful. It was making my body vibrate with anticipation. She sat atop me as my angel had two days ago. I wondered if this was how Alice felt when she saw a vision come to fruition in real time.

I wanted to understand the change. Why could I hear her now? Was it the blood… Did she just need time to fully change… What was different about right now.

_God I need to feel him inside of me_…

That desperate part of my self that was twitching to follow her command nearly tore through my pants at her words. Sex had been such a worthless word to me three days ago—now that I had the promise of sex with Bella for all eternity it made me wild.

My hips bucked under her. I wanted to be inside her—return the favor that she had given me with her blood. _Yes_, she breathed across my mind. Her voice was growing louder. Why? Her hands slapped over mine where they stroked her full breasts. _Yes_- Louder. She squeezed her palms around me, making me groan as her hard nipples crushed into my flesh. _Yes_—Louder. Her thighs squeezed around my hips and she rocked gently. _YES_—Louder.

I was nearly insane with the lust that was clouding my mind but I finally made the connection. I rotated our bodies to trap her under me. I was not so inexperienced this time—this was an instinct that was imprinted on every inch of my skin.

I sat back on my knees to remove my shirt—mirroring my love's pose. With skill like a seasoned temptress she shimmied off her pants while still pressed under me. I was impressed. I leaned forward like the menacing lion I was—my wicked crooked smile smoothing my face. I undid the fly of my pants and she used her delicate legs to undress me in the same motion.

We were naked. Feral. Carnal. Alive.

My lips rested against hers—not touching. Our breaths, our scents, mingled in the air between our faces. My hands cupped her cheeks and my lips plunged down aggressively. She was submissive for a heartbeat, and then her hands were gripping my hair. Sweet torture. She shoved my face against hers while her little wrists would tug at my hair too. She was leading my lips down her body.

_Please_, her mind pleaded. _Take it_.

My mouth traveled from her lips to her chest—planting delicate, wet kisses along the way. That electricity that we generated was making the air around us sing and buzz. I wanted to test my theory about Bella's mental silence. When my lips reached her crest, I pulled away. I lifted my head to look her in the eyes. She was instantly on guard.

Her eyes scanned the meadow around us. Her hands in my hair no longer caressed but held tight in anticipation. Her body beneath me was clenched in fear. And her mind was silent.

I could see the emotions running through her eyes. She wasn't hurt that I had stopped. I could see the thoughts on her face. She was worried—she knew the only thing that could pull me from this exchange had to be danger. I could read her like an open book—but I couldn't _hear_ her.

My hands caressed her cheeks to ease her concerns. Her eyes searched mine in confusion. I smiled once more- Now to complete the experiment. I lowered my face reverently to Bella's naked breast. The last time that I had touched this flesh was to end her life. But I approached the peak with the same emotion. To touch Bella was to love her—make love to her. Even in the act of draining her blood, I had loved her. I enveloped the rosy bud in my mouth.

Bella's body arched as it had while dying. She moaned deep. And my experiment worked.

_YES!_ Her mind was screaming. I smiled around her skin. I kissed her flesh patiently. I wanted to enjoy hearing her in my head. Now that I knew that our sexual bond was my connection to her mind—I feared that I would never want to do anything but make love to Bella. I wanted to savor the moment.

But Bella was a newborn. She would have the rest of eternity for savoring. Her impatience was running through her mind. I suppressed a chuckle at the derogatory slurs she was wrapping around my name as I took my time. And just like everything Bella, she caught me by surprise when she locked her legs around my hips and plunged all of me into her throbbing core.

My mouth gapped open—still resting just above her breast. This was the most defining moment of my very long life.

I was alive. I was on fire. I felt a heat radiating from Bella's body that was pulsing into my own. And Bella's pleasure was even more intense—making mine almost psychotic as her thoughts became my own.

She tapped into some deep corner of her own mind with the surge of energy and suddenly I was reliving every moment of Bella's life. I saw her as child—withdrawn and shy. I saw her with her mother—patient and loving. I saw her moving to Forks and falling into an easy relationship with her father. As the memory of Charlie Swan crossed both of our minds the world came crashing down.

Bella instantly flashed to the image of her first kill. She made the connection. And the pictures in her head went black in mine. I pulled out of her. I sat on my knees in desperate sympathy as I watched her claw her way over to the dead body. This was the first time she truly looked like a newborn vampire.

Her eyes were ferocious and scarlet with his blood. Her face was contorted around the lines of violent rage that was bubbling up from her chest. The strangled snarls that tore from her tight lips felt like claws digging into my flesh.

When she reached him her pale naked body was covered in mud and grass. She put her tiny hands on his neck. Her white palms turned up stained in crimson remorse. I wished that she could weep. Her face was agonized—her eyes and mouth working to make the tears come.

She put the blood stained hands to her face and rocked over his body. I did not move. It was unfathomable for me to beg Bella's forgiveness. I had done this to her—gave her no option but to become a monster like I was. I allowed her to hunt with the temptation of his blood in the air. I prayed that the mouth of hell would open up and swallow me whole.

I stood and collected our clothes. I dressed- Never looking at Bella. I could hear her sobs behind me. I wished that I could comfort her. I laid her clothes on the ground behind her and stood back in the shadow of the near by trees. I would not leave her but I felt wrong intruding on this private anguish.

After a long while, her body slowed and finally stilled. Her sobs turned into gentle whimpers. And she rested her hands on her father's face as if she was saying goodbye. I was almost deplorably hopeful that she would walk away from the moment at peace with what had happened. She had accepted so much in such a short amount of time that I was arrogant enough to believe that she would just shrug this off as well.

I saw her shoulders slouch—in defeat, or acceptance. And she turned her head slightly. Silently she was asking me to join her. I followed her command—I would do anything she wished. I knelt beside her. She was staring at his dead face—still gripped fiercely in her hands. Her eyes were broken. She turned her gaze to mine and I could see the battle in her mind. She was still sure of her path—she wanted this life. She was just trying to reconcile the plight of our kind.

She was fighting her conscience. I felt her pain. I had had to suffer for more years than I would ever allow her to, in order to come to terms with my conscience. Good and Evil. Right and Wrong.

I shook my head as her eyes strained to find answers in mine. She was so young. She needed to be taught. She needed to know what all of this meant. She was focused on my face when the sun broke through the midday clouds. Her eyes grew wide as my skin caught the light and cast rainbows in the air.

Bella moved her eyes back to her father's face. I couldn't speak. I was inappropriately wondering at her body in the sun. She was even more magnificent than I had imagined. The crystallized pours of her flesh burst into a thousand sparkling gems. She was more divine than the angel of my dream. I was in awe of her—worshiping her beauty. But I didn't miss the way she scowled as she compared her flesh to Charlie's.

It was like watching a mother finally understand that her child was an adult and able to live on their own. Like watching a father kiss his daughter when he offered her hand away at the alter. Bella's face settled into the hard lines of acceptance.

"I really am a Cullen now," she said.

"Forever." I confirmed.


	6. Chapter 6: Never sleep through history

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

What do you want to know? When you grow up—don't you receive some golden letter in the mail that defines the universe entire. At the moment you come of age—aren't all your worries eased and all the things that used to scare you erased. It only gets easier from here—right?

**Answer:**

Chapter 6: Some Answers, But more Questions or Never sleep through History

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV**

It was some kind of schizophrenia.

On the outside I was Bella Cullen—Edward's Bella. I was immortal and strong. I was a vampire. My eyes were red from the blood I drank. I thirsted for that blood to fuel my frozen body.

I ran my hand over my sparkling skin. I was dazzling in the sunlight. I was pale as a ghost in the dark. Nothing was dark to my eyes. I could see everything. I could hear everything. I caught the scent of squirrels scurrying in the trees a hundred yards to my left.

I was as still as the dead man without any effort. I did not need to move. Nothing hurt. Everything was effortless. My mind was cavernous- wide and calculating. I could think a million thoughts at once and not be distracted from reaching the end of each. But there was a space in that mind that was… _other_. That was confusing to my higher intellect. That was human.

I hadn't recalled the memories before- it seemed blasphemous to do so now. I had been born knowing the only important thought in my world- Edward. In those human memories- there was no Edward. There was only a brief moment of panic in the face of an animal- A terror at the end of a life. The hard cold steel of amber eyes that stalked me from the darkness.

I shoved my face further into my blood stained hands. I wasn't that human. I couldn't feel any connection to her in these limbs. I fought the urge to lick the blood from my hands- it was still fragrant with the taste. That was proof that I was a vampire.

It was confusing- and yet it was just annoying. Edward returned to the trees to give me privacy. He believed my anguish was over the dead man in front of me. It wasn't. That was the human's problem. I was bereft with the agony of suffering these nagging, wayward visions.

When I looked at his face, the dead man, I saw only my kill. But the human saw a father- and the human tried to force pain in to my gut with some sort of guilt that I did not deserve. He was not _my_ father. My father had honey colored hair and golden eyes. He was serene in his eternal compassion- and he did not judge the cravings of my body. My father had saved me. He had brought me to Edward. I watched the hollow brown eyes of the dead man. _My eyes_. No- The human's eyes.

I swallowed involuntarily. My mouth was suddenly dry- even though it was saturated with venom. My eyes strained and my cheeks grew taut. My mouth worked wordlessly up and down. This action was more foreign than any other. The human was trying to make me cry. But vampires didn't cry. Could vampires regret? I imagined so. I had seen the trepidation in Edward's face when we first met at the house. I could see that look in his eyes now as he paced the shadows.

The human reached out with my hand and stroked the dead man's face. _Charlie_. She screamed in her corner of my mind. I shrugged my shoulders at the invisible voice. He was just a dead body to me. No, I just wanted to see him that way. My brows furrowed. My body was overwhelmed in intense emotions- citizen high to citizen low. It was exhausting. I was suddenly very tired.

I turned to Edward. He was a white blur in the darkness for a heartbeat then he was kneeling in front of me. My body was numb and useless. I sat, still naked, unmoving. I wanted to raise my hands and touch his skin- the contact always made me feel more alive, more rooted to this life. But the human was terrified to be so close to him. I beat back the fear that she threatened to send through my eyes. I was not afraid of Edward. My hands were limp in my lap as I looked to him for guidance. Was this just to be expected? Were we all so torn in two in the beginning? I yearned for the security of my ignorance at birth. I wanted to relish this new life, but instead I had to stave off a growing tumor in my mind.

My drooping eyes watched his. I was so fatigued. I wanted to go back to the house and get into bed. Did vampires sleep? It was an appealing proposition- Especially if I got to sleep in Edwards's arms. I watched him with a quiet hope. I was invalid as he reached behind me to retrieve my clothes. The sleepiness was spreading through my veins like the venom. I was heavy all over. I swayed back to allow him access to replace my pants on my naked legs. His thumbs left a tingly path up the length of my inner thighs as he pulled the cloth in to place. But these tingles were not the same as before- this was a feeling that was relaxing me and calling my mind to the sweet release of slumber.

I finally found control of my hands as Edward pulled me into an awkward embrace to reach for my shirt. I was enveloped in her luscious scent. It was like a lullaby. My nose nuzzled into his neck while my fingers searched under his shirt to smooth across his chest. I felt the same soothing pulse pass to his skin and his chest relaxed noticeably. His head dropped to my shoulder. His arms were loosely draped around my naked back. My shirt was forgotten. Our breathing was growing more slow and even. I felt his eyes close against my skin. The thought of sleep was like a decadent dessert that I was too hungry to resist. I relaxed back on to the ground- Edward settling over me.

I felt his lips brushing gently against my cheek. He was heavy with comfort- I was completely covered under his sleek body. His strong arms were wrapped around me and I felt as secure as a child in her father's arms. My hands stayed on his skin but wound around his neck to secure him in my embrace. He rested his head reverently against my chest—like a son in his mother's embrace. He started to hum- low and soft. The melody was beautiful, made so by his perfect voice. It was a lullaby. I only heard the first few notes before I succumbed to the exquisite promise of unconsciousness.

As I drifted into oblivion, I heard and felt Edward join me. It was so cozy and warm.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV**

If I were to ever describe my Bella in one word it would be- _impossible_.

That was exactly what was running through my head as my body relaxed at her touch. I lived through ninety years of sleepless nights. I couldn't even remember what it felt like to be tired. But her hands were washing me in soothing waves of peace. My body was growing heavy—to heavy for me to want to hold it up. I had wanted to take care of her and put her clothes back on. I leaned over her to finish the job. But I didn't even get the chance to touch her shirt.

All at once her hands were on me—and a warmth radiated from her finger tips that lulled me to sleep. I dropped my head to her shoulder—I inhaled deep of her calming scent. My mind was growing fuzzy and clearing of any thought but sleep. Bella was tired, I couldn't understand why. My arms wound limply around her back to secure her to me in the absence of my control. I could no longer find the energy to want to understand.

I heard her sigh as I closed my eyes against her neck. I was drifting in a cloud of peace. She eased us down. I shielded her body with my own. My head came to rest on her still bare chest. It was so… impossible. I nuzzled the silky skin of her warm breasts. A melody rose in my mind—a lullaby and the image of my love asleep in my arms played behind my eyes. I think I heard myself humming the tune out loud but suddenly everything went black and I was swept in to unconsciousness.

**\/Darkside\/**

I don't know how long I slept but when I woke up I felt more rejuvenated than I had since I was reborn. I was aware of Bella's skin against my cheek. I could feel her tiny chest rise and fall in even slumber. I burrowed in to her soft warmth. She smelled so good.

There was some nagging thought that was trying to drag me from this moment. I shook my head unconsciously to swat it away. I relished the feel of relaxation with my Bella. I felt her little hand in my hair. Again that thought tugged at the back of my mind—I wanted to ignore it but this time there was a sharp pain that followed. I realized with a start that the tugging was Bella's fingers pulling my hair.

I opened my eyes and flashed then up to hers. Bella's eyes were wide and panicked. My shoulders tensed as I took a protective position over her body. I scanned our surroundings. I expected to find something watching us from the trees. What could make her so on edge…

But as I focused my eyes on the world around us, I couldn't figure out what was going on.

It was not unlike the blood induced coma of the nightmarish visions that I had suffered a few days ago—the absence of the fear made it less threatening, but I was very aware that we were not in reality.

We were lying in a bed. A bed that I remembered from a dream of a dream—the memory of a former life that had died years ago. It was the bed of my youth. I sat up, bringing Bella with me in my impenetrable embrace. She was like a rag doll in my arms. She had no clue where we were. I was only slightly less terrified as I recognized the place but still at a loss for how or why we were here.

Without a warning, a young boy came bursting through the doorway. Bella nearly jumped out of the bed. She shoved herself behind my broad back. I was frozen in shock. The boy sat on the floor—a small rudimentary instrument made of spoons and pot lids in his hands. He was preparing to compose what he believed would be the next great American symphony. My mouth hung open—like the gaping idiot.

I was staring at the eight year old version of my human self. My bronze hair was short but still wildly cascading over my crown. My vivid green eyes were intense on the project at hand. My small cheeks were flushed with excitement. And I could even smell my human blood flowing in my mortal veins. Bella could feel the tension in my body—it made her more afraid. She let out a quiet whimper at my inability to either comfort her or face our foe.

This drew the intense green eyes in our direction. He… I… the boy wasn't as shocked and terrified as we were. He smiled—a tiny crooked smile that made his eyes sparkle and his face look simply dazzling. I realized he wasn't looking at me and I turned to see Bella peeking around my arm. Her mouth fell open with a pop and a gasp stole her breath when she saw his face. It was impossible to deny that he was me. She looked from my face to my younger one again and again.

As with every moment of my existence since Bella fell into it, I was wondering what it all meant. "Edward," my mother's voice called from the invisible hallway behind the door. Now it was my turn to gasp. Bella's eyes stayed fixed on my face and I begged with all my might for her to come into the room.

"Time for breakfast," she called. Young Edward jumped to his feet, forgetting us entirely and ran out of the room. I was too stunned to speak for a couple of moments. Bella was now completely behind me again and her forehead was thumping against my back like she was trying to make her self wake up from a bad dream….

Wait. A dream. I looked around the room. This couldn't be real. This had to be a dream. Sleep. Bella and I were asleep.

I closed my eyes. I tried to force myself awake. But I hadn't slept in so long—I had no idea what to do. "Bella," I pleaded, knowing that the fictitious one sitting behind me was just part of the illusion. I hoped that my words were penetrating the slumber and reaching her sleeping ears. I needed her to help me wake up. "Bella, love," I pleaded. "Wake up!"

I felt the head on my back cease her movements. I was lost to the frustration of not being in control. "That's right." The voice behind me breathed. "We fell asleep." I was highly impressed that my subconscious had created a Bella very close to the real thing- So in control, so intelligent. "Edward," she yelled. I shot a look over my shoulder. She was acting like I was the imaginary creature here, not she. "EDWARD!" She bellowed. I threw my hands over my ears. Was my mind insane—did I really believe that this vision could wake me more than I could myself?

I watched her face as she considered escape of the dream. She was far too substantial and lucid to be anything but real. I reached out my hand and pinched her arm.

"OW!" She yelped. My brows were scrunched together at the impossibility. "Edward?" She said mirroring my ridiculous hypothesis. I nodded in agreement. "How…" she asked and then we were tumbling in darkness.

I awoke with a start. My head snapped off Bella's chest but her strong hands were clasped behind my neck, securing me to her and limiting my movements. Her eyes opened abruptly following me. We looked into each other's eyes.

"What the hell was that?" She breathed. Her voice was thick with sleep. My mind was still hazy from the loss of control. I shook my head as she released her hold and we sat up. "Were we dreaming… _together_?" She asked perplexed.

I rubbed my neck—it was actually a little stiff. I nodded. Then I realized the ludicrousness of her words—we were dreaming! We were _SLEEPING_!

I looked at Bella with wide eyes—_IMPOSSIBLE_!

"What?" She said looking down at her naked chest as if she would find something offensive to wipe away and end my opened mouth stare.

"We have to go… see Carlisle." I managed to form the words though my mind was still blowing apart. I found her shirt and handed it to her. I stood dazed.

She covered herself and stood with me. "What's wrong, Edward?" She grabbed my hand in both of hers. Her eyes were worried—that shook some sense back into me. I placed my hands on either side of her face to reassure her. "What did I do?"

"Bella," my head tried to wrap around the unreal moment and explain to her, in the simplest way possible, why I was so unnerved. "What we just did… You don't understand… We… _You_… WE SLEPT!" I shouted much louder than I meant to. Her eyes grew wider—a look of remorse and fear on her child-like face.

"So?" She prompted innocently.

I laughed against my better judgment. Bella's face fell as she misinterpreted the sound to mean I was making fun of her. I hugged her to me fiercely. "Vampires don't sleep love," I offered dumbly. "We have no need to… We… We're not able to." My voice was shaky as my mind started to put the pieces into place. Bella leaned back, looking at me confused all over again.

"What?" She whispered. I nodded idly. We needed to get back to Carlisle. I lifted Charlie's body off the ground and slung it over my shoulder. I wrapped my other arm around my love and lead us back to the house.

We ran—fast a lightening. My mind was spinning with conjectures that I needed Carlisle's experience and intellect to help resolve. I was pretty certain in one respect. As Alice with her future visions and Jasper with his mood altering—and especially me with my mind reading, Bella was gifted in her new life. Perhaps it might even explain my inability to read her mind. I couldn't define what the power was, or what the parameters of what she was capable of were—but I was certain she was the reason we fell asleep.

I was also positive that she was driving that dream. I was instantly reminded of our sexual encounter before we slept—the way Bella had moved on top of me… just like in my vision- Just like she had been there in the meadow _during_ my vision.

I pushed us faster through the woods. One thing was for sure—Bella kept one on their toes.

**\/Darkside\/**

**CPOV (Cullen house)**

I was polishing the silver for the fifteenth time that day. Esme always liked a perfectly polished tea service. I smiled as I thought of her. I tapped the phone in my pocket—again. How I missed her when we were parted.

I sighed.

Alice said they would be home by nightfall. I didn't think that remaining in Forks was wise. There were too many opportunities for something to go wrong. And there was still the matter of the town's police chief and his missing daughter to deal with.

My silent heart grew heavy at that thought. I could never be the kind of father that Charlie was to Bella, but I could empathize with the anguish of the loss. I had been Bella's father for only a few short days but already I knew I would massacre any creature who tried to harm her. Fatherhood was truly an unnerving experience for me. The only bond strong enough to make the value of good before evil dissipate from my soul entirely. Even my fierce protectiveness of Esme was rooted in the fact that I had changed her like all my children.

I replaced the silver in the drawer and settled on to the couch with another heavy sigh. I was such the dastardly villain in Bela Lugosi's nightmarish rendition of vampires. I shuddered as I thought of the monsters who truly made those legends more real than myth. They were out there. And Edward had almost become one of them.

I put my feet on the coffee table—mainly because Esme wasn't here to chide me for doing it. I locked my fingers together and whistled. It was, to use Edward's language, so pathetic. I could be doing something important at the med center. I could be keeping my family safe as they traveled home. I could be doing anything else, but Alice told me to wait.

At times like these, I wondered if Alice got her jollies from giving us commands that made us look foolish. Her gift was valuable to our survival—to the preservation of our way of life. We trusted her visions to protect us. And because of that reliance, we often looked like the hypnotized fool at the county fair. I sat—resisting the urge to cluck like a chicken—and did what she told me to do.

She said that it was vital to Bella's well-being and Edward's peace of mind that I stay put. Sometimes she sounded like a bogus psychic that human's called on nine hundred numbers late at night. But I had to admit that she was always right.

My whistling was cut short as I caught the scent of fresh human blood.

I turned to see Edward and Bella coming through the kitchen door—the dead body of Charlie Swan in Edward's arms.

I rolled my eyes. Would the boy never learn!

Edward glared at my silent accusation. He nodded his head toward Bella as she took the lead into the room. My mind went blank as I tried to fathom that encounter. Edward's features looked a thousand years old as he shook his head in agreement. My son had not accepted Bella's renovations yet—he took the world's guilt on to his shoulders.

He glared at me again. I shrugged infinitesimally. He knew it was true. He nodded and looked out the window. Our silent conversation was interrupted by the soft voice by the front door.

"Do either of you honestly think I didn't see any of that?" She asked plainly.

I raised my eyebrows as I acknowledge my newborn daughter for the first time. Edward chuckled. "No love," he said and reached his hand out for her. She flitted across the room to take it. I watched engrossed as my angst ridden son, the one so poisoned by hatred for almost a century, gently caressed her cheek with a tenderness so sweet it broke my heart. "It's just hard to teach old dogs new tricks." He kissed the tip of her nose and now they were having a silent conversation in each other's eyes- One that I knew all too well.

I stood by the couch and waited. Alice was right—they obviously were looking for me. I averted my eyes to watch the river flowing along the backside of the yard through the wall of windows. Edward was deepening his kiss and it was awkward for me to watch. He snickered around Bella's lips as he read my chagrined thoughts.

He stepped away and drew her over to the couch.

"We need to talk." He said sitting down and pulling her on to his lap.

I relaxed at the promise of discourse. I was anxious to get to know my new child. "That's partly what we need to discuss." Edward hedged as I sat next to them. Bella's eyes traveled from Edward's guarded expression to my blank stare.

"Yes," I prompted.

"Bella's has a gift." He stated simply. That was impressive, but hardly unique in this family. Edward nodded. "She made us…" He regarded me with that look that he reserved for his disapproval of the way I studied things. Edward felt like a freak every time someone's thoughts were forced into his consciousness—the fact that I recorded his reactions and researched the medical theories surrounding them mad him feel like a lab rat. His face hardened at that errant thought. He began again. "She made us… fall asleep," he continued—watching my expression. "And we dreamed…" My mouth actually fell open.

"Together." She finished.

I made a mental note to ask more questions of Alice the next time she gives me such a vague command. How dare she not warn me about this!

Edward shrugged. I nodded in agreement. _That's Alice_.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV**

It was frustrating to try to concentrate on their debate. Carlisle and Edward had been dissecting my "gift" as Edward referred to it for nearly an hour. And though I was fascinated to listen—I was still battling that damn human in the back of my mind.

Edward had brought the dead man with us. I knew it had to be done—that the evidence would need to be destroyed. But the human forced my sight to zero in on the dinning room table rather than my love's face. The dead man was desecrating the sacred place of my transformation with his—death. I was enraged that he couldn't just disappear. Would he taint every one of my happy memories with his vindictive stillness?

The human lashed out with pangs of guilt in my chest. I ignored it. I would never apologize for killing him. It was in my nature.

Sensing my unease, Edward's hand caressed my lower back unconsciously. It made me smile—until I would notice the dead man again. I forced myself back into the discussion as I caught Carlisle mentioning something about Edward's gift.

"You can do it too?" I asked in all my naivety. There was so much I still needed to learn.

Edward's face grew soft. "No love," his eyes were watching my face intently as he finished. I stole myself to not upset him with my reaction. "I read minds." He breathed. In all my world I couldn't understand the deplorable shame that I could see in the depths of Edward's eyes.

He was magnificent. He was good—whether he ever accepted that or not. And his ability just made him even more wondrous. I conveyed my awe in his presence through my eyes—and then the reality hit me. Edward could hear what people were thinking…. Edward could know what I was thinking….

My mind flashed to our moment of sex in the woods—to my unspoken desires and how he answered them. I hid my face in my hands. Edward was chuckling on the other side of the barrier.

"I can't hear your mind love." He offered—a little too conveniently considering that that was the worry running in my mind at that moment. He laughed again when my guarded eyes peeked out of my fingers. "But your thoughts are still very easy to read."

I could hear Carlisle laughing lightly at the exchange. I turned to face him. "What can you do, father?" Luckily my vampire mind was equipped with perfect recall—I feared there was so much more I would need to know and remember.

"It isn't as simple as having an ability like a superhero. It's more of an amplification of one's dominant trait in their human life. I was concerned for my fellow man—compassionate. Edward was sensitive to what other's thought. Other members of our family, who you'll meet shortly," he shared an apologetic smile with Edward. Edward sighed. "Well, you have a sister, Alice, who can see the future. And a brother, Jasper, who can control the moods of others." My mind was reeling at the impossibilities of his words.

"Your mother, Esme," his voice took on that note of reverence like Edward's did when he called me his love. It gave me hope that Edward and I were destined to be together forever. The human screamed in the darkness of my mind. "Esme is meant to be a mother and caregiver. Your older brother Emmett is strong, a natural protector. And Rosalie…" Both he and Edward sighed deep at the mention of that name. "Well," Carlisle said dropping the thought and smiling. "You'll see when you meet her."

Edward chuckled behind me. I was suddenly very anxious as I mulled over my father's words. I had not only gained him and Edward but an entire coven. Complete with mother and sisters and brothers. I looked down at my tiny hands. What if I wasn't well received? They must have all known how I died—and I'm sure at least some of them felt the way Edward did about vampirization. The dead man on the table and the alternate personality that sought to damage my calm had nothing on those six little words—"you'll see when you meet her". I gulped.

Edward's hand kept caressing my back. And he kissed my temple. He went back to discussing the possible connections and limitations of my ability. I wondered at the thought that Carlisle had no active gift but little ol inconsequential Bella did.

"I used to talk in my sleep." I said randomly. They had been discussing human sleep cycles and dream analysis. I thought I could offer some insight on the human, or before aspects of my gift—the part that was amplified perhaps. The only problem with offering this information was having to rely on that nagging human to retrieve it.

Edward looked intrigued. I couldn't imagine why. The human thought it had been embarrassing at best. Her dreams were powerful and vivid. It was borderline psychosis. I could recall with clarity how her mind would be trapped by the nightmares—so real she would wake up screaming- Or would be awoken to embarrassing hormonal reactions to more lusty encounters.

Edward watched as I swallowed hard against the human's thoughts. I wanted to return to that state of slumber—at least there I could ignore her. His eyes were knowing, almost sorrowful when I looked back at them. He shook his head and diverted his glance to Carlisle. The patriarch awkwardly focused on the wall of windows as Edward's intense emotions were too much for even him to handle.

They debated. They conjectured. They even googled their hypothesis. And eventually I ended up sitting at the head of the dinning room table—alone. No. I wasn't alone. That damn human was here. She made me look at his face. It was peaceful in an odd way. I wondered if it was better for him this way—if the death of his daughter would have robbed him of life anyway. The human used my fingers to smooth back a lock of curly hair from his brow.

She was losing her stamina. My argument was airtight. But I couldn't stop my hand from running through his hair. I stroked my fingers through it again and again—long pale fingers through dark thick strands. My fingers would appear and then dive below the darkness to escape from my view only to reappear in a fluid motion.

I knew that he was watching me. He may be the mind reader, but I was connected to him in a way that told me his every thought too. He was worried. He knew that I was going to lose this fight eventually. I was stubborn—but so was she. I wondered if mourning him would bring any reconciliation between the two sides of my brain. My fingers fell below the dark current again.

I was entranced by the motion—I don't know how long. I had stopped registering the sounds of their discussion. I could feel Edward's electric charge close to me eventually but he did not disturb my moving hand. I imagined that I was wiping away the years of torment- Stroking away the layers of guilt. Washing his body in preparation for his journey into the afterlife—to a place where I could never follow. Could vampires die?

I was trapped in that thought when they came in. I vaguely heard the noise of the various voices. I ignored the overwhelming scents as they bombarded my nose. I hoped that Edward would warn them to let me deal with this untouched—for just a moment longer. I was lost in the motion again.

Until I was jerked out of the trance but two tiny cold arms grabbing me in a vice like hug.

"Hi Bella," the elfin owner of the arms trilled. Her beautiful little face was glowing in pleasure and her golden eyes were dancing as she looked at my startled expression. I noticed that the room was darker than before—night had fallen. I offered a shaky smile at what I assumed was one of my new sisters. From behind me I could hear Edward's warning growl.

The pixie sized vampire released me as she rolled her eyes. "I'm Alice." She said as she turned to join the big blond vampire leaning against the back of the couch. I noticed the rest of them then. The caramel-brunette in Carlisle's embrace and the BIG guy with dark curly hair with his arm around the most gorgeous blond woman I had ever seen. They were all appraising me with a mixture of acceptance and weariness.

Edward growled from behind me again.

My hand was frozen mid stroke in the dead man's hair. Edward came to sit on the floor in front of my chair. He was a buffer between me and the rest of our family.

"Hi," I offered shyly without making any other motion. "I'm Bella."


	7. Chapter 7: The Good The Bad &The Rosalie

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

To sleep, our chance to dream... What does our subconscious hide from us? Like the hulking shadow in the horror movie- what secrets are lurking in the recesses of our minds? Waiting to pounce when we are vulnerable- waiting to suck us into the nightmare of self-realization. Can we fight ourselves while lost in the oblivion of slumber? Can we find absolution from trying?

**Answer: **

Chapter 7: The Cullen family or The Good, the Bad and the Rosalie

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV (Cullen house)**

I sat on the counter in the kitchen- appraising her with a wide grin. She was absolutely perfect- just like in my vision.

Jazzy was busy evaluating her moods. She was very well controlled for a newborn. I giggled slightly as I remembered my days of reckless desire. Jazzy scowled at me as my emotions suddenly became more dominant in the room. The fact that he was there at the moment of my rebirth- and so damn irresistible- and _so_ good at hunting... I sighed. His scowl deepened.

I was washed in a wave of relaxation, meant to reduce my rampant lust for my mate and to stop distracting him. I winked and he shook his head. Languid was not that different from satisfied.

I laughed out loud as Edward came around the corner and caught my stray daydream of the many different applications of Jazzy's prowess. Edward's face was disgruntled. He was always disgruntled. I had hoped that what I saw him doing with my new sister in the woods would have loosened him up- at least where sex was concerned.

"Shut up Alice," he said as he joined me on the counter. I stuck my tongue out. He tried to elbow me but I saw it coming before he moved. I danced off the counter and twirled to face him.

I was vibrating up and down with excitement. "Can I dress her?" I asked without thinking it first. Edward looked annoyed. He was always annoyed.

"She's not some life size doll for you to play with Alice." He growled. I smiled as I watched the protectiveness shine through his eyes. I was proud of my big brother. Finally he understood what we had all been trying to tell him for years. I always knew there was a lovesick kitten hiding beneath that rough exterior.

He launched off the counter at me and snarled as he tore through the pantry door. _Boys_! Why did they all insist that they could pull one over on the clairvoyant? "Its not that we believe we can," Edward growled as he shook the remains of the door from his hair. "It's that we wouldn't want to miss the opportunity if it were to arise. You know," he said crossing his arms and scowling at me. He was always scowling at me. "For such a little creature, you are massively annoying."

Jasper laughed as he came up behind our brother. He slapped Edward on the shoulder- nodding in agreement. I let that one slide. Today was about Bella. I could retaliate later.

Edward thumped my ear, as I was lost in the vision of how I would seek my revenge. "Gottcha," he whispered- snickering.

I humphed and joined Esme on the couch- she was wiping scuffs marks, left by a size ten dress shoe, off the coffee table. I winked at Carlisle out of the corner of my eye and he smiled. Rose was sitting in Em's lap on the other side of Esme. Rose was tense—Emmett was perfectly at ease with his new sister. Esme was itching to go to the child and embrace her as a daughter. But Bella stood with her back to the door and eyes wider than the room full of vampires.

I had to admit, it was probably a creepy sight. We were quite the Adamses- complete with a vicious kitty that lived under the stairs. Edward growled as he entered the room. He walked straight to Bella. He placed himself at her side, half turned as a buffer between her body and the family.

I laughed. Everyone looked at me as they always did—annoyed and nervous. "Look," I said smiling. "I don't have to be a psychic to know that we all need to talk. Bella," she turned her head to meet my gaze. She had a subtle hint of panic in the depths of her eyes. Curious. "I'm sure you have questions. And I'm sure you haven't been given the riot act yet?" I threw a glance at Edward and Carlisle. Their sheepish expressions told me more than Edward's mind reading would tell him. _They'd been busy_.

"First things first," Carlisle offered. He turned to Bella, that grave compassion stretching his face with ancient sadness. "Bella, we are going to have to… dispose of the body. Is there anything you want… a ceremony… service… time alone to say goodbye?" Bella's face was stone, her eyes cold. She shook her head slowly from side to side once and turned to bury her face in Edward's chest. Carlisle nodded and waved over Jasper and Emmett to help him get the incinerator in the basement ready for Charlie's body.

It was strange I don't remember ever meeting the town's police chief, but I felt oddly sad at losing the opportunity to get to know him. I was certain we would have been good friends. I saw the Edward wanted to help in the ceremony—he wanted to honor his love's father. I flitted over by his side and touched his arm. _It's okay. She'll be fine. I'll take care of her while you're away_. He nodded. After a gentle kiss to Bella's forehead and a long conversation in her eyes, he went to the table and lifted the body. Edward carried the dead man's body down the stairs with immense respect. I watched Bella covertly as we stood in the entryway. I hoped that she honestly appreciated the gift that was Edward.

Obnoxiously annoying he may be, but desperately loyal and eternally good he was to the core. I watched my little sister's face as she watched him. There was a look of gratitude, and adoration shining in her eyes meant only for Edward. I supposed that we would all come to appreciate her the same way we did him. Bella seemed to be the most sincere of us all.

I caught a glimpse of an image of the two of us locked in a friendly embrace. We were smiling- the bond of sisterly love screaming from the scene. I smiled and took Bella's hand in reassurance. She smiled.

She was perfectly at ease with my casual touch- I wondered what of her human life she brought with her. We had only glimpses of our pasts. Most human memories simply melted away with the fire of the venom. But Bella had a look in her eyes- one that every now and then belied an almost fear of the situation she found herself in. It was curious.

We stood there for a short while. No one speaking, no one moving. Occasionally Rose would huff her annoyance but we just waited. The boys all returned to the room and the scent of burned flesh was a fresh layer in the air.

I wrinkled my nose as Edward came in. His scent was the most saturated with the ash—he must have refused to share the burden. I squeezed Bella's hand. In my mind I saw Edward going to the piano as I lead Bella to the couch. So that's what I did. I caught a peek of Edward's face as we passed—he was thankful for the distraction. The days' events were catching up with him.

Bella didn't struggle against my hand as I pulled her to the couch and placed her between Esme and myself. Esme kept her distance. She offered Bella a warm smile and crossed her hands to rein in the desire to hug her new daughter. "Hello, Bella." She said warm as the sun.

Carlisle sat on the back of the couch with his hand on Esme's shoulder. Em came to sit under Rose again. And Jazzy stood by the windows—he never would outgrow his military heritage.

I scanned the room and shook my head. "Alright," I turned to my baby sister with a fierce scowl. "What would you like to know?"

Bella's eyes were wide and apprehensive all over again.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV**

It was a lot to take in. I pretty much had names with faces down as soon as I met them. But as they flowed in to the room, I fled to the door. For some odd reason I was battling with that damn human again. In fact, I was growing to identify more and more with her thoughts and I was losing touch with my own… or were they both me… I was confused.

Edward left me to talk to Carlisle in private. The short one with spiky hair—Alice, she watched me with a serpent's smile on her tiny lips. The big blond—Alice's companion, Jasper, he glared at me with a look of intensity that was pushing me closer to the door. The huge one—Emmett, he just smiled at me and turned on the TV. While he watched football the unbelievably gorgeous blond rested on his lap—that one had to be Rosalie. She would only move to scowl at me and then turn back to watching the game with Emmett. The kind one—Esme, I felt a pull towards her like I knew that she would protect me and care for me. Like she was my mother.

They were all my family. I could feel that radiating from their bodies to mine. I could sense that they were not threats and I was accepted in the way that they casually went about their lives. And I could smell that same essence in me, the mark of the Cullen, in all of them. This is where I belonged. But I was disappearing the longer the human was allowed to be alone in my head. I wanted to go hide with Edward. I wanted to pick up where we left off in the forest before I found the human in me. I wanted to just lie down and fall asleep—I was so tired.

Edward came in and put his arms around me. I breathed deep of his fresh scent. It soothed me. He soothed me. Everything was always right with Edward around.

When Alice started asking me questions, I wasn't in complete control of my facilities—I kind of relied on Edward to think and react for me. Carlisle was talking now—asking me about getting rid of the body. Dad's body. I was trapped in the cold body—locked in the stony cold embrace. I shook my head once from side to side and returned to the security of Edward's scent. I could feel tension in Edward's body. I planted a soft kiss on his shirt to try and ease whatever strain was causing him pain.

Then I felt Alice standing behind me. Edward pulled back and placed a tender kiss on my forehead. I knew then that he was going to help get rid of Charlie. I bit my bottom lip—like I had always done in moments of stress. I watched as my reason for living picked up my dad with extreme care and respect. I was so thankful for Edward. He could have let someone else take care of it—he could have treated Charlie like just some dead body. But he didn't. He treated him with the admiration and regard that was worthy of such an honorable and good man as Charlie Swan.

Edward and my dad disappeared. I knew the exact second that Charlie was gone. Edward was not in my sight. The human fell silent in my mind. And Alice's tiny hand slipped in to mine. I looked down at the hand. The desolation that had gripped me and tortured me into a personality disjointing seemed like a bad dream. I looked up at Alice, with a clear mind, and smiled. I was suddenly hopeful and anxious to get to know my vampire family and to come to know more about myself.

Alice mentioned something about a riot act?

Edward came back into the room but did not come to me. I felt the anguish in my stomach as it tormented him and exuded from the electric charge between us. I let Alice lead me to the sofa because I didn't want to cause Edward anymore pain.

I sat between Alice and Esme. Esme seemed ready to burst with the need to hug me. I was suddenly fighting an urge to do the same thing. I believed that I was someone who just had to have a passionate bond with my mother.

"Alright," Alice said looking serious and hard. "What would you like to know?" It was an impossible question to answer. I wanted to know everything and yet I wanted to understand it all—was there even enough time to cover everything I had missed in the last hundred years?

I shrugged. I didn't even know where to begin. Alice laughed.

"Let's start with Carlisle." I liked that idea—my father was intriguing. I wanted to know everything about him almost as much as I did Edward. "Carlisle lived over three hundred years ago," Alice stopped at looked over her shoulder at our father. "Would you prefer to spin the tale?" Alice asked. Carlisle laughed and just shook his head. I had a feeling Alice usually got her way. "His father was a man of worship and he forced his son to aid him in… carrying on the torch." Alice's grin was one of irony. "He was sent to hunt 'demons' and on one such occasion, he was changed in to one him self. It wasn't a fate that Carlisle desired, but it was one that he embraced. The man who changed him was one of our ancients." I shook my head. My vampire brain was quick and I could recall perfectly everything she said. But I didn't get it.

Emmett huffed without looking away from the game. "You're telling it wrong. You should start with the Five. Start with the history." Alice hissed. Emmett growled and it was Rosalie's turn to sigh.

"Do we all have to be present for the history lesson?" She had the most beautiful expression on her face as she complained. Esme glared at her and turned back to me with her gentle smile.

"I apologize, they weren't raised by wolves." The entire room chuckled at that expression. I raised my eyebrows. "Maybe we should start with the wolves?" She said turning to Carlisle. He shook his head.

"The Five is probably the best place." He offered.

Jasper was silent by the windows—taking in the scene and monitoring everyone's mood. Occasionally I would feel a little bit calmer than I meant to feel and I would wonder if it was his doing. Alice growled as everyone debated where to begin. The voices were a blur and the discussion was going nowhere. Then suddenly the soft chords of the lullaby that Edward had hummed in the meadow were drifting from a piano in the entryway. I turned to see Edward seated in front of the instrument. The room was silenced by the music. "Let Alice tell the story." He said quietly. "Alice, start with the Five. And the cliff notes version should suffice."

Alice sighed and continued. I turned to face her. My hand was still clutched in hers unconsciously—like she was surrogate for my lack of Edward connection. "None of us know how long vampires have been around. But there are five who stood at the steps of the pyramids to have pharaohs bow to their divinity. These five devised the Vampire Order and seek to keep the peace while documenting our history. Three of them, Marcus, Cauis, and Aro, were bestowed with the responsibility of time—how our kind exists in it, what we are to the world, how we must adapt and survive. They are the keeps of the guard—the enforcement of our laws. They are known as the Volturi. Italians…" She smiled to hide a grimace, but failed. I got the feeling that I would not like meeting these Volturi—that it would not be a good thing to have to meet them.

"Yes," she said seeing my worries in my eyes. "The Volturi are ruthless. They are absolute in their rules and their justice is swift. The guard is made up of selected members. Most of the soldiers are chosen for their abilities…" She diverted her eyes and briefly watched the game that Emmett was no longer paying attention to. Suddenly I was aware that the entire room was looking at me—all except for Edward who remained focus on playing the lullaby on the piano. I knew what she wasn't saying. We would have to fear the Volturi more than most with four gifted members in our family. And I was one of the bearers of such a gift. I would be sought eventually by these soldiers.

Alice nodded. "Tell her about the woman." Rosalie complained. Alice hissed again. She obviously didn't want to be interrupted.

"I was just getting to her," she spat. "One of the five, Illilyana, the only woman ancient, was graced with the duty of giving the gift of this life to the chosen." I wasn't sure I understood what that meant. Alice caught that too. "She was able to bite someone without killing them—she was a vampire mother. She gave humans a second life when theirs were over. Of course her position diminished as in time some of our kind learned the discipline to change another—Like Carlisle did. But the bloodlust was too strong for most and the royal mother was sought when a new member of the race was selected for the change. She was killed by wolves during the great massacre…"

Again I was totally confused. Alice sighed—every time she started to tell me something it just lead to more questions. But Alice wasn't the one who answered this unspoken question—this time it was Jasper who finally spoke. "We vampires are not completely invincible. We have but one enemy outside of those of our own kind that might seek to destroy us. Wolves—werewolves specifically, are our mortal enemies. Call it natural order- call it some ultimate check and balance, but these creatures selected themselves as the natural opposition to our kind. It began that only a few nomads were picked off by mysteriously huge wolves in remote lands.

Then 2,000 years ago they launched a cleansing of the evil from the earth- The great massacre. It was genocide and the few of our race who survived ran to the farthest corners of this world. Some of us, like me, were created to be soldiers in the war to stop the wolves. We trained for one purpose—to kill wolves. Their numbers were not nearly as defeated like ours. They had warning of an enemy but the guard eventually intervened and since the wolves had human lives and human families that they wanted to keep safe, they soon stop enticing the vampires out of the dark. It was a torturing time for our race—it saw the loss of an ancient, the mother of all who came before, and it forced big covens to break apart and become nomadic- destroying centuries of civilization and cultivation of our world and sent our race back into the dark ages. Vampires changed humans and did not care to teach them the laws of our kind—vampires truly became the monsters that the wolves feared. It's why wolves are so unappetizing to our pallet. Bad blood." As he finished, he shrugged and went back to looking over his shoulder out the windows.

The room was quiet for a long time—except for the piano. It was like Edward was giving me silent support with the lull of the song. I was suddenly even more exhausted than before.

Alice pressed on. "The last of the five, the one that changed Carlisle, Erebos was the guardian of the night. He still roams the darkness keeping our secrets and guiding our future. He sought a companion to remind him what the daylight was and why it was worth protecting. Why humans should not be extinguished, or forced to live under our rule. He was darkness looking for the light.

You know, probably as well as all of us, that no light shines brighter than Carlisle." I nodded. I peeked at my father and noticed that he looked severely uncomfortable with the statement. I tried to hide my giggle. I think, if vampires could, he would have been blushing scarlet over his face and neck.

"Carlisle describes the time as fascinating. It was almost a hundred years of self discovery and debates of ethics, morals and the quest of the human soul." She shook my arms like Zeus calling the thunder from the heavens. I laughed.

"But, Carlisle did suffer afflictions to the vampire nature. He refused to hunt humans. And that put a strain on his relationship with his father. Erebos tolerated it for a time, viewing it as the counter point to his vision of mankind. And when Carlisle decided to leave him, he mourned the loss but did not fight it. Carlisle had taught the embodiment of darkness to love—was that not proof that we were still joined to the human world."

I shook her head. The wheels were turning behind my eyes. I realized that the venom had brought with it not only a change of my physical body but it took me into a world that expanded my universe. The human constructs of history and time were extended into a world more vast and wondrous than any human mind could comprehend. But that human mind was dormant—for the moment.

"So, Carlisle is alone. He is a vampire with rules to live by and yet, he is a soul of a human with extraordinary abilities. He doesn't appreciate idleness. And he wanted to employ these heightened facilities to the greatest level of assistance to the human plight. How better to assert a preservation of human life than to save it from death.

He studied medicine and took jobs in hospitals where he could help protect the life that his body craved to destroy. It was in a hospital, in Chicago 1918, that he met Edward… and his mother." My eyes grew wide at the mention of Edward's mother. Alice was watching me closely with a guarded expression. At the mention of Chicago 1918, the music stopped. He said nothing. Alice looked anxiously over my shoulder but felt encouraged to continue. I could feel the tension in the room. Even Jasper couldn't calm the emotions that swirled around this chance encounter.

"Elizabeth Masen died of a rare disease that attacked her nervous system and eventually her mind. It had possessed her every move—poisoned her every thought. She was driven insane with a desperation to protect her son. And when it gripped her hard enough to drain her body of life, it forced her hand to almost end Edward's."

The room was silent again. No music. No breaths. Just my wide eyes and my blood filled vision of a mother trying to hurt her son.

"Go on Alice," I prompted. She was lost in a memory. I placed gentle hands on her cheeks to coax her out of her revelry. I met her eyes—proud to call her my sister. She could not hide the sadness as she continued. "She was driven mad. I don't think it an excuse for a mother to attack her son. But she was not in control." My hands froze against her cheeks. My breath stopped and my eyes were sharp with hate. She took my hands in hers and continued. "Elizabeth had a vision for her son," A hollow laugh escaped her lips. "Almost like the visions I have for him now. She believed Edward was destined for a great future- To be a president, or just a great man. She spent every ounce of her energy before and after she fell ill to ensure the survival of that dream.

But Edward was a young man—facing a war that he felt a duty to serve in, facing a fatherless household that needed to be provide for and facing a future of caring for a sickly mother who was ravaged with mental illness. He despised every fiber in his body to do it, but Edward had to check her into the clinic when she started to mutilate her own body in the insanity induced episodes." I looked at the piano and noticed that Edward had left the room. I looked back at Alice. I understood that I wasn't getting the cliff notes version anymore.

"She was a patient in Carlisle's ward for a week. He was strangely drawn to Elizabeth—she had Edward's captivating beauty. And the depth of maternal emotion that haunted her eyes called to that forgotten soul in Carlisle's chest. He didn't meet Edward until that last night."

"Stop Alice," a quiet velvet voice stated, invisible at the stairway. She shook her head a look of concentration on her face told me she was telling him something in her head.

"She's the only one I've ever wanted to tell this story to. Besides," his voice was thick with emotions and hard with confidence. "I have a theory." I didn't know what I missed. But I could guess that Edward wanted to tell me the rest in private. I was sleepy at the thought.

Alice's face was contorted with effort again.

"I trust her." He spoke quietly. He was standing in front me, looking down in to my worshiping eyes. I expect that he was looking to find pity in my eyes. But I was just concerned. I wanted to just take him in her arms and love him. I was… exhausted.

"Okay," Alice said softly. She released my hand. As I moved to follow Edward I threw arms around her shoulders and buried my face in her neck.

"Thank you, Alice." I breathed and kissed her cheek like the true sister she was. She patted my head and turned to leave. Edward led me upstairs.

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV**

_Be careful. I don't know how this will end_. I threw at him as they left the room. Edward shook his head. He saw that I could see them asleep—but I couldn't see past that. I didn't know what would happen if he forced them to face his nightmares of that awful night.

I joined Jasper by the windows. I was soothed in a wave of peace and love as he drew me into his embrace. I buried my face in his chest—inhaling his scent to calm my mind. He kissed my forehead—the connection of his skin to mine made the pulse of his emotions feel like my own. I was swimming in the provocative stimulation of his desires. My lips caressed his and as his tongue entered my mouth we were both exploding in euphoria.

"Oh, brother!" The bitchy blond whined. "You two can learn to do it in privacy like the rest of us!" I smiled against my lover's lips. Like Rose had any right to be annoyed with the sexual exploits of anyone. I sighed in contentment when Jasper pulled away.

"Shall we hunt?" He asked. I nodded. The vision of Edward and Bella asleep in their room was as solid as ever. I needed a distraction until they returned. I couldn't see them waking up…. _Yet_- And it would drive me crazy until I did.

I followed Jasper over the river.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV**

My head was spinning.

"This is our room." He told her as we reached a single door at the top of the third flight of stairs. The room was spacious and practically empty. Edward had few possessions. Some music. Some books. But not mush else. I scanned the room with wide scarlet eyes.

"Where's the bed?" I asked looking around like I might have missed something so huge in the open room. I was tired.

"No need for one." He said simply. "Do you like music?" He asked. He did his best Vanna and swept his hand across the rows of CDs, tapes, and LPs that I imagined he coveted almost as much as he did me. I marveled at the collection that spanned over eighty years of history.

"Are you musician?" I asked while fingering the compositions that were fading with age. It made me sad to think that I knew so little about him.

Edward sighed and held his hand out to me. We sat on the carpet in the center of the room. He sat next to me—not touching. He stared out the giant window at the back of the room. I was already very much aware of what his theory would be. He was going to have me take us under so that he could show me the night his mother attacked him.

I didn't believe I needed to know anymore about this Elizabeth Masen. I was thankful that Edward could not read my mind as I was consumed with the relief that this woman was already dead—if she weren't I would be half way to Chicago by now to kill her myself. It was a bloodlust that made everything stain in hews of crimson. How dare she threaten my mate? How dare she let the sickness ruin her love for him? How dare a mother try to destroy her child?

"I composed my first symphony when I was eight." Edward's voice was quiet. Calm. Emotionless. "My parents were so proud. It was…" He laughed lightly. "Not as perfect as they deemed it, but the fact that their darling boy had accomplished something so… impressive was perfect to them." He unconsciously took my hand between his two. He sat facing away from me as he spoke.

His eyes were lost in the past as they stared unseeing at the forest. "My father used to have me sit at the piano for hours, convinced that I could always do better. He died when I was ten… I stopped playing after that. I couldn't hear the music anymore." He searched my eyes with a curious expression of pain. It called to that deplorable human in me. For a moment she had shut up and was paying attention to him. I put my other hand on his face. I was suddenly growing very tired.

"I don't remember too many human thoughts- Just the ones about the music… When my mother got sick, she'd beg me to play. And I would. Hollow, empty, pathetic versions of the melodies that had filled our lives when my father was alive. But it made her smile to hear me play." His eyes were heavy and sad as they bore in to mine. "I can't ask you to face my demons with me, but," he laughed breathlessly, "I'm going to just the same." I smiled with worry in my eyes. I didn't know how to control it. I didn't know if I could control it. I was afraid of trapping Edward in his nightmares with no hope of return.

And mostly I was afraid of truly seeing what Elizabeth Masen had done to her darling son all those years ago.

"Please," he whispered. His hands drew both of mine to his chest slowly. His eyes never left my eyes. His breath was steady and slow. I could feel the heaviness settling in to my body.

Unconsciously my head nodded in submission. I needed to sleep. I was so tired. And Edward smelled so good. I brought my lips to his and kissed him softly. Our breaths mingled in the air as our mouths rested open and touching between us. This time he lay down, drawing me on top. I liked lying on Edward's chest. I was comfortable and he was warm. Our lips were still touching and he puckered his out to kiss me one last time before we started to fall into sleep.

My hands were pulsing with the heaviness—drifting us into slumber. Edward moaned as his eyes grew heavy. I watched as his face relaxed and his head fell back from mine to collapse on the ground. His face was so peaceful. So beautiful. I stole one hand from his chest and stroked his purple eye lids—smoothed the length of his straight nose and caressed his warm soft lips. I planted one last sweet kiss to those lips as the sleep settled over my features. My face landed sharply against his neck as I passed out.

**A/N: Erebos—Mythological Greek God who was the personification of darkness. Appropriate name for an ancient vampire, no?**


	8. Chapter 8: When the music stopped

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

What is happiness? Is the absence of pain the most literal feeling of being happy? Can we appreciate the emotion of pleasure if we've never been tortured by the feeling of hell? Is there such a thing as a naturally happy person?

**Answer:**

Chapter 8: Destiny or When the music stopped

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (dream sequence)**

When I was a child I used to sit in the cellar of my family's home during the daylight hours. I preferred to be in darkness. I shut out the harsh rays of light—the songs of the birds diminished the symphony of the music.

Music was always around me. My mother would hum me to sleep. My father would whistle as he read the paper. Our dog's tail would thump against the floor in a rhythm like a drum—steady and strong. I was always moved by the music—like I was the only one who could hear it.

The melody was loudest in the dark. With nothing to distract me, I could be alive in the music. The darkness underground was full of song. The rats with their scratching claws were in harmony with the wind blowing through the cracks in the wood. My breath was a bass—slow and even.

I was alive in the music.

Then one day the music stopped.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Dream Sequence part 1)**

**Chicago 1901 **

Bella was standing on the other side of the room when I was aware we were dreaming. This jumping into one's subconscious was confusing and disorienting to say the least. I recognized the room—it was my mother's in our home in Chicago. The bed was bigger than I remembered and the walls were not as run down as they had been in those last few years. It was strange—the human memories that I had thought forgotten for so many years, were easy to access when in Bella's dream world. Like Bella had during our love making, I could see through the entire span of my life. I could see my childhood. I could see my parents. I could see the music. So many memories. So many images.

And they were so real.

Bella stood—an observer. I motioned for her to join me but she shook her head with hollow eyes. So, I would be alone in this. That was fair. It was despicable enough that I forced her to bring us here in the first place.

I had thought it a mercy for the last eighty years—that I could not dream. An eternity with regrets and nightmares is almost more horrifying than feeling the urge to eat humans. The one memory I kept in my mind was the night I died. For nearly a century I could see the look in my mother's eyes. I could feel the pain of knowing that I had failed her. I could see what true evil was.

Until I met Bella, I had no desire to share that moment. Carlisle had been present so I couldn't hide it from him and eventually I had confessed the story to each of the members of my family. But Bella was the first person I ever wanted to _share_ it with. I knew I could trust her with my darkness. Or at least I knew I needed to be able to trust her. If Bella rejected me because of this moment—then I truly was a monster.

I heard a scream from the bed. My father entered the room—a look of worry and immense joy mixed on his face. _My father_. Edward Anthony Masen Senior. I hadn't seen him since the day we buried him in the earth. He looked... good- young, hopeful, healthy. I would have wept at the sight of him had I the ability.

The scream came again from the bed. I followed my father with my eyes to the enormous cherry wood four-post bed. I saw my mother lying in the center. Her body was bent- she was preparing to give birth. I looked away as she screamed again in the grip of labor. I glared at Bella. I understood that she was new at this but I had no desire to watch my own birth. I wanted to go to the moment of my death.

_This is important_. Her voice whispered in my head. Her hollow eyes were focused on the broken woman's body in the bed. I turned back to see a child emerging from her body- I should have been in awe, the miracle of birth was an awesome sight, but I was mostly disgusted. I hadn't been able to enjoy seeing Bella's body naked- it made me disgruntled that my mother's was the first I would see _that_ naked. The nurse took the little body- _me_ and washed him off with a towel.

As the blood was cleansed from the skin, I noticed that the baby wasn't moving. "It's a boy," the doctor said. My father and mother were happy- together they whispered the name _Edward_. But as the nurse wiped away the last of the fluids it was obvious that the child was not alive. My dead heart froze anew.

Who was this dead baby? My mother screamed again. I watched in horror as another child was born from her womb. I had a brother- one that died at birth? I searched Bella's empty eyes. This was too real. Too confusing. She just continued to watch the still form on the dresser beside me.

"Another boy," The doctor announced. The nurse had not been able to give anyone the news about the stillborn first son. _Anthony_- my parents spoke in unison. The joy was bursting from their quiet voices. This child did not cry either. He was covered in even more blood than the Edward child had been. The nurse didn't even take the time to wash him. She just screamed. She crossed herself and fled the room.

The doctor and my parents were finally aware of the tragedy at her outburst. My mother's face was frozen in horror. My father's eyes were glassy and vacant. The doctor came to examine the twins. Both still and lifeless- one pure and white the other drenched in crimson blood. Both innocent and new and both completely denied any sort of life. The doctor touched Anthony first—he lay bloody on the left side of the dresser. The baby's head turned away from us as if to request an honorable death. I could hear my mother's sobs, as the infant was pronounced truly gone.

The doctor made no motion to even touch the white child, lying on the right. He was born first and had had a longer time to come to life- he was the lost cause. My father helped the doctor wrap Anthony in a white sheet. The angel prepared for his journey to heaven. When Anthony was gone and my father brought a second sheet over for Edward- a true miracle happened.

Without being given any stimulus other than a determination to not die- Edward took a deep breath.

I felt my lungs gasp for a full breath as the child drew in his first. I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath until that moment. Edward's eyes- vibrantly green- popped open. He made no sound. But he stared above him as if he were seeing something more than the doctor's shocked face. His little hands balled in to fists as if to battle some invisible force. This child was fighting to stay in this world. He refused to let death claim him.

The doctor examined him-he was perfect. My father wrapped him in the blanket not for a removal from this world, but as a celebration of his arrival. His face was covered in tears as he brought the boy to his mother. Her sobs were still deep but now a brightness highlighted her eyes. She drew the child in to her arms with a reverence. Her hold warded off danger- she would protect this child with her every breath. She leaned down to kiss his forehead, drawing in his sweet scent as she smiled.

"My little Edward, you will have a great destiny." The child watched her face with a severity that was unnatural for a newborn. He seemed to not only understand her words but to feel a promise in them.

In the corner of the room, the doctor picked up Anthony's forgotten corpse and left the rejoicing family in peace.

Bella was suddenly in front of me. I knew what she would say but I couldn't fathom any truth to the words. This was not a story my parents had ever shared with me. It was not a memory that I wanted to have tainting my past. "This was important." She said- her voice as resoundingly empty as her eyes. "This was the first time that you died." The words hung in the air as cold and lifeless as my forgotten brother.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(dream sequence part 2)**

**Chicago 1911**

The walls of the house blurred around us as Bella put her hands on my chest and looked up into my eyes. I wanted to watch the dizzying journey- it was intriguing to stand in the middle of this impossible moment- But I couldn't look away from Bella's eyes. The emptiness was gone. The scarlet depths, which were growing black with thirst, looked concerned and loving as they gazed up at me. It was so Bella- we were trapped in a life altering moment of discovery and unbelievable insight and she was acting like we were standing alone in our meadow. It made me smile.

She smiled at me in return as the journey ended. I was released from her trance as she looked around the new room. I was annoyed yet again- this still was not the hospital on the night that I died.

Bella looked back at me when I thought that. It was like she was the mind reader in this world. "I am." She said simply. My mouth closed with a snap. My mind went blank. She laughed. "This moment is important too," she continued without more prompting. "Part of you died this day."

I heard the sound of the piano then. The music was drifting up the stairs and in to the room. We were in my parent's bedroom again- but it was later in time now, closer to the last time that I had physically stood in this room in real life. I listened to the notes hanging in the air. I was frozen again.

"I don't want to be here." It was too much. I had just wanted to share the darkest moment in my life with Bella. I had no desire to watch my father die all over again. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want Bella to see it.

She took my hand. She looked over her shoulder at the bed. I gripped her fingers tightly with my own. I had been glad to lose this memory. "Edward…" The gravelly voice called from the bed. I couldn't move any closer to see him. The accident at the mill had mutilated my father's body. His face was ripped apart and his arm was torn off. They sent him home to slowly die for over a month. He'd lie in his bed, listening to me practice playing the music.

I was a terrified little eleven-year-old boy again. My eyes were wet with tears and my muscles were seized in anguish. I looked down at Bella and realized we were the same height. I looked at my hands- they were no longer pale and cold but pink and youthful. My face must have been shocked when I looked back at her but Bella's eyes were hollow and distant again.

"Edward…" The voice called again. I was tortured by the realization that I wouldn't be spared this moment. There was no other image of myself that would come running into the room and take my place. I was powerless against the pull to go to his side. The tears were already flowing down my cheeks as he came into view.

His face was sallow and taut- near death. My stomach turned as I watch the pulse of blood under the thin membrane of the ravaged side of his face. I could smell the blood- cooper and salt. It made me want to vomit. It was making my head feel dizzy. I tried to focus past the disgustingness of reality and just look him in the eyes. It had been almost a hundred years since I had the opportunity to look into my father's eyes.

"Do the right thing, son," he said in a strained whisper. I nodded in response. I would always do the right thing. I valued his respect more than anything. I would always make him proud. "Take care of your mother, Edward. She is your responsibility now." I nodded again. I would take my father's place by my mother's side. She would want for nothing. "I'll be watching you, son. Don't fail your path. Follow your heart. Seize your destiny." I nodded one last time. I braced myself for the end.

My father's chest heaved and he rose up from the force of his cough. The blood was draining in to his lungs- it was coming up with the hacking. His sheets were splattered with the crimson drops as he began choking on the fluid. His eyes were glassy and detached when he fell back on to the bed. I heard my mother scream behind me.

"Edward," she said rushing to my side and pulling me in to her arms. I should have been crying. But I was just numb. I tried to banish the sight as thoroughly as the venom had when I was changed. I didn't want to see him dead like that for another hundred years. "You shouldn't have come up here alone, my son. You should be playing your music." My mother's eyes drifted behind me. She smoothed the pain from her face and forced a smile at me. "You know how papa likes to hear you play. Play us something now, please." She put her hand against my cheek. Tender. Warm. Loving. I nodded. Still too numb to do anything else.

I walked out of the room and sat at my piano at the bottom of the stairs. My ears were drowning in silence. I searched the darkness- nothing. I opened my mouth to scream- no sound. I strained to hear my mother's cries. Silence. I listened for the wind, the thump of a heart- the scratch of the trees against the windows. Nothing. I could no longer hear the music.

I put my fingers on the keys impassively. It was like I was a puppet being controlled but not caring that I wasn't in charge. I did what my mother asked. I played. The notes were no more than pictures on the page. The sound that came from the wooden instrument was just noise. There was no melody, no emotion, no life- _no music_.

Bella's arms wound around my shoulders from behind. I continued to play- a zombie chained to this one task. I felt Bella's lips against my neck. They were so cold, so much firmer than my own translucent human skin. I wanted to be afraid of her. I wanted to just _feel_ any emotion- then the sound would have meaning again. But I was just lost in the motion.

She turned my head to hers and kissed my lips. My heart beat full in my chest. My ears opened wide and the symphony rushed in like a gust of air to drowning lungs. My lips grew cold to match hers. My skin grew stone and my mind cleared. When I pulled back, I could hear the music, I could see Bella's eyes shining in love and I could tell that we were finally at the moment of reckoning in my life.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(dream sequence part 3)**

**Chicago 1918**

She was lying on the sterile grey bed in the emergency room. She would be moved to the psyche ward once her wounds healed. They were festering sores that seemed to deny the healing process.

I watched the seventeen year old version of my self pace the tiny room with anxiety. This last episode had been the worst. Bella was present with me during this memory. She held my hand and I heard her intake of breath as she looked at my mother's scarred and bleeding body.

She had taken a razor blade to her flesh. For three years she had suffered mentally debilitating episodes. At first she had found her self wondering around the backyard with no knowledge of how she got there. Then she started arguing with people when she remembered a situation differently than they had. But in the last four months of her life she became dangerous.

Mostly she just inflicted the injuries on herself. She would cut her arm with a knife because she would forget why she was holding it. She would cut the hair from her scalp until her flesh was bleeding from cutting too deep.

At first I had thought it just an affect of the illness. She was not in control of her mind. But that night she confessed, as I pleaded with her to give me the razor and to stop cutting herself, it was because the blood called to _him_. At the time I was a terrified seventeen year old boy who just wanted to make his mother stop hurting herself. I saw her run the blade once, twice, three times through the same cut—the blood pouring from the groove.

I still didn't know who she was talking about, but after eighty years of contemplation, I was sure she was talking about a vampire. Whether the monster did this to her or was just one of the many aids in her delusions I would never know. But her wounds were an open defiance of the laws of nature. She willed them to never heal—so that the blood could call to _him_.

I cringed as I watched her struggle against the restraints—making a fresh stream of blood flow into her palms.

"Calm down, mother" the younger me begged. She thrashed on her bed. I remember feeling an urge to cross myself against her—she looked truly possessed.

"Come back…don't let him fail…" She moaned in a hoarse broken voice. "Come back…don't let Edward fail…" Her head thrashed back on forth on the pillow.

"Mother…" The voice of my younger self was breathless in dread as he laid his hands on her cheeks.

Her red eyes flashed open. "I'll kill you!" She shrieked. Bella's hand locked harder around mine. I was gripped in the terror shining in my former self's eyes.

"You took him from me! You don't belong here! I HATE YOU!" Her voice was high and haunting. I backed away and put Bella between myself and the memory. It was too real.

With unimaginable force, my mother's dying left arm broke through her restraint and clawed for my younger self's face. Her nails dug deeper than the razor blade to tear his flesh from his bone. Blood ran down his neck as he cried out in pain. _I could hear Carlisle coming running down the hall_.

My mother's arm locked around his neck and pulled his body to her face. She pulled back her lips and bit his throat as hard as she could. His screams were agony. And she was too weak to survive the moment of strength. She started spurting and coughing as his blood rushed in to her mouth. She drowned in the flow and when she collapsed back on the bed—his dying body slid on to the floor.

I stayed motionless and drained as I watched my mother's eyes roll back in her head. She strangled on the blood just as my little brother and my father had. Bella fell to her knees to watch the other dying form. She was in as much agony as the dying boy. I looked down to see the youth's eyes meet hers—his face grew calm and serene as he watched her devotional eyes. _She was an angel to me always._

Carlisle came bursting in to the room. I was focused on his face—intent on watching his movements—Bella was distracted by something behind me. Her face was cautious and focused. I turned to see the door closing. Nothing was there.

Carlisle whispered a promise to save the boy in his ear and suddenly the venom fire was torching his skin. My former self cried out in anguish as everything went black.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (Cullen house)**

We woke up with a start. I was getting better at the transition. I could tell Edward was just as disoriented as before. He was shaking under me- Like he was a caged animal ready to snap. I put my hands on his face to soothe him. That didn't help.

"NO!" He bellowed and leapt to his feet. He crouched down and stared at me- fear was dominant on his features.

I moved to touch him again and he sprang away- closer to the open window. "Don't touch me!" His voice was a whip lashing out at my hands. I pulled them back to my chest as if they had been struck. I searched his eyes with pain in mine. That made his face grow even more distraught.

Without another word he turned and jumped out of the window. I followed. What else would I do? I didn't belong downstairs with the family without Edward by my side. I no longer belonged in the world of humans because Edward was not a part of that world. I couldn't exist anywhere but with Edward.

I gave him a wide berth as I trailed him through the trees. He was heading to a meadow. It was very familiar. I recognized it as I rounded the final tree. It was the meadow where Edward had fought his invisible demons- the one where I had joined him and calmed his pain. _Appropriate_. I would let no other outcome occur today than the one that we had had that day.

It was strange- my mind was in two places at once. I suddenly realized that I had not physically ever been here before. I couldn't remember getting here or leaving- just seeing Edward and helping him. The other part of my mind- the one that I had tapped into during our dreams was well aware of the hows and whys. When the venom altered my mind- it ignited my gift and I was automatically sent to Edward, since he was the only thought in my mind. This talent would have to be studied. I looked at my hands- hoping this was a solid reality that we were in now. It was, according to that gifted part of my brain...

"Have we been here before?" I asked randomly. Edward was pulled from his agony long enough to look confused. Confused was better than in pain. He shook his head.

"I have- you haven't." He seemed pretty confident about it. I ignored the need to explain the line of questioning to him and pressed on unthinking about his torment.

"What were you doing here the last time?" I asked. I was scowling as the two halves of my mind tried to make sense of it. I had come here in a dream- but I was not physically here. Nor was I physically touching Edward before I started dreaming...

"I..." His face scrunched as he thought about how to explain it. "Your blood, was like a drug to me... I... kind of fell in to hallucinations after I ate you. I ended up here because I knew it would be secluded." His eyes were lost in hurt again.

"And was I... here? Did I appear here to you?" I asked, again showing little remorse for the moment he was trying to have. I needed this answered before I could support him in his depression.

His face was suddenly empty and his eyes were flat like he was remembering it at the sound of my words. He looked a little spooked by the fact that I was so spot on.

"And did we..." I nodded my head to the side and shifted my eyes. It might be easy to feel like vixen in his arms but sex was still not something I was comfortable discussing.

"Yes." He whispered. My eyes flashed back to his face. _How_? He mouthed.

I sighed. At least one part of my mind was pretty confident she understood. I let her do the talking. "I think I can project in to unconscious minds. You said yours was hallucinating. I must have been able to enter your vision. It happened at about the same moment that my body was changed. I don't think I was in control of what I was doing- just thinking of you and then I was here." I waved my hand to the luscious greenery. The meadow was truly beautiful.

"You are impossibly fascinating." He said simply. I looked back at him apprehensive. I didn't like being on display. And Edward was looking at me with wide awestruck eyes. It made me nervous. I shifted under her stare- wringing my hands together. At least he wasn't tearing himself up anymore. I could sacrifice my pride for that.

"That's why I'm such a monster." _Damn_. That didn't last very long.

"You don't see your self very well you know." He glared at me like I was a child who just couldn't comprehend what he was telling me. "I don't care what you say," I pressed. "You are just as impressive as me and far more precious to this world." He laughed- a snarling, angry sound. "You are!"

"I'm a monster Bella!" He bellowed. He fell to his knees- his hair gripped in his hands tightly. His face was contorted in that desperate look that I knew all too well. He was trying to cry.

A strangled yell tore from his chest. It made my chest feel like someone had struck me with a sledgehammer. I jumped as he screamed again. I joined him on the ground. I didn't care that he cowered away from me like a beat dog. His face was hidden from me as he searched the ground for absolution. His breaths were baited. I put my hands on his cheeks.

I sat as still as the trees and waited for him to come back to me.

Eventually he calmed but he could not move his face to meet my eyes. "Edward, you are my angel." His laugh was a hiss, full of self-loathing. "You saved me. You are my reason for living. Please don't deny me that truth by considering yourself the greatest evil on earth. There are worse things than you."

He shook his bowed head. "You're wrong, my love. I am some dark creature that should have died at birth." I didn't like where his thoughts were leading him. I hadn't been fully in control as we journeyed through his mind today- but I knew that what we saw had to be seen. I sat- waiting for his return. He would not disappoint me.

"I killed my brother in the womb- looked death in the face and gave up my shot at heaven. I cursed my parents with my very existence. My mother could never have another child. My father was hurt working at his second job that he had to take to pay for my music lessons. My mother went insane because I couldn't take care of her. And you..." His tortured eyes finally looked up at me.

The red depths were growing darker now- almost black. He looked thirsty. He looked haunted as he searched my eyes for that same absolution. "I killed you. The most precious thing in my universe." His hand was shaky as it rested against my cheek. "I poison everything I touch."

"I'm not dead, Edward. You didn't end my life- you gave me a reason to live it." Again he laughed hollow and sarcastic.

"This creature that I have forced you to become is not a _life_ Bella. You are in love with an ideal now, but soon that human conscience of yours will tear you down. You either become a wild animal or you become a trapped soul in this body." I stared at him with wide eyes.

The human was listening intently to this speech. The vampire was weary of letting his rant continue. I was only four days old. I didn't want to be a full-grown vampire yet- why couldn't everyone just let me enjoy it a little while longer.

Edward's eyes were grave, as he seemed to read my mind. He nodded. "See, I can see her there." He pointed at my eyes. "She's peeking out—she'll make you understand. There's a reason we gave up hunting humans Bella, and it's not because animals are easier to catch. Sooner or latter, it will catch up with you too. Then maybe you will let me suffer in peace." He spat.

Edward turned away from me. He was on his feet- a stalking lion. He paced back and forth with great control and power. He was growling as he moved. "Do you know what I turned you into, Bella?" His voice was velvet and menacing.

I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck bristle at his movements and words. He was baiting me- Challenging me. A feral instinct was bubbling up in my chest. I growled in response- Everything in the meadow was washing in red. I turned to face him- rising on to the balls of my feet and pulled my lips back from my razor sharp teeth.

"Do you feel it?" He crouched down. He was almost giddy with the anticipation of the fight. My muscles were tingling with the promise of exertion. I could feel a strength building in me that was exciting to embrace. I hissed as he put his hands on the ground between us. He was preparing to strike. My reflexes were heightened I was already planning my defense.

He sprang- fast as a cheetah, strong as an ox. But I was younger, and stronger. I threw him off of me before he could attack. Then the bloodlust peeked and I was advancing on him. Animalistic howls and snarls of rage were torn from both of our lips as we lunged and blocked in the fading glow of Twilight. It was a dance of poetic bestiality. We were everywhere at once and though I craved his defeat like the taste of human blood- we were never able to injure each other.

He caught my hands when I leapt on to his back. The fight was over. He had me pinned under him with my hands above my head. His face was stone. His eyes were knowing and dark. I was excited on every level.

The thrill of the battle was making everything in my body pulse and the feel of Edward on top of me was making my skin buzz. He pressed my hands further in to the earth when I didn't fully submit. I was breathless as I raised my head and my eyebrows in defiance. He pushed me down harder. His eyes were wild- completely black.

I could feel he was not unaffected by this too. I raised my leg and suggestively rubbed his inner thigh to his waist. His eyes got a wicked glean in them but his face remained unchanged. He pressed me harder into the earth.

I smiled- a wicked sparkle in my eyes too. If I submitted to him now- I would only get exactly what I wanted. I was satisfied by that thought, since technically that still meant I was in control.

I let my head fall back and I offered him my neck in surrender. I was so crazed with anticipation that I half screamed half grunted when his lips finally touched my flesh. He groaned into my throat.

Our electricity was snapping in the air. I could feel a pulse beating in my chest.

"I'm such a monster." His voice was breathless and husky. He didn't release my hands as he started working over every inch of exposed fleshed on my neck- my face, my chin, and my ears. He kissed his way across my collarbones- thrusting his tongue out occasionally to cause my insides to seize and a whimper of compliance to cry from my lips. I was his. Whatever he wanted I would do. I would not resist.

His hands left mine, but I did not move a muscle. He was in control. When he wanted me to move, he would move me. His hands tore my clothing away. I bit my lip as his dominance made feel even more alive. He focused on my breasts. They were his- it was all his. I arched my back to present the offering. I moaned as his wicked tongue marked every inch of my naked flesh.

By the time he removed the rest of my clothes I was drifting in my own hallucinatory state. The air was on fire- my skin was throbbing like an electrical current was being generated in my chest. His tongue was possessive and lethal. I rode the waves of pleasure as he explored every part of my body. Eventually I became primal with need for him. He entered me and for a fleeting second I was ashamed that I had not returned the favor and loved first him. But then we were moving and I was beyond the ability to think.

I took his tongue into my mouth as I took every part of him in to my body. Our movements were driving faster and more frantic. He took my hands in his once more and pressed them back in to the ground above my head. I cried out as my body released and he joined me moments later.

My head fell back as he collapsed on top of me. We were satiated. His lips were caressing my neck as I tried to catch my breath. I wound my hands into his hair.

"I love you." My voice rang clear and strong in the fading light. His lips stopped.

He raised his face to look at me. His eyes were wondrous. The look of pain was driven completely from his features. His lips turned up in a radiant smile. He was so beautiful. I caressed the nape of his neck while I stared up at him with the same look of awe.

"You're the first person to ever say that to me." He admitted. I looked deep in to his eyes. It was the truth. How strange.

"Your parents loved you," I prompted—he nodded in agreement. "Carlisle and Esme love you," I continued. He brought his hands down to touch and smooth the skin along my neck and cheeks. He was dazzling as he adored me. "Alice loves you." He laughed—his midnight eyes bore in to mine with a substantial intensity.

"But you are the first to ever tell me." He stroked his index finger across my eager lips. "I like how it sounds." His brows furrowed as he was lost in thought. He leaned down and kissed my lips—biting my top lip as he pulled back. He was far enough back to look me in the eyes but our lips were barely touching.

Our scents mingled in the air as I drowned in his worshiping eyes. "I love you." He pronounced like a knight swearing his allegiance to his king. He kissed that spot above my heart where he had drawn my blood and sealed my fate—a fate I welcomed with open arms.

"Well," he lifted his head, his glittering smile blinding my vision from seeing anything but Edward. He patiently waited for me to finish. "I think I'll call you Grover from now on." I smirked as he quirked his brow in response.

I giggled. "Didn't you ever watch Sesame Street? Or are the Cullens too good for public television?" He looked at the ground as he tried to figure out who Grover was. "He's the lovable monster who lives on next door to Big Bird."

He growled at my words and viciously tickled my sides until I was writhing in laughter and begging for mercy. He laughed along with me and the weight of the day's events seemed to dissipate. He smoothed the hair back from my face and whispered he loved me—I returned the motion.

He started humming my lullaby absent mindedly—like he could hear the song in the love flowing between us. We lay their gazing in to each other's soul for a long while. Knowing that from here on out—we would face each challenge together. And together we could survive anything.


	9. Chapter 9: All Cullen men are whipped

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

Contentment: (also called complacence) is the neuro-physiological experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation. The calm before the storm.

**Answer:**

Chapter 9: Happy in this new life or All Cullen Men Are Whipped

**\/Darkside\/**

**EmPOV (two months later- hunting- forest Northern California)**

I laughed as my little sister spit out the blood- _again_. Bella wasn't enjoying the Cullen style of hunting. Edward huffed _again_ like a daddy trying to force-feed his daughter squashed peas. Bella made a gagging sound and stuck out her tongue. That sent me into roaring laughter once more.

_Told you she_'_d hate it_! I chuckled. Edward scowled but didn't waste his time with acknowledging my thought. The enormous black bear made a second swipe at Bella and she rolled her eyes as she stepped forward and snapped his neck. She sighed when the giant body hit the ground. Edward folded his arms over his chest and stared down at her from the slight hillside.

I was practically in fits of giggles when she stomped her foot and shook her head. She was such a newborn!

Edward growled- at his defiant mate, or at me _who knew_! But he was frustrated with everything these days.

Edward wanted everything for Bella to run smoothly- be perfect. Load-o-bull I say! Nothing was ever easy with endless amount of potential and the enforcement of immediate restraint. Edward knew that better than anyone!

Now, for me, it wasn't hard being a newborn. I tried the animal thing in the day for Carlisle and the family Cullen- but at night I'd slip here and there- Never any big epidemic like a certain mightier than thou older brother. But I wasn't plagued with the torture that Carlisle and Edward insisted locking themselves in. They regarded my extra curricular activities as _heinous_. I snorted. The only person whose opinion mattered to me was Rosalie and Rose didn't give a crap how many humans I ate from my midnight snackage.

Course Rose didn't give a crap about much these days. She'd been so mopey since Bella's arrival that I was worried we'd never get back to my other favorite sinful hobby. And lately when she did fool around- it was more aggressive and angry than passionate. Don't get me wrong- dominating hate sex was fun... and _GOOD_. But she never told me what was wrong. I didn't have Carlisle's patience to talk to her, or Jasper's ability to soothe her. And though Edward could read Rose's mind, he couldn't read Bella's. I didn't have whatever talent he used to make sure she was never pissy with him the way Rose was with me. I didn't possess any sixth sense of how to deal with girlie problems.

"BELLA!" Edward bellowed and I caught the scent of the human in the distance as I saw the tall white blur streak after the littler one. Seemed like a waste to me. He didn't even smell that good. But then I had been at this longer than my little sister. I only ate humans now with my yearly free pass. I had saved the last five years up- the next one I ate would have to be a damn singer.

Rose crouched at that top of the hill staring down at me with a vacant expression. Then she turned to see Edward dragging Bella back to the bear. I chuckled again- with Bella things sure as hell weren't boring!

"I told you this was too close to the town!" He hollered at me. I shrugged.

_Best place for bears_.

"Grow up Emmett."

_Take her somewhere else. Since when do you HAVE to hunt with the rest of us?_ He snarled. _Yeah, I know_.

It wasn't fair to expect Edward to go this alone. We all had help from the family when we came on board. Bella wasn't any different. That's not true- she was completely different just in strange ways. Like how she was so calm and reserved all of the time. I'm just now kind of getting the hang of that and I'm fifty years older than her. Or how she makes everyone so comfy and sleepy when she's not keeping tabs on her ability. It wasn't like when Jasper made you feel calm. It was different, like reverting back to being a human and actually feeling _tired_. It was creepy. And it was the reason I was hardly around the family anymore- Rose hated Bella messing with her body. I could sneak in to watch a game, and we could hang out when Bella was off _exploring_ with Edward or playing with Alice. But Rose harbored no affinity to our new sister and her gift.

She had practiced on everyone else. Alice said it tingled. Jasper was in awe of having his body affected that way. Esme found it endearing. And Carlisle and Edward were regular Freud and Jung- fascinated and dedicated to studying the poor girl. There were only two Cullens that refused the test- Rose and me. Rose because she hissed whenever Bella even looked at her- And me because I hated the idea of giving up so much control.

Hell, Edward hasn't even been able to talk about what he'd seen when they went under that first time. We all knew, Bella told us, but he'd just get paler and turn away without talking about it. I shook my head as I caught the scent- _Grizzly_. I didn't have any desire to face my nightmares. I was pretty happy with just enjoying life. Screw the melodrama. Blow off the worries. We were strong and we were never going to die- what more could you ask for.

Rose disappeared to follow the scent of the brown bear in the north. I sighed. She didn't even wave goodbye. It was going to be a _fun_ night- wild sex. But sometime after she finished having her way with me and I was getting dressed like the cheap tramp that I was, I might have to admit that she was damaging my cool.

I gave Edward a break. _See you man_! He nodded and I followed the trail of the Grizzly to the east. I snickered as I heard Bella whining behind me. I think I heard the stomping foot again. _Nice_.

I slowed my pace when I found his trail. It took me straight back—every time. Maybe that's why Esme and Alice adored Bella's talent so much- they liked remembering what it was like to be human. I didn't need some circus trick to remind me. I heard the husky grunt as my prey shoved the small tree out his path.

My lips pulled back from my pearly white razor blades dripping with venom. Grizzly was my favorite. The last time the human me met one of these big brutes, he didn't walk away. So there was a narcissistic delight that I got from hunting them now. _That_- and I just liked the Grizzlies approach to life. Get up. Eat. Enjoy. Shove a tree now and then. And their style of fight suited me too. You didn't have to do any of that stalking strategic following bullshit that Edward enjoyed from hunting mountain lions. Bears just stood up and fought.

_Hell YES_! I growled a fair warning for the fight to begin. _DING_! He stood up- probably a good eight to ten feet. _Not bad_. I bared my teeth in a snarl as he returned the action. My hands were iron claws. My eyes were lethal slits.

He ambled towards me. He was a solid son of bitch. His massive paw swiped out- tearing across my chest. _Awe, DAMN! Rose gave me this shirt_. I looked down at my unmarred chest. The little boy wicked grin spread across my face- casting that twinkle in my eye. I had had one hell of a mess of blood and guts when that grizzly struck me in my former life. Now, I laughed as my opponent cuddled his claw to his own chest and howled in pain.

It was all too easy. I let him lunge for my head and neck with his enormous mouth. I laughed hard and sharp as I heard his jaw snap off when it connected with my stone skin. It almost made me sad. It would be a nice change to actually have a challenge once and a while. I butted the beast in the head and sent him sailing ten feet in the air. When he landed he was still fighting to stay alive. _Tough_. You had to admire the Grizzly. He didn't just lie down and die.

I launched myself at his throat and tore through the thick layers of fur and fat to release my prize. His groans of struggle were mixed with a fast gurgle and then he was dead.

_Good game_. I thought. He was big and there was a good amount to drink. I would still be thirsty- we were always thirsty. But I just smiled as I pulled in his warm fluids. Let's see- that makes it the Grizzlies- 1 and Emmett- 215. No, I would never understand Carlisle and Edward's Emo depression over this life. It was freakin' sweet to me.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV**

I glared at him as handed me the dead fox. I turned my face away with a sigh and said nothing. I wasn't some three year old who needed her daddy to hunt for her. I was trying. I knew it would be hard. I knew that I was tempted because I had something to compare this subsidiary food source to. But the way he watched over me was so damn annoying.

I loved that Edward was attentive- especially now that we were embracing our sexual relationship on a more regular basis. And I loved that I was his entire world- nothing else matter but him to me. But I couldn't piss on the pot if I was always being watched!

I wanted to fall flat on my face- I was used to that. When I was Bella Swan, falling was like breathing. It was my method for learning. But Edward was always there to catch me. It was sweet, but it made me want to punch him at the same time.

I knew that it was just Edward's nature to protect what he loved, and I had seen ever part of Edward's nature in the past two months of my new life. I didn't want to anger him- push him away and make him feel like the degenerate that he believed he was. That would only undo the careful steps that I had taken since that night in the meadow. I knew after we experienced his darkness that I would have to help Edward get over his past. I had to work on some way to slap the snot out of him and get him out of that hundred-year funk that he hid behind. I had covertly been working on changing him in subtle ways.

He confessed that he could hear my thoughts when we were physical- I used that to my advantage. I washed him in thoughts of his goodness and how important he was to my life. As a result our lovemaking was more than distracting. I think I could almost see Emmett blush when he'd see Edward and I returning from our days of absence in the woods. We all had euphemism for the incidents of overwhelming lust- Alice and Jasper called it _mood regulating_. Carlisle and Esme called it _poetry readings_. Rose and Em called it _wrestling with their demons_. And Edward and I called it _exploring_. To an outside observer noting the length of time that was devoted to these hobbies- it didn't seem like we were talking about having sex. But vampires didn't need to stop doing anything if they didn't want to. And once we Cullens got going- usually didn't want to stop.

I ignored him when he touched my arm in the way that made me melt. I had told him fifty times every minute since that night that I loved him- and it always made him smile. I couldn't believe that he had spent a century caring for people with the ferocity that he had inside of him and not one of them had said the words. It was easy to understand, to me, why Edward had such a negative vision of himself. But I would force him to look through my eyes.

He smoothed his fingers up and down my naked arm and I suppressed a moan. _Damn him_. No matter how confident I grew in holding my own, he was always more seductive. I was imagining us naked in our meadow. He laughed. He could hear my thoughts. I sighed pulled away again. Without skin-to-skin contact it didn't matter if I was randy or not, he couldn't hear what I was thinking. And as I contemplated my next move I didn't want him having the upper hand.

Edward didn't realize that I was taking him under the last couple of weeks. I had practiced with the family- Alice and I were becoming a machine at it. I could take them in- control the dreams or help them see their pasts. I could also project an astral version of myself- but the mind had to be out of control at the time. So I had practiced with Alice while she hunted- that worked pretty well. Extreme emotional surges that caused the mind and body to detach gave me an in. All I had to do was think about that person while their mind was disconnected. Of course I made the mistake of thinking of Carlisle one morning while he and Esme were enjoying a round of _Robert Frost_ in their bedroom. _Awkward_. I had had a hard time looking my father and mother in the eye for a while after that event. I still hadn't worked up the nerve to ask Edward to try what I saw them doing.

So, with my training I had perfected the transition with more finesse. And my lover didn't know that he was falling asleep in the middle of our explorations. In truth- I could make the dream more real than reality. Down to the scent of the purple flowers that bloomed in the meadow and the sounds of my thoughts in his head when he touched me. But I could control Edward when I was in his mind like that. I could make him forget his worries. When we'd lie in each other's arms between bouts of passion he would talk with no inhibitions. He wasn't repulsed when we discussed his rebellion- he was actually very animated and excited as he described his removal of the vile creatures that stalked innocents in the night.

He would laugh and we would love and when I would bring him out of the other world he would raise his head with a severely satisfied look on his face. I didn't know if it would change anything. And the first time I did it he really didn't seem any different apart from the goofy grin he wore all day. But slowly I would notice that he mentioned his evil less. He focused on the things that made him happy- made our union happy. And though he would still get that pang of guilt in his eyes when he spoke of his past, he no longer hid it away like it was a festering sore. I truly believed he was healing. I was even cocky about it.

Of course the unfortunate side affect was how our bond had grown from the exchange. We were obsessed enough with each other before but now I saw him everywhere. I knew how intoxicating hearing my thoughts were for him because I could read his mind in that other consciousness. I spent every minute wondering what he was thinking. I was driven crazy by just looking at his lips or hearing his voice. And he was so fixated on my every breath that sometimes I wished that I could just be alone. Then he would leave the room and I would be devastated in darkness without him. Edward once told me that my blood was like a drug to him- well we were both hopeless junkies now.

But hunting was not improved by my midnight musings. And Edward was almost as stubborn as me when it came to arguing his point. I simply wondered why we couldn't drink donated blood. It was human. It was not killing. Edward's defense was that it was meant to save humans and by us drinking it we denied them aid. He didn't like it when I pointed out that it did save their life if I drank from a plastic tube rather than their neck. He was going to force the human out of hiding one way or another.

I laughed at the errant thought. The human had been silenced in me since the night I let Edward claim me. I could still hear her every now and then- mostly in the back of my mind when we were lost in Edward's fantasies. She liked just lying in Edward's arms- talking and dreaming with the man we were both now thoroughly in love with. But she still cowered away from our reflection in the mirror in our bedroom- especially afraid of the eyes. They were more of an amber color now, not fully diluted to the honey golden shade of my family's eyes. But she was silenced. I didn't hear her scream inside my mind anymore- no longer haunted by the forgotten father who everyone in Forks believed had left town with his daughter suddenly one day. I wouldn't admit it to Edward but she was occasionally tortured by the casualness with which I approached hunting. I scoffed as I remembered the guilt in her plea for me to stop- had anyone ever shamed her out of eating a pop tart when she was ravenous.

"Bella _please_…" Edward said in that persuasive tone that made my stomach squeeze. _Damn_- we had stopped three times on the way down here to... _explore_. At some point even vampires had to reach a limit- right.

Edward turned me to face him and launch the full-blown attack- golden intense eyes of seduction. _Damn_. "For me. _Please_…" How did he do that? I could make his entire world become a fantasy. I could just picture us in some other place and time and we would be there. But I couldn't fathom how he did _that_ to _me_. I couldn't even describe what _that_ was. But he did it. And he did it well.

My mind went blank and I nodded in total complacency. I took the dead animal from his hands and drank the blood. It was warm and wet and the satisfaction ended there. It wasn't enough but usually after the first kill of the hunt I was pretty willing to continue with the secondary source. It was really disgusting, from one point of view, but I had only drank the blood of my mortal father- and yet it was the sweetest blood I would ever drink. I imagined that that was the flavor in my mouth as I gave in and drank my fill of the bear that I had killed. His blood was starting to cool, but it was still flowing and wet. The itchy thirst was calmed for another few weeks.

Edward waited for me to finish. He took my hand in his and together we hunted a herd of deer that we could hear to the east. We crossed Emmett's scent in the middle of the forest. I could hear his booming laugh as he wrestled with the Grizzly. _Emmett_! He would never let that last fight go.

We chased the deer and I landed two bucks while Edward finished off the rest of the group. I liked finishing before Edward. I liked to watch him feed. I think even the human had to admit that it was erotically fascinating to experience. He was so strong- so sure. He dominated every move, leaving his prey inescapable in his grasp. It was exciting. And I was excited. The thrill of the hunt- the surge of the blood and the promise of Edward's skin tingling next to mine. Hunting always lead to only one thing for me and my mate- _exploring_.

He rose from his last kill, one single drop of blood marring his perfect pale lips.

He smiled with lust-hooded eyes.

**\/Darkside\/**

**RPOV**

I pulled my hair back into a lose bun while I waited for the bear to stop struggling. I held its neck under my steel foot. I would never understand Emmett and his need to fight any of these creatures. It just messed up your hair.

I caught the scent of Edward's new bitch running through the woods, her servant at her heels. It was point of fact- _ALL CULLEN MEN WERE WHIPPED_. And I had to begrudgingly admit that the new succubus caught on to that trick very quickly. But my admiration for her ended there.

Edward was the only one of them that hated this life more than me. And everyday for sixty years I had been satisfied by the look of desolation on his face. No matter how much I missed my human self, or how much I wished to have a child in my arms that I had given birth to, I could look in Edward's eyes and see that he was still suffering more than me.

It was a sadistic consolation but I embraced it just the same. And now he had something that made him happier than that little sugar coated pixie. I played the good little Cullen because everything about being a vampire repulsed me and this life that we created was as close as our kind got to being human. But I didn't have to be nice about it. Carlisle could roll his eyes all he wanted when I left the room upon Bella's entrance but he was the one who did this to me in the first place.

The bear whined beneath my foot and I pressed harder- not enough to kill her, as I wasn't done fixing my hair. Let her suffer a minute longer I didn't deserve to be alone in the grief.

I wasn't one of the adoring morons in my family who welcomed Edward's new toy and her shiny gift like it was Christmas morning. She was unimpressive at best. I didn't need her _talent_ to help me remember my life. I was a full-blooded human trapped in this vampire body. I could remember my life. I could remember my death. And I could remember the arrogant ass's face when I tore his head off for what he had done to me. After waking up with this power it was all too easy to do it- and I liked things nice and easy.

I applied the tiniest pressure with my toe and the mother bear's neck snapped. I suppressed the distaste and fed.

Emmett came over the ridge as I finished cleaning the blood from my lips. His shirt was torn to rags. His pants were covered in bracken. And his curls were dripping in wayward blood. I sighed.

"You didn't even muss your hair." He joked. His huge face pulled into that devilish childlike grin that made his two dimples pop on his cheeks. I tried to hold on to the anger.

I pulled my perfect face in to a haughty pout- seething through my eyes. His chest rumbled deep and menacing. He leaned forward into a hunting stance. His eyes were slits of fire.

_Good_. I needed to face some demons for a little while. I let my hair down in almost slow motion as a subtle command for him to do it. As if he were programmed to only do my bidding, he lunged at me- all Cullen men were whipped.

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV (Forks, same day same time, Cullen House)**

I giggled as I saw him chase her. Edward had truly found his match. Jazzy finished packing our knick-knacks and touched my arm sweetly to remind me that it was almost time to go.

I nodded- still a little lost in the beautiful image of them tangled in each other's arms. So alluring. So provocative.

"Alice," Jasper scolded. "Leave them their privacy." I could see the spike of my desire in his eyes. I tried to calm the emotion in my body to help him calm his own.

"Sorry." I said sheepishly. "They're just so cute." I smiled at him- so pleased with the addition of our new sister. Bella was just like Edward- beautiful, kind, loyal, talented, and 100% Cullen. She was quickly becoming my partner in crime and after seventy years of not having a close girlfriend, it was nice.

Jazzy smiled. He kissed the tip of my nose and then my lips. He was always so sweet. I could feel a shot of pleasure hit me when bit my lip and left the room with the last box.

I was sad that we had to leave Forks so soon. But we would have to leave before we could stage the accident that would finally put everyone at rest with the disappearance of Charlie Swan and his daughter. And it was just time.

We needed to keep moving to be always one step ahead of the watchful eye of the guard. We were far too close to a forgotten legacy of werewolves in the nearby reservation and the longer we stayed the closer the young boys of the tribe would get to being forced in to that wretched fate to fight us.

I wondered where Bella would like to go. The sky was the limit. Cullens wanted for nothing. We could forge through the snow in the Himalayas, or we could rest in the sand on the beaches of Isle Esme in South America. We could go on safari in the outback- though there was the blaring sun to worry about there. She had expressed an interest in Europe but anything that drew the four of us closer to Italy made me anxious.

I scanned ahead in the future to see but I couldn't see anything yet. Bella hadn't made up her mind. I saw darkness, and occasionally some dark alleyways but that didn't make any sense. I was troubled by a reoccurring vision of Edward lying alone in a forest- and the rest of us living in our retreat in Alaska with the Denali clan. I dismissed the images from my mind since they did not contain Bella and simply could not be true.

She was a part of this family and this life forever now. But I had a gnawing fear that I had to watch around Jazzy. I felt whatever the lying visions meant- I would know the answer soon.

I shook my head and went down to the living room. Jazzy was taking the last of the boxes out to the moving van. If all went as planned there would be a thunderstorm tonight and we could play ball one last time before we had to leave. The hunters would be back by this afternoon- providing that Bella ever stopped begging Edward to do that thing with her hair. I made a mental note of the position for reference when Jazzy and I were doing some mood regulating of our own. I thought the words and he felt the way my muscles clenched at the thought. He shook his head and chuckled as he left the room.

Carlisle was polishing the silver one last time before he packed it for shipping. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing. _All Cullen men were so whipped_.

"Hello Alice." He said smiling. I smiled. Esme came in handing him a book of poems and kissed his cheek. He went back to buffing her spoons to a radiant shine. _Yep, that's why they were so apt to be our slaves_.

Poems, demons, moods and explorations- vampire sex was awesome no matter what you named it.

Jazzy slapped my butt as he walked by. Esme disappeared up the stairs and I tried to ignore the vision I got of Carlisle bringing the poetry back into the bedroom.

I followed Jasper to that place just past the river- where we liked to be alone. I sat in his lap, gazing in to his eyes. I ran my hand through his hair. He did all the work. I was happy. I was content. I was giddy. And feeling me in such a good mood put him in one too. We kissed gently. Patient. Just happy to be in each other's arms.

He laid me down and my mind was filled with visions of him. I could see where he would touch me before he did. The anticipation of his touch was almost more stimulating than the actual contact. And then as I grew more aroused he could feel my pleasure as his own.

It was tremendous- overwhelming- perfect.

But in the back of my mind while I drifted back down in his arms- I could see the darkness in Bella's future. It worried me.

Jazzy lifted his head to look deep in my eyes at my moment of weakness. He felt my worry. A clap of thunder rolled in the distance.

A storm was coming.


	10. Chapter 10: Can we play?

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

When you were a child did it seem strange to question things? Did the world just make sense? When something intrigued you were you able to ignore it simply by being told to.

**Answer:**

Chapter 10: Storm on the horizon or Can we play

**\/Darkside\/**

**CPOV (Forks, Cullen baseball field, day of moving)**

The thunder rolled in building waves before shaking the earth around us. Vampires could hear for miles. The thunder was stronger in our ears the closer it got. But the beauty was that only one part of our vast minds had to pay any attention to the sound.

I leveled my daughter with a stern look as I pointed to left field with my bat. Alice was merciless with her curve balls but I had yet to miss one. I watched in slow motion as Alice wound up and released the ball. Any human would have missed the sight in the blink of their eye- but I followed the small white object with complete accuracy. When the ball was exactly where I wanted it, I swung.

There was another clap of thunder- this time created by the force of my bat hitting the ball. I laughed and took off for first base. The trajectory of the hit was sending the ball directly at my youngest daughter in left field and my only hope was that her pattern of dodge then throw would still be in effect.

Bella wasn't sold on the idea of vampire baseball yet. Edward was watching her out of the corner of his eye. He was covering right field and first and second base. I laughed again as Bella's head flew in to her hands to block the blow of the ball. The ball fell at her feet as I rounded second. Edward was bellowing for her to get with the program. I saw Emmett run over to retrieve the ball. He didn't waste any time throwing it.

_Ahh Emmett_. He was a hulking white streak of determination as I was heading to home. Emmett couldn't stand to win a game by one point- he preferred the TKO approach. I came to a sudden stop one step before home as Emmett, the little white ball, and his big wicked grin were standing between me and the homerun.

He reached the ball out and touched it to my chest, condescendingly. "Tag," he joked.

I sighed and went to take his place out in centerfield. I looked over at Bella. She seemed to be fine. In my position I was caught between her and her ever-worrying mate. Edward kept casting nervous glances at Bella so frequently that I was actually surprised to see him catch Esme's hit. He shook his head when she offered to let him bat. He didn't want to be distracted.

_What?_. I thought.

He shook his head slowly but didn't move his eyes from Bella.

Strange_. Is she all right?_ I asked. They seemed fine when the hunting party returned in the early evening light. In fact Edward and Bella had spent the entire time just staring in to each other's eyes. They were loathed to have to be separated to play the game.

Now, she looked focused on the players at home plate with an anxiety that didn't make any sense. She looked... _afraid_. Like she thought the ball could hurt her. Alice hit a fly ball straight at Bella and I flew over to catch it before Bella felt the need to duck. Strange.

I looked back at Edward. He was nodding in agreement. His eyes were severe in their trepidation. I wasn't far behind him. We had worried for the last few weeks that Bella was having... _issues_ with her gift.

Her ability was linked to her psyche and we didn't know what the strain of taking herself into the minds of others would do to her. She seemed to becoming more in touch with her inner self... her _human_ self. At first that didn't bother Edward- he hoped that it would encourage her to find more of a balance in this makeshift life that Cullens lead. But now as I watched her stand in terror of an insignificant inanimate object, I wondered.

Bella could create a reality inside your mind that seemed more real than this field we were standing in now. I had worried what that might do to her perception of reality. What was real to Bella now? I started when Edward tapped me on the shoulder. He nodded for me to take his old position. He didn't stop in centerfield- he walked straight to Bella and took her face in his hands.

Privacy was a luxury enjoyed by anyone as long as they weren't a Cullen. Alice knew our futures. Jasper could tell what kind of mood we were in. And Edward could read our thoughts. But it was the supernaturally enhanced hearing that made it impossible for one to be alone. We all focused very intently on the game- save Alice. But I could still hear what they were saying, I peeked to watch them.

"How do you feel love?" Edward whispered fiercely. Bella sighed. I could see her putting her hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"I'm fine Edward. I'm just having a human moment." I had to turn my head at that. What on earth could that mean?

I wish I hadn't looked because the fear on Edward's face was haunting as he turned to silently tell me to mind my own business. I followed his unspoken command. But I couldn't close my ears.

I could hear Edward's breath, ragged with uncertainty. I could even hear Bella's little breath as she smiled again uncharacteristically. "Bella," Edward's voice was strained. "What do you mean by a _human_ moment?" He paused. "You're not… not _human_ love…"

She laughed lightly. "_You know_... a human moment. I just... kind of..." I could tell that the more she considered it the more it was sinking in to her as well. I peeked again when I could see Edward was too engrossed in her response to notice me.

Bella's eyes were wide with panic. Her hand was now on Edward's where they gripped the sides of her face. Her breaths were coming faster. Edward stepped closer to her and blocked her from my view with his body. _Crafty son_.

I looked back at the field. The others were collecting the gear. Rosalie stood at the edge of the field with a basilisk grin. Jasper was helping Emmett put the bats back in the bag but kept fighting an urge to look at the scene to my right. Alice was standing on the pitching mound completely entranced by their conversation. She wasn't subtle about watching them at all.

I sighed. Another boom of thunder shook the forest outlining the improvised field. I walked over to Alice and stood between her and the couple. She glared up at me.

"All I see is darkness, Carlisle. I don't see them coming with us. I don't see Bella at all. She hasn't made her decision. But I'm afraid that whatever it is, it will not include us. And," her tiny voice broke, "I'm not entirely sure that it will include Edward either."

I nodded and embraced my psychic daughter to reassure her. Alice's visions had a way of seeming more threatening than they ended up being. I couldn't believe that Bella would turn away from this life. I knew that there was no force on earth that could keep Bella from Edward. Which left only two options. It would be a choice _made_ for Bella or... I couldn't finish the thought. She was so new and young- I couldn't imagine an end to that so soon. I put my hand on the back of Alice's head to comfort her. It was up to Edward and Bella to figure this out. I could still hear their conversation.

"What's wrong Edward... what's wrong with me..."

"Calm down love. I don't know. But we'll figure it out." Edward's voice was lethally calm. It was a voice that I hadn't heard in eighty years. It was the voice of the _old_ Edward- the one who was okay with ending life. The one that would be okay with killing whatever he had to in order to protect Bella. I swallowed hard against the chill running down my spine at the sound of his words.

"What is that last thing you remember to be real?" I froze. Alice lifted her head from my chest at the exact same time. Our eyes met and we turned to watch as Bella thought about Edward's question.

It was obvious that she was confused. Clear that she was now questioning everything. I was instantly remorseful- I should never have allowed the family to become so infatuated with Bella's gift. She was too young to control it. We might have pushed her too far too fast. Edward had gone schizophrenic in the first few months that he awoke to this life, and a telepathic ability.

Eventually he took to hiding in remote parts of the forest for days. Once he was away from others he could center his mind. Only by holding on to what he knew were his beliefs and his thoughts helped him to not confuse the minds of others as his own. Bella's gift was very similar. If she pushed her mind to far to help someone else believe something, she might detach her self from the true reality.

We watched as she answered. "Here," she said waving her hand around the field. "This is real. I remember hunting and loving and coming home. Then we came here. Did none of that happen?" It was strange to watch Bella speak. She used hand gestures and expressions that were foreign on her face. Yet she used them like that was her normal way of discourse.

I could tell that didn't escape Edward's notice- nor Alice's. It was like a completely different Bella was standing here with us. And yet, she was the same. The way she looked into Edward's eyes- the context of her words. It was our Bella too. Strange.

"No," Edward responded slowly. "This is all real... I suppose I should ask when... where... the last time you went under- what were you doing?" Bella's face was embarrassed. She avoided his eyes and by doing so met ours. Her mouth worked up and down without any sound. She finally looked down at the ground and shrugged her shoulders.

Edward sighed. "Bella please…" He cupped his hand under her chin to force her to look at him. "You don't have to be ashamed of anything. You can tell me… anything."

She looked up- her face was wide and guilty. "I..." she stuttered. "I've been... taking... _you_... under...during..." she shifted her eyes away and took her bottom lip between her teeth. Edward's body that was rigid with apprehension eased down as if Jasper had sent him a shot of relaxing emotions. I looked over my shoulder to see Jasper talking to Esme, completely unaware of the situation brewing in the outfield.

I turned back. Edward's entire body was almost languid now. Bella's body mirrored the response. Strange. He was running his hands through her hair and smoothing them down her cheeks and neck. She was running her little hands over his chest. She was yet another _different_ Bella.

Her eyes were hooded. Her face was... _wicked_. She pulled Edward's shirt apart and planted an open mouthed kiss on the center of his chest and drew her face up with her tongue never leaving his skin. Edward's head fell back as he closed his eyes and buried his hands in her hair. You could almost feel an electric surge in the air.

As if there exchange had truly been building into lightening, the thunder boomed in the closing distance. The sound actually made Alice and I jump. We were a little... _absorbed_ in the moment playing out in front of us. Edward and Bella were engaging in sexual intercourse right in the middle of the field as if they were alone. They were still mostly clothed but it was obvious that they did not intend to stay that way much longer.

I wondered at the fact that Edward was just as immersed in the fantasy as she was. I wondered how the change could happen so quickly. And I wondered where he learned that trick with her hair... Edward caught Bella in midair as she leapt to encircle his hips with her legs. She arched back in his arms and he followed the curve of her body with his face and lips. It was mesmerizing.

The rest of the family had joined Alice and I now and in a voyeuristic line up we all stood watching speechless. It was... surreal. It was intimate. It was making Jasper's mood shift and in turn was making us all a little too comfortable with wanting to watch more- and maybe even join in.

I cleared my throat out of politeness. It didn't faze the enthralled couple. In fact we could all feel our bodies relaxing as they did when entering Bella's dreams. I felt my legs give out under me and as my eyes started to close in heaviness I prayed that Edward fought his way out of the stupor.

Then Alice gasped and everything stopped. We all sprang to our feet. Bella was hiding behind Edward's back as he stared down his clairvoyant sister. We were all confused and anxious. Jasper put his arms around Alice from behind and glared at Edward until Edward relaxed his face.

Alice's eyes were unfocused and her breaths were coming in short hard gasps.

"They're coming."

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (Cullen baseball field, same day same time)**

Edward was buoyant and carefree as we made our way to the baseball field. I couldn't help smiling when I would look at his face. I kept pinching myself to make sure we were truly awake.

My feet felt like they weren't fully touching the ground and my spine was tingling. My skin was buzzing and the air felt warm and delicious on it. Where my hand sat clutched in his I could feel a throbbing pulse. My eyes felt like they couldn't stretch wide enough to take in the majesty of the world. My ears were drowning in a sweet symphony of music on the wind. I could hear the chords of my lullaby in every noise as it echoed in my ears. I was more than alive- _truly living_. It was like waking up from a dream where everything had been dark and hazy. Now everything was bright and clear. In my seventeen years of life, I had never felt this awake.

Edward and I were keeping up the rear on the trek since every time we stole a glance at each other we were forced to _explore_ in the nearby cover of trees. We had just no sooner finished getting dressed after our third encounter when he pulled me back against a giant fir and growled as he tore my shirt open again.

Thank god for button down jersey tops. I bit my lip to keep from screaming when he bit down on my breast. The venom stung- It was sort of masochistic but I liked the burn. I wondered how many other seventeen-year-old girls ever got the chance to explore so much of their bodies as Edward allowed me to. His lips and tongue were working on my chest in a hypnotizing way. I was lost in the many layers of the sensation. My hands were limp at my sides. It was too much for one human body to experience.

Edward pulled back when I sagged against him. My forehead flopped on to his shoulder, spent. He chuckled breathlessly and kissed my temple. "Finally had enough?" He asked. He could read my thoughts when we were like this. I focused on the almost painful ecstasy that he was making me feel. He growled again. "That won't help me stop." He warned. I raised my head from his shoulder and gazed into his golden eyes.

"I just might die from this," I threatened. He chuckled again. The smile on his face was dazzling enough to stop my heart. Something distracted me... some stray thought about my heart. I shook it off as Edward's hand on my cheek smoothed away every thought from my head.

My voice was breathless, "are we almost there?" He put my shirt back together and straightened it, nodding his head. I nodded in response and took his hand to follow the others. It was just so surreal to be feeling the things that I was feeling. It was like I was a different person since this afternoon.

I let my mind wonder back to that moment- after we finished hunting and we released. I had taken Edward under again- but this time it was completely different. This time it was a total fantasy. The laws of nature and gravity didn't apply there. We were truly free. And something happened- something tore apart inside of me that made me feel like I was in someone else's skin. Part of me felt like I was walking next to my self- that part of me was forever inside of Edward. And in turn I could feel a part of him deep inside of me—like the roots of the giant tree we had just been pressed against, Edward was wound around my soul forever. And yet another part of me felt like I was in the notes on the breeze and the scent of flowers on the ground. Nothing seemed real- and yet everything felt substantially concrete.

It was almost like I was more than human... another stray thought. Something about my words was wrong. I couldn't root it out. We were nearing the would-be home base so I dropped it. But there was a nagging grain of thought in the back of my mind that was starting to grow and block out the rays of my happiness.

"You're sure about this?" I hissed at Edward. He nodded.

"It is _the_ American pastime."

I sighed. I had hoped that we would be together longer before I was given the opportunity to showcase my world-class clumsiness. Edward put me in left field- _really_! I was sure to get hurt playing such an important position. But Edward was confident that I could hold my own.

He kissed my nose and took off like a streak of black and white to first base... Again something troubled me. Something about how the world around me was becoming more and more _paranormal_. I shook it off.

Esme was up to bat first. I watched Alice shake off the signals that Jasper was sending her from ten feet behind Esme. That couldn't be right—why so far back? What if he needed to catch the ball? At the thought of catching a ball I looked down at my naked hands. Why didn't they give me a glove? I couldn't catch anything with bare hands. I threw Edward a frantic look but he was already immersed in the game—razing his mother.

As if she shot the ball from the barrel of a gun, Alice released the tiny white blur and Esme smashed it into the outfield—directly at me. I freaked out and threw my hands over my head to soften the blow. Gym 101—duck and cover was the only way Bella Swan ever survived anything. I was so terrified that I swore I could hear the ball hit the bat like it was the thunder in the distance.

"Bella!" Edward was calling. Emmett was standing in front of me tossing the ball up and catching it in his non gloved hands. He was wearing a patronizing smirk on his face. Okay, he was a boy- maybe their hands were just tougher. And obviously he was very coordinated—no one would ever make the mistake of calling me graceful.

He threw the ball back to Alice. She was staring at me with an odd expression—like her eyes were going unfocused. That nagging grain grew bigger. I smoothed my non-sweaty hands down my pants. Jasper was up to bat.

The thunder was booming louder. It made me even more nervous. Jasper was glaring at me as he waited for Alice to strike. There was another clap of thunder and suddenly the white blur was streaking for my face again.

I hit the dirt on all fours and prayed it hit anything but my head. I had suffered too many concussions in my life. I would probably start losing my memory if I got any more. The ball landed a foot in front of me and rolled into Emmett's waiting hands. I peeked up to see the smirk erased from the enormous face—his eyes were curious as he watched me now.

I shrugged it off and brushed off the dirt from my knees while Carlisle did an impression of Babe Ruth at the plate. Then I froze, he pointed his bat straight at me in left field. _Crap_. Edward's family really had it in for me… what was wrong with those words… family… whose family.

Thunder. Ball. Hands. Face.

Edward bellowed at me again. I was feeling so inadequate. And yet something in the back of my mind was screaming that I was more than capable. Carlisle traded places with Emmett and I focused on watching Esme up at bat. I could feel Carlisle and Edward's eyes on my face.

Why wasn't I blushing… I could feel the embarrassment. I bit my lip and waited for the inevitable fly ball to left field. A mercy—she hit a pop straight above first. I watched in amazement as Edward caught it without even looking at it. His eyes were boring in to me—and he caught the 30 mile an hour hit with bare hands like it was nothing…. nag… nag… nag… my mind was spinning.

I was so lost in thought that when Alice's fly snagged to the left I just froze. Carlisle was suddenly in front of me to catch it. He was looking at me when Edward tapped him on the shoulder and traded positions with him.

Edward didn't stay in centerfield- he just walked straight over to me. His hands were like ice… No, they should have felt like they were ice…. nag… nag… nag.

"How do you feel love?" Edward's voice was worried. I sighed. It was strange that there was a tickle of fear in my stomach as I reached my hand up to caress his cheek—it was like I was afraid to feel his skin, like I thought it was _other_ than mine.

"I'm fine Edward," I tired to think of how to explain my neurosis. I was you're your average klutzy teenager. "I'm just having a human moment." What on earth made me say that? Why those words.

Edward turned his head as if having a silent conversation with someone behind him. He looked scared. I smiled and laughed lightly, what was there to worry about? "Bella," Edward's voice was tight. "What do you mean by a _human_ moment?" He paused. That seed was starting to grow again. Why did he stress the word _human_… "You're not…" Not what? "Not _human_ love…"

I laughed again, out of an almost desperate psychosis to ignore the threat of the total melt down in my mind. "_You know_... a human moment. I just... kind of..." That seed grew and popped like the kernels in a jiffy pop tin.

My eyes were filled with horror. My hands moved as if some other mind was controlling them—I wanted to run away from the creature in front of me, but my body grabbed at his hands as if he was the only thing that was safe. I couldn't catch my breath as he stepped closer to me. When he did, he cut off my sight of anything but him.

Something snapped inside my head again. Like looking through a cheese cloth—I was staring up at my love's face, but that damn human was screaming all around me.

The clouds roared above us.

"What's wrong Edward... what's wrong with me..." I was fighting like that little baby in Edward's past. Something was threatening to send me back in to the recesses of my mind. I searched his eyes for peace.

"Calm down love. I don't know. But we'll figure it out." Everything seemed to slow at those words—not because of what he said but how he said it. It was like I was sitting in that biology room again. I could see the monster that was stalking me in the trees. I could feel the pain in my chest as I died.

I tried to hide the panic. The human wouldn't win this round. I clutched Edward's hand tighter to my skin. _Please let the connection keep me here. I couldn't be without him_. That truly would be insanity.

"What is that last thing you remember to be real?" I could do this. Yes, he was going to walk me through it—keep me focused. _Good thinking_.

It was very hard to follow the memory though. Everything seemed crystal clear until that moment in the forest when I felt my mind snap. From that moment on it was like I was walking through someone else's mind. And at thinking that, I was falling back as an observer again.

I answered but the human spoke. "Here," She said waving our hand around the field. "This is real. I remember hunting and loving and coming home. Then we came here. Did none of that happen?" The words tasted like bile in my mouth and my face felt like it was contorting in to strange features. I wanted to scream at Edward to slap her out of me. I prayed that I was shining through the eyes—_he could see me in the eyes, right?_

I could see the subtle way Edward's face grew graver. I could tell that he knew he was talking to a different Bella. _Please help me!_ I begged silently.

"No," I was confused and had to back track to remember what the human had said. She asked was this moment real. Edward responded slowly. "This is all real... I suppose I should ask when... where... the last time you went under- what were you doing?" That question drew me back up to the surface. Of course, the human would chicken out when it came to admitting our experiment with Edward's memories. I shifted my eyes and caught a sight of Carlisle and Alice staring at us with an intensity that was unsettling.

Alice's eyes were glazed over again—a vision. I looked down to collect myself. How did you explain to the person who trusts you most in this world that you are betraying them?

Edward sighed. "Bella please…" He cupped his hand under my chin to tilt my face up to his. "You don't have to be ashamed of anything. You can tell me… anything."

There he went undermining my nerve again. I stupidly answered. "I... I've been... taking... _you_... under...during..." I looked away again and the human bit our lip. At the mention of our sexual encounters another part of my mind pushed forward.

This was the minx that pulled Edward aside every five seconds to enjoy the way he made us feel. She was pushing out in the electric current between us—making my eyes grow hooded and as I looked back at Edward I felt and saw his shoulders melt with the surge.

He brought his hands up to run them through my hair. Both the human and I were satisfied to let the minx have control for the moment. I felt my face pull up in to that devil smile that meant only one thing. I pulled Edward's shirt apart and planted an open mouthed kiss on the center of his chest. I licked a hot wet line up to his throat. Edward's head fell back as he closed his eyes and buried his hands in my hair. He groaned and the air snapped with our electricity.

The clouds moved closer and our pulse brought the heavens down in another thunderous shout. I was writhing in against his legs—wild with the anticipation.

We were in perfect harmony as I leapt into his arms and swayed back to offer my self to him. Since I had been detaching us from this interplay for a long while now I had not allowed us to appreciate the way our bodies had truly become one. Edward's mind knew what I was thinking and my body knew how to soothe his beast. Our movements were as fluid as water running down a stream—natural and effortless.

I heard Carlisle clear his throat politely to ask us to stop. I just stretched out with my mind and felt that they were all excited like Edward and I—letting go of their control in lustful fantasy. I used that release to enter their bodies and relax them in to sleep.

I was riding the sensations in Edward's arms. The world was roaring around us. Our family was falling to the ground in restless slumber beside us. It was carnal—it was scary. I didn't have control. I pleaded with my mind for Edward to find control.

He growled into my neck—he was just as lost as I was. Then all at once he froze. My body locked up when his stopped. A mercy.

He slid me down the length of his body and stole one long glance at my face before he hid me behind his back. He fixed his eyes on a spot behind our family—just over Alice's shoulder.

They had all been released from my hold when Edward woke me up—I realized now that Alice was having a vision. Edward must have seen what she saw. I knew instinctually that it was about me. Of course it was. She had been staring at me all day. And now Edward was shielding me from whatever was coming on the horizon.

Alice's eyes were unfocused and her breaths were coming in short hard gasps.

"They're coming." She said.

Edward's back vibrated with a low growl. His every muscle tensed. His hands turned in to iron claws.

"How many?" He asked, low and quick. But he answered his own question in unison with Alice, "three." They said.

"I couldn't see them before." She sounded ashamed and bereft at the omission. Poor Alice, I wanted to soothe her. But Edward wouldn't break his protective stance. I sighed.

Edward titled his head to the side. I recognized the movement—he was listening to the strangers' minds. "They are traveling fast—they heard the game. They want to play."

The family gasped collectively. I slapped Edward on the back to remind him that I was a person who deserved explanation too. What kind of strangers could possibly disturb eight vampires with their presence… _oh other vampires_.

Edward glared down at me—he was such a bitch when it came to keeping me safe. "Who are they?" I asked stupidly. What was the right question to ask at this point? Luckily I felt fully in control—total vampire Bella. For the moment at least.

"Nomads." He spat. The anger was directed at the situation and at the threat but it still stung to have it thrown at me in his words.

"Oh," I said lamely. I hadn't really gotten around to asking Edward too much about the others of our kind who lived out in the world. I knew about the Five and the guard and our 'vegetarian' cousins who lived in Alaska. But I had never heard of the Nomads before.

It was intriguing to get the chance to meet vampires outside of my family. I actually primped my hair for the exchange. Edward watched me with annoyance that melted into frustration. "Bella," he sighed. "They could be dangerous." He warned.

I looked from him, to Emmett and Jasper and back to him. "Dangerous to whom?" I joked.

He chuckled against his better judgment and turned back to face the three figures advancing from the forest a mile behind home plate. They didn't move like we did. They moved like wild animals—like Cullens did only when hunting. There was a woman. She was as untamed as her flaming red hair. The other two were men as different in appearance as they were similar in movement. The one in the middle was tall with a dark complexion and an elegant air to his posture. The one on the left was evil. He was dirty and his hair was in wild disarray.

They were all beautiful—and they were all lethal. And I was pulled to them by some unknown desire. I inched around Edward's arm to stare at their seductive movements.

They stopped twenty feet away from the line of my family—cautious of such a large coven. The dark one spoke first. His voice was smokey and alluring. "We thought we heard a round of baseball from the woods. We were wondering… can we play?"

The words hung in the space between or two lines for a heartbeat. I liked the sound of them. These creatures were like shiny new toys that I wanted to explore—to take apart and play with.

I was intrigued.


	11. Chapter 11: Leaving Forks, family, him

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

Take the object found while searching under your bed in the middle of the night out into the center of your room to illuminate its mystery. What you thought was your missing shoe becomes the forgotten purse that you haven't used in three years. Take the wicked whispers in shadows of the dark alley and see them through the lips from which they passed on the face of the devout Reverend in the Sunday morning light. Take the image first presented shrouded in fear and remove the need for panic- what a difference one choice makes.

**Answer:**

Chapter 11: Nomadic lifestyle or Leaving Forks, Leaving Family, Leaving Him

**\/Darkside\/**

**JPOV**

I could feel their curiosity mixed with the instinctual caution that was part of the vampire nature. Alice tensed in my arms as, I was sure, she saw their arrival approaching. There were... three. One male, a hunter, ready to fight. Another male, reserved, eager, almost hopeful. The last a female, wild, rebellious, protective.

My arms tightened around my Alice as an echo of that defense in the female. It was for her mate... which one. We turned when Edward and Alice confirmed my suspicions of their numbers. Edward said they were curious. I knew that. He said they wanted to join the game. Yes, there was an anticipation to the way they moved.

I squeezed Alice tighter again. The passions of the vampire often lead to only one thing. I had spent too many years in battle to ever be at ease around strangers.

I was only now warming up to Bella. I could feel her anxiety. She was a rainbow of emotions all in one minute. How would she survive such a dichotomy of body and mind? I knew the answer to that- the same way Edward dealt with hearing more thoughts than his own and Alice dealt with seeing situations that are yet to come. She would have to learn to handle this like I did my ever changing climate- time.

The Nomads approached from the west. The clouds were darker on that side of the field- like the advancing storm was following these three outsiders. I could feel Bella's interest as we watched them approach.

The rest of the family was cast in shades of apprehension. I was no help in calming their nerves. I was more on guard than any of them. But Bella was staring at the new arrivals with youthful impatience. She wanted to know more about them. Her emotion was so strong that I was actually feeling a little hopeful to meet them myself.

I squashed the sensation. I pushed a healthy dose of fear towards her body. I could hear Edward hiss as I did it. _You know it is better for her to be afraid than for any of us to get hurt- especially her_. I defended.

Edward's tension was only amplified by my omission. And as his body was panicked I could feel Bella's automatically registering the change in him—like she was linked to him in a way like I was. Would there ever come a day when that girl didn't perplex us all.

Edward chuckled tightly behind me. Yes, I supposed whatever surprised us with Bella was only a taste of what Edward experienced with her. In a moment of careless meditation, I wondered at the changes in my brother over the last two months. He used to believe that there was nothing worth living this life for. Now, because she adored it so, Edward reveled in being a vampire. How effortlessly Bella had brought on this metamorphosis. But then it was like that for all vampires—once we found our _other_ we were changed. My arms tightened impossibly more around my beloved.

Alice's tiny hand patted against my mine almost as an afterthought. I could feel her clouded emotions of the new arrivals. She was on edge over something else. I felt a surge to her bond with Bella—she was worried about Bella. Why?

She patted my hand again. Drop it, the movement said. It was her silent way of making me focus on the trouble in front of us not inside her head. She would handle the future I was needed in the present.

I shook my head.

I released Alice and took a step forward. Emmett flanked my left as Edward and Carlisle stepped up to flank my right. Our females were not hidden damsels behind us—just the second infantry reserved for a defense.

Edward chuckled darkly and shook his head. He could never fully appreciate the way I saw the world. I wasn't like the rest of them. I had no other memory than opening my eyes and being trained. We soldiers were created on an assembly line—kissed by the mother and chosen for service.

We tensed as their scents caught our noses on the breeze. They stopped at the makeshift pitching mound—leaving a good space between us. We were matched, on even ground—I did not like the disadvantage. I preferred to always have the upper hand. I would hope our strength lay in numbers—but I had no way of knowing what skills these strangers possessed. They seemed relaxed in stance, though I felt their unease within. I could tell that they were not new at such intercourse—meeting fellow groups on their travels.

"Of course not," Edward whispered beside me. It was not silent enough for the visitors to miss. "The middle one will speak to us—he is actually intrigued by our family." I nodded. That was signal for me to keep my eyes on the other two. The dark one would not be the threat—for the moment.

I focused on the female. She stood in front of Edward, but I would not have a difficulty blocking her advance. Emmett took the wiry looking one on the left. Alice put her hand on my back—I reined in the urge to show aggression. She was warning me that if I made that decision it would end badly.

The female's eyes narrowed. She seemed to focus past our front line and found something behind us very interesting. I didn't have to look. I could feel my little sister's renewed curiosity. Bella was probably standing on her tiptoes to peek around Edward.

He glanced over his shoulder with a snarl on his lips. His frown told me I was right. _Should we have Alice fall back with her_? She could be safer away from the temptation. Edward shook his head.

He seemed to say that they were no threat—to her. He glanced at me. I nodded. No threat to us. At least in their thoughts. I looked back at Alice. She shook her head infinitesimally. No threat so far in the future.

I nodded again. It wasn't that I was eager for a fight. But I just could never get used to innocent until proven guilty. I released a wave of calm over both parties. I hoped that it would be a sort of white flag.

It had the opposite affect. The wild one crouched down. The female took two steps back with a hiss. Odd. I watched Edward in my peripheral. He was agreeing. There was more to the couple than he could read.

Carlisle nodded to us for approval to initiate communication. We nodded in response. Emmett was growling as he watched the wild one's eyes follow Carlisle. I fought to hold on to the calm while my defenses rose up. Alice's tiny hand was soothing once again on my back. _Patience_.

"Hello," Carlisle said waving to the visitors. He put himself between the dark one and me. I didn't like the weakness of this position. Carlisle could get hurt. Alice increased the pressure of her touch on my back. _Calm_.

"This is my family." Carlisle announced modestly. All of our chests puffed a bit broader and we raised our heads a little higher at the statement. It was a proud thing to be a Cullen.

"We could hear the game from the forest," the dark one spoke. His voice was as dark as his skin. I could feel Bella's attraction to the sound. Edward's head shifted ever so slightly at my thought. His eyes narrowed on the stranger. So he had a hard time sharing her with everyone—not just us.

He growled under his breath. I suppressed a laugh. But I heard Alice giggle behind me.

"Can we play?" The stranger asked for a second time. It was an odd request at this juncture. Obviously we were packed up and ready to go. It was almost as if the creatures were meant to be here, but in a different setting—like whatever they were supposed to be doing was no longer relevant.

Alice tapped her finger against my back—Morse code_. The redhead will try to attack Bella. Stop. Change places with Edward. Stop. Let them see Bella. Stop_. Edward and I immediately followed her silent command. Edward reached back to pull Bella forward as I shifted to the right.

I stared down the carnal lines of the female's face. She had a reserved intensity. She hid it well on the outside. She just looked unkempt and wild. But deep inside of her there was a ravaging lust for destruction- one that was honed and would be deadly. There was also a quiet throbbing love.

Without moving my eyes from her form I noted the other two strangers. Neither of them shared in her bond of love. Strange. She was obviously harboring both the fierce protectiveness and a relationship with one of them. The dark one seemed unattached to her- he was almost afraid when he felt her move beside him. The other one didn't regard her at all. He was too busy staring down Emmett. I couldn't blame him.

In almost two hundred years of war I had never come across anything as instantly lethal or immensely massive as Emmett. I was always glad to have him on my side. I hunched into a defensive position as Edward stepped back to the line with Bella in his embrace.

She stood encircled by his shielding arms. Her eyes were wide- like a toddler seeing something magical for the first time. It was strange. Bella almost looked like she had never seen a vampire before- like these creatures were the first of our kind that she had met.

The males were instantly focused on her. I could feel the fascination growing in both of them. Bella was provocative to them- while she had the opposite affect on the female. Edward continued to growl low and menacing as he listened to their thoughts. He was on guard.

I tensed in response. Alice's hand pinched my back. I tried to calm myself. The air was filling with some kind of electricity. It was making everyone feelings intensify. I could feel Edward relax into Bella- I watched out of the corner of my eye as he dropped his head to her neck and started kissing her flesh.

The two males fell to their knees staring up at Bella with awe reverence. The female backed away in furious anger. I roared deep in my throat as my own need to fight peeked. Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the ground holding hands and talking. Emmett and Rosalie were following the female with measured slow steps.

Alice wedged herself between Edward and me. I looked down at her- barely in control of my rage. She was serene- calm. She winked up at me.

Bella seemed unaffected- other than her natural response to Edward's lips on her skin. She blinked her eyes slowly and the strangers dropped to the ground, fast asleep.

We were all instantly released from the spell that had controlled our thoughts and moods. Bella pushed out of Edward's arms, which were too stunned to fight her, and walked towards the Nomads.

Edward watched her with a mixture of horror and worship. She was magnificent. But she was obviously not in control. Her ability seemed to be channeled through her desires for the moment. That made her a greater threat than the beasts lying on the ground. She was clearly dangerous not only to others but to our family as well. Edward didn't turn to acknowledge that thought but the remorse that flowed from him to me was unmistakable.

Bella knelt down by the dark one. She reached with a single finger and touched his face. She looked back at Edward with a wide grin- flashing all of her perfect white razor sharp teeth.

I could feel happiness from him as he saw her smile. It was odd. Edward was tied to her in a way that I had never experienced. His every thought and every emotion were linked to Bella's. It was a profound bond to feel- Stronger than even mine to Alice. I watched as his face pulled in to a long slow grin.

It did not match the terror that was welling in him under the surface. She had not released him from her control entirely. Panic. He was responding to me now—and I in turn was growing frightened at the prospects of Bella's untapped potential.

"Bella," I said hoping to distract her. She pointed her innocent eyes at me and I was… happy. I wanted to sit by her and play with the new toys too. I didn't care about anything else. I was just excited to join in. Edward and I sat down beside her and she actually clapped and giggled. It made me laugh. I was having fun- because she wanted me to have fun.

Alice's hand was on my shoulder. I shot her a wave of this infectious glee. Why wasn't she joining in? Why weren't they all joining in? I gave all of them a boost of the emotion. There really was no point to wanting to do anything else. Bella deserved to have her fun. Edward and I sat staring at her with that same reverence that the Nomads had offered.

Bella reached back down and stroked the dark one's cheek. His eyes moved furiously behind the closed lids. He looked so peaceful. I could feel my eyes growing heavy at the sight. Bella put her hand on my arm without looking back at me. I instantly felt a jolt of alertness.

I smiled. Of course she would take care of us. She didn't want us to miss out on the fun.

"Bella," Alice said quietly behind me. She didn't sound happy. I couldn't remove my eyes from Bella's face. She was running her fingers through the redhead hair now. Her face was contorted in lines of inquisitiveness. Edward was leaning in to her and nuzzling her neck from behind again.

"Bella," Alice's plea was just as calm and devoid of emotion. Strange. I pushed out with the unexplainable bliss once more. Alice should not be afraid of this.

"It's time to wake up," at those words the edges of my happy mood seemed to darken. I saw Bella's face fall ever so slightly. Edward tensed in response to her change.

"Please, Bella," Alice's voice was steadfast. "Please, let everyone go."

Bella gasped and we were released again. The Nomads remained unconscious but the family was removed from the waking fantasy of Bella's game.

Edward sat back with his hands up to comfort or restrain her, I couldn't tell.

"Bella love," his voice was breathless. It had been a very long day for him. "What… do you know… what did you do?" The words were just a question not an accusation. If we Cullens held grudges for the side affects of these abilities then even I would have too much guilt to live with.

Of course you could always count on Rosalie to be the exception to the rule. "She bewitched us!" She screeched. Her passionate rage against Bella made me want to jump up and rip out her throat to defend my new sister. Hatred. Rage. Anger- The only way to describe the Grecian beauty with the silvery blond hair.

Edward's lips pulled back from his teeth as a warning for his least favorite sibling to back off. "She is a threat to more than our enemies. She is a threat to herself and to all of us." My heart sunk as she finished. I hated to have to agree with her. But Bella needed to get a grip on control—or I feared that our family would be too big to stay together.

I felt my remorse echoed in the bodies of Carlisle and Esme. Emmett felt a little amazed at his first experience of Bella's gift. And Alice… she was still detached. She was not allowing her self to feel anything. I looked back at her. She had the answer she'd feared for some time now.

When I looked back at Edward's face I wished that I could stop the flow of emotion from his body to mine. The utter anguish was crushing. It felt like an ending. It felt like staring down an opponent that I knew I could not defeat. It felt like death.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV**

I looked down at my hands. What had I just done? How could I do that?

_Through the empath_. Some part of my mind cajoled. _We used his power to unhinge them all—put them all in a state easily controlled. You just need for him to be under, and then you can control everyone around you_. I shook my head. I wanted to beat that part of my mind out of my skull with a rock.

I didn't want to control anyone. _But you did_. The velvet demon whispered from the darkness of my mind. _You couldn't let them stop you. These creatures are so different—so new. You knew that Edward would never let you touch them. He doesn't want you to consider them as an alternative_.

I peeked a glance at my love. His eyes were pained. His face was tight. He was tormented by something I didn't want to understand. I didn't want to believe that I had put that look on his beautiful face.

_But he would have kept them from us_. Would that have been so bad? I loved the Cullens. I loved my domesticated vampiric lifestyle. Yes, I had trouble adhering to the hunting habits but if this was how Edward wanted to live then it was good enough for me. _But it is so tempting_. The snake's tongue was hissing on the inside of my ears. I was truly going insane.

I looked back down at the three wild creatures. They were alluring—but I could no longer believe that it was their itinerant existence that was captivating my interest. There was something about them. Something in their essence. I rubbed my fingers together—his skin had felt the same as ours. It was darker than midnight but just as smooth and cold. I looked at the female. Her hair did not burn as the color promised. It was soft though untamed. I didn't touch the other one. Something about him made my dead stomach turn. He was evil beyond the levels of what I could tolerate. He hunted innocents. I could tell. I got the feeling that if I had been human, as I thought I was when he first arrived, he would surely have hunted me. How could I ever touch something vile enough to spill innocent blood?

My head screamed from within. _HYPOCRITE!_ I have drunk innocent human blood. I was a newborn and barely conscious of the difference. I did not possess a memory of good or evil. Edward's hand tentatively touched my arm. _He's drunk innocent blood_. Was I innocent? Didn't I beg for this fate? _No, he'd spilt that blood long before our life ended_. The errant thought was banished from my immediate mind. I would not judge him. He was not like that malevolent thing in front of me.

I returned to my musing of what was drawing me to them… something so evocative in their scents… I raised my hand to my nose and drank deep of my own scent. It was there. I pulled Edward's hand from my shoulder and smelled his skin. It was there too. Jasper was still close by. I begged his forgiveness with my eyes and reached for his hand shyly. He handed it to me with a deep scowl in his brow.

It was not there in his skin. "Did Carlisle change you?" I whispered. Something was starting to add up in my mind. I just didn't have all of the pieces yet.

"No," he breathed. "I was changed by the mother." I smelled his flesh again. Deeper in the notes was a similar cadence as the one that linked those of us changed by our father. Some lost relation. But these creatures had identical aroma in their flavor to my own.

"Carlisle?" I asked turning to my father with wide wondering eyes. He was watching me with an odd look- one that told me that he was already sensing the same thing that I was. "Did you?" I prompted.

"No." He said flatly. His face was troubled. It was impossible for me to understand why. What did it all mean?

I heard Edward draw in a sharp breath. "Erebos," his voice was low and menacing as it wrapped around the word.

Of course, Carlisle's father would have been more than capable of turning others. I had not considered that it was the grandfather's essence and not the father's that washed inside of us—joining we tamed Cullens to the wild nomads.

"Tell her Edward." Alice spoke quietly behind us.

Edward sighed deeply and looked into my eyes. He looked so tired. And he looked like he was still in pain.

"It's time to go."

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV**

We had been walking at little more than a human pace for some time before I could leave my thoughts long enough to talk to her. There was so much that had happened.

Alice was silent as she walked on my other side. I still wondered exactly why she bothered to follow. I had gleaned her vision. It was final. Bella would decide to part from the family to deal with this problem. Alice knew that she was not included in Bella's decision. I bit my tongue when it came to telling her to stay behind though—I knew that Bella would leave me too.

My hand squeezed tighter around hers- as if I could force her to choose to stay with me by soldering our bodies together. I couldn't be without Bella. Not now. I would cease to exist. I understood her need to find balance on her own. I had taken to meditating privately for long periods when I was a newborn. But that's only because I didn't have Bella back then.

Since that day that she pulled me from my demons in the darkness of my mind, she helped me find my center. Every moment I spent with her I felt my evil growing smaller. I couldn't describe how just breathing her scent and touching her flesh was purging the sickness of self hatred from my body. She was a purifying drug to me. And now she was going to take that all away.

I was the most abominably selfish creature in the world—I hated her for making that choice. How could she do that to me? Then I hated my self even more for entertaining the thought of that hate for even a second. It was only fair to let you find her self. I had taken so much control from Bella from the moment I met her—letting her go now, on her terms, was the least I could offer.

It still hurt to consider it.

"Tell me Edward," she whispered beside me. Alice stomped on my foot when I still found my self at a loss for words.

"You tell her," I spat, "Since you seem so obsessed with her knowing." I didn't agree with Alice's evaluation. I had read their minds. I knew the connection before Bella put together the pieces. And Alice saw the conversation that they were having with our family now as we headed further east into the wilderness. But Bella didn't need to know all of it. She had enough to worry about right now. This three hundred year old social experiment was frankly getting rather old.

"Erebos had a reason for creating Carlisle… You remember?" Alice leaned around my body to look at Bella. She still held herself in calm reserve. Funny. She had kept herself detached from Bella's control only because she had built up a resistance to Jasper over the years. Even the mind reader couldn't see that trick coming. But Alice recovered from the first wave of Bella's attack quickly. She kept her guard up even now without Jasper's added influence to aid Bella in a loss of control.

"Carlisle was Erebos' ultimate study of mankind. He admired him as a young human and he relished the idea of having him by his side in the darkness of this world. But when Carlisle left, his father couldn't let go of the curiosity." Alice watched Bella with careful eyes. Erebos was not without gifts. Some that were seemingly manifesting in his distant granddaughter. We never really understood how we received these powers—one theory that Carlisle had entertained for a while was that they were shadows of the gifts originated in the Five.

But none of the Five could do what Alice could do. And most of our gifts were lame in comparison to the sheer strength that the Five possessed. But you couldn't deny that Bella's gift of changing reality was similar to Erebos'.

"You see, like all of the Five, he has spent an eternity trying to understand the world and the creatures that live in it. And with his ability, his curiosity knows no limits… Erebos has the power to change the past." Alice let that sink in for a moment. I had fought long and hard to find this mythical creature in the shadows of the corners of the earth. I had desired one moment in my past to be changed forever. But now, after Bella, that longing had disappeared.

"What do you mean?" Bella's voice was just as devoid of emotion as Alice's. She was my Bella now. The one that wasn't troubled with human fears, or stubborn with newborn needs, or all knowing with powerful potential, just a vampire- just my Bella.

"He can grant you the opportunity to change one choice that you have made in your life. One moment that you can have back and fix, or destroy…"

"How… why?"

"It is almost impossible to find him unless he wishes to find you. But he is like the fates—balancing the movements of good and evil to keep them together in this world. His gift is not saintly in nature. Some choose to change things that lead to worse ends. Some bring back lives that shower the world in great deeds that at one point never existed. It truly is a remarkable talent—but it is only offered once and not offered to everyone."

"Do you know anyone who has accepted it?" Bella always asked the wrong questions—or I supposed they were the right questions. They were just answers that made this life more complicated than it needed to be. I wanted her to have no worries—no fears, or regrets. Erebos was an obsession for most of us. Who didn't have one moment in their life that ate at their souls and made them desperate for an opportunity to change it?

"No," Alice admitted. "We have all heard stories. But when someone accepts his offer—the world changes and they have no memory of the previous world. If I had known someone, and they made a choice that changed the outcome of their life, then I might not be included in that new life. And thus, I would never remember that I had known them, because I would never meet them." I nodded. Alice had such a way with keeping so many confusing concepts straight in her head. Of course none of the three of us had clear concepts on reality anymore. Unlike Carlisle and Emmett, and even Jasper in most ways, Bell, Alice and I were constantly battling to remember ourselves and separate that truth from the future, or a fantasy or a stray thought. It was maddening.

I took my little sister's hand in my open one. I would be forever grateful that she had found our family and adopted us all those year ago. I knew that I would be relying on her more than ever in the time ahead.

"How does it work?" Another brilliantly harmful question—Bella was so intelligent. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.

"He gives you an apple." Alice's lips pulled back as her face became the serpent's. "Like Eve in her Eden you must decide. Which is the hell and which the absolution." She giggled. I rolled my eyes. Alice and her theatrics. "When you bite, if you bite, then you are given the power. It is not that different from what you do," I hissed as she took Bella's thoughts down this dangerous path. Bella was terrified of her gift, I could feel that. I didn't want her heading out on her own with this kind of knowledge.

"What do you mean?" Bella stopped us. Her face was hard. Her eyes were not focused on Alice as I expected them to be, but rather they were boring into mine.

I didn't know which of us she meant to have answer. I stared down at her with a vacant expression. I waited dumbly for Alice to finish. "He shifts the boundaries of realities in the minds of all who were affected by the decision that is made. It's like giving your gift a super shot of uber steroids but it is very similar. With the slight exception of your gift only working in the present time—as far as we know now. You can access past memories. Who's to say that you can't manipulate them like you do current ones?" I scowled at her conjectures.

What the hell did she mean about Bella manipulating memories? Alice's face was stone again. Now, she was blocking me out too. That wouldn't last for long. Sooner or later she would think about whatever it was she was hiding.

"So what did the Nomads have to do with Erebos?" Back on track. Good girl.

"They were sent to find Carlisle," I would finish this mess before Alice had us wandering too much further in to the darkness. "He sends out scouts to check in with his charges. We are usually too far off the radar for him to find. But he must have been desperate—to send three." I shook my head. Erebos hadn't made such a fuss to find my father since the great massacre. I wondered idly if the wolves were stirring in the darkness again—if they were Erebos would be the first to know.

"So," Bella frowned—trying to understand. "They were just looking for our family. That's why the dark one was so interested in us? He figured we were the Cullens?" I nodded.

"Then why did we have to leave?" She already knew the answer. I sighed as I thought of the proper way to answer her.

"We can't be around the others right now love," Alice's tiny breath hitched as if she had the ability to cry. Her thoughts were sad—she loved Bella very much.

"It is unfair for you to feel so at odds in your own skin," I pulled my hands out of theirs and placed them on either side of her face. "We push you too hard to be too disciplined. You need some time to just explore yourself and find what can keep you in control." I was beginning to hate that word. You never found control with unlimited strength, immortality and a talent like ours. A part of us—one fostered by the venom of our regeneration—never wanted to find control. I feared that part of Bella's mind was already too powerful for us to combat—she would have to find a way to live with that voice in harmony as it would never go away.

She nodded. Her eyes drifted to Alice. "I love you." She said simply. Alice's breath hitched again. I rolled my eyes. Bella wasn't going to be hurt—I had been separated from the family for decades before. It never bothered Alice when I was going away.

"Bella, please…" Alice's voice was strained. It was new to hear the psychic beg. "Please don't go alone. Please take one of us with you." Bella's eyes roamed from my sister's to mine and back again. She finally placed her hands on mine where they still cupped her face.

She breathed deep and I was lost in that electric burning need that I had for her. My lips were on hers in the next breath. Somewhere in the distance I thought I heard Alice still pleading for us to stay.

Bella pulled back with baited breaths. "Let's go." She commanded.

I didn't need the air but my breathing sped as we raced through the woods. It wouldn't be easy to lose Alice. We ran without any clear destination in mind.

I didn't have to ask Bella why she wanted to do this. I knew what it was like fearing your own potential. But she was keeping me close- I would help her through this. We would keep the rest of our family safe until she found her control.

I felt Bella's frustration in the air between us. This was starting to put me on edge too. As Bella's condition progressed so did our bond and I was beginning to find it difficult to separate my self from Bella anymore. She slowed her pace and mine automatically slowed to match her steps. My breathing continued to spike and hers pushed faster next to me in response.

It was exasperating. And it was wondrous. But mostly it was terrifying.

A human would call it too much too soon. But there were parts of my mind that hungered for more. My soul ached to have Bella possess every inch of me—and in turn my body craved to inhabit every part of her.

I watched her as we ran at human speed through the darkness. The action used to be exhilarating to me—but now everything paled next to Bella. I saw Bella's face fall into a frown at my last thought. It was subtle and anyone but me would have missed it. But I could tell she did not appreciate my devotion.

Bella laughed. It was empty and shaky. "This isn't devotion Edward," I stopped at her words. She was only able to read my mind while we were in one of her dreams. I reached out and grabbed her hand when she stopped too. She felt substantial. I leaned in and smelled her neck. She arched her head back unconsciously as I ran my nose along her flesh. She smelled real.

She laughed again, stepping back. My face was stone as I tried to make sense of what was happening to her. "This is a possession. We're like ghosts," her face was sunken and frail as she said the words. I was frozen as I watched—like I was being forced to not want to move. "We're fighting to have a piece… no one is in control…" She looked down at the ground and put her face in her hands. 'We' was not referring to she and I—I watched as each version of Bella played across what little bits of her face were exposed.

"I can't do this." She breathed. I felt as though a heart was racing in my chest at her words. I gripped her hand harder.

"You don't know what's real anymore… and I'm sorry for that." She said. Her face was filled with anguish that twisted my guts. I threw my arms around her. I kissed her neck. I drank in her scent. I licked the flesh beneath her ear. I knew what was real. This. Her. She was real.

"You're wrong Edward." She said slowly. Her face was so calm. Her eyes were almost hollow. "You've lost touch with your own reality."

I shook my head fiercely. A snarl was building in my chest. Some place in my mind knew what was happening. But I fought it. I refused to let go of what I _knew_ was real.

"I love you." She breathed. Just as she had with Alice and my heart sank. "I want you to stay with them. They need you." I nodded uncontrollably as she nodded. I would do whatever she told me to. I was losing all control.

I was growing numb.

"You are here." I said squeezing her to me. Her little body was the most substantial thing in my world. She shook her head against my chest. "Yes." I hissed. "Please stay."

She turned my head to the right and I saw my broken body on the ground—alone on the forest floor. Alice came up to stand beside me, but I was lost in a trance.

I cried out in horror as my world started coming down around me. _Where are you?_ I thought staring in to her eyes. _When did you leave?_

"I'm safe," she promised. She stepped up on her toes and placed the softest kiss to my lips. "I was gone before you kissed me." She admitted. "Forgive me."

I opened my eyes to the stars above the forest sky. Alice was sitting next to me. She was not bothering to hide her thoughts about Bella controlling me through my dreams. I could care less about any of that.

My limbs were numb and feeble at my sides. My lungs stopped the façade of breath. My eyes stared blankly at the empty heavens above. My ears were drenched in silence. No more music. No more anything.

Only one phrase ringing in the darkness. _Forgive me_.


	12. Chapter 12: Sins of the mother

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

A child grows inside of you. From the moment of conception it is your responsibility to give that life support. The child only breathes because of you. The child only lives because of you. The child is shaped by your hands alone. Are we nothing more than the sum of the sins of our mothers?

**Answer:**

Chapter 12: Moving on Or The sins of the mother

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (forest, minutes after Bella has released him from the dream)**

Alice was thinking. Alice was speaking. The air was blowing across my skin. I could see the rain beginning to fall. It hit the trees and bounced as it collided with the earth.

Animals were running for cover. Alice was still thinking. Alice was still talking. My family was close enough that I could hear their thoughts now. The rain kept falling.

I was frozen.

I could not move. I would not think. The world was silent.

Bella was gone.

I had lived almost a hundred years of night. I did not mind a life without the light of day. I could see just fine in shadow. But this... this was darker than midnight. This was a shade too dark for my perfect vision to adjust to.

I did not breathe.

I did not speak.

I blinked my eyes slowly, in infrequent intervals. It was the last ounce of hope that Bella would appear- if I could just clear the faulty lens of my eye, I could find her.

I yearned for the dreams. Some part of my mind- the one that was bothering to listen to what Alice was screaming in hers- was cognizant of the fact that Bella had been controlling me for some time now. I really wished she had never stopped.

There was a simple bliss in ignorance.

My eyes blinked slowly once more- a lowering that covered the world in complete darkness, a breath of hope and the inevitable anguish of the harsh light of reality.

Bella was still gone.

My world was hell before, but never quite so bleak. I did not have a comparison to heaven in my former life. Now I knew what my life could be, and it was not worth going on without her.

My arms were not heavy or light- just gone. My legs were not still- just stopped. Every part of my body was as worthless and as quiet as my cold dead heart.

Alice was thinking. Alice was screaming.

"EDWARD! Will you please say something! We have to get back to them now. Don't you start! You are not going to tell me to just leave you here!" I felt a tiny body straddle my waist. It was not the body I was longing for. I ignored it. I blinked again.

"You know what she told you to do," Alice's voice was breathless as she continued. "Bella," my eyes snapped to the golden gaze of my baby sister. "Bella told you to stay with us."

I would have to make a rule of this. _Her_ name was off limits. The sound of it on the lips of one who loved her almost as much as I did was too torturous to witness. I would have to warn my family to never speak _her_ name… never think _her_ name.

_She_ was gone.

"Edward," Alice's voice broke around my name like an audible description of her now flowing tears.

I sighed. I let that other part of my mind move back to center. My family needed me. _She_ would be able to take care of herself. I could feel that.

I blinked my eyes one last time—a flash. _Bare feet running through a forest. Sobs torn from a delicate chest. Darkness_.

_Forgive me_.

Alice's eyes were boring in to mine. _You will be standing up in exactly thirty seconds_. I smiled. At least I still had Alice.

I stood with her in my arms. She put her small head against the lower part of my chest. I had forgotten how short she was. I had forgotten a lot of things. The air felt colder now—like something had been warming the atmosphere around me and now it was gone.

It was gone. _She_ was gone.

I sighed again, rubbing Alice's back in comfort. "Let's go." She nodded. I could hear our family in the distance.

The Nomads were on a scouting mission for Erebos. So he was looking for the Cullens. It had been a long time since Carlisle had word from his father. Erebos was a very secluded character—with a gift like his one had to play things close to the vest. The Nomads didn't even know who it was they were working for. They called him Firas. It was his little joke with Carlisle. The name was Arabic for persistent. And unfailingly constant was the pursuit of knowledge that Erebos had with the Cullen family.

I had never been near the man in person. I would love to hear his thoughts—Carlisle claimed that Erebos' intellect was truly astounding. He had lived forever alone, with nothing but his thoughts.

Empty. Pain. Loss. _She_ was gone.

I squeezed Alice's hand. I would use the clues that Erebos left in the minds of the Nomads to find the true message he was sending. The last time our family encountered his scouts was to warn us of an attack of the wolf legion in the south.

We were fairly close to a yet untapped wolf clan in the nearby reservation. But we would spare the new generation the burden. My family would leave Forks tonight. Alice pictured us in Alaska, but the vision was fading. What was changing our decision?

I saw the flash of darkness—a mirror of the image that had come to my mind more clearly than it was in hers. That was _her_. _She_ was lost in darkness. It broke my heart. And yet I was mostly very proud of her. _She_ had become so many things to me since she entered my life. She was like a child to me—beloved daughter. And I was the doting farther for my strong willed and powerful child.

Another flash—_Charlie Swan. Dead and bled dry. His body gripped in flames. The ash of his passing falling on to me and soaking my clothes with the stench of death_.

_That was me_. The truth I would have to live with. I had usurped the right of the true father. I had no right to be proud. But I would carry the responsibility just the same.

I sighed once more. The rain was falling lightly still. There was no depth to the sounds around me. All was silence. But I could still here what they were thinking.

A child—the greatest love and responsibility of all. What a parent wouldn't do for that child. We were all empty with the promise of procreation. There was no need for an immortal to give way to new generations. It had been foolish for our elders to put a hope in mother of our race. We Cullens accepted quickly the harshness of that reality—they would no heirs to our family.

But we were not without a history—nor were we lacking in the promise of a legacy to this great name.

I was lost in the gentle strength of my mother's thoughts… Esme was thinking of _her_ as well…

**\/Darkside\/**

**Esme POV (baseball field)**

I stood behind my husband and watched the strangers with little more than contempt. I wanted to offer them compassion- But they were responsible for a loss of one of my children. I couldn't forgive that betrayal.

I could feel that truth in my bones. Bella was gone. Edward and Alice would be home soon. But Bella was gone. I narrowed my eyes as I watched the dark one- Laurent. The minute he confirmed my suspicions I had even more reason to hate him.

_Erebos_.

I was a loving soul. I tried to see the good in all creatures. I refused to give up hope in anything. But I could never find any hope in the idea of that wretched devil.

I noticed the way my husband's shoulders tensed at the sound of his father's name. This would be a very long afternoon. Carlisle couldn't resist hearing about his oldest companion anymore than Erebos could resist studying our family like a science experiment.

I sighed. It was impossible to ease my worries with my family spread apart. I could feel Jasper's reassurance melting into my body. But it only eased my muscles. My mind could resist the suggestion- even if it could not battle Bella's attack.

She was so young. And she was so strong. She must be so frightened.

I clutched my arms around my middle. Would I ever be able to sooth that loss? It beat as strong inside my chest today as it had eighty years ago. A mother never forgot the loss of her child.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Esme POV (New York, January, 1928)**

He was beautiful as we danced under the moonlight. It was the perfect wedding. My mother had been right. All of my worries had faded the instant I said 'I do'. Tom was the handsome prince and I for the moment could indulge in the fantasy of being his princess.

I blushed as my brother's whistled while we passed them on the dance floor. I didn't feel proper in such display. Tom kissed my cheek. Such tenderness- I had never known it from him before tonight.

My mother had been right. From the corner of my eye I could see her. She clutched her kerchief to her lips and two tears rushed down her somber cheeks.

I glanced back at my husband. So strong and handsome in the dimming light of night. I felt many things for him as I watched his happiness dance in his eyes. I felt a longing for our future. I felt a duty to be the perfect wife. But I had to confess to my heart that I did not feel love.

I peeked at my mother once more when our dance was over. The weightlessness that had carried me on to the dance floor in my husband's embrace was suddenly a crushing heaviness.

My mother had been right. Marriage was a duty—a responsibility. It was not the fantasy of one's youth. I braced myself for the charge of my station and forced the smile and happiness as we thanked our guests for sharing in our special day.

The lace of my collar was scratchy. And my shoes were making my toes curl under from the strain. But I stood, the perfect lady, as Mr. Thorton took our photograph. Tom kissed my temple as he followed the gentlemen into the study for their nightcap.

I was alone in the middle of the dance floor. I looked up at the moon. It was full and pale and alluring. Something about the darkness had made the promise of fear in this day melt away. Something about the light of the nightly moon had made the harshness of Tom's edges smooth into a kind and loving husband.

My mother stayed in the shadow just beyond the dance floor. She watched me. She cried. But she never came to speak to me. I had entered some new word tonight. Become initiated into some secret club. I was no longer the child. I was well on my way to becoming the mother.

My mother had been right—I felt the cold steel hand of purpose settle over me as my new home grew quiet and my husband called for me to join him in our bedroom. This was my duty. What I was born to do.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(New York, November 1928)**

Tom was late again. I no longer bothered to wonder idly about the possible delays that kept him from his family. It was better for us when he wasn't around.

Ian was having the worst time sleeping. The poor dear, my sweet boy. I held my son to my chest and cooed him to rest. He was only a week old. It was only natural for a newborn to have difficulty with adjusting to life.

But a fear was closing in around me with each passing day. A darkness that I did not believe I could fight. Ian hiccupped in his sleep.

I could hear Tom approaching as I raised my son to my breast. He was hungry even though he was too weak to open his eyes. I smiled. Life was such a precious thing.

"Don't you have the decency to do that in privacy?" Tom slurred as he came in to our bedroom. My face flushed and I quickly turned to cover my self and my child with a blanket. I had forgotten how much he hated the sight of me feeding our son.

"I'm sorry," I whispered—small and meek. I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. For this one night couldn't he be something other than angry?

"Did you get a chance to speak to Dr. Irving?" I inquired. Ian stirred against my breast—his tiny breath seemed labored. My stomach clenched at the thought of him feeling any pain.

"I told you enough with your worries," Tom removed his shirt and his pants. I kept my eyes on the floor. Any slight grievance would make the situation worse. It was best to cower before things got out of hand. "He's fine." He spat.

Something about the way he said it made me change. I was the ever pleasing wife for almost a year now. I was his miserable lowly servant kneeling in fear for too long. But the way that he insisted that my child was not ill just pushed me too far. How dare he? How dare he presume to know anything about MY child!

"No he's not," was my only retort.

The slap came so suddenly that I was clutching my child in my arms on the floor before I realized that I was struck. His face was red and livid. His eyes were wild. It wasn't the first time that he had hit me. But it was the first time that I had earned it.

Ian screamed in my arms. The sound was a battle cry for that lost forgotten part of me. I stood before the monster and fought back.

I kicked with all my might at the most sensitive part of his anatomy. He fell to his knees and I made my escape. I flew down the stairs and out the door—nothing more than my child in my arms.

I had no one to turn to. I had no where to go. My mother had died the day after my wedding—a sudden stopping of her heart. I was left without a star to guide me through this darkest of nights.

But there was something drawing me through the winding paths in the surrounding forest of my husband's home. Some tugging sensation in my chest that pushed me west.

I ran until my legs were ready to give out. Ian never stopped screaming.

I stumbled on to the highway when I was all but ready to die from exhaustion. I was blessed to find that it was a bus stop and the passengers were just beginning to board.

I had no means of payment. But that tugging in my heart told me I had to get on that bus.

The driver took in the wretched sight of me. My son had fallen into unconsciousness only minutes before my feet found the road of my salvation. I handed him the only thing on my person that could be worth anything—to someone else, as it had no value left to me. The driver inspected my wedding ring and the sizable diamond that it held and agreed to let me ride as far as Chicago.

I settled in to the very last seat at the back of the bus. Ian was sleeping soundly—his breath still labored but there were no outward signs of harm. I would find us a new life once we got off of this bus.

I clutched my child to my breast and tried to picture a bright future for us. The darkness loomed ever closer to me as the tugging grew in ferocity.

_Chicago_.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(Chicago, one month after Edward leaves Carlisle)**

I sat in the corner and watched as the nurses came in and out of the ward. I was beginning to wonder if they would send for the doctors to take me away.

I couldn't let go of his hand.

He was so weak and so tiny. A silent tear slid down my cheek. I did this to him. I didn't fight harder when he was born. I wasn't strong enough until it was too late. His little body just couldn't survive on its own.

I ran my finger across his cooling skin. My heart was no longer in pain—it was just numb. I watched his tiny chest lay still and peaceful. There were no more labored breaths—but then there were no breaths at all.

Somewhere my mind was breaking. And the tugging was pulling me away from my child.

I turned to see the handsome doctor step to the front desk to check out for the day. He only worked the night shift. He seemed so gentle—full of compassion. I wondered if he had been on call during the day when we came in, if I would be holding a warm hand now instead of a cold one.

Another tear slid down my cheek. The handsome doctor's eyes roamed over the general vicinity that I was sitting in. He had such kind eyes. The tugging was choking me as I looked at him.

His beautiful face fell ever so slightly as he watched me. He turned to make his way home before the sun rose. I was momentarily distracted from my grief. I could see an ancient sadness in his golden eyes. I wanted to smooth away his pain with my hand just as my flesh was trying to reignite the spark of life in my son's arm right now.

"It's time honey," I couldn't blame them. It had been two days since they pronounced my sweet boy dead. I couldn't blame them. It was time he was laid to rest. He deserved the peace.

I couldn't watch as they lifted his still body from the bed. I couldn't follow him as the priest took him from the room.

I gripped my hand over my mouth as the bile rushed from my guts. I ran to door and the sick flowed from my mouth and nose as the cold November air cut into my lungs.

He was gone. My sweet boy. It was all my fault.

The tugging pulled me to the forest behind the hospital. There was a faint red glow over the woods as the sun began to rise. I wondered out of my mind with no purpose left in my life. I just followed the tugging and the promise that this was where I was meant to go.

I was vaguely aware when my feet reached the edge of the cliff. I had no thoughts to dwell on. I never got to see him smile. I never got to hear him laugh. He was so young. My sweet boy.

I felt the icy water slice my limbs and chest as I plunged into the deep. The sky above was red with the dawn of a new day but all I saw was darkness.

I drifted in the darkness. I dreamt of my son—I saw him grow into a strong man. He was gentle and patient. He was kind and wise.

I felt the tugging grow so strong that my eyes flew open against my will. I thought I was dead, but as I found the eyes of the handsome doctor I knew that this was a place better than heaven.

His eyes looked so troubled. I cast a caring glance into his eyes. If I could but ease his pain for this one moment, I could be saved from all of the wretched mistakes in my life.

His face grew calm—determined. He leaned down to my chest. My heart was all but silent. I felt the sting of his kiss above my heart. It was like a rebirth. A new pulse was driving my body. A liquid fire was spreading to every part of me.

I stared up at the angel who was granting me this second chance. I felt the pain beginning to grip me and welcomed it as my payment for this new hope and this miraculous creature before me.

He never left my side. I was lost in the flames for so long that I was worried I had misunderstood the gift and I had fallen into hell. But soon my body emerged from the transformation and I could feel him next to me—as I would for the rest of eternity.

He was cautious as he stood waiting for me to come back to myself. I stared up at the heavens when I opened my eyes. I had found my new purpose in life—I could smell him on the breeze. My body was new and precise as I followed his scent. His face was worried—mine was serene. I reached up with my new hand and smoothed away his troubles.

He melted into my touch—changed himself.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Esme POV (baseball field present time)**

Edward and Alice emerged from the forest behind right field. My silent chest was heavy with the physical proof of my new daughter's departure.

I understood the call that drew Bella away but it was no less heartbreaking to lose a child. I watched my Edward, my sweet boy, as he held his head up as if the pain was not tearing him to pieces deep inside. I was proud of both of them—as the mother I was rightfully was.

This shadow would pass and they would be reunited one day. It was their destiny to be together.

I had no fear that Bella would be able to handle whatever challenges faced her in this coming darkness. She was a Cullen after all. And we Cullen women could never be broken.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (baseball field present time)**

I narrowed in on the thoughts of the leader. The woman and her would-be mate were just tracking fodder that he used to keep himself alive. The message was in his thoughts.

He thought of a face. Nothing more.

The memory was unnerving. Erebos had never been so difficult before. His messages were to the point—a warning. But all I could see in this dark one's mind was the face of a woman. Her eyes were wide with terror as she crossed herself and screamed.

A flash—_I was watching my self watching the woman as she lowered the bloody child next to the white one. Both infants were still in death though they had just been born_.

I blinked. I had just entered Bella's recollection of that vision. I tried to understand how Erebos would have knowledge of that moment. There was no one in that room but my parents, the doctor and the nurse whose face was blaring in the mind of the dark messenger.

A flash—_My eyes (Bella's eyes) moved from my body and I could see the man who delivered the children. He stood to inspect the bloody baby. He wrapped the child in a blanket with my father. And when the white child awoke, he took the bloody carcass from the room. But as he left I finally was able to see his face_.

"Impossible," the current me whispered in the deafening baseball field. My family turned to watch my dazed form as my mind tried to make sense of the truth in my vision.

The man was Erebos. I had seen his face a thousand times in my father's mind. I would know the hard lines of the darkened torment anywhere. I would know those pitch black eyes from a hundred miles. How could he have been there when I was born?

A flash—_I am lying on the floor watching my human self drain of life. A movement calls my attention to my right. As I stand to embrace my self my eyes are drawn to the doorway that Carlisle has just come through. Another glimpse of a shadowy figure. Erebos' cold black eyes meet mine for a brief heartbeat and then he is gone_.

"What the hell does mean," I breathed. My eyes searched the field but I saw nothing. My ears were flooded with noise but I heard nothing.

"What is it Edward," Esme's quiet voice was followed by her gentle touch on my arm. I met her eyes as the horrible truths fell together in mind like the pieces of a sadistic puzzle.

"He knew my mother." My eyes sought out Carlisle's. It was not question, nor an accusation. Carlisle's eyes grew wide at the omission.

The Nomads were sent on their way and the Cullens made our way back to our house to leave Forks.

I rode alone in the Volvo as we headed to Chicago. Carlisle asked as we got in to the vehicles which way we should go. I had only one thought in my mind. I needed to go home. Alice confirmed that we were heading to Chicago.

I didn't understand anything but I knew some things to be true. Erebos was the vampire my mother was calling back to her in the darkness of her insanity. Erebos was present at my birth and he was witness to my death. Erebos was sending no other message but that he was seeking someone. He only pursued the ones he offered the choice to. It was impossible to deny the ultimate fact in the vision I saw in the dark Nomad's head…

Erebos was looking for me—he would offer the chance to change my past.


	13. Chapter 13: The shadows of the past

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

Wouldn't it be nice to walk back into your mind when you are looking for your keys. Want to settle the argument of who really agreed to walk the dog? Want to see the truth of your self with a clinical eye?

**Answer:**

Chapter 13: Going Home or The Shadows of the Past

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (physically she is in a forest in a remote part of Alaska.)**

I blinked my eyes opened and closed. What was he doing? The sky was dark again- another day gone. I didn**'**t bother to search the darkness. There was nothing out _there_ that I wanted to find.

I closed my lids and searched his mind. I could see through his eyes. _The Volvo tore through the midnight darkened highway at a velocity that would be like walking to our bodies but would be alarmingly fast to humans._

_He narrowed his vision. He was thinking about something_. I opened my eyes again. Still darkness. No stars- only thick grey clouds.

Eyes closed. _A street sign for Joliet, Illinois flew past the car. He was alone. No one was in the car to bother him with their thoughts. His mind was too ravaged with splintering flashes to concentrate enough to pick out any sounds from their minds in the following vehicles. _

_He pulled off the road at 200 miles an hour and clipped the hairpin turn toward the dirt path that led to the Cullen cabin. He hadn't been back here in almost fifty years. Not since Alice had become part of the family_.

I opened my eyes again. I considered the relevance of that thought. Did Alice have anything to do with Edward not wanting to return home for the last fifty years? Perhaps.

A flash (Jasper's memory torn from my connection to him in the baseball field)- _Alice's tiny figure dancing lithely through wilderness of the Rocky Mountains. Jasper_**'**_s thoughts were calm when she was calm. He was on edge to meet the family. Alice assured him with her touch and emotions that this is where they belonged._

_Edward was the first to approach from the shadowy fog. His emotional aurora was alarming to Jasper. This one must have had an ability. He was far too relaxed- still cautious, but knowing in an unnatural way. _

_Jasper_**'**_s body was momentarily at ease, as Alice's excitement could not be contained. She launched her self at her newly adopted big brother. And though Jasper braced for a fight and bared his teeth in protective threat- Edward simply allowed the nymph to jump in his waiting arms and chuckled. Jasper could feel a connection between the two that could not be denied._

_That earned Jasp_**e**_r_**'**_s trust and loyalty in one breath. Edward would always be family to Jasper- since Edward was obviously meant to be family to Alice_.

My eyes cleared and a single star shown through the blanket above me. I pulled the other stored flashes in my mind- knowing that as I did it, Edward**'**s mind would probably become gripped by them as well. An unfortunate side affect- I could not shield him from this power if I could not detach from his psyche.

And I would never break from him fully- lest I loss touch with every last ounce of something real.

Another flash (Edward's memory from the first day that we slept together)- _Edward disagreed with Alice_**'**_s assessment of Rose_**'**_s choice in moving back east. Alice was sure that getting too close to the Atlantic Ocean would mean being too close to Europe. Now that three gifted vampires were united in a single coven the guard would not be able to resist. _

_Edward assured his new beloved baby sister that the family would be safe. He did not tell her, but he was actually excited to return to his hometown. He had not been back since 1929. _

_Edward_**'**_s mind was infiltrated with a sudden vision of three travelers seeking the Cullens. It was disorienting- like back when he was first at the mercy of his uncontrollable gift. It would take some getting used to in order for him to be around his new siblings and their minds. Alice_**'**_s gift was now in some odd way Edward_**'**_s too. As long as he was near her when she had the vision- so would he._

(My mind noticed the familiarity of the situation- more scouts for Erebos.)_ There had not been any word from him since Emmett joined the family twenty years earlier. Edward flashed on the face of Carlisle's father in all three minds standing now in the spot that Alice had anticipated they would be_. (I made a note of the face in one of my many separate minds) _Carlisle was warned of a plot from the wolves. A legion was building in the south- word had spread that the revered general of the Vampire army had disbanded to follow his new bride to the north._

_Alice's thoughts were uneasy as she acknowledged the fact that the battle for our vampire kind would be hindered by Jasper____tanking his leave. She had begged him to be sure that she was what he wanted to fight for now._

_Edward noted that Jasper__**'**__s mind was clear of any regret. He simply wanted the wolves to stop the killing. There was no sense to the battle anymore. Vampires had removed themselves from society- they had become creatures in the darkness. And all because the wolves could not let go of their crusade. _

_Edward__**'**__s thoughts were an echo of Jasper__**'**__s. The scouts told Carlisle of a trusted safe house in Alaska. A coven of equally minded vegetarian vampires lived there. Carlisle agreed that it would be a better option than traveling across the country. Alice reminds Jasper that he had mentioned seeing large groups of wolves congressing near Arkansas. It was better that the family not walk straight into a war._

_Edward made a note of the violent rage in Rosalie__**'**__s thoughts- One more reason for her to hate the family. But then her thoughts grew satisfied and a venomous smile spread across her face as she looked into Edward__**'**__s eyes._

_Edward was not willing to put his family in danger, but he was very disappointed in being denied this journey home._

My eyes cleared again. There were now two shining stars in the sky above. I imagined them to be my Edward and my Alice. I knew from my connection to Edward's mind that they had forgiven my departure. Though both were terribly depressed over my absence.

That made my heart heavy. Edward would feel me now, and see whatever he chose to tap into of my mind if he desired but he would be more alone than I was. I understood this gift- I could bend it to my will. I was in control.

Edward would feel like a newborn all over again as the flashes and memories would seize his mind without any understanding as to why or to what end they were there.

I sighed and reviewed my research. Alice had been instrumental in one small but significant way in Edward not going home until now. But it made no sense to consider that reason vital. Alice was simply afraid- she wanted her new family to be safe.

I pulled the image from Edward**'**s mind back to my center of focus. In my mind's eye I saw the shadowy figure in the very real and detailed dimensions. In some ways I even saw a fourth dimension- because I had seen that face before.

He was the doctor at Edward**'**s birth and he was a silent witness at Edward**'**s death. Erebos. He was aptly named. Perhaps the mythology sprung from his existence alone. He was a black shade of unknown to me. I had thought of him only as a great grandfather before but now I was certain that I knew who he was.

Why was Edward going home now? What had the scouts told him that convinced him so easily to return to the last place that this dark cloud of uncertainty?

I closed my eyes and stepped in beside him.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Cullen cabin 20 miles north of Chicago)**

I stood watching the rain fall down on the lake. The ripples in the smooth glass of the water when struck by the drops of nature were truly mesmerizing.

One small drop disturbed the smooth clear surface of the water. One small choice falling upon the earth with no real destination but down caused waves to push the delicate fabric of the defined façade.

A flash—_Bella stomping her foot as her mother encourages her to continue her ballet lessons. She does not believe she has the talent. She falls down every time she tries to spin. She is tired of getting back up._

_She hides in the closet. A choice. She gives up_.

I shook my head. I was never more grateful than I was right now that I had not been able to read Bella's mind. It had to be a truly maddening place to be.

She was some vampire equivalent of schizophrenic… literally. She had four very defined separate personalities. And I was becoming familiar with all of them.

First there was my Bella… Vampire Bella. She existed for one thing and one thing only. Me. I was vampire so she was vampire. I loved her so she loved me. She was all instinct. She was all power. She was strong and beautiful. She was also dominant. She was the alpha of her pack of personalities. Ultimately the body that contained these creatures was that of the vampire. Ultimately this voice would control all others.

Second, the beta, was Human Bella. Human Bella held all of Bella's life experiences. Not just the ones that she focused on during her transformation. But ALL of her memories. Bella could recall her birth. She could recall what her first steps were like. She could recall what sweater she wore on her first day of school. Total recall. Human Bella sought to be the conscience. Where Vampire Bella had no real rules other than she wanted to please me, Human Bella drew upon the life that she represented and tried to enforce morals and ethics on the actions of Vampire Bella. She was responsible for the feeling of love… the emotion of pain… the desire of survival. She was also very much devoted to me as was the vampire.

Third, the voice that spoke for the newness of her rebirth, Newborn Bella. Newborn Bella was all desire and passion. When Bella felt something it was amplified through this voice. When she was angry she could just be angry or Newborn Bella could be psychotic with rage. When she was feeling lusty—Newborn Bella would tear off my clothing and take me with ferocious desire.

And the last and least loud but always present voice was Gifted Bella. This voice was in complete and total control and understanding of her gift. Her gift was a direct link to the Master's… whatever the hell that meant. It was difficult to tap into that voice. It was the most powerful at being separate. It locked itself away in her mind and simply controlled. Every time Bella used her gift, every time Bella just wanted to use her gift, Gifted Bella would be accommodating. Gifted Bella had neither reason nor conscience. It had neither memory nor future. It simply was. The strings to the puppet. The direct link to the source of the gift.

All of these voices existed in shades of each other. Sometimes they were loud and singular—most times they were layered upon each other like the colors blue and red making the eye see the color purple. And though through her mouth and eyes only one version of her could exist at any one time—all could be screaming in her mind at the same time.

It had not been a long drive to Chicago from Forks—with my style of driving. But it had been an eternity inside my head. It was truly fascinating. She was truly fascinating. How her mind could not go insane but exist on so many levels at once.

But it was destroying her sense of reality. Bella could move back and forth in the minds of those who had let her enter them. She could project herself in the mind of anyone she thought of. And now she had linked her self to me. I was to be Bella's one source of what was real. I rolled my eyes as I continued to watch the lake ripple under the little drops of fate. The more I was saturated with Bella's mind—the less I understood what reality really was either.

Emmett was standing behind me. Even if I could not mark his scent on the breeze or hear the exact weight of his body as his feet touched the earth I would have recognized his thoughts.

"You sure about this man?" I smiled. Emmett was impossible to not love. His sheer will of loyalty and protectiveness towards the ones he loved was overwhelming.

"Yes Emmett. I must go alone. He didn't ask for the family. Just me."

He sighed. I rolled my eyes.

_Dude's got to give us something more to work with… You don't suppose_…

"No." I said flatly. I saw what he saw. Saw me choosing to take a bite of the offered apple and go back to never kill Bella. That would never happen.

I might not be able to resist the temptation of the gift but I would never change anything that led me to Bella. As dark and twisted as our life was right now—I would never give up my life with Bella.

She was mine. I was hers.

"She's one of us Em," I turned to reinforce my point. "That never changes." He nodded in agreement. Once you went Cullen… well… it was physically impossible to go back.

We smirked in the darkness.

Then I scowled. It was rather confusing though. Why me? And why now? What did he have to do with my mother?

_Edward_… Bella's voice was whispering across my mind. The rain began to fall faster now—the ripples of one drop bleeding into the ripples of another. Each wave washed over and together in a mess of chaos but perfected fate—the water could not escape the change that the rain made upon its surface. Destiny.

_Edward_…

I shook off the voice. It had been calling to me since she left. Whatever part of her mind that was now embedded in mine would just always call for me.

_Go home_…

I nodded in agreement. She was right. Whether that is where he meant to find me or not it was where I should go. Home. The Masen household. The one that I had kept the deed to since my death in 1918. The place that I used to drag my prey to every night of my ravenous murdering spree.

I sighed.

Alice was leaning against the porch railing when I came around from the back. Her arms were folded and her eyes were black not with thirst but with anger.

"Not fair!" I chuckled.

She hated the impotence of dark visions… and one more side affect of Bella's gift was messing with Alice's. Because her minds were always thinking on levels and in spaces that were out of the realm of reality Alice could not always read them. Decisions were not always made… truth was not always black and white. And thus Bella was shrouded in darkness. As now was I.

"You'll learn to figure it out." I offered as I got in to the Volvo. It was some remnant of Bella's gifted side when I said something like that. Some dormant part of my mind that just knew that Alice would eventually gain access to seeing all of these minds… It was unnerving at best.

Alice stuck out her tiny tongue as I pulled out on to the dirt path.

I was laughing out loud in the car once I was alone in the darkness of the highway. It was an odd sensation. That part of my mind that told my body how to laugh associated the situation with the action and made my body follow out the command. But humor escaped me.

The emotional Edward was asleep—dormant. Lying on its back in the wilderness of Alaska.

I could hear her laughing in my mind. She found that funny… Wish I could remember what funny felt like.

_Bella_… my mind whispered back. I didn't know how I knew but I knew that she would hear it.

It had been the simplest transition. Once Bella was alone and able to truly focus on her power—she just made it click.

One moment I was drowning in despair and unable to even think her name—and the next I was just in control. That part of me was still very much present. He was just asleep. Which was good. He would keep me from the task at hand and it was extremely important that I be unhindered right now.

The family was busy waiting. Esme and Carlisle were handling the final act in the life of Charlie Swan. A tragic car crash with Chief Swan and his darling daughter. Now Bella's death was complete. She was freed of the human confines of her past. Now only her memories remained. Bella Swan was dead. Bella Cullen could live.

_Edward_…

I stopped the car at the gate of the family estate. It wasn't lavish or ostentatious. But neither was it plain and shabby. The Masen house had been more than a home to me. It had fostered the very music in my soul for so many years. And now it was covered in the midnight hour.

Everything was dark to human eyes as I walked across the still well manicured lawn. And the single key that I kept on my key ring besides my car key allowed me access inside.

I had made a point of continuing to keep the house in order since I came to own it in 1918. I had spent only one year living in the place since my vampirization but every room was just as spotless as it had been when my mother lived here. Every rose bush was trimmed to perfection and each linen on the beds was clean and fresh. Like my new vampiric body—this house was frozen in time. Some dark secret that I refused to let go of. Some promise that I felt I needed to hold on to.

_Edward_…

I shook my head again at the sound of her voice.

I walked into my mother's room first. It was truly terrifying to be here. Though I had spent my entire vampire life aware of how I had died I had spent it with the utmost respect and love for the woman who had taken my life.

She was my mother. What else could I do but love her?

Now that I was joined with Bella, I could see the entirety of my life as well. It was not a pretty story to see in full. But it would help me to understand what called me back here now.

I watched my mother's bed in silent fear. What had happened in this place so long ago that linked her to the darkest of our kind? What linked him to me? What possessed her to call him back to her?

I ran my fingertips along the cold wood of the dresser under the window. This is the site of my first death.

I put my palm flush against the wood in the exact spot where my young body had laid. My right hand pressed into the wood—making a groove in the shape of my hand in the pliable fibers. My left hand twitched to mark the wood where my dead brother Anthony had lain.

I balled the fingers instead of following the compulsion. I didn't know why. But that side of the dresser frightened me… frightened that part of my mind that understood fear… that part of my mind that I no longer was joined to. My body just followed the impulse to deny the action.

"It's just a cabinet Edward," Her voice was louder now. I nodded to agree with the assessment but I still refused to touch the wood.

"What makes you so afraid?" Was Bella to become my conscience now as well… that seemed fair. I valued her opinion above all others.

I shrugged. I had no real reason why my brother's death scared me. I had lived almost a hundred years without ever knowing he existed.

She laughed. I could almost hear the sound echo in the empty room. "How I miss you my love." I smiled—no the body followed the nerve processors that told me to smile. Smiling was to show happiness and I no longer understood what happiness was.

"Will you show me your room?" She sounded like the Newborn Bella now—all excitement. It almost made me excited… almost made that part of me that knew what that meant feel that way.

"Yes," I turned toward the door to head towards my room.

I froze.

Bella was standing in the doorway. She was real. She was solid. She was beautiful.

"Bella…" I breathed. I was across the room in a heartbeat. On my knees before her like a most devoted monk kneeling before his alter of worship.

Her eyes followed me and danced between amused and confused when I was before her. I dared not touch her… to touch her would be a challenge to my sanity. I would truly go insane if I found out that Bella was not real.

"I'm as real as you need me to be Edward," she ran her hand down my cheek. I sighed.

That emotion of peace and love was pulsing through my chest. Not an echo of what those words used to mean but the real raw emotion.

"You are here." I smiled. Not just an action but the actual feeling of happiness that knowing she was here brought me.

She smiled in response.

"Yes Edward," a male voice behind me said.

I looked up at Bella—she had her eyes fixed behind me back towards my mother's bed. She was on guard—practically growling in her defense.

I turned slowly to see the intruder over my shoulder.

I gasped.

Erebos stood in the shadow that was cast beside the dresser next to the window. He did not stand there like other beings—physical in the world but covered in the lack of light. He was a part of the darkness.

Where his hair and eyes and clothing was the pitch of black that was the shadow—he simply did not exist. I could see the grain of the wood of the wall behind the colored irises of his black eyes. I could see the nails and paint and lines running down through his missing body though I was sure he was there.

His pale skin was solid and firm. And his razor sharp white teeth did not give way to the structure behind him.

He was truly the stuff of nightmares. And as I sat with my ethereal mate in front of me I was locked in the hypnotic glare of the creature behind me. He placed his left hand on the unmarked spot on the dresser top—the spot where Anthony had died.

"Welcome home…" his voice was darker than the shadows. "son."


	14. Chapter 14: The story of Erebos

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**WARNING- Erebos is about to show you some true evil... or at least the life without a soul. Heart of darkness and disturbing images ahead.**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

"When one creates phantoms for oneself, one puts vampires into the world, and one must nourish these children of a voluntary nightmare with one's blood, one's life, one's intelligence, and one's reason, without ever satisfying them" Elphias Levi.

**Answer:**

Chapter 14: Vampire Genesis or The Story of Erebos

**\/Darkside\/**

(This is just a glimpse in to his past. He is not speaking to anyone. No one but you and I and Erebos himself know this story... for now. Ps. Erebos is without humanity... this chapter is pretty gruesome. And make sure you're taking notes… there just might be some answers falling into place…)

**Erebos POV**

**The Master's children.**

Time did not exist when I was born.

The world moved. And the sun rose and fell. But there was no measurement of the years. Days. Hours. Minutes. Seconds. Breaths. Births. Deaths.

Deaths.

I was an only child. The female that birthed me had carried two before me. Both had died. The female that birthed me carried two after me. Both had died.

I was an only child.

My world was not like yours. It was simple. We survived. We did not live. Living suggests some culture. Living suggests civility and language.

We survived. Food. Water. Sleep. Sex. Man. Woman. Child. Birth. Death.

Death.

Growth.

I was curious.

No other being around me was. They did not care. They survived. I cared. I watched. I learned. I evolved.

I had no use for the ones who made me once I could walk and hunt. They had served their purpose.

I suppose it will disgust you to know that I killed them. I was curious. I had seen the insides of the animals that I ate. I wished to see the insides of those who had created me.

I was curious.

They were not impressive on the inside. Just dead bodies. Organs. Bones. Blood- lots of blood. _Blood running down my fingertips. Blood flowing in to my mouth_. Teeth. Flesh. Blood. Screams. Death.

But that was all that they were- Just bodies. What did that say about my birth? Was I not unique? Was I just another human child? Was it something lacking in me or was it something that never existed in them?

I was curious.

It was a hunger- curiosity. It was more than a passion. A drive. A power against my will. No… I had no will. The human spirit was not invented until man created his gods. Until then, we simply survived.

Mind. Intellect. Love. Heart. Soul. None of it existed when I was born.

Soul. None.

Curious. Curiosity. It killed the cat. And so did I. Cats made a lot of noise when they were skinned. My parents were silent when I removed their flesh. Torn with my young claw-like fingernails. Stripped from their bodies while they slept in the early morning light. Dissection of the parents in order to understand the child.

Parents. Mother. Father. Son. Daughter. Family. That concept was not placed on those bodies until I was taught it by the sweet Lilly. They were man and woman. Male and female. The two who had created me. Just bodies.

And yet they did not create me. He. Him. _The Master_ created me.

Time had no meaning. I aged. Grew taller. Grew stronger. Developed a taste for blood- crimson libation. It flowed so sweetly across the lips. A knowledge. It held the secrets of creation. All creatures that lived could not without blood.

A body could live without a limb. Live without some flesh. But it died without the blood. Blood was life. Blood could fuel my hungers... all of them.

When he found me, I was not much different than I am today.

He was serpent. Long and sleek. Clever. Beguiling. But then, so was I. I was man, but my tongue could lash like the serpent's. My body could move in unnatural ways. And I was beautiful.

I had no age when I was changed. Years had had no meaning. Not yet a man but no longer a child. I had desire. I had power. I had experience. No longer a child.

He followed me in the shadows- tempted me in my lustful questioning.

_Follow me_... he would hiss. His snake eyes, red and piercing, watching me as I hunted. He laughed, hissing high and sharp, when I killed another human to feed. It was just another animal to me. Another dead body. Except that human blood was more delectable. Sweeter. Female human blood was the sweetest. My mother's had been like pure sugar.

I had no other use for humans. They were food like bears and lions. They were blood for my nourishment. Flesh. Blood. Teeth. Hunt. Hold. Release.

He hissed his approval.

_Follow me_...

I was never apposed to the proposition. Never did I doubt what he offered. I was curious. I was starved for his answers.

When I offered him my chest he bit above my heart- I was reborn. This was the birth I was supposed to have. This was the life that should have ripped from that female's womb.

Creature. Immortal. Strong. Fast. Frozen. Dead. Living.

Blood. Venom. Other.

His venom burned. Sweet fire- fire that changed my blood to match his poison. Blazing metamorphosis. Knowledge. Infinite knowledge. My mind grew- I could know myself. Time. Do more than just survive.

My body surged. The strength. Yes, the power. It was intoxicating. It was desire. Blood. I wanted more blood. Blood held all the answers.

Blood…

I followed him. He taught me but never spoke. I followed him. Death. Life. Hunt. Kill. Learn. Grow. He showed me the world. I had new eyes—I could finally see everything. I followed him.

_You will never die… You will never age… You will shape this world._ His words were a constant echo in the farthest reaches of my mind. His presence ever pulsing through my frozen veins in the venom of this new life.

I followed him. Time was beginning to have more value. Days. Nights. Not that many passed before he led me to her. Illilyana. Lilly- The mother.

Her blood was not tempting—but it called to me. Sung to me—a siren's call. A sweet symphony of music that played across all of my senses—teased my instincts with whispered promises that I had not dreamt of desiring. The only music my world had ever known. It did not exist before her.

She stood by the river with her family behind her. Her mate and her son were splashing in the clear blue water.

Her blood was not tempting… to drink. But her scent was enough to drive my immortal mind insane.

She was not afraid as I approached in the midday light. My incandescent skin was enchanting to her- not threatening as it was to the others. And her heart may have raced from the anticipation of my arrival but the increasing flow of her blood did not tempt me… to drink. She smelled of spring flowers and winter snow… some combination of renewal and ending. Of life and death.

Her blood may not have made my throat yearn to drink but his did—her son's. His blood was so pure. _So innocent_. My mouth had swum in venom at the hint of him on the breeze. He was childhood. He was newness. His scent was of chastity and summer rain. Once I was before them- I wanted only to drink every drop of his blood.

His blood was derived from hers- _from the mother's blood_. It would hold truths and secrets about her blood and I would never have to taste the nectar of her veins to know them.

She was attracted to this body… She desired this form. I was instantly aware of hers. I had never considered attraction. Her mate seemed threatened by her ease in my presence. He could sense this connection building between us too.

_Curious_.

She was protective of the child- inconvenient but hardly a complication. The male… her mate, tried to fight me. He was dealt with swiftly. His neck was no more than a twig in my grasp. She did not cower. She did not cry for his death. But she would not allow me the child's life too.

It was frustrating. I had no desire to kill her. My desire to understand that impulse drawing me to her, told me to not kill her out of rage. She must survive to give me the answers I required. But I had to have the boy—_had to taste her secrets in some way_.

She growled when I crouched before her. She could not fight me. My head cocked to the side when I realized that she would try. I realized also that she was with child. She was not far along but I could distinguish the smaller, more rapid, heartbeat growing in her womb.

My lips pulled back from my glistening steel teeth. _I wanted the boy_.

She clenched her fists. Her green eyes were bright and hard. And her bronze hair was like shadow kissed flames that blew around her shoulders in the wind.

_I could not hurt her_. The impotence that the thought brought made me lust for the ability to hurt her all the more. I would not be defeated by such a lower being. But her blood sang to me… called my other senses. Teased my other instincts. Tempted some dormant part of me to show mercy.

_Mercy_? What use did I have for that? Blood was life. Humans were food. But as I watched the woman practically shake with the determination to protect her child… I granted the plea. She was a much higher being than any other human I had known. She was passion. She was rage. She was love.

I could not hurt her. And she would not let the boy be hurt. I was defeated.

I was ready to leave her. Watch her and study her but give up the hunt of the child... but _he_ had other plans. He wanted her. _For me_.

For me?

_Yes_... he hissed. _Call her to us. She will join us_. This was more tempting than his other promises. This was the greatest curiosity of all… would she want this? Would she choose this?

If her choice was left to just my power to persuade her alone… she might have died at the river beside her child that day. But _he_ was with me…

And his eyes were no less lethal on her mind than they had been on mine. I extended my hand… Anticipation… Desire… Hope. I felt hope. For a moment she was still. I could see the curiosity dawn in her eyes- knew that she could not resist the temptation anymore than I had. She touched my hand and was mine.

Ours- the Master and I.

Music. Sweet symphony.

She lowered herself to the Master's will—offering her chest as I had done to his promise. And the child was left unguarded.

His green eyes, so much like his mother's, were wide with the terror. I was terrifying. I would destroy him. His golden hair was spiky and stuck out in disarray around his scalp.

He whimpered on his knees. Frozen by his fear of me. He watched me approach and stared deep in to my pitch black eyes when I launched for his throat.

His plea for his mother's help was torn from his throat with my teeth.

The blood was rich. I moaned from the pleasure of tasting her through him. Music. Beautiful music. Singing under my skin and across my mind.

I could hear her body resisting the burn of transformation. I knew that this blood would be frozen and changed in her body. I relished that I could drink of this vessel in her stead.

All too soon, the boy dropped in to the river—drained and no longer useful.

I was wild with her blood. My skin buzzing with a false life. And my mind flying from her taste.

She was writhing on the ground from the blaze within her skin. I hissed through my teeth as she groaned in her pain. The emotions born in me in her presence were growing stronger.

_Curious_. I had never felt… _anything_ before. But as I watched her I felt… anguish. I wished I could protect her as she wanted to protect her child. The screams of her pain were like shocks to my heart- my dead frozen heart.

But her blood was also changing my mind… opening my body to other needs… other wants. She lay naked on the grass. My body responding to the sight. Hard. Lust. Want. Sex. Need. Restraint. Release.

My hands caressed every inch of her burning body. I was not in control—her blood was driving this psychosis.

The Master smiled.

He hissed his approval of this mate for me. I was unsure. I had no need for a mate… but I was curious. What would it be like to share this eternity with another?

I sat beside her… denying all thirsts as she changed. Touching her… exploring her. Burning myself in the flames of her blood. I spread her legs and felt a more desperate insanity. Why did it taunt me so—the image of her open for my taking.

Three sunrises turned her into an immortal of such beauty that I was overcome with a wild lust. This body yearned for something other than blood… a knowing of a physical gratification beyond feeding.

Why? I had to know why?

She was still… her eyes closed. But I had to know why. I thrust in her as deep as my body could go… She did not open her eyes but her lips parted and she breathed deep. I lowered my lips to her breast. Had I ever really looked at a woman's breast? I would never have a need to do so again—none could ever compete with Lilly's.

The Master hissed. _Yes_…

I thrust into her again. This time she arched her back—a gentle whimper on her lips. The world was singing. I was no longer in control.

Her hands found their way to my hair when I moved in her once more. Now sounds were escaping me. Emotions building to some great unknown. I moaned against her chest. Her fingers gripped my hair—and pulled.

My head was ripped from her chest and her eyes opened wild and scarlet. She launched at me tore my throat out as I had done to her son.

I writhed in the agony and the Master hissed a laugh across my mind.

_Open your eyes_… he hissed. I obeyed to find the sky above me. My hands found that my throat was intact and my eyes saw that Lilly had not moved from her pyre of transformation.

It had been a dream. Fueled by her blood?

The hissing laughter in my mind confirmed it to be truth. Her son lie dead in the river and her immortal body lay waiting to be awoken.

She opened her eyes. They were scarlet and no longer shone with the natural innocence of their former green. Her skin was shimmering in the afternoon sun to match my own.

Her hands rested on her stomach—smoothing over her second sacrifice for this new destiny. Her unborn child was now frozen within her—forever.

Her eyes focused on me. She did not speak to me. With words. But her eyes told me the secrets of her soul. Betrayal. Hurt. Pain. Evil. Death.

She longed for death.

Unlike the dream—I knew I could not touch her. I would never touch her.

The Master laughed—hissing high in the quiet daylight. _You will be my children. You will shape a world in our new image. Create our race. I will give you power. I will give you gifts. You will live forever… and you will never age_.

She never removed her eyes from me as he spoke across our minds. He was fading from this world. We could feel that. He flowed in our bodies through his venom—enough only for this one female and one male. We were changed anew with this transference.

Unto her he blessed his gift to grant immortal life. She would never crave human blood. She was to be the mother of our race- able to bite and not feed. Her eyes would turn golden from her duty to preserve our kind. Nourishment over death. Loyalty over murder. Love over hate.

Unto me, he granted his darkness. His sorceress ways. He was not of this world… but he inhabited the serpent in order to find us. I would not only inhabit this form. I would be able to grant the gifts from his venom… these talents that defied the precious laws of this Earth's nature. I could use them all or grant them to others. Unlimited. Unrestrained. Invincible.

But trapped we became from these blessings. The duties that they required were an immortal prison.

We were too different to ever be together. But our purpose dictated that we never be apart. We walked for a hundred human years—never speaking, as we sought our children.

Throughout our time of travel we developed our way of creating life. We established the boundaries of our race. We made our compromises of what we would both want from our kind… and our battle began.

She was given a soul to ensure she would never harm her children. She knew that I was without the notion. I had none before and would only destroy one now. Her private joke against the fatal choice that she made was to grant every child of this race with their human soul. None of the immortals born from her venom… the only venom that would beat in an immortal's body… would lose their souls.

Damn her. I could not deny what part of her self she passed on through her gift. I could only try to balance it with some darkness. They might have a conscience that sought to never harm humans but I would give them a burning thirst… and the knowledge that the human's blood was the sweetest they might drink.

She cursed me with her mind that day.

I smiled my wicked smile and pressed on. I would not grant gifts to all. There had to be a balance. I could not study the affects of our race on this world, or the choices that they would make having a soul in these bodies, if there was not some conflict. Some uneven power struggle that kept them out of a state of peace. Peace was easy to understand. Conflict was fascinating to dissect.

The darkest gift that I kept was his… the Master's. The purest most powerful talents were his alone. I could become one with the darkness through this talent… and I could know everything if I could only keep it long enough. This gift became a part of my body… my venom. If I were to bite a living creature… they would have a direct link to this gift too.

But I did not bite. That was her duty. I would stand by… in the darkness of the transformation and grant the gifts that I saw suitable for the life being selected.

One hundred years from that day by the river we found them… the first. Our children.

**\/Darkside\/**

**The Italians. The wolves. The building of the legends.**

Cauis was the first. She did not want to change him.

The crazy wizard and his superstitions. She rolled her eyes when I led her through the shadows to his door. A frightened creature- drenched in his fear of the unexplained in this world. I liked him.

He had a pit at the bottom of his home where he committed unspeakable crimes to better understand the human race. Bodies. Magic.

I liked him.

She did not.

"He cuts the heads off children. And he peels the skin from women." I raised my brows at the unspoken question.

"We were not charged to make a race of monsters… but a race of higher beings."

"Perhaps your institution of the all mighty soul will teach him an eternity of humility." I hissed.

She rolled her eyes again. She had denied me for longer than I appreciated. Every choice I made she refused. And I was powerless to her power. I could not bite and not feed.

"I will not beg." I said melting into the darkness.

She hissed at my shadow.

I was pleased to see I had spurred her. She would tell me it was her choice alone… I knew better. That lesson I had learned well.

It was easy for her to ensnare them. She was beautiful. And I could never touch her.

"What is you name?" She whispered. I was the darkness around them. I melted into the darkness inside of him. She reached out her hand… biting his wrist once it was in her grasp.

_Yes_… I hissed across his mind. I was the burning of the venom. That pain that would change his flesh. I drank of his final blood—bent the potential inside of him to my will.

He had no true talents that I wished to explore. I simply wanted my monster. Wanted the one who would fear the world enough to create the fear in others. He was the first.

And so it began.

Cauis did not need to follow us. But he would not leave us alone. He grew on my nerves very quickly. How she would laugh at my expense.

"I think I should create a spell for that…" he would say. I wanted to rip out his throat every time that he spoke.

"More discretion next time?" Was all she would say.

We found the brothers quickly. I needed something to distract from the idiot conjurer. Perhaps with more than one child we parents could be separated from the race.

Aro's mind had taunted me for months before we finally found them. He reminded me so much of my self. A constant thirst for knowledge. And a hidden potential—this one would know your thoughts. Yes. The first gift I could bestow. Psychic.

I got a flash as I thought the word- _Green eyes and bronze hair._ I looked at the mother—was it her? I did not think so. What did it mean? Another flash-_ wide chocolate brown eyes filled with wonder_. I shook my head. Cauis better not be up to his damn tricks again.

_Come_. I said simply across Aro's mind. He was older than I was when I had died but younger than the boob magician. He brought with him his younger brother—Marcus. This one would have a talent too. Relationships. Kinship. Bonds. He could sense them. With his new immortal eyes he would see them too. Another flash—_gold hair and strong emotions_.

Tapping in to the talents that I had stored for our race was truly driving me insane.

"What is your name?" She asked of the boys as they stood before her. Why did she care what to call them? That was hardly a question burning in my curiosity. I would rather know why Aro smiled a knowing smile even in his human form. Why Marcus surveyed his new parents as if he could already see our bond.

_Wouldn't you like to know_. A tiny voice sang in my mind. A girl's voice. One I had never heard before. One I was sure did not even exist… yet.

I would like to know. But that was for later. I floated into the bodies of the boys as they were chosen by the mother.

They would be strong. They would live long. And they would drink human blood.

Lilly hissed across my mind as I laughed in the darkness.

**\/Darkside\/**

It was almost two hundred years later that Aro intrigued me to push us to Egypt. Humans and their gods. Aro laughed as they bowed to our shinning bodies in the light.

We were hardly gods. We were just beings—different and other from them. Superior surely, but of this earth—bound to it with a fierceness unlike humans. Lilly believed in the soul. Believed that it left this world in death. Believed that we denied some higher calling by chaining ourselves to these bodies for all eternity.

It was maddening.

She hated this reality. Hated either being thought a monster or a god. It drove the 'family' apart. I for one could not welcome it sooner.

Our sons formed their coven—The Volturi they called themselves. They would be legends. They would be fierce. They would be ruthless.

I smiled.

Lilly glared at me that day too. I encouraged the endeavor—curious to see what would happen. It had been centuries since I was curious about anything… other than the girl's voice in my head.

It was rather fascinating to see the boys set out. Could our kind live amongst the creatures that we ate? Humans lived with cows.

Lilly rolled her eyes again. I was curious.

I was proud but I warned them. There had to be an order—a balance. They could build their precious city. Form their precious society. But only she and I could grant the immortal life.

We were alone again.

Lilly took refuge on her hillside. I traveled the shadows and watched the dawn of man. Watched the killing and death that seemed so violent to her mind committed by creatures born with souls.

Hypocrisy.

I wondered at the desire to create more children. What ours were busy doing in their newly named Volterra.

I watched them. In their minds and through their gifts. I knew that Cauis and Marcus had chosen wives. Wanted them changed. They were also building a guard… yes. I was helping them find recruits. Ones with potential.

I was often called back to her. I would drift through the shadows. Inhabit the beings and grant my gifts or deny them as they changed. It was a monotonous existence. I no longer had questions. I just wanted death.

Blood.

I ate fifty humans a day. Caused cities to believe plagues were causing the masses to die. I was a plague… a black death that floated into their lives. I simply could no longer remember why it was important for any humans to survive.

Lilly hated me even more those days.

I found that that emotion could hang on inside of me—hate. I hated her as well. I hated that voice… that tinkling bell tone of what I was calling the devil nymph that laughed at my lost desire for knowledge.

She believed she knew everything. I would relish the day I found her. I would keep her alive for a thousand years just to torture her properly.

But unlike the others whose minds I knew before they were chosen… I could not see her. I could see the patient doctor with blond hair. I could see the caring brunette who would rival my Lilly as the strongest eternal mother. I could see the wicked goddess who would seek to destroy all who loved her. And I could even see the two who would end my life… but I could not see her.

Impotence. Darkness. Something beyond darkness—beyond my reach. I did not like it.

The nymph laughed. The serpent hissed. And Lilly hated me.

**\/Darkside\/**

I had had enough. My children had created myths of our race that made us a mockery. Humans believed they could pick up a pitchfork and drive a block of sharpen wood through our hearts and we could die.

The god of man had no power over me… over any of us. He was no more than fiction in a book.

It was time.

I had been toying with the idea for some time. Building a discipline in the darkness. I practiced on animals.

A legion of creatures were now immortal and at my command. Beasts had no free thought and so they had no free will. Once changed by the venom—they were my slaves.

That's when I created them. The wolves.

I bred a race of my own desire. Half human. Half wolf. Immortal. Strong. Deadly. Fascinating.

I called upon the magic deep inside me—the real magic. Not the trickery of Cauis but the blackness of the Master. I pulled the spirit of my wolf sons and placed them in the empty souls of the humans who lay dying from my venom.

She never knew. She was locked in her sanctuary. Praised by our race. She didn't even think to remember me.

Soon I had a new race of my own. The wolves. Children not of the moon… but of my darkness.

They would spawn myths of their own. But once changed they simply were animals at my mercy.

I wanted to see what it would do. How my other children would react. To have real opponents. To have to truly fight to survive.

Curiosity. My old friend.

Damn that woman.

Giving them human forms. Giving them free will. My call was still a powerful charge in their minds but they could chose to not become the wolf.

Damn her for that.

And damn her for building the army. She'd never tell them. Our children. None but the three had ever seen my face. I was the myth that myths feared. It would be pointless to even try to explain my motives or my actions.

She simply blamed nature. The balance. Which I was. Wolves were to be the vampire's mortal enemy.

So be it. My dear.

My captain was given the order. Unleash hell upon the damned.

I crouched in the shadows and watched.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Massacre.**

"What would you change?" She sat atop the hillside. Her children beneath us. The last that would be changed by her venom alone. Her golden haired god leading the troops.

She did not answer me.

"Is there nothing then?" I prompted. Just desperate to hear her voice one last time.

"Why don't you come out of your shadows if you are so desperate for my answer." She hissed.

She did not move to acknowledge me. I took solid form and stood behind her—surveying the army that she loved to hate so much. That Jasper truly was a lethal creature of war.

"Leave him alone." Her words rung out in the open afternoon air like bells at a funeral.

"He was the last. The final one to receive my curse. He is my son—the one that you can not touch. He has no memory. He will never have a choice to make that will put him in your hands."

Ah, precious Lilly and her human soul. "He will live for a very long time." My voice was just as final as hers. "Regrets are not only a human frailty." My hand reached out to caress her silky hair. The wind blew the long strands close to my skin, but I could not touch her. "He will find something he wants to die for someday and that will be more important than not wanting to be my slave."

Love. What a preposterous concept. Survival of the fittest meant only one could survive. Love was only weakness.

"You will not touch him. I can see her. You cannot. She can see you… and all that you do. And all that you change. And she will never have a choice to make. He will live for her. He will be free of you. I can see her…" Her whisper of the devil nymph enraged my anger. I would find her someday. Now I was one step closer. I knew this boy would be hers… I would follow him.

"She will know. She will keep them safe."

Damn it all! I wanted no talk of that bitch today.

"Tell me now." I demanded. She could not deny me forever. Could she?

"I have no choice that I would make. Is that not your curse from this little game that you play? That you see the outcomes of the choice and bend it to your will. Don't you see that the only thing I would have done differently would be to save my son."

I growled behind her. Would she never let that debt go?

"And you would have bitten me regardless… I would become this leech no matter what I did. So no. I have no choice. Ponder that for all eternity."

She stood and faced me then. It had been over two hundred years since we had been this close in the flesh. She was draped in white—ethereal in every sense of the word. Her golden eyes were miniature suns embedded in her glorious face. And the lines of that face were drawn in motherly determination as they had been the day she died.

"Do it."

I called my general—Murat—from the darkness. I melted in to the shadow and watched as she was torn to pieces by the wolf's vicious teeth. The fire she had burning beside her seemed innocent until she was tossed upon it.

I sneered as her precious Jasper stalked my general into the woods. I would that I could kill him.

_You know the rules_… hissed the serpent in my mind.

I watched as the white smoke drifted to the heavens. No other of our kind burned white. But then she was the purest of us all.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Carlisle**.

He reminded me of Lilly.

I had seen him for over a thousand years in my mind. Carlisle. The only human that I would be able to change.

I was truly a demon when I found him. Ravaged by my hunger. Running from the pious patrons and their pitchforks. Damn Cauis.

His fear of the wolves and belief that it was some personal vendetta I had upon him had caused the guard to truly become ruthless.

With her death our kind had evolved to find the restraint to change humans. Gifts were still a promise only I could grant but that did not stop the three from building their army.

And they were devout in their rules. The wolves had pushed the Volturi into a corner—one that required ingenuity that I was almost proud of.

They forced our kind—vampires as they now wanted to be called—in to the shadows. Irony. I had always chosen the darkness. Now my children felt trapped by it. They had their lists of proper etiquette and they were not shy of disciplining offenders.

Though I was powerful. I was growing weak without Lilly. The Master wanted two. A light and a dark. A good and an evil. The balance. I had let her die. I was now being punished myself.

I was crazed when he found me. Blood was turning to ash in my throat. Burned off before it could satiate me. I was being punished.

But his blood—it sang to me. There was a touch of Lilly inside him.

I attacked him out of more than one hunger. He had to be my light. He had to put balance back in to my world.

The nymph laughed louder every second.

**\/Darkside\/**

"I'm sorry father," the boy's voice was always so soothing in the morning air.

"I know. You have been planning this for some time my son." He hung his head and sighed. Carlisle. He would be far greater than even Lilly. He embraced humanity… not just the soul but the inherent evil as well.

He would seek to heal the world.

I chuckled darkly. "Go. You know that I will find you when I need you."

He scowled. Impudence. "What of you grand design? Will you still go through with the study?" He couldn't help but be curious either. How I wished that he had warranted a talent. But compassion as overwhelming as his was already too much of a gift in one soul.

"Yes. Though, I have not decided on the tool." He nodded.

"The apple seems appropriate." I laughed at that. Carlisle and his mortal religion. He never ceased to marvel at what he called the vampire Adam and Eve.

"A tad cheeky don't you think?" I scoffed.

"Exactly." He winked and headed off into his great future.

A name. Cullen. Family. Father. Children. Love. Golden eyes.

_Green eyes. Bronze hair…. Destiny_.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Elizabeth**.

Her blood called to me across the very sands of time.

Carlisle had put meaning back into my life. Granted me a new perspective on humanity.

But it had been two hundred years since I let him leave. I was hungry again.

I no longer drank blood. I just survived on the darkness.

If I did not take corporeal form… I did not need to feed. I was drawn to her scent even without a nose to smell it.

Elizabeth was hardly beautiful. To human eyes perhaps she might have been pretty. But I walked amongst those designed to be perfect. I had never known human beauty.

But in her eyes… her green eyes… I could see her soul.

Damn Lilly. I had to admit that day that it existed. The human soul. It was there in that quiet woman's eyes.

Elizabeth was happy. As happy as women were allowed to be. Edward was kind. Attentive. But he was hardly what she desired.

I knew her desires. She whispered them in the darkness of her mind. That first night—when he took her virtue, I was there. I entered his body and participated in the act of love.

It became my new obsession. Loving Lizzie.

I did not always do that—entering Edward. I wanted to see how she reacted. If she knew that something was different when I was inside of him.

She did not disappoint. Lizzie wanted me too.

She was hungry for what I could give her. Wanted me to be inside of him always. But that meant I had to leave the shadows.

For a mortal woman's love? Why would I even consider it?

The dreams gave me the most disturbing emotion that I had never thought to encounter… fear.

She was tortured by them. She would hurt her self because of them. No one else ever saw them. She only had them on the nights that I was Edward. Like my darkness spilled inside of her with his seed.

She would speak through her sleep of things that I had seen. Fates yet to come. Choices to be made…

And of our son.

It was insanity. I would not take solid form. It was only Edward's life that would grow inside of her womb. But she taunted me with those wakeful dreams.

Spoke of a child both pure and dark. Kind and powerful. Humble but strong. I wanted to know him. I had no soul. No desire of what Carlisle would call a salvation but I began to hunger for that boy.

I took over Edward's body more and more… and her fits grew worse as well.

The day she found out that she was pregnant… I removed myself from the house entirely.

I ran to other side of the world—found a darkness to black for anyone to find me in. The child would not be mine. I had no desire to see _his_ son and wish that it was different.

**\/Darkside\/**

I could not stay away. Nine months to the day that she conceived I came back. I was solid. I wanted to see the child. Know my enemy.

I was a doctor—to their eyes.

The birth was hard on her. I begged whatever god she believed in to help her through it. He could take the child's life—just not hers.

When the boy was born—I almost regretted my words. He did not move. He was dead. It did not bother me that he was dead… that perhaps I had caused his death. But I did not wish Lizzie the pain.

And the sight of the dead infant shocked the truth to my black heart—I would never have a son with this mortal woman.

_There is another_… whispered the nymph.

Elizabeth screamed.

_Another… two sons. One of man. One of demon_.

My immortal mind was frozen.

Elizabeth locked down and bore the second. I could only hope that this was _our son_… that he would survive unlike the weak mortal boy.

But fate had a way of tormenting me. The second… my Anthony was dead as well. I fought to bring him back. I ignored the Edward child out of my hatred for his existence.

His father had never truly loved his mother—not like I had.

But my son was gone. Dead before he could live. I prepared him to leave.

And that creature defied us all.

Edward's heart pounded in his chest. His lungs filled with a sudden burst of air. And his vivid green eyes opened to stare straight at me. His bronze hair was matted to his head from the blood of his mother's womb. And his tiny fists were clenched as if he would fight death itself to survive.

I felt a chill behind me… someone was watching me.

The family rejoiced in the imp's miraculous recovery. I stalked out of the room with my broken child in my arms.

Maybe it was she that I felt watching me leave… Lilly's voice was in my head. _I would have protected my son_. But I knew that my presence in this room would not go unnoticed.

My mind committed the sight of Elizabeth and her Edward to my immortal memory.

**\/Darkside\/**

She was dying. Sort of.

Years of venom in her system had driven her insane. And soon she would no longer be a part of the human world.

He was there. Edward. The boy who would not die.

I hated him. And so Elizabeth would hate him. I saw her attack him. Curious.

_No taste for blood then Lizzie?_

_Carlisle? Don't waste your time… he is nothing important_.

_You know the rules_! Both Lilly and the Master were in my mind then. I collapsed to my knees in the hospital corridor. I could not deny him his gift.

He was the psychic. The one that had haunted me almost as long as the nymph.

_Fine! Take it! I hope it torments you forever. You killed your mother. You killed my son. You are nothing but a murderer_. I hissed across his changing mind. That truth would be imprinted on his venom. He would kill the thing he loved the most in this world.

I would see to that.

**\/Darkside\/**

**The Cullens**.

My son and his family were of the utmost concern.

He was my light. He had to survive.

That devil nymph was with him. I was sure of it. The warrior had joined them. But I was chained to the shadows of the Masen house. I would not leave these walls. So I could not see her.

And she kept them from me.

I pushed them on. Made them find the members I wished to have joined in the coven… a threat of wolves was always sure to rile the former general's nerves enough to comply.

I pushed them to Forks. Knew that something was coming. A powerful force.

A destiny.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Bella**.

Bella was the ultimate question of all. Where in the hell did she come from?

Those damn Italians and their cantantes! The scent of the music on the blood was nothing more than the master's lasting will on this earth. He had some great design. Some reason for bringing some of us together. Like I with Lilly—there was a purpose for these two lives to be together.

Perhaps there were many purposes. There were thousands of tiny choices made in the darkness of young Edward's mind that day in that classroom.

Thousands of tiny conversations that could or could not have taken place in that mind. Thousands of outcomes that could have changed each of the lives around him the second he caught her scent.

There was an apple for each. Somewhere in his life—he could chose to change any number of those thoughts and the world around him would be changed. But would his need for this Bella in his life ever be changed so easily.

I think not. So many questions surrounded this girl when I found her path leading to the Cullens' door. Darkness… oh yes, her life was shrouded in many layers of darkness.

There was the pain of her parents' separation. There was the quiet shyness that she drew herself into. There was a constant blocking of her inner light that covered her in darkness. I fed upon all that she could teach me in her lifetime of night.

She had an awesome potential locked deep inside her. A darkness that I had never witnessed outside of this body. Something that made my millennia old mind remember its first thoughts. A knowledge that seemed to go beyond what I have ever been able to understand.

She could know everything. It was there… imprinted in her very soul. She could know all secrets of herself… and others. Yes… I would have to push her into his arms. Tear down his resistance just this once. He could change it in some later life if he so desired. I had to know… had to see… what she would learn if allowed to develop this gift.

It was all too easy. To enter the darkness of Edward's mind. He denied his eternal soul so easily… how I longed for my Anthony when I saw the torment in Edward. He did not even realize why he was so torn in two. Why he felt this murderous desire.

I locked the good Edward away—bound his hands for just a moment. That was long enough.

I laughed as the children played in the shadows of the forest—enthralled as he suckled the life from her breasts.

And Carlisle. Sweet son. He would never fail me either. That witch had told him to do this… this time it served my purpose as well.

Let this Bella be brought forward. She would seek me out soon enough. Darkness like that which clouded her mind would never be satisfied with the Cullen life. She will look for me. Beg for my teachings. Whether she wanted to or not. Hers was the body that received the Master's last drop. Given by the father to the son and solidified by Carlisle's choice.

Edward's venom brought forth her darkness… together they would be my ultimate study.

**\/Darkside\/**

Questions… so many questions. The world was a never ending span of years. Days. Hours. Minutes. Seconds. Births. Deaths. Questions. Answers…

Always questions. What did it all mean?


	15. Chapter 15: Now comes the night

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

"Now comes the night… Feel it fading away… And the soul underneath… Is it all that remains… So just slide over here… Leave your fear in the fray… Let us hold to each other… Till the end of our days…" Rob Thomas.

**Answer**:

Chapter 15: Forgotten Mother or Now comes the night

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Masen house present day)**

I stared over my shoulder—locked in his words. Son.

Son. Father.

Mother?

_Bella_. I thought. I felt her hand clutch my shoulder in silent support.

Erebos' hand smoothed over the wood in a lover's caress. A shiver ran down my spine. I had never known my brother… but I felt as though I needed to protect him from even the shadow of this creature's touch.

"Do you want to hear a story?" His voice was rough… grainy. Like sandpaper over rich velvet. "Would you like to know a secret?"

I blinked—trying to put depth to his transparent eyes with the force of my stare.

I did not respond.

_Bella_. I thought frantic for understanding.

"Is she here?" His lips curled into a wicked smirk. I knew he meant Bella. I saw an image of her flash across my mind. How odd… I had all but forgotten my own gift since I entered this house with Bella in my mind.

My gift seemed to be nothing more than a part of hers now.

"Yes..." he breathed. To answer no spoken question. I did not respond. If he could not see Bella in front of us then I could not answer him.

"She is not here Edward…" He croaked. I looked up at her with confused eyes. She was there. I could feel her. "She is _here_." His finger touched my temple and I flinched from the contact. He had moved faster than I had anticipated… faster than any other vampire I had ever witnessed.

"I don't move." He offered. "I just am."

I growled. This was getting ridiculous. What did he want?

"Ah, yes…" he smiled at the supposedly spectral Bella. "The secret I promised you." His dark eyes were fixed on me then. I was tempted to reach out and see if my hand would pass through the empty space that was his body.

"Make a choice." He breathed.

What!

Here? Now? I had nothing I wanted to change. But I had many regrets. Would I be foolish enough to change something that would alter my path? I needed more time. I needed to have Bella back in my arms. I couldn't do this so quickly.

"Edward!" He announced suddenly—his hands raised as if my hysterics were out loud. "Be still." He sighed. "Do you want the story or the secret?"

I glared at him. This is why I had opted out of joining the Volturi when I left Carlisle all those years ago. I had spent one day in the presence of Aro… such intrigues were beyond childish. They were ruthlessly exhausting. And vampires never tired of anything.

"Just speak." I chose.

He laughed. Sharp and dark. "Very well… the secret…" He ghosted out of the room by way of darkness. I followed him down the hall. Down the stairs. Through the entry way, across the kitchen and in to the cellar. I stopped- invisible Bella right behind me, at the door.

I had spent most of my childhood in that dark pit under the house. I had found my music down there. Found the true meaning of my life and world in the shadows of that basement. I did not want to know what secrets he had buried under my source of childhood discovery.

"Go." He said simply.

I complied. Each step down to the basement was heavier on my feet. I could hear the boom of my boots hitting the century year old wood with a resounding echo in the quiet space.

Quiet… it should have been quiet. I could… hear whispering.

Something I had not heard in this house for almost seventy years…

_My son… my light… my Edward_…

My mother's voice.

I froze half way down the stairs. The voice was getting louder the closer I got to the darkness. That could only mean one thing.

She was here.

I felt Bella's reassuring hand clutched in mine. Was _she_ really here? Probably not. I could see her lying in that same forest in Alaska. I sighed. I would never wonder what it was like for Bella to fight to define reality again. Mine was just as unsubstantial.

"You can't stop here…" He whispered.

_Edward_… my mother whispered too. The difference in their voice signatures would have been too subtle for someone who had not lived with telepathic abilities for eighty years. His voice was real and coming through his mouth. Her voice… was inside my head.

Not the way Bella's was. Bella was a part of my mind- Another part of my consciousness. But my mother's voice—was just the trace thoughts I was gleaning from her mind.

"What am I going to find?" I asked, scowling at the bottom steps below me. I could not see into the cellar from this perspective. But I could see the floor at the base of the stairs. I could see that there would be an end to this moment of hesitation. I deserved at least some warning as to what I would see when I got there.

"What was it like?" He begged the question in the darkness swirling around me. "When you thought your Bella was dead? What was it like _for you_?"

For me? What love had he lost that he wished to compare my pain to? There could be no other reason for asking his question that way. I pushed out with my mind. He kept his thoughts well guarded. He never thought of anything but what he was looking at. I only saw myself in his mind. I only heard his question echoing in his thoughts.

Damn. I would have to play his game.

He laughed.

"I hardly knew her." I stalled. The pain of knowing that Isabella Swan had died at my hand had crushed me. Every fiber in my soul… if I was to truly believe Bella and Carlisle when they defended that I had such a thing in my body… every piece of me was shattered at the thought that her bright light was extinguished by my darkness. And I had hardly known her.

He laughed again. He could hear my thoughts. I was hardly surprised at that either.

"You knew her all too well my boy." His voice hissed like a serpent's. "You just don't remember."

My scowl deepened. Speaking to him was worse than speaking to my sister. Alice had to guess at the truths in her visions. Erebos had all the answers. He just liked playing with his victims.

"_Alice_." He hissed.

Suddenly my hands were fists. Something in the way he said her name… something that made me feel that I had betrayed my sister's trust by thinking her name. Something that made me think he had never heard her name before.

Not good.

"Be still Edward," he waved his hand again. "A name would not keep me from killing something if I wanted to."

Kill something. Kill Alice.

Rage. RED. Death. Choice.

I launched at the specter and he laughed as I fell through the mist of his body and landed on my chest at the base of the stairs.

That's when I saw her.

My human mother- Elizabeth Masen. She was lying on a bed in the far corner of the darkness. My vampire eyes could see every shrouded inch of the cellar—unlike when I was a child. When I had been human darkness held so many mysteries that it had been my escape. As I gazed at the still form of the woman I thought to be dead for the past eighty years, I realized that there was no longer any place that could hold an escape for me.

I heard Bella gasped as she saw what I saw—in both her astral form and her physical reality in that forest thousands of miles from here. "How?" both Bella's begged.

I had no words that I could form. I stood like that terrified eleven year old again. Like watching my father's broken body dying before my eyes. The years of caring for my mother had made me submissive to her power—the fact that she had ripped my throat out as her last act on earth made me reluctant to rush to her side as well. Bella's fingers laced through mine. She squeezed my hand. "I'm here." She whispered.

_Edward_… my mother thought.

I shuddered.

Erebos was through with laughing. He stood beside her bed—never taking full form, or touching her. He seemed to deny himself the feel of her though it was obvious that he wanted to reach out and touch her.

"The secret," he sighed. "Elizabeth Masen never died."

**\/Darkside\/**

**Vampire BPOV (Alaska same time)**

I gasped again. I would that I could truly be there with him. Edward did not deserve to face any of this alone.

I pushed harder with my mind. The part of me projected in his mind was more real than the me lying here in the pouring rain. She would be strong for him. She would be solid for him. She would not show him the fear she had over being that close to… _him_.

I could feel him—swirling in the shadows around me now. He was no more really with Edward than I was. He had a message to give—a distraction to set up and then he would seek me. That was why I had stayed her faithfully. That is why I had not moved a muscle since I stopped here. He was coming. It was time.

I locked Edward away inside of me. That part of my mind that was not allowing me to move—that called him to us and wanted this meeting to happen, could not deny me the protection of Edward. I knew that I could keep him safe the way Alice had for so long. I was more powerful than Erebos in so many ways.

_Edward_, I thought. _Be strong. Be safe_.

I saw him nod to the me beside him. She was his shield. Erebos could not touch him with her beside him. I steeled myself for the end—but I had to hear the story.

The secret hardly surprised me. I knew too much about Edward's conception. I smelled it on him. The added layers of the Master in him. It was what made me so unique. The combination of what he was and what his venom mixed with Carlisle's could do to me. I was as much Edward's child as I was his lover. He would have to know—his mother was something different because of this venom. That made him something special. And that is what made me.

I closed my eyes and listened.

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV (Cullen cabin Chicago same time)**

I closed my eyes for the thousandth time. Nothing. Darkness.

I groaned. _What does it mean?_

Jazz was around the house in a second. His comforting arms were around me. His soothing hands cupped my face.

"Alice…" he breathed. I inhaled his scent. His scent was so much more unique than any other's. I loved it because it was a mirror of mine. And no one—absolutely no one else in our race had that scent. We were a perfect match. When he made me, bit me, changed me—he created the other half of himself. Daughter and lover.

"What's wrong?" His power soothed my worries—or at least tried to. I was never going to breathe safely until all our family was home. It was gnawing at some deep place inside of me.

The Darkness.

"Why can I never see him? What is it that makes Bella just as vacant now?" Jazz shushed me and continued to stroke my skin. I was wrapped in him, but I felt so naked and alone.

WHY?

Then I saw it.

I gasped. Jazz jumped back like I had struck him.

_Bella was standing on a hill. Erebos standing on her right. Edward standing on her left. They gazed down with lethal eyes. _

_Wolves. There were wolves behind them. A pack of wolves that looked young and green but massive and strong. Something was familiar about the russet colored one that stood behind Edward. An ease was between the two forms. Vampire and wolf not only standing together but in harmony—joined by some unknown purpose._

_At the bottom of the hill stood our family. Jazz and I stood to Carlisle's right. Esme was in front of him and Rosalie and Emmett stood to his left. The Volturi inches behind Rose and Em. My hand was clutched too tight in Jasper's. Carlisle hissed as he turned toward the Volturi._

_The wolves flew down the hill._

Chaos. Questions. Darkness.

I fell to my knees. My hands vices in my hair. Jazz did nothing but stand by me. His support was washing over me with each inconsequential breath that I inhaled. But he made no move to touch me.

I opened my eyes.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Masen house)**

I stood frozen by his revelation. It was an obvious thing looking at her preserved body. But it was unfathomable.

Though many questions were answered in that one statement. When I had found solace in this house during my rebellion, I had been tortured by my mother's voice. I had thought her a lasting part of my conscience that proved I should not become a monster and I should never have left Carlisle.

Now I knew the truth. She was some kind of dark creature herself. What did that say about me? What did that say about my birth—my life? She was not an immortal. Some part of her had died. But she was not human. When did that change occur?

"I fell in love with Elizabeth Masen in the winter of 1899." His voice was airy. Dark. Full of emotion that I could not believe belonged in a shadow that was lighter than air.

"I loved her. Physically. Emotionally. I have the power to possess the living. And Edward Masen was an easy soul to control."

I wanted to be angry about that. Edward Masen was, next to Carlisle, the best man I had ever known. He was truly the person I admired and wanted to become. Again, before I met my immortal father.

"I did not realize that there was a side effect to being intimate even as removed as I was with Lizzie." My mother had never been called that. She detested having her name shortened. The endearment pulled so delicately off of his tongue would have turned my human stomach.

"My venom does not disappear with this form. As you can see where I am not shrouded in darkness—I am whole. To be a part of Lizzie—to join with her in the way my body craved… I had to become solid." I swallowed hard at the thought. He tainted the sanctity of sex for me. Bella's hand squeezed mine tighter. Would I be able to physically join with this apparition beside me as he described joining with my mother?

I thought back to Bella's leaving words in my mind—_I was gone before you kissed me_. Which kiss did she mean? How long had I loved a dream?

"When she pleased me…" I closed my eyes. "She received that part of me into her body. But then, I was not whole. And I often allowed Edward to join with her without me. It was not until the dreams…" I opened my eyes. My mother's nightmares. The terrors that had haunted and ravaged her body and mind for so many years.

I growled at the darkness.

"Yes…" the pain in his voice pulled me up short.

I saw a flash of my mother in his mind. Her body convulsing in pain and fear. Her brow covered in sweat. My father was above her—calling to her. Shaking her to awaken. But I knew that the voice behind his actions was Erebos. I knew that my father never saw my mother have one of those fits.

_I see him_… she whispered in her sleep. Bella had once confessed to talking in her sleep when she was human. _Our son. Our boy. He will be strong. So kind. So loving. Perfect_. I cowered from the memory. It was not something a son wanted to see of his mother. Confessing to a demon that she could see that he would be born—of demonic descent.

I shuddered again.

"Yes, Edward. I fathered two sons with both your mother and Edward Masen. For a long time I had believed one to be mine and one to Edward's but no…" I closed my eyes. Bella's arms were around me now—like a shield against his torment.

"I had mourned Anthony, believing him to be my son. But no." I opened my eyes and glared at the shadow. He would not rob Edward Masen from me. He was my father. I was not evil. Bella had washed that evil from me. I was human—when I was born.

"No, Edward." He stood before me now. His white face some disgusting reminder that he could be both shadow and man. I wished for a human stomach so that I might vomit the bile inside of me.

"You are special. You would have lived immortal without ever being bitten. Just like your mother is now. She had years of my venom building up in her system. Her blood turned half venom from the exposure. You were born of that blood. It's what killed both of you from the beginning. Venom denies a natural birth. The mother's image denies our race any form of natural birth. And the venom attacked the human blood. Anthony was not strong enough. But you…"

I wanted to cover my ears. How could this be truth? It was disgusting. It was revolting. It was evil. I was evil.

_No_. Bella asserted across our shared mind.

"Have you never wondered, since you learned of his existence, why you survived?" I was terrified to ask. My mind was locked down. What more darkness could there be around me?

"You fed."

**\/Darkside\/**

**Gifted BPOV (Alaska same time)**

A memory: _Erebos walking with the fallen Anthony cradled in his arms. The tiny Edward nestled with Lizzie and Edward Masen. His tiny lips pink and his little heart beating strong._

_Erebos ran to the sanctuary of the mother. Since her passing it had been forgotten—run down. But he hid in the darkness and looked over his dead son._

_Too many emotions. Feelings that a six thousand year old creature could not hope to understand all in one moment. His eyes wanted for tears. _

_He licked the blood from the child. It was not only a symbol of his connection to the tiny being but it was Lizzie. Every thought that she had. Every beat of her heart. He would never drink her blood. Not even from her child. But he would cleanse this body with his tongue in preparation for his passing._

_That is when he noticed it. The tear in Anthony's flesh above his heart. A tiny claw like scratch. A mirror image of the marks he had put on his own parents' chest before he was a vampire. Anthony was covered in more than the blood of his mother's womb. He was covered in his own blood._

_Erebos roared. He had drank the blood of the child and he would never be able to touch Lizzie again. He vowed in that moment to destroy the creature that had destroyed his son._

_Perhaps Edward Jr. was a balance of nature. Some creature that was created to eradicate Anthony's existence before he could live. But it was obvious that Edward and killed Anthony. _

I blinked as the vision cleared.

The human part of our mind was no longer willing to shy away from his evil. Edward was not evil. Edward was different. All of us understood that now. But there was much more to learn before we could help him embrace that difference.

The vampire called for me to give her the ability to assure him. I silenced her. He needed a moment of fear. He would have to become strong. It had begun. There was no turning back. He would have to face this evil inside of himself if he hoped to follow through with our joint destiny.

"Hello my dear…" Erebos said beside me.

I turned our head to see him. He stood solid and dressed in a long grey coat. His face was every bit as beautiful as Edward's. His body was not much older than ours had been when we were changed. His eyes were midnight black. And the two fangs that peeked out from beneath his upper lip were intriguing to me.

"Are you ready for the lesson to begin?" He hissed.

We nodded. We stood.

He reached a hand out to us.

"Make a choice."


	16. Chapter 16: Hidden Monsters

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: **

What does your mind tell you when you sense something is wrong? What are the words that will make you stop following the course you are on and turn around? When all hope is lost… where do you find the light through the dark?

**Answer:**

Chapter 16: Life Lesson or Hidden Monsters

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Masen cellar)**

I was sitting on the floor, against the wall in the farthest corner from her lifeless body. _He_ had left—vanished once he finished explaining.

Bella stood between the bed and where I sat.

"Edward?" She had been trying to get my attention for the last two hours. I just kept staring at my hands. Slow breaths—in and out. No real need to do anything. Vampires never had to move if they didn't want to. The Volturi were said to have sat for the last thousand years of their lives hardly moving.

Cauis had all but become stone after the wolves killed his wife.

"_Edward_…" She sounded more annoyed now. That was good. She had been angry at first. I don't like angry Bella—not unless she was really near me. Anger always led to exploration. I smiled my crooked smile. Oh how I missed exploring my love's body.

"I'm right here Edward… if you want to do that… I'm right _here_." Tempting. But I just gripped my hands tighter together.

"Edward!" Ah, angry Bella returns. "Look at me!" She fell to her knees in front of me. I could almost feel the air being pushed towards me as she moved. It was such an authentic trick that her talent pulled on one's senses. "Edward! I'm right _here_! I am as _real_ as you…"

"No you're not." I said flatly.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I _had_ decided not to humor my insanity—not to acknowledge her at all. She was a figment—whether created by my mind or Bella's to protect me, she was not _real_. What was real? I dug my nails in to the flesh of my hand. Pain. Torn skin. No blood. Was any of that real?

_Edward_… a silent voice whispered in my mind. Was she real? A woman who should have died when I became a creature of the night? Ludicrous! Nothing in this world of shadows could possibly be real! Monsters didn't really exist. No one could really live forever. No real person could read peoples minds.

I ran my tight hands through my hair. My vision shifted to the black dirt beneath me. How did one make sense of this? What was I to do now?

"Talk to me." Bella's tiny voice pleaded. She sounded so sad. My eyes found hers against my will. I was a slave to her. Her sadness made me protective—made me want to banish the emotion from her. She may not be real but I would not have even a thought of my Bella be in pain.

She reached out her delicate hand and smoothed the worries from my cheek. "Good boy…" She breathed. I found myself melting into her touch. "Such a good boy, Edward…" She was relaxing between my now open legs. My hands lay open to her and my body gave up. I was too easily won where Bella was concerned. "Talk to me my love."

I nodded. _Yes_. I would do whatever she asked. "What is happening to me?" My voice cracked with fear. I felt weaker than I had ever felt before. I was so lost. Vulnerable. Empty.

"You're on a journey right now my love. We all are. This was just the first step." She explained. I wanted to hang my head and give up—to yell at Bella to leave and find someone stronger to stand by her. I was not someone worthy of her courage. I wanted nothing more than to hide. I could not fight anything anymore—especially without her.

The sound of the slap resounded in the darkness before I actually felt the sting across my cheek. I growled instinctually- my eyes narrowing. She was hunched in to a fighting crouch by the time I focused my eyes back on her. "Stop that." She growled.

I wanted to be angry at her—but the hatred was fading as soon as I looked into her eyes. _Yes master_. I thought. _Anything for you Bella_. I did not matter anymore. The second slap should not have been a surprise. I could only defend that I was a slow learner when it came to many things Bella. I took the second beating with even more subservience. She could do whatever she wanted to me. It didn't matter anymore. At least the pain was some sort of instruction—some purpose before me. Be her servant, do what she commands. I could follow those rules. It was something physical I could do right now.

She laughed hard and dark. "You _are_ weak then!" She sprang on her toes and backed away from my cowering form on the floor. My fists clenched once more. There was a part of me that was shouting to be unleashed. Some dormant part that she was challenging to the surface. But the better part of my mind silenced him. That monster had no place inside of me anymore.

"Let him out, Edward." She hissed.

"No." Bella didn't know what she asked. She remembered the monster that killed her. The playful monster that teased in our passion play but she did not know the evil creature that I had known. The one that thrived on human blood and cared nothing for their lives.

She sparked a struggle inside of me with just her knowing eyes. Though I wished to fight it, my body relaxed to follow her command- and I was only able to pull in my restraint with the eighty odd years of discipline that I had built over the animal.

"It's who you are, Edward. This is what you were born to be. This goes beyond venom and vampires. Look at your mother." _No_! _Bella... why are you doing this to me?_

"I am doing nothing to you, Edward. You are denying who you really are. You have to embrace... everything."

I saw Erebos in my mind. Heard his words once again.

_You survived the death of the venom because you fed its nature with your brother's blood._

I hissed to block out the rest. But I knew I couldn't I saw him standing where Bella now stood...

"_I had believed, at first... I _knew_ that you had hurt him- made your brother bleed in the womb. For a long time I _knew_ that you had killed him. Believed that it was because you were some noble pure creature who was created to stop the miracle of my son from being born. You look just like _her_ after all..._

_But then I realized the truth... you were so much like me in many ways too."_

My hands covered my ears but his thoughts could not be banished from my mind_. _

"_I could not leave this house. I tried. I took Anthony away- buried him in the earth on the most sacred of our lands. But I could not resist coming back here. I thought that it was her- thought that Lizzie was drawing me back. But I had drunk the blood of her son. I was forever banished from touching her flesh. _

_I was trapped to the darkness under the earth- finding solace only in the shadows of this cellar. For five years I was simply a dark shadow in the corner... You found me down here. Your tiny child eyes searching the darkness for the sounds that surrounded me. The music that had been Lilly's call... siren. Cantante. Symphony."_

No… do not rob me of the music too. The music was my soul… and comparing it to him stole that hope from my chest.

"_I taught you to hear it. And as you grew, I tried to deny that I saw my self within you. You look nothing like your mother. You look nothing like Edward Masen. But your nose and your lips and your build are strikingly similar to mine. And your eyes and your hair- those are parts of me too. Not physical traits that I ever possessed. But traits that I have imprinted on my venom... traits that I have held on to for millennia. _

_You belonged down here with me. You loved being down here with me. I spoke to you through the music. I sang lessons to you through the sounds. You heard me in everything- the beat of your mother's heart, and the scratch of the trees on the window. You never tired of listening._

_You are truly an amazing creature, Edward. I could not deny you, though I wanted your death more than anything I had ever wanted before."_

I was beginning to understand such a deep possession of hatred—I wanted his death more with every breath that I took_._

"_I learned too late why it was that you drew me to you. Why I felt violently protective of you even though I had wanted your death so savagely from the moment you were born. For the entirety of your human life I wanted your death. Payment. Vengeance. Retribution for the loss of my Anthony._

_But I was also an appointed guardian over you. I silenced Edward Masen from controlling you. But that robbed you of the music. I whispered to Lizzie the ways to help guide you, but that only drove her into madness that trapped you in servitude. And the irony of that day in the hospital was that I had welcomed the chance for her to kill you. I had told her I would join her if it were not for you. I pushed her to end you. _

_And that was the biggest answer of all... why you must never die."_

I would welcome death now—spare me from this purgatory… No. Bella. I had a reason to live with Bella.

"_I did not learn the truth until you died. Or were reborn... When Lizzie did not die, I started to understand. I studied what was happening to her. Realized that I had changed her. And that is when I realized that there was far more to you than I had thought._

_You will not remember it... your mother kept you here, safe from other children. You were so immersed in the music that you would not remember how different you were. You were fast Edward. You could run faster than any other human I have seen. And though you had compassion and a kind heart, you had a hunger that your mother hid from everyone. You hunted in the woods. You tried to drink the blood of humans."_

My hands are so tight in fists that if I were human the bones would break… what kind of demon was I—am I? How could anyone love this?

"_Listen to me, my son, you have always had traits that make you unique. Lizzie had craved blood when she carried you. I had banished myself from her while she was pregnant but she whispered her secrets once I returned. She would bite Edward Masen while he slept. She would drink small amounts of his blood to fuel her growing needs._

_Yes, she was changed. Not fully what we are. But she wanted to drink blood. She thirsted for what it gave her. When you took over caring for her, you denied that nourishment and she went insane with the hunger."_

I would not apologize for that—turning my mother back into a human being. But her suffering was something that would never cease to torment me.

"_Once she was here, I could study her mind and watch your life play out... I did not understand what you are. And by then, you were changed and even more special because of who had changed you and the potential that lay inside of you because of him._

_And then... I could see her- your Bella. Your future. And I was intrigued to watch the puppet theatre play out."_

I growled a warning in my chest. That sounded like a threat—my Bella. I didn't like the idea that he even knew her name. What plans did he have for her? I could not protect her. She denied me the opportunity.

"_But now it is time for you to face this destiny my son. Know yourself. Embrace your true nature..."_

I snarled. The monster was hissing now inside my head- just as he had the day I killed Bella. _No_! My body locked down. I was not a monster.

"Make up your mind, love." She warned through a dark voice. It sent a chill up my back. She sounded like _him_.

My eyes followed the velvet folds of my love's voice. She was magnificent in her terror before me. I was on my knees before her without ever considering the movement. Slave. Pious minion.

"You... we," she placed her hand upon my cheek. The electricity that joined us surged under my flesh. "We have a great destiny to fulfill. One that we cannot deny. We cannot hide from our true selves anymore." She knelt down- my eyes worshiped her.

I welcomed the slap this time. Pleasurable pain. Stinging bliss. Excruciating sex. The monster growled inside my mind as the burn roused our anger- and our lust. A low rumble rolled in my chest- a warning growl.

My mate's lips sneered in response. A hungry sneer that told me that I would have no problem taking this creature as I had her real body. The monster liked that too.

"Good..." she praised. Her voice was a fog in my mind. Some other being was coming out of me. Something that she understood. But I was still unsure.

Her lips crashed down on mine with a fervor that made me growl. We were suddenly in my bedroom upstairs but I hardly cared to pay attention to anything but her.

"Please Edward..." she begged with breathless whispers. "Please enjoy me. He won't let me out. _I_ won't let me out…" She ran her hands down my chest and I thrust my hips against her instinctively. "I need this."

"What do you mean?" My head was spinning. The monster was ravenous to be allowed to lead this dance. He had been on the outskirts of every passionate moment I shared with this woman- but he had never been in control before. I was almost too crazed by his arousal and need to continue my questions.

"You're with him?" I asked seeing her walking through the trees as the glow of dawn kissed her skin. "Erebos is with you."

She nodded. I nodded with her. No more use for words.

It was some kind of insanity- or maybe it was the first taste of true clarity. I lowered her to the floor in my childhood bedroom. She lay against the rug that I had composed my first symphony on. She was more beautiful than any music I had ever heard.

I caressed her flesh. It was real enough for me. She arched her aching peaks into my touch. The monster was soaring. He growled through our lips to assert the dominance that was our right with this creature.

I ran my nose along her delicious neck- biting the spot where her neck became her chest. I left a trail of gentle kisses and primal bites down to her crest above her heart. The monster never ceased his almost angry rumbling sounds in my chest.

She began to make snarling, aggressive sounds herself as my lips closed over my favorite piece of her flesh. Her sure hands held me to her chest. She moaned and we were savagely joining as one.

Feral. Primal. Wild. Bliss.

She ran her fingernails down my naked back like claws against an enemy. It felt good- the monster liked the painful pleasure of the exchange. He spurred me to bite harder on her flesh. I bit her wrist and her neck- her lips and her breasts. She howled in the sweet erotic torture.

It was something different than we had shared before. I was making love to a part of Bella and not Bella's body. That essence that was my love's soul was taking me in to her and joining with me- joining with that darkest part of me. The monster and the angel. This was beyond sensation and gratification. This was hardly about pleasure or release. This was Bella's soul and my beast offering and accepting- dancing and fighting. Becoming stronger, and one.

_Yes Edward_. She whispered in my mind. I smiled as she rolled me on to my back- groaning as she bit my flesh.

My hands were possessive on her body. _MINE_. All of it. Her real flesh next to my demon father. Her imagined skin sitting above me now. It all existed only for me.

_MINE_! She thought running her hands down my chest. I loved the way this woman thought.

Our bodies were thrusting and rocking faster and harder. And monster and angel blurred together to make a gray glow cast out of darkness and bright light.

For a heartbeat everything stopped. Bella's lips parted just above mine. Our eyes met and spread wide in unison. Our bodies seemed to freeze mid climax. The very air around us seemed to solidify and stop moving.

Pain. Pleasure. Dark. Light. Wonderful. Terrible. Life. Death.

One.

I blinked my eyes open and found Bella smiling down at me.

"Did you enjoy that?" She asked smirking as she offered me her hand. I stood in the empty bedroom, fully clothed and pouted as I noted that she too was no longer naked.

She giggled and put her arms around me. "Naughty Edward." She chided. She ran her tiny hand lovingly along my chest. I would not allow her to wear a scrap of clothing for at least a month when I finally had her back in my arms.

"Only a month?" She said tilting her head back to look at me. I roared with laughter at her words. The world was suddenly a happy place again. And she had me there. A year seemed suddenly more suitable.

"Wicked Bella." I teased kissing her lips lightly. Never let this moment end.

"Foolish children," said a lethally threatening voice from the doorway behind me.

I had not been paying attention. I had allowed my mind to be wrapped in a cloud of Bella and so their arrival had gone unnoticed.

I spun to find Marcus standing in the doorway with Alice shivering in his grasp.

The monster was unleashed.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EmPOV (Cullen Cabin just after Alice has her vision)**

"EMMETT!" Jazz was screaming from the front porch. I gave up on finding Rose in the trees—my family needed me.

I streaked to the steps. Little Alice was on her knees rocking. Her tiny breaths were sharp and rough. I was right next to her, embracing her before I could speak.

"What's up Al?" I stroked her hair and back—running my big hands over her slight shoulders. She leaned in to me like she was terrified of something I couldn't see.

I threw a sharp threat in my stare at Jazz. "What the hell man?" Why was he staring down at her like he hardly knew her? Alice and Jasper were creepy weird when it came to supporting each other. I couldn't believe she was like this and he wasn't touching her.

"Alice?" Carlisle and Esme were coming out of the front door by then. I could feel Rose coming up from behind—she kept more of a distance though. Crap. Couldn't this family have five minutes without drama!

"Seriously you guys! What the hell is going on?" I pushed Alice back in my arms to look her in the eye.

"I don't know…" she groaned. Great! Another all too prophetic but terribly impossible to understand Alice vision. Those damn things were more trouble than help.

"What did you see dear?" Esme said taking my place on the step next to my little sister as I went to slap Jazz out of his trance.

His eyes were wide and a thousand years away. I raised my hand to shake him and the evil animal that glared back behind his eyes froze me where I stood. Jazz was never one to boast about his military history. He was a damn good soldier—none of us really needed him to explain that for us to get it. The guy could plan an attack like no one else. But I had never really witnessed the fury that Alice talked about Jazz having when facing the wolves.

I got the feeling that that one moment of total rage that he threw at me now was the former general. Shit. That guy was scary—even to me.

"What's up man?" I spread my legs and planted my self in front of him. I crossed giant arms over my chest and waited for him to explain. I was more curious about his response than Alice's vision. I could tell you right now she saw Edward and Bella and the family in trouble… tell me I'm wrong!

"I apologize." Damn Jazz and his formalness.

"Whatever! What's up?" I scowled. He glared—in a more Jazz and less general Wilcox kind of way.

"I don't know. Alice got a vision and I saw something in my mind—something that I haven't seen in over five hundred years…I'm sorry. I can't…" He cast his eyes down and looked at his hands. Shit. What the hell was going on? "I can't talk about." He whispered.

"Wolves." Alice said flatly.

Damn. This was bad. Alice couldn't see wolves. How the hell was she seeing them now?

"You don't see wolves, Alice…" Rose offered in a demur voice. Good one baby! At least we are still kind of thinking the same things—these days I was never really sure.

I had to check myself when I looked up at Rose though. She had her hands behind her back. Her face was so freaking reserved and calm that it put me on edge. She knew something. What? No… I was just being stupid. Rose just didn't see any threat.

She threw a glance at me and turned her eyes away sharp. Damn. What the hell was happening to this family?

"I… I don't know what I saw…" Alice was trying to explain to Esme. I looked over at Carlisle.

"What?" I snarled and looked over to the trees. Carlisle's stance put me further on edge. Carlisle looked… disturbed. It took a lot to make our father loose his cool. Something was coming.

Alice gasped. Jazz was flanking me then and we were half way to the trees before Alice spoke.

"NO!" She screamed.

I knew that fear in her voice. Volturi. The guard must have found us. Shit!

I hoped Edward was okay. He was vulnerable right now—alone. I scanned the early morning lit woods ready to fight—but my mind was miles away in the Masen house with my big brother. Edward better damn well be safe!

"Who Alice?" I sneered. Jazz made a slow lethal circuit to my left and I spread out to the right. Carlisle stood watch over the woman.

"All of them." She whispered.

But I didn't really need her to explain it by then. I could see them. Hundreds of them. I was suddenly on my back—or maybe still standing up. Suddenly the world went dark and I could hear my family's voice but I couldn't see or smell anything. I felt massive arms seize around me.

I snarled and hollowed. If I could just get my teeth into something. Screams—female shrieks of terror. Alice! What the hell were they doing to Alice!

Another yell- ROSE! Where was Rose!

I could hear Jazz snarling—savage and untamed but probably just as useless as me. Damn Alec! He must be here. No Jane though, none of us were writhing in pain. And that little bitch wouldn't have been able to resist a little torture regardless of the motives behind capturing us.

Carlisle's voice was easy enough to recognize. He was trying to negotiate with whoever was out there. I hadn't really made out any faces—maybe Demetri. I could only imagine that that was the body holding me down right now. None of the other ones were strong enough to hold me down.

More screams. No negotiations. I was thrashing and pulling and roaring in rage.

ROSE... Alice… Carlisle… Jazz... Esme… EDWARD!... BELLA! Hell… I didn't give a crap at that moment about me—I just had to know my family was safe.

I was being lead somewhere. But everything was dark. Soon they cut off my ability to hear as well. Everything was just silent blackness and motion. We were heading toward something. Death? Italy? A dark pit in the middle of nowhere? I had no idea.

But the devil would have to help whoever was holding me down when I was finally released. All I needed was a second—less than a second.

And I would rip every last one of them to shreds.


	17. Chapter 17: At first sight

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: Love**

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds, it dies of weariness, or withering, or tarnishing... Anais Nin

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough... Ann Landers

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction... Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are... Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve

Him that I love, I wish to be free- even from me... Anne Morrow Lindbergh

**Answer: **

Chapter 17: Partners or At first sight

**\/Darkside\/**

**Vampire BPOV (afternoon- Canada)**

We stood on the edge of the cliff. The sun illuminated the copper highlights in my hair—it was a shade that reminded me of someone very important. I was momentarily heartsick for Edward.

"Where are we?" I asked simply. I could not deny that a greater part of me was scared to death to be this close to this creature. But I no longer had anything to lose.

Edward's connection had gone dark a moment ago. I kept that knowledge silent but I was sure that Erebos would know too.

"This is a sanctuary of sorts." It was hard to get used to his voice. It was raspy yet smooth. Ghostly but firm. Years- His voices was a like an auditory embodiment of thousands and thousands of years.

"This is where the mother stayed. Where, at the end of her days, she died."

I nodded. His story was something that seemed intangible to my mind. I was getting sick and tired of living life in the abstract. I wanted to know something real- something true. I needed to touch something again—feel reality.

"Where would you like to hunt?"

Was he serious? My amber eyes may not be the pure gold of my Cullen family but I was obviously not going to hunt with him. I looked in to his eyes... they were blacker than any hunger driven eyes I had ever seen.

He smiled at my silent assessment. "My eyes do not change color." He stated as if I had voiced my question. "I am always hungry." I moved my eyes to his mouth. He had two sharp tiny fangs that just jutted out past his bottom lip. He smiled wider around them as I stared. _Perplexed_.

"Does it make you wonder..." I glanced back into his midnight eyes. His teasing turning to sarcasm and a sneer of hatred tainted his face. "That damn Cauis' little joke. Creatures of the night with sharp pointy fangs. HA! I gave my self these teeth." He smiled wide enough for his lips to pull back from his entire mouth. And I did not suppress the gasp. All of his teeth were pointed and even sharper than the sharpest razors I had no doubt.

"Before I was changed... I needed a way to do the job of tearing flesh. _So_... I took a sharp rock to them and sharpened them myself." His face fell back into the stone mask again.

I blinked and went back to looking over the edge. I was not horrified like my human self screamed for me to be. I was just... impressed. Had I ever had so much conviction and determination in my life?

"Yes." He said simply. He sensed my annoyance and followed up the statement with an explanation. "Edward."

I agreed.

I caught the scent of blood on the breeze a few hundred miles beneath us- on the canyon floor. Human. Delicious. Three. Young. My mouth filled with venom. My stomach constricted. And my muscles were tingling with anticipation.

It had been so long. Too long. But not long enough… Edward had done his duty well—training the instinct out of me. Encouraging my body to accept the alternate food source. But I had not given up humans completely. I never would. In the instant that the scent of human blood hit my senses I was reminded of the most basic truth of my reality—I am a vampire. I desire human blood to survive. More to the point, I just desire human blood. My human identity could give me guidance and ethical conscience but even she was ravenous as the smell filled out starving nose. We had denied all hunting for too long since we left Edward…

Hunger. Blood. NOW!

He nodded in agreement and we jumped off the cliff in tandem.

**\/Darkside\/**

Moments later I was cleaning the blood from my lips when I realized... he wasn't feeding.

There had been two young females and a young male waiting for us at the bottom. I had drunk the blood of the man. He was strong and broad and his blood was decadent of my rehabilitated tongue. He had a vigorousness in life that seemed to transpose through his blood on to my frozen muscles. I felt stronger instantly and wanted to hunt more. Drink… more… Feed. MORE!

I turned to find the two women cowering in front of him. The younger one begged. She was crying and screaming as I walked slowly over to them. The older one just watched him with wide eyes. She seemed hypnotized. She gazed into his eyes- her heart rate sped not in fear but anticipation. I could almost feel her desire in the air between them.

He stood locked in her eyes too. His face was paler and eyes were intense with some unknown struggle.

"Erebos?" I spoke with a commanding voice. The shrieking girl turned her terror on me.

I reached out and snapped her neck. We could not risk having witnesses. "Erebos..." I warned again. The remaining woman was starting to inch closer to him on her knees.

As she advanced timidly, he grew more and more troubled.

I wished to understand but the girl's blood was cooling and I could not resist drinking it. Human blood had been denied too me for so long. And she was even sweeter than the man had been. Her blood was pulsing under my skin- making my talents come to life in sharper clarity than before. Strong and clear… I wanted to run across the thousands of miles between us and stand by Edward's side… I no longer understood why we had to be apart.

A memory- _I could see Edward and I joining together in our meadow- his strong, beautiful body making mine sing for him. So perfect. So intense..._

A flash_- Edward was screaming. His arms were chained down beneath his body- and his rage filled eyes were darker than his fathers. Carlisle struggled against his chains to Edward's right. He was a wild enraged animal- I could only imagine what drove both of them to that madness._

I came back to myself as he cradled the woman in his arms. I could no longer hear her heart- but I could no smell any fresh blood flowing from the woman's body. His face was tender and wondrous as he watched her sleeping in his arms. He brushed his fingertips across her forehead. She had black hair and I was trapped in a memory as I watched his pale fingers dive in to her dark strands. The fluid motion was mesmerizing.

"I can't... I can't..." he was chanting as I came to kneel beside him.

I put my hand on top of his and stilled his motion. His breath stopped and he just stared at the woman's frozen opened eyes. "Erebos..." I started but then I was reeling from the contact of our skin.

Like a bolt of lightening had struck my fingers, I was launched in the air and feet away from him in a single breath. I was thrashing from the surge to my system.

Wild. Feral. Pain. Anger. Hunger. PAIN!

It was too much. Too much pain... too many memories. I was on my back and slamming my head into the ground to release my mind from the overwhelming amount of information that was tearing me apart.

_Bella_... Edward's voice was in my head. _Calm down love_... I was moaning and writhing in the force of what was gripping me. Suddenly an image of Edward was above me. His hands cupped my cheeks and his thumbs brushed my lips. At the feel of his imagined flesh upon mine I was stilled. _That's it my love… calm… you are in control_.

I nodded as he disappeared. Then I rolled my eyes at how easily I dealt with my insanity. I supposed that it was not psychosis to those of us who had these abilities but it was hardly "normal" to be sent into fits from touching someone else. And to have an imaginary spirit of the man I love as my mind's only defense was not even something I could explain to anyone. Except Edward. I knew he had a shadow image of me that kept him going now too.

I sighed. Erebos was still unable to feed. Unable to do anything but assure me that he was just unable. I lay on my back with my fingers laced over my stomach and stared at the sun high in the sky. I crossed my ankles and waited. I had become very good at waiting.

I eventually heard the girl's body drop and Erebos sighed. He had not fed. I could not taste the scent of fresh blood from the girl in the air. Curious.

He drew nearer to me and the old familiar fear spiked again. Something about his presence… like a dark energy that hung around him like a cloud of doom, put me on edge. Challenged my senses. Or awakened some dark part of me that I wished to keep hidden.

I opened my right hand and smoothed it over my stomach. I needed to find my center once more. I closed my eyes and pictured Edward. The caressing hand stilled once Erebos was behind me.

"How long?" He said. I kept my thoughts and my words guarded. He proved to me that he understood… that he wanted to be on my side and not against me. My hands moved to the dirt and shoved me up.

"Soon," was all I could say. We left the quiet spot in the forest and he whistled for his wolves to clean up the mess.

"This is Isabella." He said gesturing to me as a pure white wolf knelt before him. This wolf could not have been a werewolf. Jasper had let me enter his past—as best I could with his human memories shielded from my abilities. And I had seen the warrior wolves. This was just a normal sized white wolf.

"She is an ancestor of the original pack. All wolves are, anymore. It's alright… you should pet her. They will need to learn to trust and respect you soon enough."

I held out my hand and she cautiously made her way before me. Her eyes were a pale blue—beautiful. She was regal in her movement and her fur was silky soft under my stone fingers. She bowed her head before me as she had him and backed away into the woods to join her brothers.

"You see… like us, they have ancestors in the natural world. But I have found ways to give them a new life. But, also like us, the body must be changed. And wolves have the ability to ask." He scowled briefly as if such an ability of choice angered him. "No one can just become a werewolf. They must accept it and ask me to grant it to them… or you can as well." I planted my feet on the ground and stared at him.

He sighed as if he wished I just understood. "You have been alive for thousands of years… how is that you always seem to be out of time?"

He laughed. It was unnerving when he did that. He looked just like Edward when he did that. I tried to compromise the two images—evil Erebos of vampire lore and carefree, lovable Edward. Could two such dynamics exist in one body?

"I am trapped by a desire. And now… struggling to understand an impossible charge." He put his hands in his pocket and stared at the ground for a long while. When his eyes met mine again he was taken aback by the force of my glare.

"Speak."

"Bella… would it be enough to say that I lived forever with no real purpose. And a hundred years ago… I was changed. I still do not understand how or in what way… but I was."

"Because you fell in love with Elizabeth." I stated bluntly. I had no time my self. Talk of love and self purpose only made me anxious to find out what was happening with Edward.

"No." But as he spoke his brows scrunched together in confusion.

"Yes." I said in that confoundingly frustrating way that he always addressed my questions.

"I am not capable of love Bella." My turn to laugh.

His scowled grew more pronounced. "All creatures can love. You feel hatred. Anger?" He nodded. "Then you can feel its opposite just as much. Some times it's just a trigger that you need—a reason. A person. A purpose. But you can feel it."

His eyes grew wide for a moment—like a child realizing the wonder of Christmas. "And you think that Lizzie is this form of love for me?" I was taken aback by his voice. It melted into a young man's. One that sounded much like Edward's. The solitude of years seemed washed away at the thought of his Lizzie.

I nodded with my own wondrous eyes. "Why were you keeping her there? I mean…" I thought about how to delicately beg the question but gave up. "Why did you not change her?"

His eyes grew sad again and his face was stone. "I can not touch her." He breathed.

"Why?" I would be the annoying five year old for now. The manner in which I had asked such questions of my family since my rebirth had been through my gift. But I would fear nothing else for the rest of eternity more than I feared entering Erebos' mind.

He hung his head and laced his fingers out of nervousness… "I drank Anthony's blood… I didn't mean to…" His face was anguished at this. "He was my son too—I would never… but I wanted him clean. Wanted him pure as he went into the earth. He was a part of the purest creature…" His eyes closed and I imagined tears would have flown down hid cheeks.

"Lilly…" He breathed.

I blanched. At his words I could see her—the mother. She was standing behind us. Standing on her hill. Her eyes were hollow as the bore into mine. She wanted me dead. There was no doubt about that in my mind. A growl rumbled deep in my chest. My fists balled and I hissed as I exposed my teeth in threat.

Erebos caught his breath and turned to find the hill empty once more.

His face was paler as his eyes found mine once more. "She haunts you now too."

"Why?"

He stepped forward and placed a hand on my waist. I braced myself for the contact but was relieved when nothing happened.

"She wants him too." As he spoke his hand drifted across my stomach and caught my hand. His eyes were fierce as they penetrating deep in to my soul. In that second I knew I would trust him unfailing for the rest of my days. For a good end or an evil one I did not know. But I was his.

"Let me explain—how is it that Edward puts it—the Cliff notes version." He winked and as he released my hand it fell limply back to my stomach.

My defenses were down—I opened myself to his story. I nodded for him to begin.

"The venom is the master of this race. I was charged with its power. The first. I chose Lilly. She was the mother—but the way that I chose her denied our race real birth…. She denied them real birth. She was forever pregnant. Forever tormented by the loss of her children. So she stole that from our children. I didn't care—I saw birth as something that should be controlled.

But I get away from the point, dear Bella… the point is that you and I are the same. That we… that you are something new. Your venom. Your abilities. They are just like mine…. Embrace that. Now."

His eyes were dark shadows that called to that other part of my mind. My body locked down and I felt her bleeding back into me. But unlike before, I was not put to sleep deep in my mind. I simply blended with her.

My passion of my new life and my human self as well were melting together. My breath sped but not a single muscle could be moved.

When he finally blinked his eyes closed I fell to my knees. I didn't know who I should be… but I was all of me for the first time in my life. I raised my hands to inspect them. Nothing had changed. I was still in this body—but now I was whole. And now… I could access all the information that he had danced around giving me for so long.

"I can't." I said simply. The gifted part of me knowing that he was telling me to create the next generation of vampires—one that could challenge the evils that he had created in the first.

"You can. There are no rules for you Bella. There is just potential. You can do this. You were made do this." He looked down at my body—my hands locked protectively over my stomach.

"Soon." He said again.

I hung my head. I had to stay the course and not dwell on too much of this.

"Soon," I agreed.

Then my world changed entirely. I was on my back screaming. This was not just a flash or a vision of what was to come.

"EDWARD!"

He was in pain. He was being tortured. And now so was I.

"ELIZABETH!" Erebos was screaming from far away.

I sensed his departure. Knew where he was going. But I was trapped in the torture.

_Bella… Bella… Bella_… Edward was thinking over and over. He knew I felt this too. He wanted to keep me safe. I knew I could not go to him. I could not go anywhere near Volterra. But I would tear the world in half to stop his pain.

Edward shrieked once more and then his world was black.

I blinked my eyes once more to find a pack of wolves huddled around me. They stood ready to defend for me and keep me safe. The white wolf bowed her head when I stood.

"Come." I told them—my new children. "We have a long way to travel tonight."

I ghosted in to the forest with my pack at my heels—we were going home. Forks. There was purpose waiting for me there. A new race that was waiting for a destiny. One that only I could give them. Me. Their mother.


	18. Chapter 18: Eternal Torture

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question: Betrayal**

"One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope." …Steven Deitz

"Betrayal is the only truth that sticks"… Arthur Miller

"Love is whatever you can still betray ... Betrayal can only happen if you love"…John LeCarre

"To be deceived by our enemies or betrayed by our friends in insupportable; yet by ourselves we are often content to be so treated." … Duc de La Rochefoucauld

**Answer:**

Chapter 18: The Volturi Guard or Eternal Torture

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Masen house same day)**

_Screams…_

_Pain…_

_My family lying on the floor motionless…_

_The sudden scent of ancient venom…_

_A devilish laugh dancing through the halls of my family home…_

_A silenced music…_

_The world goes black…_

_BELLA!_

I was on the floor before I could touch him.

_Bastards! _

Alec. Of course he was here. They brought all the guard. _Damn them all to hell!_

I was instantly cut off from my senses… at least the physical ones. I could still see and hear everything that was going on in the conscious minds of everyone in the house. I scanned all them…

_DAMN IT!_ They were all here! Everyone from the Three down to the minions.

I flipped through every mind—picking out information. My family minds were locked in frozen dark bodies. I found Carlisle's mind in the entryway downstairs… He was thinking one thought—_do not get your self hurt_.

I ignored that. I pulled out of the minds of the rest of my family. They ranged from gut wrenching terror from Esme to lustful rage in Emmett. I focused on our enemies instead. I would find what motivations they had for being here.

Nothing. Not one of the two hundred minds crawling through my home were thinking about anything but darkness. My frozen heart was seizing. This was not some sudden attack that was brought on the all too powerful Cullen coven. This was a very intricate plan. This was an orchestrated moment of subterfuge. I knew who was behind it without trying to find his mind. Aro. I had no need to want to read his mind. Instead I settled on looking through the eyes of whoever was in the room behind me now. Felix—I could read his lust for causing pain.

His eyes were narrowed on his master at the door. He admired Marcus for his cunning. Marcus could see the relationships between people. He knew how to exploit the weakness of such bonds. My love for Bella and my passionate sibling protectiveness of Alice were my undoing. Had I no care for such relationships I would have heard this coming. I would have been able to escape.

I would have been the only one with warning. Alice was distracted by Erebos' plotting and Bella's safety to see the hidden schemes of the Volturi. Besides, Aro had thought about capturing us for the last fifty years—a plan to find us would have hardly sent up a red flag in Alice's mind. The darkness… the darkness was the key.

The Volturi seemed obsessed with picturing darkness. That must have something to do with Alice's vision. Some decoy… I could only think of one creature when I thought of darkness.

_You are my son_… I amended that thought—now I could picture two creatures.

The monster was raging inside of my head. I did not have Bella in front of me to soothe him. He yearned for the use of our arms… We would tear Marcus' gloating head from his body.

Alice was standing in Marcus' arms. She was shaking in fear but she was no more conscious than the rest of us. Marcus would squeeze her and her little body would shake harder. His ghostly pale face was turned up in an evil grin.

"Where is she?" An even more threatening voice asked from behind Marcus. His brother stepped aside and clutched Alice tighter to his chest. Aro stood there watching me through Felix's eyes.

And to think, for a brief moment in my youth I had admired the maniac.

"She is downstairs. The boy spent hours down in the cellar."

The cellar. My mother! NO! I was denied any further thoughts on their motives than that. Aro eyed Felix as if he knew I would be staring at him through the enforcer's eyes. He flashed me a sneer of a smile as he turned toward the stairs.

Everything seemed to line up at that moment. Why Erebos had kept her a secret and not turned her before. Why he had not taken physical form until now- so that Demetri would not be able to locate him. He was protecting her from this. This must be something he saw coming.

What did they plan on doing to her? Why? Was it more than some rivalry with the dark father?

"Bring him down here." Aro hissed. I heard his voice in my mind but I knew it was loud enough for everyone in the house to hear his command.

Felix threw me over his shoulder and I watched as he followed Marcus through the house. Carlisle and Esme were propped against the door. Em and Jazz were lashing about, blindly. So they were being held down by Demetri Alec. Rose sat next to the family. She stared ahead without moving. But when Alice and I came into focus, she blinked her eyes and watched us.

She had control over her senses. That BITCH!

She was only thinking about her worry over the family. But I could hear the sneer in her thoughts. She was doing that only for appearances. She knew something. She was involved in this.

I snarled and she jumped. She knew I knew. She started picturing her days as a human. Thought about how happy she had been. Kept thinking the same thought—this will be just a dream.

I was more enraged than I had ever been. The evil plan of the Volturi, the plots of Erebos that made me question my own soul were nothing compared to the pain of betrayal from a trusted sister. I may not have liked Rose most days—but I had loved her as a sister. If she had anything to do with this—if any member of MY family was hurt because of her… I would peel her flesh slowly from her skin and make her suffer for a thousand years… I would never grant her death. She deserved an eternity as a vampire.

_Edward_… Alice was thinking. She was getting a vision—_Bella was heading back to Forks. There was a tribe of boys following her into the former Cullen home_.

I groaned internally. Wasn't one crisis enough for me to handle? I wondered why she was alone—where had Erebos gone?

_Alec_. Aro spoke. He waved toward my face and my eyes were released from the spell. My ears were still closed, but I could hear everything through their minds.

I was sitting on the floor—where I had been sitting earlier that day. Only this time there was no Bella to protect me. There was a room full of demons who wanted to hurt my mother.

Could she be hurt?

"Chelsea?" Aro said waving the dark haired female over to my mother's bed. I tried to wiggle out of Felix's grasp. I knew too much about her. She had a powerful gift that I had no wish to experience.

Chelsea had tried to use her gift to sway me to joining the guard in my youth. My power of argument was all that saved me from being turned that day—or so I had thought. I knew now watching Aro that there was a great deal in that man's plotting mind that I had missed.

Everything was a plot. Everything was a mask. There was always a hidden motive.

Chelsea stood in the middle of the room—as Bella's image had only moments ago. She glanced at my mother and then back over at me. She swiveled her head back and forth and back and forth. I did not like what she was seeing.

"She is his mother. And the bond is strong. For both." She spoke with a deadly whisper.

I groaned again. Thank whatever higher power watched over me that Bella was not here. Chelsea could not only read this relationship—she could make it dissolve. Already I was feeling less concerned for the woman on the bed.

Aro nodded and Chelsea focused her attention on me completely. I was torn in two—mentally. There was the old Edward—the one that knew who the woman was and had some desire to keep her safe. And then there was the new me. The one that said they could do what they pleased with her. I had no need to keep her alive.

She kept scanning my mind. She wished to build my bond with Aro and sway my loyalty to her family against mine. I snarled as she pried. In order for me to be turned to that I would have to be of one mind and soul—and I was not. I belonged already completely to another. She would have to turn Bella too—or end Bella's life for me to become their willing slave.

She backed away from me at my threatening growls. I still no longer cared about the woman that Aro was now sitting next to but I would find a way to release my self from this prison to kill anything that threatened Bella.

"Be still Edward." Aro said simply.

I sneered at him. That lost part of my brain was not happy about him touching her. He ran his hands over her neck. I could almost hear Erebos scream in pain. He had denied himself such intimacy with her—forever.

"She will be so beautiful. She will make a wonderful wife." He announced. My breath stopped.

I could not bring myself to care about his words. But some part of my mind was terrified by them. Wife. Aro would make my mother his wife?

"But not here." He finished. "We must get home first. Then she will be ready to be changed."

He looked back and me and smiled. "Alec." He said once more and my eyes went dark.

**\/Darkside\/**

We were carted to their private jet and we were chained in the storage hatch during travel. Even that blond bitch of treachery.

She sat still as a stump in the hopes that I had not really figured anything out in the house. I just snarled when I felt her eyes on me. I could sense Felix standing behind me, but he was only looking at the wall.

We were all resigned to not move. With no sight or hearing we were just dangerous. And we would only hurt each other, no doubt, more than escape.

Carlisle was having a silent conversation with me—one that involved me tapping my foot in numbered responses against his arm.

_How many of our family survives_? I tapped my foot eight times. Even Bella was alive—wherever she was. Alice had seen a vision of her back in Forks but there was no way to determine when that would happen.

I did not sense her in pain or gone. So she had to be alright.

_Where are we_? It was troubling for me to consider the fact that to my family only motion and darkness was around them. They would not even be able to denote the sound of the jet engines. So Carlisle started naming possibilities.

_Chicago_? Silence.

_Forks_? Silence.

_Car_? Silence.

_Plane_? One sharp tap of my foot.

_Volterra_? Was his next question. And my foot answered him even faster than before.

_Damn_. He thought. I concurred. It was simply impossible for me to consider what would happen next. We were so hindered by our abilities. What with Alice seeing the future and me reading motives we had thought our family invincible in many ways. But now… those gifts were being used against us.

_Who_? Carlisle thought. And I knew instantly that he meant he knew this could not happen without a traitor. I was shocked. It was completely against everything Carlisle stood for to believe that anyone of us could be so heartless. He would defend all of his family to the death. To be so easily convinced meant he was very good at hiding his thoughts from me as well.

I sighed. What other secrets was I to learn today about the "truths" in my world?

_Rosalie_? Was his first thought. I hung my head and tapped his arm.

_So be it_. He thought. For the first time in my entire hundred years—I was truly afraid of Carlisle.

**\/Darkside\/**

**CPOV (1850 Volterra Italy)**

I kept checking the sun to see when I would be allowed purchase to the square. There were a great many rules that I had been told by that girl—Heidi. She seemed eager for me to meet the Three. I was not sure why but I could feel myself growing hopeful as the day fell to night.

I entered the lavish lobby and wondered at the façade. Outside there were peddlers… humans who seemed completely unaware of what lived in the tower of the castle.

A beautiful, human woman sat at a table waiting for me. She smiled as I approached. I was caught off guard. It had been a long time since I had found myself at ease with humans.

I thought once more about Erebos. Wished that my father would find me again. I needed his guidance. Though I was terrified to find him as well. He had always wished to tempt me with human blood—and I feared now more than ever that I would give in. I was intoxicated by the pulse in the redhead's neck.

My mouth was swimming in venom so thick that it was all I could do not to pull her body across the table and have her right then and there.

I cowered back. I hoped that I could find some peace here. The Volturi were said to enforce the vampire order. I truly hoped that was the case. My world was in desperate need of order.

"Right this way Mr. Cullen." I held my breath as I passed. Even at that I snapped at her outreached hand before I was pulled through a doorway.

"I'm sorry," I was begging as the woman cradled the unwounded hand to her chest and watched me with wide eyes. What kind of monster was I? I had always been able to deny this thirst. Even around what our kind considered to be the most evil of our race—I had been unfailing in my ability.

I refused to hurt humans. At least Carlisle refused to… this new demon growing inside of me- he would hurt anything he could for that sweet blood.

I was sickened by myself.

I was led to a huge, dark room. In the center of the room stood three chairs. Two were filled with animus looking ancient creatures. The third must have belonged to the man walking toward me. His face with pulled into a wide, wicked smile.

I was suddenly unable to want to stay here. What was I putting my trust in?

"Welcome, son." The man said. He reached his left hand out to me. When his hand touched mine—I was unable to deny a bond with him. It was odd… as if he was simply a forgotten uncle.

"You will stay… of course." He said. I nodded. Not only did I truly have no where else to go, I honestly wished to remain here with him. I felt as though I would do anything for him.

"Chelsea?" The man spoke.

"Yes master?" She begged. Master… would I be able to call him such as well… I hoped so. He deserved this respect. I wanted to give him everything.

"That is more than enough, my dear." She nodded at his words. I did not understand the exchange but I stood waiting for whatever he wanted me to do.

"Take Carlisle to his room. He must be so weary. We will begin your training tomorrow. My new son."

I bowed my head at his words. What an honor! I wished for the dawn to come now, I did not wish to be parted from him.

I was led through narrow hallways. My mind was filled with what few images I had of my new father… was there ever a different father? I could not remember one.

Chelsea stopped at an iron door that seemed thousands of years old. "Here is your new room brother." I thanked her.

I entered the room. I was eternally thankful for this new home I found myself in the instant I walked across the threshold. I closed the door behind me as the growl grew deep in my chest. There was a human woman sitting on the bed in front of me. My dark eyes watched her as if she were the most precious of prey.

She shook in fear. My mind was inebriated at the sight. Her blood smelled so sweet. She was pure—I could almost taste that on the scent coming off of her skin.

"Please…" She begged. My eyes closed as they rolled back in lust.

"Don't worry my child." I promised. "I'll do this quickly."

**\/Darkside\/**

**(present day)**

To this day I can still hear the shrieks of terror from the dead child's lips. Her blood had tasted finer than any wine my human palate had known. I would live forever with the torment of my soul over what I had done in the Volturi's presence. Now my family was in their clutches.

Edward confirmed it… a suspicion that I had had for sometime now. Even before Bella joined us but more so in the recent months. Rosalie. She had gone to Aro for help. She was so eager to be rid of her true self that she was willing to sacrifice the family to do so.

I sighed in the darkness that gripped me. I could sense Esme beside me. I could only pray that she was unharmed and not in pain. More than ever I yearned for Edward's gift or some gift that could help me see her right now.

I didn't wish this on any of my children—but I especially didn't wish this on Esme. She was too kind and gentle to have to deal with what awaited us in Volterra. We were bargaining chips. I had been one once before. It had not worked out as well for Aro before. But I knew he wanted the same thing right now.

Erebos.

I snarled at the thought. I knew my father—my real father. Erebos was not the evil I taught my children to believe he was. That was a lie we had to protect to stay alive. The Volturi felt threatened by anyone who thought of Erebos as anything but a nightmare. I trained my children to believe the lie. To keep them alive.

And now we were even worse off. They did not have the truth to help them defend their minds against the attack that was coming. That was all that had got me through the years that I was trapped in that tower. In the end I knew who he was—Aro could not deny that. I was changed by a venom that even Aro could not fight. I was directly a part of Erebos and that was a defense that would always usurp any vampire gift.

All I could hope was that that venom was now helping to defend the children that I had changed.

There was more movement—they were walking us somewhere now. I could feel stairs. I could feel what felt like wooden, almost hollow planks. Volterra. We were crossing the portcullis. Damn!

_Edward_? I had no clue what I intended to communicate to him. I just knew his was the only mind that could hear me. My son calmed my soul more than anyone, next to Esme. He was my partner through everything.

I felt a swift kick in my seat. _Well that was highly unnecessary_. I thought. But I was struck again—over and over until I was on my knees in pain. Vampires were not able to truly process pain the way human were programmed to. So much of our lives are above the notion—when we are met with something that truly hurts, we lack the tools to deal with it properly.

Suddenly I had the use of my eyes—but not my ears. I did not need to hear anything to understand.

Torture.

Their game was torture. I watched with wide eyes as Demetri and Felix held Esme's arms outstretched. Her eyes were closed, and I knew she must still be under Alec's power completely.

_NO_!

She would be alone in the dark and unprepared for the pain.

_NO_!

I felt my mouth open and knew sound must be pouring from me with the animalistic rage suddenly released in me. I struggled against whatever restraints were holding me back—my eyes were wild and my body was no longer under my control.

I will kill every last one of them! I snarled and howled!

_ESME_!

_NO_!

_Edward! Help her! PLEASE EDWARD_!

The rational part of my brain knew there was nothing he could do. That hearing my desperate plea would only add to his feeling of helplessness. But I would never be rational again. They could kill her. They could rip her apart and burn the most precious pieces of life in my world.

And there was nothing that I could do to stop them.

_NO_!

I was beyond crazed as I saw her head arch back and her lips open. Her chest seized as if she were silently screaming. I felt my own lungs empty in protest once more.

I was a thrashing, carnal thing as I saw her right arm pulled from her body. Words were gone.

Death. Pain. Rage. Pain.

I would kill everything around me. If she died. I would burn the world in my rage. There was not a punishment dark enough for what I would do to them.

Her face fell forward and she blinked her eyes open. My body was stilled instantly when she looked up at me. I begged her forgiveness with my eyes. She just smiled her serene smile and forgave me.

Then she silently howled in pain again as her left arm was torn from her body.

My entire form was locked down. My mouth was open wide and every muscle in my body was clenched.

Rage. Pain. Lust. Hurt. Love.

I love her. Hurt me instead.

_Edward… tell them to hurt me instead_.

Then the world was black once more.


	19. Chapter 19: What the Hale

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

"Nothing makes one so vain as being told one is a **sinner**. Conscience makes egotists of us all."- Oscar Wilde

Can you forgive what you had no control over to begin with? Can you offer compassion to someone who has killed you? Can you feel sorry for someone who forces you to endure the most unimaginable torture for all eternity... neither could Rosalie.

**Answer:**

Chapter 19: No more mixed emotions or What the Hale...

**\/Darkside\/**

**JPOV (Volterra dungeon one week later)**

_Darkness. _

_Pain. Terror. Rage. _

_Darkness. _

_Fear. Love. Pain. _

_Darkness. _

_Hunger. Thirst. Pain. Anger. _

_Darkness… _

_Darkness…_

_Darkness…_

It was three days before I was given back the use of my other senses. The loss of my sight had terrified me. The loss of my hearing had infuriated me. But the loss of smell had made me feel like a lost child in the dark. I locked my body down immediately. I would not hurt anyone in my family—least of all Alice. I knew that she sat on the steps—I had ghosted back to her when she screamed. I refused to move one muscle with her so close and my emotions so enraged.

It was crippling—the most vulnerable that I have ever felt. But I was not without a compass—an internal guide of what was happening around me. My fear for my family's protection would have driven me insane, but I knew that I was not alone in realizing at least a piece of what our enemy was up to. I knew Edward and Alice were like me. Alec could not shut off that other part of us. No one could control that part of us but us. He could force my body to stop moving. And he could take away my eyes and ears and mouth. He could make my skin stop feeling- but he could not stop my soul from sensing what _they_ were feeling. Or stop me from trying to affect _how_ they were feeling.

I couldn't do it at first. It takes more focus to affect moods with a desired outcome. And all I could feel was anger—hatred so pure and fiery that I knew I was only increasing my enemy's advantage. I could feel their raw hatred of us. They had been trained to believe we were their biggest threat. I pushed past that feeling of oppressive loathing but was struck again by my family's emotions.

My family was so afraid. It made me primal with need—I had to protect them. I had to defend us. I was the greatest general in the history of vampires. I was General Jasper Wilcox. The slayer of wolves. The protector of our race. The chosen son of the mother. And I was completely helpless as my adopted mother's tremors of terror washed over me.

Esme. She was so horrified. Not for herself, never for herself. She was worried about all of us. There was a strong worry sent to my bond with her. I could sense that she worried that I would react too quickly and get hurt. Em—she was scared that Em was already knee deep in blind-fighting that could lead to one of us being injured in the process. This was highlighted by the anxiety that was clouding her bond with him. She was afraid for Carlisle. That was her strongest bond. The bond that tied me to both of these new parents. The love and almost worship that Esme felt for Carlisle was echoed in all of our minds. That was her gift. She kept this family united under that love. I understood that she would worry as our father now had to face the demons that he had expelled so violently off his back a hundred years ago.

And there was fear for Alice and Rose. Her daughters. Her cherished female companions. Though none of us were weak or even that easy to break, Esme always saw those girls as the most delicate of our family. Alice would become some prize for Aro to exploit. And Rose would be some treasure that she feared would be taken advantage of. She feared most for Rose. With the last vestiges of her soul she prayed for Edward and Bella. None of us, except perhaps Alice, knew where either of them was. I prayed with my mother for their safety.

Our world went black around us in a heartbeat in the wilderness of the cabin. I knew nothing but the emotions. Darkness. Movement. Darkness. And then pain so strong that it was turning my body inside out. I did not know if it was my own, or if I was gleaning emotions from others around me. But I was driven insane from the torment. I kept chanting—calm, calm, calm. In my head once the fear and anger subsided. I could feel everyone around me, Edward was now included, being put physically at ease by my power. No one was internally stable.

Edward was ready to unleash the hell that we all knew him capable of. Though I welcomed the promise, I was unnerved by his sudden change. Edward was the most disciplined in his control of his inner monster. He rarely even play fought with us brothers. What would call his anger so easily to the surface? Em was wishing… hoping… his mood was practically growling. Carlisle was… damn. I had never felt anything like that from Carlisle. It sparked a fear in me that I was unequipped to process. Carlisle was calm—resigned in the way that a soldier is when heading in for a suicide mission. Raw lethalness simmering beneath the collected exterior. I had thought Edward the sleeping dragon—now I knew who our enemy truly should fear.

Alice was sorry. She could only dwell on her desolation. I wanted to reach for her and touch her and comfort her. But I had no idea where she was. I gave her all my love through our bond but that seemed to only make her sad. I sighed. The vision. I had forgotten about the vision. Would I ever get a chance to explain myself to her?

I was pulled from my musing as I finally caught a hint of Rose's emotions. I swallowed hard. Carlisle and Edward were making more and more sense to me now. I could sense it. She might hide it in her thoughts. And she may have masked it in her actions that led her to this future. But she could not deny her emotions right now. She was happy. Content. Satisfied.

That unimaginable whore. She was willing to trade all of us for what? What could she possible be granted from these snakes that was worth it? Was Rosalie truly that disgustingly vicious that she would damn us to save herself?

I felt her smile slap my hope in the face. Yes. That bitch would have to die.

I felt Esme tremble once more in her worry for her family. Soon. Rose would have to die soon. I would find a way. I might have to fight Emmett to accomplish it, but I would not let her live once my hands were untied.

There was more movement and darkness. Fear. Anger. And pain.

I could feel something heavy weighing my body down—holding me in place. But I could use nothing but my extra sense to navigate my surroundings. The pain was becoming a dull ache in every inch of my body.

Then it happened. Edward. Carlisle. Esme. Even Bella. Not only their bonds, but I would almost swear I could hear their thoughts. Pain—no something more than pain. The absence of everything but the blackest most powerful agony slammed into my body like a bolt of lightening hitting a dead tree. My family was being tortured. I felt my mouth open and my lungs emptied with what I hoped was a roar of rage that might make someone shudder in fear. But that was all I could do. I tried to push out with emotions to help whichever family member it was. But it was like trying to stop a fire with the moisture from a gentle kiss…. It only made me hurt more.

Helpless.

Then everything was dark. Everything. Even the emotions swirling in the air around me. I was unable to care to feel them. I was numb. Hollow. I could no longer feel anything but loss. I counted my breaths. I knew how many were in a day. Twenty one thousand. It took twenty one thousand pulls of air into my lungs and pushed out from my body repeated continuously to mark the passing of one day. On breath sixty-two thousand seven hundred and eighty nine, I was given back my sight. And by breath sixty-two thousand eight hundred and seventy three I could hear the moans and shrieks in the dungeon walls. On breath sixty-two thousand nine hundred and forty five I could denote each distinct scent of my family members and the unfamiliar aromas of the guards who watched us. And on breath sixty-three thousand exactly, I began to plot my revenge.

**\/Darkside\/**

Three days. Three days after the attack I was sitting in the dungeon in Volterra. Three days until I could really reach out and define how my family was feeling. I was not alone in my cell. But I was not turned to face my companion. Good thing. I was locked up with Rosalie… Hale. She would never be graced with the name Cullen for me.

I swallowed the bile of bitterness and ignored her. I didn't even speak to her. I just focused on finding their emotional bonds. Each time I located another member of my family I was relieved. They were still alive as long as I could feel what they were feeling.

I found Em first. Then Alice. Edward and Carlisle had been shielded for a time. I considered the fact that Aro probably would have a shield here. His collection of gifted vampires was a world class menagerie. Either I was being blocked from feeling them or they were being blocked from feeling anything at all. But I finally located them. And when I did I was again cast into darker shades of fear. Carlisle was numb. He was empty. He felt nothing. There was a dull rage that beat like the dormant heartbeat that used to drive his body. But nothing else. I was on edge… where was Esme? I had not been able to locate her. And I could not feel the overwhelming love pushed from my father's bond to my mother's. When I thought of Esme… there was just nothing.

Damn.

I locked Carlisle's state away for the moment. Torture 101 taught me that that was how you wore your enemy down. Rob them of their hope. She was that for all of us. We were separated so that we could not communicate with each other. We were picked off separately and by different means of torment. And we were being forced to believe in the reality that they were creating for us.

Little did any of them know that we had lived two months with Isabella Cullen. Reality had a whole new meaning to all of us. Especially those of us who could connect to Bella on gifted levels. I held to the belief that it made no real sense for the Volturi to kill any of us. Hurt us—yes. Torture us—yes. But not kill us. They were torturing Carlisle by removing her from his world. But I would find her emotions eventually. She felt everything deeper than anyone else in my world.

That being said it was almost impossible to comprehend the emotional thoughts of the rest of my family.

I had expected the most hatred to stem from Em with his aggressive need to defend. Or from Edward with his frustration in having to keep the things he loves safe. But I was surprised at who the greatest desire for death came from- Alice.

Alice. My Alice. It took another day entirely after I was given back my senses before I could truly define which mood was hers. Alice had been prone to fits of anger before. But she was generally happy. Easy. Willing to compromise or alter a situation for the best for everyone without unnecessary fighting. But now she was just hungry for killing. How lonely she must feel. I would imagine that her visions were either terrifying or black.

The Volturi had kept everything so perfectly hidden until now. There was no possible way that Alice was seeing any new information now than she had before.

I sighed. Resigned. I wished that I could talk to her. I wished for all of us to be safe and home but mostly I yearned to just see and speak to Alice. I missed her. I decided to take her home once we were free and tie her to our bed. I could feel a swell of sudden confused giddiness from our bond at that thought. She would have seen an image of my plan. That made me smile.

I pictured her, perfect in some twisted submission before me. She would be safe under my constant supervision. That required her never being allowed to leave my sight—and the shackles around her arms and legs provided me peace of mind. I pulled on my own chains—suppressing a moan. What I could imagine doing to a naked and willing captive like Alice Cullen. My Alice. She was now moving from excited to lustful and that was not going to make anything better for either of us. Unlike phone sex for humans—emotional bond imaginary sex while chained up in ancient dungeons was more than just awkward.

I tugged on my chains again. There was a Guard member—Remy. He had the power to weaken our strength. Like Jane or even Bella or even I did—it was all an illusion. But it was a powerful one. I felt as though the chains were heavier than anything I could lift. Again, I knew in my genetic makeup that I was strong enough to break free. But who knew what awaited me on the other side of that door. I could put more at risk rushing foolishly in to an escape attempt than by just waiting and watching.

Rose never tried to talk to me. We both knew the other one was there. Vampires had senses that made it impossible for us not to recognize every identifying detail of people we knew even if we could not see them. I knew the exact pitch of her breath as it passed through her haughty lips. I knew tenor of her ever constant bitterness that hung around her body like a rain cloud. And I could smell her. The liar. The traitor. The bitch. As well as she could smell me.

We sat in silence. Both of us knowing that there would be hell to pay.

**\/Darkside\/**

Another sixty-three thousand breaths later—we were brought to that chamber. It was a room we had all heard of for many, many years. The room that Carlisle had stood in when he first arrived in Volterra almost two hundred years ago. And the room where the innocent towns folk were brought once a year for the mass slaughter by the Three and their Guard.

It was empty—save the three ancient vampires atop their thrones, darkness, and my family.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. The Volturi had never really been able to strike fear in my heart. Theatrics were hardly impressive to a hardened war hero. If you wanted to make me afraid of you—you should attack me. That worked for the wolves.

I wanted to turn to my family and inspect their wellness with my naked eyes. But I could not turn away from the Three in front of me. Maybe it was a fear. Maybe it was some other gift that I was unaware of. But none of us looked to each other. We all stood…waiting for an explanation. Wondering if there would be some sort of sentence. We knew there would be no hope.

I did push out with my gift to feel them… and found that not everyone was present. There was no Edward…. But there was an Esme. Thank the mother! She was alright! My heart swelled at the truth.

No one spoke. We just stood there… waiting.

Finally, Rosalie spoke up. "We demand an explanation." She said with timid determination. She had to know that by this point only Esme and Emmett were even remotely on her side. She had to know that the rest of us were plotting her demise faster than the end of the evil creatures in front of us. So why continue the charade.

"You sold us out, Rosalie. I would have thought that was obvious." Carlisle's words were nothing compared to the swell of distain that I felt from him. He truly wanted her dead. What had happened? Something… Esme! They tortured her… in front of Carlisle. Yes. Rosalie would die. Soon.

We all heard Rosalie's weak scoff. Em started growling beside Carlisle. "What the hell are you talking about Carlisle?" he whispered in a lethally dark voice.

"Ask her yourself, Emmett. I have not the stomach to give her another moment of my time."

I blanched at the pang I got from Rosalie at Carlisle's words. She was not sorry for what she had done, but she was… hurt by his words. Like she expected him to still worship her even now and was shocked to find he didn't.

The tall, thin one in the middle started to chuckle as the family drama played out like the puppet theatre before them. I knew not which one he was. I would assume he was Aro. But I had never met any of the Guard in person. I knew of them. All of them. I had studied them. The mother had wished us to never question the necessity of the Guard. She created us to fight the wolves—the ones who sought to destroy the vampire order. But she also never wanted her soldiers to be a part of this world. It wasn't until Alice came into my life that I ever considered a greater part of the world than the war.

I had no human memories. I had only my duty and I never questioned it. Until that pixie minx came along and questioned it for me. But the stories that Alice and Carlisle, and even Edward told did not come with illustrations. I would only imagine the one in the center to be Aro because he considered himself the high king. He would be at the side of no one.

"Welcome children." He said in an almost grandfatherly voice. I sneered at his words. I would never be his child. Chelsea or not. It would only be an illusion.

"What do you want with us Aro?" Carlisle said. "What crime has my family committed?"

Aro laughed once more—raising a hand to stay Carlisle's questions. "Nothing my old friend." Carlisle's body was chagrined at the endearment. "It is simply a request that has been brought to our attention. We wish for you to stay as guests… but," He glanced between my self and Emmett. My fists clenched as if preparing to fight. "We find it difficult to sway your boys to the possibility."

"I think you'll find none of us wish to stay here as a guest, Aro." Carlisle stated with no emotion.

"Ah. I see. So… we move straight on into the business." Aro's eyebrows rose as if that had been a question.

"Ms. Rosalie? Do you have something you wish to ask of your father?"

My body was ravaged again with the Cullen blend of apprehension and anger. Emmett was the hardest one to fight off. He was at war with his self. A very big part of his body felt almost vindicated… perhaps because no one ever thought Rosalie to be an honest person. But there was a part of Em that was ready to violently shield her from whatever lies were being forced on her. He loved her. He wanted to protect her. He would be devastated when he found out the truth of her betrayal.

I was, again, shocked to find that Esme was the completely opposite of Carlisle. She did not feel anger towards her daughter. She felt compassion. She felt sympathy. She felt like she wanted to throw her arms around Rosalie and forgive her. I rolled my eyes at the thought—women!

"I…I…" Rosalie's voice lost all of her steely confidence that she prided herself on.

"You… you… wish to ask for Carlisle's choice. For him to change your past—yes?" The evil wink of pleasure in Aro's eye almost made me feel sorry for Rosalie. I did not think she was manipulated into this position. She would have given up everything to turn back the years and die a mortal death. But the way that Aro dealt with her—she was not in control of this ploy either.

I tried to read the emotional imprints of the Three… nothing. The shield again. Whoever it was—they were very powerful. And they had the ability to project the shield without being close to the object that was protected. That was something I was not used to. It was curious.

"Never." Carlisle's voice was black. His tongue dripped acid hatred toward the very idea of changing the past. He simply told them do your worst. I will not change my mind.

"Felix would love to spend another night with your darling Esme." Aro said in that sweetly evil voice. "She is so easily torn away from you all—so easily separated from what is important to you. Is she not Carlisle?"

Carlisle drew in a sharp breath. His mood shifted to panic. I ran through Aro's words… separated from what was important… torn away from you all… what did it mean. Separated… torn… sep… NO! They had torn apart her body! And forced Carlisle to watch?

I snarled as I watched Aro's eye light up. Carlisle said nothing. I could hear Esme whispering reassurances to him softly. She was not afraid to be tortured again. It was the right thing to do. To not give in to these demons.

"Please Carlisle." Rosalie hissed. "Just do it. And this can all end."

Yes. This—all of it. Our lives together. Our family. Who knew what else would be different in the present when Rosalie's life was changed in the past? Emmett would not be a part of the family. And with Rosalie and Emmett removed from the picture, how much could it still look the same?

"I can't… I can't…" Carlisle was breathing. But I couldn't tell if it was in regards to Rosalie's request of the threat to Esme. Probably both.

"Oh well. Maybe you will have an answer for us later. Felix. Demetri." We roared in frustration at the threat.

There was nothing we could do. There were too many of them and they all had active gifts. I turned to find a tiny blond girl walking toward me. She wore a black hooded cloak that was draped over her shoulders. She wore a simple white bodice and matching skirt. Her eyes grew wide when she saw me. It was strange… I felt… almost as if I knew her.

"Jasper!" She whispered. I was stunned. I did not know if she had seen me while I was unconscious, but this seemed like something more. At hearing her voice some part of my mind that I was unaware of jumped to life. I could see this girl—her arms opened wide and outstretched to me for a tender hug. I could see her crying on my shoulder and laughing as we danced together in the rain.

I knew her. "Jane?" I said quietly. Everything and everyone in the room around us had just disappeared from my perception. I couldn't believe it…. It was impossible. I was over two thousand years old and I had never remembered this girl until now.

"JANE!" Aro commanded and she jumped back. An equally tiny boy put his arm over her shoulder. He glared daggers at me as he passed. That was Alec. I just knew it. If she was Jane, the boy beside her could only be Alec.

I shook my head and allowed Felix to drag me from the room. I thought too late to search for Alice. She was already gone. Damn. I wanted to see her—I needed to talk to her now more than ever. It was so impossible.

I sensed her feelings as I left the room—Jane's. She was pulled in two different directions. She had a loyalty to Aro—but she had a deeper bond to me. One that even Chelsea could not break. One forged long before we became vampires.

She was my twin sister.He

**\/Darkside\/**

**RPOV **

I couldn't believe it! He promised! He said I would be kept from the dungeons… kept from having to deal with… them. My… the Cullens. And not only was I chained up to Jasper's side all week—I was forced to face Carlisle's wrath in front of all of them. Even Emmett. Especially Emmett.

It didn't matter. It shouldn't have mattered.

But now I was chained up across a tiny dungeon cell… from Emmett.

He just kept staring at me with his wide baby boy eyes. Why? You should know I'm no good Em! You should know I would have done this eventually.

"I love you Rose." He said simply. I couldn't meet his eyes. I just stared at my hands and bit my lip. Did I love him? The way that I knew he loved me? I didn't think so.

"I don't care. Whatever they say. Whatever you did… I don't care. We can leave the family—after we get out of here. We can be on our own. And you can be and do whatever you want. Please Rose. Believe me baby. I'm gonna get us out of here… and then…"

"No." I interrupted suddenly. Stop it now Em. Stop the hoping and the gut wrenchingly sweet support. You need to be strong enough to hate me right now. Because I'll never be happy in that life.

"I want _this_." I stressed the meaning by waving my hand toward the black stone wall.

"Nah…" He scoffed. He tried to laugh. But the sound was weak… he was already starting to doubt. Or he was finally starting to trust that part of his mind that always knew I'd fail him some day.

"Yes." I raised my eyes to his. I was the evil bitch they all knew me to be. "If they had to rip Esme apart piece by piece while Carlisle watches… or if Edward has to watch Bella be burned on a stake. If Jasper has to see Alice tortured or even if you have to be beaten by an army of the guards… whatever it takes for the choice to be made. I… support it. I want _this_!"

His eyes grew dark. A low growl rumbled in his chest. And his giant fists tightened in barely contained rage.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(Boston 1924)**

"Sit up straight Rosalie." The older woman said in that mockingly sweet voice. I might only be a five year old, but even I could see both sides of that witch.

The one that everyone insisted that I call 'mother' had called the old cow that as well. It was just a title to me. I had no mother. I had nannies. I had servants and maids. I had no mother.

I had my beauty. And I had my Papa. No one else mattered.

I wanted to ask where he was—probably off saving the world or making some very important business deal. Everything he did was very important and highly impressive. He was perfect.

"Child, you should be happy that your looks are beyond compare. Because your manners are almost nonexistent." The old crow was screeching at me again. I turned to the mother person—she just glared her agreement at me with silent looks of distain.

I cowered back in my chair. I couldn't wait until Papa was home.

**\/Darkside\/**

**May (1935)**

One month until I turned sixteen. I supposed I should have been overjoyed. I never could understand why. The girls at the social club were always excitedly chirping on and on about their sweet sixteen wishes.

It was uselessness to me. I had everything I could ever want. I was the most beautiful girl in town. I was the wealthiest girl in town. And I could have my pick of any of the boys that they were drooling over.

But I didn't want any of them. I had my Papa. A girl didn't need a boy until he was ready to be a man and husband. I wouldn't waste my time with any of the simpletons around here.

Papa promised that he would find me a husband. One that would treat his princess right. It made me smile when he said things like that to me. He loved me so. And it made me love him all the more to hear how much he cherished having his Rose around to brighten up his life.

I was early getting home that day. I had stopped by the dress shop for the final fitting as mother had demanded. Everything was perfect. Now all I had to do was wait.

It was strange—there was no one in the house when I got there. The servants were all out. Odd. Mother never let the servants leave the house early.

I didn't know what it was—the noise I heard from upstairs. A part of me told me to ignore it and go into the study to read. But I was curious. As I got closer to the second floor the noise was growing in volume… a loud almost painful sound.

Moaning. I was almost worried as I neared the door to my parents' bedroom. If someone was hurt inside there was nothing I could do to help. The servants were all gone.

"Yes… please… more…" Mother's voice was moaning… her breath was ragged. I heard what sounded like a slap followed by a slight scream.

I reacted. Before I knew it, the door was open and I was standing there with wide innocent eyes as they continued their play. Neither of them seemed to notice me. I stood there—watching as the butler pounded his cock into mother's body. And I watched her—her face was strained in to an almost tortured beauty. It looked like it hurt, but the sounds coming from her told me she enjoyed it.

I closed the door quietly and ran to my room. They never stopped. They never acknowledged me. Maybe they wouldn't say anything.

I forgot about it. Pushed it from my mind. When I heard them emerge from the room twenty minutes later I staid in my room and ignored them. By the time Papa came home I was back to the old Rose. I greeted him and never belied any hint of the distress that mother's affair should have caused on the family.

It was her problem to deal with. She got her self into that mess… now she would have to get herself out.

**\/Darkside\/**

**June (1935)**

The party was wonderful. Naturally. Everything was perfect. Of course. It was almost boring to have to entertain everyone with my presence. Yes, I was the most beautiful sixteen year old. Yes, my party was absolutely perfect. What else did anyone expect?

I kept searching the corners for him, but he wasn't there. Papa. He promised he would be here tonight. Something must have come up. That was the explanation.

I walked out in to our garden—it was just after midnight.

I heard laughing in the darkness. Papa? Yes, that was his voice. And a woman's…

My feet were heavy as I followed those sounds. I had tried to forget what I saw that day of mother. I refused to believe I would see the like with father.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I found him lying on his back as the maid stood beside him. Good. Of course. He would never be caught in such lewd acts as that woman who wanted to be my mother.

"Rose? Is that my Rose?" Papa spoke very loudly—it made me giggle. He seemed a little over excited as he saw me.

The maid's eyes shifted nervously to mine. I glared at her. The help knew better than to make unwanted eye contact with me.

"That is all Mary." He said, the words slightly slurred. Odd. I had never known Papa to have anything but perfectly articulate speech.

"Come to me my darling Rose." He said reaching for me as Mary ran off to the house—an empty bottle in her hand.

I giggled and lay down next to him. His arm draped over my shoulder. His hand caressed my shoulder. I melted in to his side. A girl could feel no safer than she did in her father's arms.

"Look at those stars, Rosey. Which one would you like? My gift for you."

I pointed directly above us. "That one!' I proclaimed.

"Done!" He shouted and his arm crushed me closer into his side as we laughed.

His hand moved under my arm—slightly cupping my right breast. I was caught off guard momentarily at the feel of it there. He had never touched me like that before.

"You are so beautiful tonight sweetheart." I smiled—the hand forgotten like mother's moans that dark afternoon.

"Thank you." It meant something when he said it. To everyone else I simply was beautiful. But with Papa… I was only beautiful if he said I was.

The hand at my breast moved out—covering the entire breast. I froze. What was happening to me? What was he doing?

I was afraid. But why? He was my father. He would never hurt me. Why was this one gesture making me shake in fear?

The hand squeezed my breast and I whimpered slightly. What in the hell was going on?

"Quiet now, my dear. We don't want anyone worried over nothing." His breath stank of some fowl alcohol as he leaned over to face me. Tears were stinging behind my eyes. I was so scared.

"Good girl Rosey." I tried to scream as his lips locked over mine. I wanted to fight him—but he was my Papa. I couldn't fight him.

He tore my bodice open and my body was quaking in fear—what was happening!

"No!" I wanted to scream… but his hand secured over my mouth.

**\/Darkside\/**

I walked in through the kitchen door. I didn't know if anyone was still in the house. I couldn't see or hear anything.

My hands were clutching my torn dress over my naked breasts. I was shaking. And I just kept repeating "no".

I found myself standing in the entry way… the same room where I had heard the same disgustingly filthy sounds coming from mother's mouth as I had heard from father's chest just moments ago.

I stood there and let out a blood curdling shriek. I couldn't stop. The sound was ripped from my chest over and over and over. My throat felt coarse and my body shook with the force of my terror.

My hands were claws but there wasn't anything to fight anymore. Just the useless sound—expelled from my body as if that could wash me clean again.

"Rose!" Father was yelling. The house was still filled with everyone who attended the party. They all watched me with wide shocked eyes.

I felt his hands on me again. NO! He would never touch me again!

I jumped back and lost my footing.

The world went black as my head collided with the banister.

**\/Darkside\/**

There was a raging fire around me. Hell. I was in hell. No—I had survived hell. This was a piece of cake compared to that.

The flames purged that weakness from me. I felt strong and powerful with each minute that the fire claimed me. Yes. I would be able to fight back now.

Eventually I could move—and then I could open my eyes. There were three of them standing around me when I came to. But I didn't care. I launched myself away from them—I had something far more pressing to take care of.

It was the middle of the day. I caught his scent on the breeze. This new body was magnificent in speed and ability. My command of the new instincts was amazingly gratifying. I would not be the weak one now.

That bastard was lying on his back in the same dark corner of the garden when I found him.

I snarled to myself. My body wanted to drink his blood. But I had had enough of his fluids in me to last an eternity. I would simply kill him.

I ghosted to his side. I put a strong hand over his mouth. His eyes opened wide with fear. Good. Let him see how he liked it.

I ran a steel finger down his chest. He howled as my finger touched the bone beneath the pulled apart flesh and muscles. The blood was tempting—but not enough for me to feed on it.

I looked him deep into his baby blue eyes. Asshole. "DIE." I said. I put my hands on either side of his face and pulled. His head came away from his body as if he were a rag doll and not a human man.

I tossed it into the bushes, wiping the blood on his shirt.

The tiny gasp behind me only aided me in registering the sweet delicious scent of her blood.

I spun to find my mother standing behind me. "Rose?" She breathed. But there was no time for explanations. I lunged at her and dug my teeth deep in to her neck.

I drank deep of her blood. It was so good—tangy but sweet. It soothed the itch in my throat.

When I was finished I dropped her body beside his. I looked down at my blood stained hands with hard cold eyes.

The blond one that was there when I woke was standing here now. I glared at him. I could smell it—there was something new in me that I could smell coming off of him. He did this to me.

"What am I?" I asked with rage filled eyes.

His face was remorseful as he appraised me. "I'm sorry. There was no time to ask for your choice…. But you're now a…" His eyes shifted down to my dead parents. "A vampire." He said sadly.

"You did this to me?" I asked with hatred in my voice. I appreciated the power to kill that bastard who had hurt me, but I did not know what this meant for my future.

"Yes, you were dying…. You… I… I wanted you to be my daughter."

Wrong thing to say. I hissed at his words and backed away from him in a defensive crouch. He seemed puzzled by my action. I would never be another man's daughter.

Warm comforting hands eased on to my shoulders. "It's alright sweetie." The kindest voice I had ever heard said.

I turned to find the woman who was there when I woke. She seemed so kind. I felt myself drawn to her—felt myself wanting to call her mother.

She brushed her hand gently over my hair. "We'll help you through this."

I nodded and she hugged me. It was the first time in my entire life that I had truly known a moment of love. I had no idea who this woman was—but I knew she loved me.

I hugged her back in the most sincere way I knew. I was at a loss—not having any prior knowledge of such feelings.

She smiled at me. "I'm Esme. Your new mother."

I smiled back at her… yes, she certainly was.


	20. Chapter 20: Kiss of Death

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"—The Joker.

If you had to kill the one you loved in order to survive, could you do it? Is life worth living if it is forever lived with regret and shame? A contented soul in an immortal body is not that interesting to explore. Give me conflict. Give me drama. Give me something to fight for.

**Answer: **

Chapter 20: Do it Edward or Kiss of Death

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (the day the Cullens are taken by the Volturi, Forest Canadian border)**

I pushed my body to move faster. My life might have been extended to the infinite but my time was running short at the moment.

Already I could feel them stirring Edward awake—again. I had been ghosting though the wilderness for an hour and Edward had been conscious off and on throughout my journey.

It burned like acid eating my flesh when he was awake.

He was tortured in both states. They couldn't cut off his talent. He had total awareness whether he had control over his vision or hearing or not. But when he was "awake" they made the pain worse.

First they tortured Carlisle by way of Esme. And they made Edward watch. Then they tortured Alice… he shut down my connection during that one. I only knew the pain—I was not allowed the images. I had no idea what they had done to Alice. But Edward was a savage beast when they were done. They were lucky that Alec could sedate him enough to limit his mobility. Edward would have torn the entire city of Volterra down with his bare hands after what happened to Alice.

The multifaceted splits of my mind were working separately as we all ran toward our goal. I was minutes away from Forks—from our home. I was focused on getting us there. That was my one charge. Home. Run. Find the boys.

My lost boys.

The gifted part of my mind was tapping into the stored knowledge that Edward had given me about werewolves—at least the legend that was known to the rest of the world. The venom inside of me was telling me another story entirely—one that could be rewritten with my power. Gifted me was drawing on the untapped potential that we were becoming more and more aware of.

Erebos was right—once I accepted that I was changed anew. I was growing. My power was evolving. I could sense that whatever I wanted to be able to do—I could.

And I wanted to create a new race of warriors to help defend my family. I was still in the dark over what I was fighting or why but I would not fail those who needed me when the time came.

Edward's words were ringing in my ears. _Erebos created the first as a cross-breed or hybrid. He blended the venom with wolf blood and injected it in to a human body. This altered them in specific ways. But don't believe in all the silver bullet and children of the moon talk._

_Like sun and holy water on our skin—the wolves are not affected by such nonsense. But there is one very big difference… werewolves require blood to survive as well._

_Not blood like we do—they are living creatures that can age and shift back to being human if they desire. But in their wolf form… they are tapping into the venom and the venom has only one source of nourishment. Blood._

_Being that they are animals—they are natural predators of other animals. Human blood is not as tempting but don't be fooled into believing that they are above the flavor should it be available when they are thirsty. The human forms of the elders want to call us demons—but I have seen my fair share of wolves with human blood on their lips and no regrets in their minds. _

I shook my head as I processed the memory. There was something missing. Something that I had to put together. I ran over the last words that he told me.

_Bella, you must always remember that werewolves are our natural enemy. They were created to destroy us. They have the ability to destroy us. They are the only thing we fear._

The only thing we fear… fear… I fell to my knees and came to a sudden stop. My body was thrashing on the forest floor.

PAIN. ANGUISH. FIRE. LOVE. PAIN.

My body seized and my chest arched up as if my heart were being pulled by the strings of a puppet master.

_Edward_.

My vision saw the forest bleed away as the dark cold stones of an ancient dungeon appeared. This menacing place was enough to torture me with its evil presence. But what little glimpses I got from Edward I knew what I would truly fear. Volterra. The wolves seemed like harmless puppies compared to the creatures in the dark caverns of that awful prison.

Aro stepped into Edward's vision. His scarlet eyes smiled a wicked smile past Edward's blackened thirst crazed eyes—and straight to me.

"How long can this go on my dear?" He asked. I felt and heard Edward snarl and struggle against the restraints that held him back. He couldn't shut me off. They used his pain to pull me through. I could feel Edward trying to close the connection but it was too late. I was already in his mind—trapped.

Edward continued to only look at the ceiling. What was it he was hiding?

"Look at me Edward." Aro coaxed with a disapproving voice—like a parent scolding a defiant child. "Chelsea." He spoke when Edward did not comply.

"_No_…" Edward moaned in a hoarse voice. I could feel the weakness spreading like a thick poison in his body. He could not resist the pull she gave him toward Aro.

He would not blindly follow him, but he could no longer care to protect whatever it was he was hiding from me- Or from his self.

I did not like that bitch inside his body. Her ooze tried to touch me and I lashed out with my gift. I could hear her hiss and cower away from Edward as if she had been physically struck.

She couldn't break this bond. I realized that was what was keeping Edward from kissing Aro's feet. The sweet sticky confectionary taste of her lies made it seem so appealing to be under Aro's command. The pain would stop. He would protect us—but then I knew that was not true.

Edward snarled again.

"Look at me Edward." This time he did without question. Not out of loyalty to Aro—out of a lack of love for his mother.

I gasped. Elizabeth Masen lay sleeping on the dungeon floor in front of Edward. I marveled at whatever it was she had become. She was not a living human anymore—but she was trapped in a venom induced coma. The body had died a mortal death—but there was enough venom in her body to keep her undead. But she had never been bitten. She would need a direct venom injection to complete her transformation.

I suddenly realized who Aro intended to truly make suffer. Not the Cullens.

Erebos.

"Why?" I heard my voice speak through Edward's lips. Edward narrowed his vision to match my sentiment. Like we were one mind in one body.

Aro laughed and shook a finger at us. "Ah ah ah!" he scolded. "You know it is not wise to give away the ending before the story is begins." He brushed his hand across Elizabeth's forehead.

_Edward_… I heard a foreign voice whisper across Edward's mind. He shuddered—both physically and internally.

_Who was that Edward?_ I thought.

_My mother_. He replied. His thoughts turned frantic. I could sense a terror building deep inside of myself that was an echo of the emotion he was welling inside of his soul. Fear—for me. _Bella… get out. Find a way out and hide. Don't… I can't_…

_Shhh_… I wanted to soothe him but now was not the time that I could waste. I had to do what he said. Watching this would only keep me from where I was needed. I hated to do. This would mean I would have no way of contacting him again. Without some physical connection I would lose this tie completely if I did it.

_Please, Bella… you have to_. I wanted to cry. He would be more vulnerable if I did. I thought of Chelsea—she would not give up her attempts to sway Edward. If I broke now—she just might stand a fighting chance to pull the illusion over him.

_I am still yours love—never doubt that. I know that I never will_.

Why did he have to make it so easy to believe this was right?

_I love you Edward_. I whispered across his mind with all of my frozen heart.

_I know_. Was all he said.

I focused on the trees above me. They were hidden behind the image in Edward's mind at first. But I was reminding myself that they were there. Edward was not. I was not with him.

Slowly I started to feel my back pressed against the dirt. I could make out a faint outline of leaves just past Elizabeth Masen's body. I gritted my teeth. The bond I had forged in Edward's mind during our lovemaking was strong. I wasn't sure that even I could break it. I was breathless from the effort. I was aware of my body straining as if I was trying to move an impossibly heavy weight from my body.

I can't do it, Edward. I felt so weak. I released the struggle and it felt as though an elastic band snapped me right back into Edward's mind.

Allow me to help, Love.

I screamed as I felt it—it was like a thousand tiny knives were slicing away at my heart and stomach and mind. I felt like I was being torn apart.

_No Edward_! I was yelling. But I had to do this. I closed my eyes and pulled away once more.

At first my mind was spinning with too much—sound. Sight. Emotion. _Make it stop Edward. Make it all go away_.

Then all the world was still and quiet—dark. Alone.

He's gone.

I opened my eyes like a widow who has just laid her husband in the earth.

I started when I saw the baby blue orbs staring back down at me. I blinked—the eyes were young and full of hope. I cocked my head as I pulled my vision back to see the face that they eyes belonged to.

He was young—maybe fifteen. And his cheeks told me that he had yet to begin to mature fully into a man. There was a dimple that popped on his right cheek as his lips pulled into a warm childlike smile. A twinkle gleamed in the corner of his eye.

"Hi," his voice was filled with anticipation and excitement. "I'm Seth."

I closed my eyes and moaned. When he said boys—he meant _BOYS_.

Damn it. I sighed. I had a very long road ahead of me…. I opened my eyes to spy Seth once more. His smile fell into a goofy grin and he nodded his head. And I was going to have to do this all alone.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (Volterra dungeon)**

"Is she gone Edward?"

I nodded at my master's words. That was fast—some distant part of my mind was reeling at the fact that I was already a slave to his will. But that part was getting further and further away from me now. I only had one voice in my head.

I looked to my left to find her standing there with a venom dipped smile cast my way. I smiled at her in return. I wanted to. She was my sister—I was loyal to her now.

The restraints on my arms were dropped. I made no move to fight or escape. This was my home now. This is where I belonged. I watched my master and awaited his command.

"What do you think Edward?" His voice told me he regarded my mind as an equal to his in intellect. He would hold my opinion in respect. I realized that I could only guess at his thoughts, however—his mind was still black to me.

"About what, Master?" I whispered worshipfully.

"Should I take her now… or wait until he is here and have him watch?"

I scowled as I contemplated what would be most advantageous. Now would mean an upper hand. When the dark lord got here the deed would already be done. There would be no hope of stopping it from happening. He would be driven to madness from the pain—that might make him unstable enough to destroy. But then, it could enrage a slumbering dragon. There was no limit to what he was capable of—better to tempt him through bait than to wait to suffer his wrath.

"Give me your hand, son." He said reaching his ancient fingers toward me. I had forgotten that though we shared a similar talent—his was dependent on touch. I reached my hand out slowly. I was almost trembling in reverence at the anticipation of touching my flesh to his.

When a loud knock on the door sent him flying to his feet and allowed my hand to return to my lap—untouched.

I watched the sleeping woman as he talked to the guard. If he did not invite me into the conversation—it did not concern me. Though I could not turn off my mind. I gleaned the fact that several of the guard at the city wall were gone. No trace of them anywhere.

Erebos.

He was here so soon.

Chelsea was impressed. I did not turn my head to regard her as her thoughts washed across my mind. She found active powers such as hers and Erebos' as treasures that made them better than all other vampires.

"Come my dear." My master said turning to Chelsea. "Edward," his eyes were lethal as they regarded me. "Do not do anything stupid." His threat was branded to my bones with Chelsea's gift—she made it impossible for my body to move without his will for it to happen. I nodded as he nodded. I would never dream of disobeying him.

Five minutes after they left the room—I was over the sensation of loyalty.

"Fascinating." She said from the corner. I winked at her. My little mind Bella sat smiling back at me.

I rolled my eyes as I thought of the laughs Alice was going to get from this. She was a permanent fixture to my vision now. No one else could see her—but I could never see anything without her in it.

"Why can't I hide anymore, Edward?" She asked scooting closer to my mother. She ran her invisible hand over my mother's cheek. I sighed.

"Because there is nothing for you to return to right now. I closed that door Bella." I scowled at her wondrous eyes as they watched me with more questions that I was certain I would not have the answers to.

"But I'm not from her Edward." She was suddenly straddling my lap. I sighed again. My Bella apparition was always ready for sex.

She giggled. "You mean you are." She winked at me and leaned in to kiss my lips. It was stronger than the lies that Chelsea convinced my body to follow. Like a shockwave to my dormant heart—her lips were pure electricity upon mine.

"What do you mean, minx?" I smiled as she did.

"I am just a part of you Edward. I am your mind… your soul. You control me."

I scowled again. "But you told me that you were there… back at the house. You said to not long for Bella because you were with me."

She giggled again. "Of course silly," her hand lightly slapped my cheek. "Can't I be both? Can't I be that part of her that will always be inside of you? Right here…" She pointed her finger at my chest. I felt the electric shock there too.

"It does explain it though," she went on like we were having a discussion and not a lesson in which she was some extroverted part of my mind that I did not have conscious control over. "If you broke off from her… I can't hide in your mind right now. I have to be here—or else you'll lose that too." Her eyes were serious as they trapped my gaze.

"Hold on to me Edward." My hands reflexively encircled her waist. She smiled. "I meant it figuratively but that works too." She traced her finger around my lips. "You are always making me hunger for your touch anyway."

I sighed. How was I to accomplish anything with Bella always on my mind?

"I'll be good." She promised. She was suddenly sitting back in her corner. She waved her hand—wiggling her fingers at me. I frowned. "Grumpy." She complained.

That made my face melt a little. I turned to the darkness and listened for the thoughts of the guards. There were none. Aro trusted that Chelsea's gift would not wear off so easily with me.

I glanced at Bella once more. "Yep." She said nodding her head. She was my buffer. Good.

Next I turned to the shadows in the opposite corner from Bella. I arched an eyebrow to offer him the all clear to come out.

I heard his thoughts the second Aro asked my opinion. He was here the whole time—biding his time to strike.

"Forgive me, son." Erebos' voice was pained as his body took solid form. I nodded. The capture was unavoidable. Bella was his priority at that moment—Aro knew that would happen. He knew exactly when to strike.

"How is he getting his information? There has only ever been one vampire psychic." Alice was the only one in all six thousand years of vampires who had been able to see the future.

"He saw it in me. When I changed him—I was connected to you. All of Carlisle's family and their gifts. And little Alice was there too—teasing me with what she saw. And when he touched me…" I nodded. When Aro touched the skin of another he could see every thought that that mind had ever had. And Erebos' mind had seen many, many things.

"Forgive me." He hung his head and he kneeled close to my mother. I noted again that he staid far enough away to not touch her.

"What is it that stops you?" I begged. It made me curious. Even when I was certain that I would kill Bella from touching her, I could not resist the pull. I knew if I had not taken her that day in the forest, I would have eventually still had to touch her in some way. She was my other half.

"I can't. It's not right." Right. Wrong. Good. Bad. Dark. Light. What difference did any of that make to this creature? He was born before any of it had meaning.

"She gives it meaning, son. And I owe her the respect of that. I betrayed her—drank your brother's blood. I am not worthy to touch her."

"Bullshit." Bella said from the corner in my mind.

Erebos laughed. "I think I might like her even more than the real one." I smirked when Bella's eyes grew wide. He had not let on at the house that he could hear her too. I imagined that the look of awe in her eyes was that part of my mind that was impressed by… my father. He was an awesome… person.

Erebos' eyes turned to face me with a stern intense emotion. "Father. Person." It was neither a question nor a statement. He was reeling from the thoughts that came so natural to my mind. He was both of those things. I knew that to be truth—now.

"Thank you." His black eyes seemed lighter as they bore into mine. They were not as void as they had been in the shadows of the Masen house. And there was a… love there that alarmed me.

He laughed again. "I take it back. Your real Bella is quite an impressive force herself. She taught me to love."

My turn to laugh. "Me too." I said quietly. We shared a moment of bonding with our eyes and thoughts. Like father, like son.

"Now," he said turning back to my mother. "You will have to bite her Edward."

My fists clenched and I growled at his casual statement. I could see it in his mind. There was no other way to keep her safe now. There would be no place that we could hide her that Aro would not find her. She had been safe in the home because Aro believed her dead. Erebos had spent eighty years in shadow form so that Demetri could no locate him. But once I found her—see became a blip on Demetri's radar.

If I did not change her—then Aro would. And my venom was Erebos' venom. That would count for something when it mattered.

"Are you sure you don't wish to do it yourself?" I pleaded with my eyes.

He shook his head. "I gave my last drop to Carlisle. I carried but one more—and that was passed to you. If I bite her now—I will only feed and she will die. It's been too long my son… so long."

I could see what he meant. Erebos had not fed on blood—any blood—since the day he met my mother. Even when he left her, while she carried me, he denied himself blood.

"Call it the conscience of a monster." He whispered. "I could not desire it once I saw that it fueled her body. Once I tasted her lips offered to me in love…" his fingers hung a breath above her lips. "I could not hope to want it in my body anymore. But she'll change that," he looked at me with a hope that terrified me. I looked to Bella and she just shrugged her shoulders. "Bella… she'll make the new ones less dependent. Give them a choice. Give them… free will."

He nodded. I raised my eyebrows and considered what he meant. "You mean… my Bella?" He thought of Bella. I gasped. She looked different in his mind. More powerful. She looked… complete. Good. That was what she needed. To pull herself together would be to give her self the strength to fight what was coming.

"What is coming father?"

He turned to look at me with grave eyes. "I don't know, son. Only your sister knows. But they are… trying to beat her into submission and force it out of her."

My closed my eyes against the memory. Aro used his secret weapon, Hemera, on Alice. She controlled a beam of light that burned as bright as the sun. She burned Alice's mind with the shaft of light.

I clenched my teeth against the memory of Alice's screams. It was electric shock therapy to an immortal mind. Either Aro wanted her crazy or he wanted her unable to ever see what he had planned.

"A little of both I think. I believe that he thinks that by breaking down Alice's mind—he can force the visions to come to her unhindered. Right now she has to guess what she sees. And she doesn't always see what she is looking for. Aro believes that is due to her remaining human mind. But he does not want an adversary who can see him coming either. The poor dear."

I watched him again—amazed. Carlisle had spent a century convincing us that Erebos was evil. That he had no soul and no heart. That he was never human. The man in front of me now was powerful, but he was a man.

Again he looked at me with pride in his eyes. "You… the two of you—Bella and you… you are the true miracles Edward. Now," he nodded toward my mother's sleeping body. "Do it."

I crawled over to her. My mother looked so helpless—as she had for so long in my childhood. I sat on my heels with Bella behind me. I found myself in a memory—just like the day she and I first died. I prayed that she would not come back to life in time to finish the job today.

I lowered my lips to her neck. I reached across her body and bite the right side of her neck. My lips pulled back from my teeth. I closed my eyes. _Forgive me mother_. I thought.

I pressed my lips to her skin in a deadly kiss. I could hear the slight tearing of her flesh as my teeth bit through to her veins. Her blood ran cold—it was not blood at all, but a combination of venom plasma. It made my stomach seize and my body jumped away from the taste.

The change came on quick. Her body jumped to life as my venom entered it and pulsed through her system—faster than a human's heart would have pumped it.

I could hear Aro shouting from the halls. He knew what I had done. Erebos was gone when I looked back at the shadows. _Bide your time old man_. I thought, and heard his chuckle across my mind.

I sat, with my invisible Bella at my side, and watched as my mother crossed over to the undead.

Bide your time.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (one week later—Cullen house Forks)**

I cringed as I heard another window crashing down. "JACOB!" I yelled.

"Not my fault!" He shouted back almost before I finished his name. It was annoying how he did that—like he had some sixth sense about me. They all did. It was just strange—I lived with a mind reader but he couldn't read my mind. The boys all seemed to have some kind of connection to my thoughts without even trying.

"Honest momma Bella," Seth said throwing up his hands. I wanted to be able to be annoyed every time he called me that. Be he was just too cute. "It was Paul and Jared this time."

I scowled as the guilty stood in the kitchen shrugging their shoulders. "You need to learn control." I reiterated for the hundredth time that hour. "I won't cross any of you over until you do. This strength you have right now is just an echo of what will be. If you can't control _this_… you will never be able to control _that_."

Jacob studied me with curious eyes. "Explain to me again, oh wise and great vampress leader, why it is that you know all of this." I resisted the urge to throw him through the remaining great window.

"Because I do." He rolled his eyes at my statement. I stuck out my tongue. Seth laughed.

"Alright!" I commanded. They all knelt at the sound. I actually did have more studying to do—I had no idea why they were so willing and loyal as soon as they met me. And they came to me without any call.

"We had warning." Sam said from the doorway where he knelt. I rolled my eyes again. I was rather glad that Edward couldn't read my thoughts when we were together—this was so frustrating.

"What does he mean?" I asked Seth. For some reason the annoying stuff was more tolerable coming from him.

He smiled up at me. "The wolves—they came to our elders and warned us that you were coming. It's been imprinted in our blood since birth—for every generation since the great wars. The Quileutes tribe has always been loyal to the master… um… Erebos?" I nodded. "Yeah, the big creepy shadow guy gave our eldest elder the first wolf blood—binding us to your venom."

"And to think," I said frowning at the most annoying of them all—Jacob Black. "I am the one accused of knowing too much."

Jacob smirked up at me—a little too familiar for my liking. "Run." I commanded. They all jumped to their feet and launched out of the now permanently open back wall. Before he left, Jacob turned back and winked at me.

I stuck my tongue out once. He laughed and joined his pack brothers.

I shook my head. What in the hell was I going to do with a pack of teenage boys who could read my mind? Revert and become one myself apparently.

I ended up in Carlisle's study. Under a floorboard and with a special key that he kept hidden in a locket he gave to Esme—Carlisle hid the true story of our vampire father.

I turned to the passage on wolves and headed up to my room. I missed Edward less when I was here.

_I'll rip out his throat_. My love's voice echoed across my mind. I smiled.

_He's harmless_. I thought. _Though_… I considered the potential I could see in Jacob's mind. _He does have a destiny before him. I don't know what—but it's there_.

_Yes_. Edward's voice agreed. _A future that has nothing to do with you_. I rolled my eyes. Even the Edward that my mind created on its own was too possessive for my own good.

I heard Jared complaining to Jacob about the physical exertion and I silently commanded them another two hours.

I heard Jacob laugh in my mind as my fingers trailed along the ancient scroll.

_Werewolves are of a pack mind—with a need for an Alpha to lead_. I sighed.

Damned it all. My finger covered the name of the first and I prayed that when I moved it I could will it changed.

I read the inscription one last time—_the Alpha will be the only one to be tied to the master by pack bond. His mind will lead the pack to do the master's biding. He will have free will to challenge the master's commands but the pack will have no choice but to follow his law._

_The Alpha will be born of the strongest blood—uniting him to the master's venom power._

I cringed as I lifted my finger once more to reveal the name of the first—the strongest blood belonged to Murat Black.

I sighed. I would trade places with any of my tortured family members right now. I could handle pain. I could handle altering the reality of everyone around me. But I had no stomach for being challenged by Jacob Black.

I had only known him for seven days—but that much I was certain of.

Across my mind I heard Jacob laugh and Edward growl.


	21. Chapter 21: Confidences

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars…" – Charles Austin Beard.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor…" Edward Cullen (Stephenie Meyer, New Moon)

What is darkness—it is only the absence of light? Or is it just an unknowing. A memory lost for two thousand years. A misunderstood betrayal. A heart that reawakens without its love beside it. When it seems all hope is lost—how does one see through the dark?

**Answer:**

Chapter 21: The tide will turn or Confidences

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV (2 months after arriving in Volterra)**

Light. Dark. Stone. Grass.

Edward. Edward was lying. On his back. Stones underground. Light in the sky.

Moon. Blood red. Blood moon. New Moon. Old Moon….

Bella. Howls. Fangs. Wounds. Death. Victory.

Father. Lover. Brother. Sister. Son… mother. No mother. Need mother….

Darkness. Light. Everything nothing.

Bella in Edward's arms. Rose in Em's. Carlisle holding Esme…. Jasper… Jasper's arms are empty…

Where am I?

"Alice?" dark voice. Dark man. Darkness… no more darkness. I can see… I can see him.

Eyes search darkness and I see him. Feel him.

Breath comes fast—why? Lungs don't work.

"Come with me sweetheart." Yes sweet. Heart. Blood. Thirst. Need.

Death. Dark. Death.

"This is going to feel very strange. Maybe painful." Warning. Threat. Pain. No more pain. Absence. Darkness.

Words. No words. Pain. No pain. Darkness. Stretching. Dissolving.

Light. So much light. No more darkness.

"Open your eyes Alice." Above. Savior from above. Erebos—dark man. Protector. Trust. Love. Need.

"It's alright. I'll protect you. But we have to get back. I could only get you out—now we have to travel on foot back… to Forks."

Forks. Spoons. Eat. Food. Blood. Death.

Bella. Wolves. Fight.

Death.

Twins. Advantage. Children. Mothers.

I saw her—the white witch. Cower. Scream. Hide.

"Lilly!" Lips. Sound. Words. Threat.

"I know Alice. Rest. I'll protect you."

Eyes.

Closed.

See everything.

See nothing.

War. Death. Loss. Vengeance.

Before.

This has all happened before.

Out of order. Need some order.

Advantage. New hope.

Victory.

Sleep.

Darkness.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Esme POV (same day)**

"Jasper, please look at me." I supposed that there are some women who consider themselves mothers who would have given up by now. But I knew that the minute you gave up on your child you could no longer call yourself a mother.

My heart clenched as my son's eyes squeezed tighter shut. He closed himself down to try not to feel what was going on around us. At least that was the lie he was telling himself. Really he was trying to not face the tumult raging inside of his own body. Every now and then he would slip and I would feel a shot of the anguish hit me—my eyes instantly wishing they could purge tears.

I couldn't say for certain how long we'd been here now. I knew it was many weeks since the day we were brought to the great hall. And it had been days since we saw any sign of the guards or Aro. Carlisle always said that time had a different meaning to the Volturi. When you lived for thousands of years—months were like hours.

My heart sighed at the thought of my husband. He must be in so much darkness right now. I wished with all my heart to have a gift like one of my children—to be able to reassure him that he was doing the right thing. That I would rather be tortured than see any of our family suffer from a wrong decision.

"Please Esme…" Jasper pleaded through tight lips. His eyes were closed tighter still. "Please stop thinking about him." There was an agony to his voice that broke my heart anew. "Stop." He groaned breathlessly.

I tried. My face strained as it once would have for tears to form and fall. I wanted to lock myself down to stop torturing him but I couldn't… that was my talent. My heart—my feelings. I felt them too strong for the ones I loved.

Damn Aro to hell. He knew exactly what he was doing by putting me in this cell with Jasper. I was the greatest torture for him right now. The unfathomable black hole of emotions.

I bit my lip and focused on nothing—just the dark stone walls. I disliked the color. I preferred cool tones. Our eyes could pick up colors beyond the human rainbow in shades of white. But black—it was void of all things. Or perhaps it was filled with everything and there by could not be properly appreciated because they were layered to closely on top of each other.

"Thank you." Jasper whispered in reverence. I suddenly realized that my mindless rambling of color combination self evaluation had drawn me out of my heart for a moment. A breather for my son.

"Jasper… please speak to me." I tried not to sound too pathetic. But I was the weakest of my family when it came to situations like this. I had fought in my human life—survived. But I was very sheltered in my vampire existence. I had physical strength but I was… scared. Scared for my family and what could be happening to them right now. Afraid that when the time came I would be too late to help them. Terrified of being parted from Carlisle forever.

His eyes stayed shut but he breathed a sigh that relaxed his whole form. A good start I thought. "What would you like to talk about… mom?" I smiled. The boys all used to say that to be cheeky. Carlisle would refer to me as 'your mother' but most of my kids found it odd to call me by the title. With the exception of Rose and Emmett—my other kids were born before me. But now when they said it—they meant it. Even Rose. I refused to give up on that truth.

"Why did you look at Jane that way? I thought you never met the Guard."

"I haven't."

I frowned. Jasper was not an easy one to talk to like this. It was too much like interrogation and he was a master of war. With Jasper, if he did not offer the information it was like pulling teeth to question it from him. Unless you were Alice.

"Who is she, Jasper?"

His eyes opened slowly. The black depths of his thirst filled eyes were pained. I immediately felt the echo of the sensation in my body. Not because his gift pushed it toward me, but because I am his mother.

"She is my… my…" his face was so lost. I had only seen one of my children look that way before. Edward. Edward had worn that exact same face the day he returned to Carlisle. The day he faced the other side of his nature—the "darkside", he called it.

"Your?" I prompted with my motherly patience.

"Sister." He breathed.

"Damn." I said—he laughed when he met my wide eyes. "How do you know that? I thought your human memory…"

He nodded. "It was… it is… Just her… she is the only part I remember." His eyes searched the darkness as if the answers were waiting for him there.

Yes, I decided. Black was more than just an absence—it was too much. It closed in around us now and crushed us with all the fears and worries and pains that we had run from for so long. Sights and sounds and memories in numbers to great to count.

The door creaked open slowly. My breath stopped. Jasper's body tensed and he growled.

The evil cackle that rose up from the depths of the even blacker darkness in the doorway made my stomach plummet. Aro. He was here.

"Are we feeling hungry yet my little pets?" I snarled at the invisible voice. Yes—it had been a very long time since we fed. I would imagine at least a month or two… and that meant control was almost impossible.

I could smell it—human. Blood. My body was instantly straining—pulled as far as the chains would allow me. Jasper wasn't much better—his body wasn't thrashing like mine was toward the scent. He was more disciplined but it was obvious that he too was drawn to the blood.

I was moving out of rational thought. My mouth was filled with venom and my throat was on fire. I didn't care that I would be ending a life. I was thirsty. I was programmed to want that promise that that blood sent my body through my nose.

"Good…" Aro chuckled. "Even the pacifist mother is ravenous. Demetri. Felix. Get the others and pull our guests down to the assembly. It is getting close to time. And Heidi will be returning soon…"

I cowered back once Aro left. The scent faded with his departure—my mind came back to my body. I flinched from the two hulks that entered the cell. They had pulled every piece of my body apart—it was only natural that I would shudder in their presence.

"Jasper?" I begged as they led us down the pitch black hall. "What is Heidi bringing into the assembly hall?" Some part of me was sure I would know but my heart was turning at the truth.

"Humans for the feast." He said with a cold detached voice.

I trembled from head to toe. I had never fallen to the temptation. Never had I tasted human blood. But I knew—all too easily, I would feast on that blood if I found myself near it tonight.

"Oh Carlisle…" I whimpered as they pushed us further in to the black darkness ahead.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (same time)**

It was the closest I would ever come to truly knowing what Bella felt like. I was so many versions of myself within my own mind that I felt as though I was drowning.

_Hold on to me Edward_. My spectral Bella would say. And I did. She was the only truth in this madness.

It all began the day she awoke. The first time she touched me—the dream began.

I shook my head as the insanity continued. I was shrouded in a thick black robe. I almost welcomed it. I had staved off Aro's touch but it would not work much longer. If he touched me—he would see her. My Bella. And all would be for nothing.

Beside me, Elizabeth Masen stood watching the crowds in the square below.

"Why can't we go out and hunt them?" She begged once more. It was eternally exhausting. Every woman I changed apparently would require me to truly treat them like my child. Bella would laugh across my mind when I thought this.

My former mother narrowed her eyes at my sigh.

"Explain it to me again—Edward." My son. Just say it mother. You can remember it. I'm him. You're her. Just remember it.

She hadn't. When she awoke—it was like she was in a fantasy, a dream. She didn't forget her human life. It was truly like she had died and was purged of the thoughts her human mind once had.

It was truly fascinating but very disturbing as well. It was what I would come to call the evidence of the soul. Was a human soul something that transcended this form once it died? Did we retain ours simply because we never truly died—just changed? My mother was interesting to study. What I would have called her soul was gone—replaced was simply a mind that learned as a child's does from birth.

She did not speak until a week after I changed her. She sat quietly and watched. Listened. Learned. Of course with vampire abilities—she not only retained in perfect clarity what she heard, she rapidly advanced her vocabulary and thoughts.

It was almost painful to have my ability now. I wished to hear none of the thoughts of my family. But they were the loudest screams in my head. They were all versions of me too. The versions that were slipping away. Without contact with any of them, and no Bella connected to my soul, I was becoming more and more _persuaded_ by Chelsea. My body had been poisoned once by the venom for the change, my mind now felt as though a new blackness was seeping in to me—calling my darkside out.

It worried me. I no longer possessed the desire to seek out the cells where my family was held. I truly only found myself drawn to Elizabeth because she was to marry my master tonight.

Her thoughts drove me even more insane.

I had not determined if she possessed a gift. Gifted vampires were born instantly with their new abilities. But the master of those gifts would be hard pressed to allow hers to flow from him I would imagine. Then again she might have something that none of us could recognize. I hadn't noticed Bella's until she used it… though I hardly realized when she first used it.

I sighed. "The Masters like their city the way it is. We have rules. To be one under the protection of the Volturi you must live under these rules. The first and foremost rule is protection—humans must never know that we exist. If we hunt them, they will figure it out. If they disappear and are drawn into our net… it is the oldest rule. Mistress."

She scowled like a two year old scolded for wanting a cookie before dinner. "He would let hunt." She taunted. I rolled my eyes.

Would he? He just might. I could see it in her mind—Aro's worship of her. It was something almost more fascinating than reading her mind. I could not know Aro's mind—his shield was strong. And so I could only guess at the motives behind his devotional eyes as they watched Elizabeth. But they were always on her—and always dancing.

I refused to believe that he loved her. Aro was incapable of love. Unlike my father, Aro truly was a man without a soul. He was corrupted and hungry for power. Erebos was simply lost—innocent to what it meant to love. But more and more these days—the more that Chelsea convinced my mind that Aro was a sort of father to me now—I was beginning to see her loved by the dark creature.

It was frustrating. It was insanity. But it was necessary.

"Come," I said holding my hand out to her. I begged whatever fates were controlling this destiny to force Aro to show his hand soon.

I could hear Esme whimpering in the distant corners of my mind. My human mother clutched my hand to follow me in to the hall while my vampire mother begged forgiveness of Carlisle.

My breath stopped. I couldn't do it. I couldn't drink human blood.

"Edward?" Elizabeth said turning when I stopped.

"I must attend to something else." I lied. I fled to my room—in the tower. The very room that Carlisle had stayed in one hundred and fifty years ago.

"Talk to me Edward." My Bella was saying. I ground my teeth and balled my fists.

"I can't do it. I made a promise to you… I can't drink..." It had been two months. Two months since they brought us here. Two months since I had last hunted with Bella in the woods before she left. Two months and my thirst was consuming me.

"What promise?" She knelt between my legs and put her hands on either side of my face. I could almost feel the electricity that used to flow between my love and me at the contact of our skin. This felt so real to me.

"I promised that since you gave me your blood… I would never drink another drop of human blood."

Bella laughed. I knew what she would say before she said it. That was one reason I knew she was really my physical Bella. "I hope that that proves your Erebos' son once and for all." She chided. I smiled.

"Yes. The similarities are to numerous to ignore any longer." I knew who my father was—both of them. And with Bella here, touching me and pulling me out of my mind—I knew that Aro was not either of them.

"It's time Edward." She said—her eyes grew hollow like Bella's did in one of our dreams. It was a moment—stored by my Bella in my mind, through this part of herself that was forever locked inside of me.

I felt my body jump against my will. Some uncontrollable force suddenly awakening inside of me.

"What is happening?" I said with a breathless fascination.

The walls of my reality seemed to shift ever so slightly.

When my focus readjusted, I found a beautiful young woman leaning against the opposite wall. Though I had no idea who she was.

"What did you do?" I searched my mind—it was dark. There were thoughts and memories, but none of who that creature was watching me.

"Shh…" She said raising a tiny finger to her perfect red lips. "It's a secret." She whispered.

I found myself smiling automatically. I wished to know more—but suddenly I was being called to my master's side.

"Let him touch you, Edward." The angel said, not coming any closer to me. "Let him touch you."

I nodded. I had no idea what she was talking about. But for her I would let every man touch me if it was what she wanted. An image of my master flitted across my mind—now I knew who she was talking about. Let him touch me.

_Earn his trust_. Her sweet voice whispered in my mind. Yes. Whatever she said.

I straightened my cloak and headed down to the feast. I could smell it already. Human blood—intoxicating. My throat burned.

Some stray thought told me that it would not be as fulfilling as it once had. That I had tasted something so delicious and so pure that even human blood would now pale in comparison but I didn't remember it.

"Come my son," my master said as the assembly stood waiting at the great door. He led us into the hall. We each had a place to stand. I was next to his chair—usurping his former favorites—Alec and Jane.

Alec's thoughts were vicious as he spied me standing there—Jane's thoughts were troubled, she hardly noticed where she stood.

I offered my master my hand. It felt natural to do so. I wondered that I had not done it before. He took it without hesitation—in fact there was almost an urgency to the swiftness of his movements.

"Ah." He said as if I had confirmed something for me. "Jane dear one." He waved her over. She glared at me and I felt her gift begin to burn my mind.

"No Jane." He warned I was released.

"Jane… do you have something you wish to tell me?" She bowed her head and offered him her hand. I could see the exchange on her end—still denied access to his thoughts.

I gasped internally and tried not to show any outward signs of distress. I didn't know why, I was a part of this coven now and should trust this new family I was in. But I knew… sensed, that I could not trust what I thought was true. The Cullens were some beacon in my mind. And with the story Jane now showed my master—I ached to find them and comfort them.

Jane was not only one of the most ruthless and lethal weapons of the Volturi coven—but she was the twin sister of my former brother Jasper. The reason Jasper became a vampire.

But even that revelation was not the biggest shock—Jane moved past her preoccupation with Jasper to show Aro what was truly troubling her. And what I saw made my mind explode.

I bit down on my surprise. And awaited the feast.

_Earn his trust_. The angel's voice echoed in my mind.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Jane POV (earlier that same day)**

Alec paced back and forth in the small room. I sat still as a stone. Playing solitaire.

"Why do you always do that?" He groaned.

"I find it relaxing." My hands and eyes swept across the cards so fast that a human would barely be laying out the cards in the time it took me to complete the game.

"It is pointless Jane. There is not purpose to playing that game when you are one of us."

"That is what you always fail to realize Alec." I raised my eyes and sent him a sly smile. He snarled as my gift made him jump. "Some times it is the simplest of things that can make one feel accomplished."

"You never make any sense. You never have."

"I did once. To someone." His growl was more than a warning it was a promise. If I did not let go of my desperation to go to Jasper—he would find a way for there to be no temptation waiting in the dungeon.

"I'm sorry." I begged. I dropped the cards and flitted to his side. "Forgive me." I pleaded. I put my hands on his face and looked deep into his eyes.

"For now." I said backing away from me. I felt cold and empty when he did that. Alec had the ability to make me feel more than anyone ever had in my two thousand years of life. Such warmth and completion that I was chained to his side with a hunger for it. He was like a drug to me—and my addiction had only grown in time.

I hugged my arms around myself to hide the ache that his dismissal caused.

"Will he be there tonight?" I knew the answer. Of course he would. Our master would enjoy if nothing else to study the torment that it caused me to see him and ignore him.

My brother. What had happened to my brother? I didn't know. Alec told me he was dead. After I… I bit him. Alec said that he died before he turned. That when he went back to the forest he was gone.

What had happened? Oh, Jasper, so many centuries lived with so much guilt. To know he survived—it was a weight off of my shoulders… But it was also a doubt that was spreading through my mind—a black poison that was blocking out what I had believed to be true for so long.

Alec hissed by the door. I had forgotten myself. It was time for us to join the others.

"I'm sorry." I said once more as I passed him and headed out in to the hall.

"Do we bring the girl with us tonight? Master Cauis seemed to think that she needed to be there physically tonight—so many gifts on the Cullen's side."

Alec nodded as he walked by my side. I often wondered if it was not as my mate that he wished to be joined to me—but rather to replace the twin that he had stolen me from in my youth.

"Yes. You will bring the girl. I am to help Marcus prepare for the ceremony."

I nodded. We split at the intersecting halls. The caverns of my family's home could be quite confusing if one attempted to navigate them on a whim. I had been here for too many years to ever be lost. I knew these halls better than most—almost better than even master Cauis.

I knocked on the door at the highest point of the tower. The girl's room. She had been here for over a decade- The most curious creature to be collected by the masters but a necessary and powerful ally to have at our side.

"Is it time?" Her delicate voice said while opening the door.

Her beauty always struck me. Master Aro claimed it was part of her gift—to make those who looked upon her to worship and cherish her. I nodded and she raised her hood to cover her adorable face.

When her eyes met mine again—I was taken aback. I had never realized it. I barely remembered what he looked like until he returned with his family two months ago. But… she looked just like…

"Who was your father?" I asked unthinkingly. It was more than a sin to question our masters. Asking questions at all challenged the belief that we deserved more knowledge than they gave us. I would be punished for asking—whether I learned anything from it or not.

"I don't know." She whispered. Her eyes danced along the darkness of the hall. "I was brought her as a child. I have no memory of a father… or a mother."

Her breath pushed out from her tiny mouth and tantalized my thirst with the hint of human that still remained in her body. Half human. Not quite as desirable as the ones that would be arriving downstairs—but still delicious to taste in the air.

"Should we head down?" The girl asked nervously. She did not wish to share in my punishment. I nodded with a scowl. I was never at ease in her presence. Being a mind shield she was impervious to my ability. The only vampire I knew of who was—half vampire.

"Come with me…" I held the door open and waved her through.

"Renesmee."


	22. Chapter 22: I love the smell of venom in

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

"Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials." Meryl Streep

And then, like in my vivid nightmare last night, the scene abruptly transformed. Everything I saw in the mirror looked completely different, though nothing actually _was_ different. - Bella Cullen (Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn)

**Answer:**

What happened to change everything was that a soft little nudge bumped my hand—from inside my body. (Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn)

**Chapter 22**: Frankly Jacob I don't give a damn or I love the smell of venom in the morning

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (2 months after the Cullens are captured, Forks)**

I crouched, poised on the large boulder and spied the tall one stalking through the forest. I could smell it… the blood.

Their appetite was growing—more so now that they could sense the change. I locked my thirst down as I would not feed with them so close. Human blood was still too tempting for me. And they would always be partially human.

_Jacob_. I felt him stand at attention with my silent command.

_Yes mistress_. I sighed at his words. He hated calling me that too but until the change occurred they were all growing more and more subservient to me. They couldn't fight it—especially in the hunt.

_Find Paul. I think he strayed_. With that the tall figure disappeared. I heard a distinct thud followed by Paul's all too familiar cursing.

_Already dealing with it, mistress_.

_Thank you_.

_Your wish… yatta yatta_… I forced the snicker down my throat, but he still heard it bubbling in my mind. Jacob had a way with making everything seem less dire… breaking the immediacy of the moment. He was the complete opposite of Edward.

Jacob laughed out loud- I could hear the sound rising above the trees. I hissed.

_Focus_. I commanded. Instantly I felt him straighten up.

_As… you… wish_… That time he was deliberately being a pain.

_You're out_. I said and he dropped to his knees against his will.

"Dammit Bella!" I leapt from the rock landing on the balls of my feet fifty feet below at the base of the waterfall. I sprang into a light step without having to adjust myself from the jump. He was kneeling a hundred yards in the distance. I took my time walking over to him. It was ceremony and necessary. I didn't like playing with power—or at least there was a part of me that warned this part of me in control now to not become intoxicated by the gift of power. We would be no better than the enemies we sought to destroy if we allowed ourselves to enjoy this.

But he had to learn. There was a time and a place and now was neither—in the heat of the hunt it would never be a time for jokes.

I stalked past him without a word… Well no spoken word. _Stay_. I thought. He growled but did not move. The ghostly vampire in the moonlight—the obedient tethered creature at her feet.

I scanned out in the distance—caught the scent of blood on Paul's unconscious lips close by.

The others were still out there.

_Sam?_ It was harder to communicate with the others now—growing almost impossible. It was like straining through those soup cans tied with a string instead of using clear digital technology.

_Yes mistress_. This voice was scratchy—I almost felt like taking two steps to the left to see if he would come in clearer. He wouldn't.

_Are they with you_?

_All save two_.

_Damn_. I knew exactly who he spoke of. I launched myself over the river and into the black wall of trees. The moonlight danced across my white flesh making me truly look supernatural. I pushed out further—harder. Nothing.

It was infuriating to say the least. For a short time when we first arrived in Forks they were all like one big conference call in my mind. I sympathized with Edward's constant torment as I no longer had any secrets from them- Nor they from I.

That's when I found her. Leah. I had only expected boys. Erebos had only expected boys. And when the gang arrived in the two shifts I had only believed they were boys. Why she cut her hair and hid in the back behind Embry and Quil I would never understand. It was a relief to say the least to have some female reinforcement next to this pack of male lunatics.

And though she had her doubts about me she could not help but bond with me either. We shared an interest—looking out for Seth. I because he was quickly becoming a young son to me in so many ways and she because he was her baby brother.

I knew as I tasted the scents in the air surrounding the meadow where I found myself that they, the Clearwater siblings, were the two who strayed. I cursed my luck once more. I could not discipline Jacob if not Seth and Leah too.

Examples. Rules. Control.

Was this what it was like to be a mother?

If we were to survive what was coming we would have to live by this.

"Seth stop!" My head snapped to the left at the sound of the shrill female cry. I was following the noise on fast feet before I finished registering it as Leah's voice. Their scents washed over me as I neared.

"Leah!" I hissed. My voice was no more than an airy threat. The others were still on the hunt and we need not hinder their chances.

"Sorry." She breathed as I found her. She was not as afflicted as the boys with my title. She resisted calling me her mistress with every fiber of her being. I had to admit—I admired her for that. But then I believed it a female strength.

_What's up momma Bella?_ Seth asked through his thoughts. I shook my head and put a finger to my lips.

I felt it. The cold breeze was not all that was chilling the air around us now. I sensed the boys. They had spread out to circle the prey… but the prey was on the hunt too.

"Bait?" I mouthed toward Leah's wide eyes.

She nodded—and for the first time I saw that she finally understood why Jacob had convinced me to not bring them on the hunt until now. In many ways they still were unprepared.

I crouched into a fighting stance in front of them and reached out with my heightened senses to locate him. I sighed. I wondered if they would ever be ready.

I heard the hiss in the trees. He sensed me. Good.

No bad. This was about them understanding the hunt about them understanding how to fight.

My presence meant that his reactions would be skewed. Damn. It took a month for him to show up at all. It took a long time for the built up vamp scent to wear from the surroundings of our home. The Cullen essence was still a faint taste on the breeze in these woods even now. It was like bug repellent to other vamps. A warning that the area was marked.

I sighed once more. I would not leave Leah and Seth. I could only hope that the boys would intercept him before he reached us and saw that I was in fact a vampire.

_Release me_. Jacob hissed in my mind. He could sense the pack's danger and now so could I. This one was not alone. Already Jared was sensing another in the woods behind us.

A trap.

_Go Jacob!_ I heard the howl split through the night. As Leah and Seth came to stand next to me in a defensive crouch.

"How many?" She whispered. I wasn't sure. There was something familiar about the scent though—something remembered from a dream of a dream…

"Nomads." I said as the dark one's eyes peered at us from less than a handful of feet in the distance. The Nomads that had delivered Erebos' message.

_Jacob help Sam. There are two more. A man and_…

_A WOMAN!_ His mind screamed. I could feel the impact as her claw like hands made contact with his chest.

"How intriguing…" Laurent said stalking forward. On either side of me the Clearwaters began snarling and practically vibrating with the need to fight him. It was something programmed in their blood. Any vampire born of Lilly's venom was their natural enemy. Or at least made their guards go up.

I was born of Carlisle and Edward, who were born of Erebos. The venom that was mixed with their blood was produced in my body now too.

"Bella? Is it not?" I bristled at the sound of my name so familiar on his tongue. The most I had done was make him fall asleep in my presence. A power I couldn't hope to control at this moment. I was spread too thin as it was.

I felt both Leah and Seth turn slightly to beg the question. "Laurent." I spat. My mind was trying to find a way out of this. Jacob was holding his own with the woman but the other one was toying with the rest of my boys.

"You brought a snack...Are you going to eat both of those… or might I have one?" His voice was dripping with civility and politeness. I was not torn on my stance in human blood drinking—it was natural. I would do it if I desired it. But these were not just humans—they were my pack.

I growled a warning at him. I was actually a little impressed with myself when he took a step back. I had never fought another vampire—I was sort of winging it as Jacob would say.

I smiled as I saw him take another step back. But this time his eyes made me spin around to see what it was he feared.

I actually found myself backing toward him without thought. Seth and Leah were… glowing. Both stood looking down at their bodies with terror in their eyes. They were thrashing as if something deep inside of them was fighting to burst free. I could hear their pulses racing and their bones sounded like they were breaking and reforming. There was blinding light for a second and…

My mistake… had been to turn around.

Laurent's arms seized around my back—pinning my arms to my sides. In the moment of my hesitation, he spread his teeth wide to bite my neck. Vampires didn't die from being torn apart (as long as the pieces were put back together and not burned) but venom stung—and I didn't much like the idea of becoming Ms. Dumpty for the evening.

I slammed my head back into his face. He screamed and fell back—releasing his grip on me. I spun to tear him apart and felt the sharp breeze part my hair around my face as the giant wolves sailed above me.

My eyes bugged out of my skull as I watched. He never stood a chance—but then I realized Laurent was no warrior. He was a Nomad who probably was only used to fighting other vamps for territory. And he seemed to rely on his words of negotiation more than his prowess in attack.

It was a tremendously fascinating display. They were wolves but they were human. Where their human muscles had stopped beneath their flesh—bigger, more formidable muscle had stretched and piled upon their form. This made them appear taller—bigger. Their hands and feet were giant paws with razor blades for claws. Their faces pulled forward into a wolf muzzle—teeth shining sparkling white where they were not dripping with his venom. Their entire bodies were covered in fur—fur that matched their hair mixed with the tone of their skin. Leah's was lighter than Seth's but you could tell they were related.

I felt a natural swell of fear as I watched them. They were vampire slayers. I instinctually knew that they could hurt me. I had never seen another vampire injured in my life. I had seen visions, memories in the minds of my family. But I was sheltered from the reality of the possibility. Now I watched in fright as the creatures I was giving the ability to tore apart one of my own kind.

Once his limbs and head were pulled from the body they fell back to stand behind me. I shoved my fear aside and pulled the match book from my pocket. We three watched as the separated pieces continued to move—and bodiless head yelled as if it had not been torn from the rest of his self.

There was something so disturbing about vampires- That was my human mind speaking. The vampire mind just found it fascinating.

I struck a match and tossed it on to his now venom covered chest. Edward was right—venom was very, very flammable.

The three of us were launched back as if a bomb had exploded. I was shaking my head from the blow as the burning tree came into my view.

"Dammit." I sighed. In so many ways I was glad Edward couldn't see me now. It was humiliating to say the least.

"Go get the kit—Fire extinguisher!" The 'kit' was the emergency pack that Sam insisted we bring. He really didn't trust this scenario. He didn't trust what was happening to their bodies. And he planned for the human necessities that I assured them they would not need. But the one aspect of Bella Swan that would never be bled out of me blazed into the midnight sky—if there was a way to make a situation more dangerous, I would find it. I would remind Sam that after tonight, however, his worries were unnecessary.

I had read it in Erebos' book. Once they sensed their enemies on the hunt—poof.

And if Leah and Seth were any indication—poof should have been happening in at least two more locations in the woods right now. Though it was pitch black in the forest—my eyes saw as if it were midday. I wondered at the smoke rising from Laurent's dead body. It was black—thicker than any smoke I had ever seen before, almost oily in its consistency. I made a note of the texture—I would know what a vampire bonfire looked like from now on.

Seth came back first. I turned my head away quickly when I realized he was… naked. He went out putting out the fire as if there was nothing unusual with his appearance.

"Seth." I said with a sigh. Boys.

He looked down and blushed. "Sorry, there aren't any extra clothes—other than what Leah is putting on. Figured the guys seeing me is better than…" He shrugged.

"The _guys_." I stressed the sex. He just smiled.

"Does my being fully naked bother you?" He teased. I just rolled my eyes. What was it with the male preoccupation of nudity and fart jokes I would never understand.

"Aw come on…" An all too familiar voice joked from behind me. "A good fart joke would make even _you_ laugh." I didn't bother to turn to see him. I knew he would be naked too. And unlike innocent Seth—Jacob was standing behind me in a dare. He wanted to push my buttons.

"The other two?"

"Got away." His voice was angry. Disappointment swept through his thoughts and poured in to me.

"Anyone injured?" I wouldn't dwell. In the long run it was good. We got a taste tonight—pushed the wolves to the surface. And we had the promise of another fight. More training.

"Just me." He said flippantly. I spun with a gasp at his words. I remembered the force of the woman's strike—I had forgotten that Jacob would probably be hurt from it.

I could smell blood when I turned but I quickly noticed that it was the scent of dried blood—old blood. There was no taste of fresh blood coming from his body.

"Yah," he said reading my mind. "I guess we heal really fast too." I nodded with wide eyes as I inspected his broad naked chest.

My eyes dipped lower—by accident and the smirk in his face when I caught myself told me I was no longer looking at a blindly obedient servant.

"Grow up Jacob." I said turning back to the fire. He chuckled and came to stand next to me.

"Ah... I love the smell of venom in the morning." I sighed again. His obsession with movie quotes was going to truly drive me insane.

"Where are the others?"

"Heading back to the homestead. Regrouping and all that jazz." He yawned. "_You_ may not need to, but we mere mortals have to get sleep every now and then."

I nodded. Leah and Seth were already heading back to the house. I could hear them… my children. They were enjoying their new forms. Testing the wolf bodies in their pursuit of their home.

"Listen to them…" I said softly—lost almost in a trance. "The children of the night. What music they make." The howls were truly magical. Like a symphony. Like Edward's music that flowed in everything around him.

"Okay Dracula." Jacob said put his long fingers around my upper arm and tugging me back toward the house. "Let's go."

**\/Darkside\/**

I watched over them as they slept. Though admittedly there was always one or two who would keep guard with me throughout the night. As if they instinctually knew to rise and stand by me to watch over their brothers—and sister.

The house was perfect for a base. Esme spared no expense to outfit it with the most advance technology in security. There were steel walls that lowered over every outer inch of the homes perimeter. And there were cameras along every inch too. An enemy would at least have to make an effort to get in. And efforts usually made noise.

After making my sweep of the woods, I closed the garage and headed up to my room. I heard the distinct chuckle from Alice and Jasper's room. I shoved the door aside to see what he was up to.

"Oh God Jacob!" I was thoroughly disgusted when I saw him reaching through a raised floorboard and lifting magazines with wide lust-filled eyes. Though I would admit—I didn't know if it was the fact that Jacob was enjoying the porn or the fact that Jasper collected it that made me more revolted.

"Ease up prude!" He scolded. I definitely missed the obedience. I could see why most people took their dogs to schools.

He glared at me. "Well… you have no power over me." His big toothy smile reminded me of a basset hound my mother once owned.

"You had a mother?" He asked. "I thought you were hatched or something?"

"What's up with the magazines? Walking through my memories of sex with Edward wasn't enough for you anymore?"

"I apologized for that."

"_Jacob_."

"It's not porn—filthy minded woman."

I scowled at his words. What could it possibly be?

"Originals… mint… crisp… first edition… Marvel Comics." His eyes cast reverently over the scraps of paper and then rose to mine as if to see if I was as impressed as he.

"Comic books?"

"Not just any comic books Bells… THE comic books… the freaking HOLY GRAIL of comic books."

My mind was blank with even a thought of an answer.

"He has Amazing Adventure #3, Bells. The very first Marvel Comic printed- he has EVERY Marvel comic ever printed…. The guy is… he's just… so freaking cool." I watched Jacob with different eyes.

"How old are Jacob?"

His eyes grew sad for a moment—lost childhood. I could sympathize with that. "Sixteen…" Then a thought popped into his head and his eyes showed that he wished to know but would give me the respect to answer it out loud.

"Seventeen." I said. It was odd. From the moment I awoke to the sound of Edward's voice—I had felt immortal. No use for age. It was a number catalogued but creatures that only had a hand full of them to hold on to. I had an eternity. I had forgotten how short my time on earth was before I changed.

Jacob patted the bed behind him. I looked over my shoulder to the hall. Everything still felt secure. I could sense Seth walking the inside perimeter. With a sigh and joined him.

"Seriously Bells… The X-Men? You've never heard of _Wolverine_?" He handed back a comic that looked brand new. I guessed from the plastic casing that it was sealed in that it would not age—as its owner had not for over two thousand years.

"Yah I remember that one… But Gambit was my favorite." I felt strange when I said it—the human memories rising to the surface again. I always felt like I was split in two when the human's memories were in my head.

"You are seriously one confused lady." Jacob looked back at me and I smiled. "Okay, if Jasper is two thousand… how old are you really."

I looked at him perplexed. Hadn't I just told him my age? "Seventeen."

"Wait… you mean… you're… you've only…How long have you been seventeen?"

I nodded. "Eight months. Why?"

"It's just… I don't know…" Jacob's eyes clouded with some sudden realization. I tried to probe his mind but he changed his thoughts to block me out.

"What's your favorite movie… and don't say you don't have one. Everybody has one."

I sighed and let the human take over. I was sure she could remember movies. I had very little use for them since I became a vampire. "I liked the Sixth Sense." Though more recently than not what I liked was having one.

"Typical." He snorted.

"What's yours?"

He got an almost evil sneer on his lips. "The Silence of the Lambs…"

For some reason the human wanted to play… "A census taker once tried to test me…" Jacob looked back at me with his sneer widening in to a grin. "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." I made a slurping sound and he threw his head back and boomed a laugh that made me laugh in return.

"You've been holding out on me." He winked.

"Well… That's because I'm your mother. Mother's are suppose to be boring right?" I smirked. Without missing a beat and without removing his eyes from his comic he retorted.

"A boy's best friend is his mother."

"Psycho? Really Jacob?" He snickered.

"Come on Bells… you're hardly our mom… and you are totally psycho sometimes…" He looked back at me and when his eyes met mine there was a hesitation that made my stomach clench.

He knew.

"How?" I sat up slowly—prepared to fight even him for survival.

"Easy Bella." He dropped the magazine and raised his hands in a show of trust. "First of all… I can hear your thoughts. And…" He narrowed his eyes and sniffed the air between us. "I could smell it on you the moment I met you."

A low warning growl rumbled in my chest. I wouldn't be afraid to hurt him if he wasn't careful.

"What could you smell?"

"The hormones… we can smell it… animals sense it. Don't tell me you didn't know that's why Seth has always called you 'momma'." I froze—my mind froze.

"What are you talking about Jacob?" I found myself not on the bed where I had been—joking and laughing with Jacob. But standing in a defensive crouch while he cowered against the door.

"Damn. You weren't kidding about the multiple personality thing were you?"

I shook my head—trying to remember. "What did you say Jacob?"

"Huh-uh, I'm not going there again. You are truly terrifying when you want to be Bella."

"Dammit Jacob what did you say?"

He cocked his head to the side and studied me for a moment. "You really don't know do you?" He asked in a shocked voice. "Just the other one—the scary one knows. W-O-W… and she is making me tell you… that is low."

I frowned at him. "What Jacob?"

He walked over to me—taking my hands in his massive ones. He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. There was a trust and understanding that I found when looking in Jacob's eyes that reminded me of Edward. My silent heart flipped at the thought of ever getting see Edward again.

Jacob took one of his hands and lowered it to my stomach. "Bella." I nodded when his eyes grew worried. I could take it. "You're pregnant."

All at once my fist connected with his jaw and he was flying through the door.

**\/Darkside\/**

There was something oddly satisfying about being able to wallop Jacob Black through a door—like I had tried to punch him before… but the first time did not have the same results.

"Well…" he said through a clenched jaw once the entire pack assembled after our little tirade. "You're lucky I heal fast."

I glared at him. He deserved what he got. "Frankly Jacob," his eyes grew all sparkly as they looked up at me—begging me to finish. "I don't give a damn."

He hooted and clapped as if I were Rhett Butler.

"I don't get it." Seth mumbled to Leah. She just rolled her eyes.

"Enough." Sam said holding up his hands. He was the self appointed mediator of the meeting. "Please, Bella… we no longer have our connection with you. But we all feel that we deserve to know what we are heading into. What do you know?"

I didn't like this part. Erebos had shown me how to pull the sides of my mind together—but we were independent spirits. It was hard to keep us together for long.

"Just start from the beginning Bells." Jacob looked up at me with that support and understanding again. He may not know the whole story yet, but the minute I thought it… He would know everything too. "Once upon a time…" he prompted.

I sighed. "Alright… it is time I suppose."

I sat on the floor and closed my eyes. When I opened them… we were all standing in the baseball field—two months ago.

"_Wow," Embry said in true awe. "It's like some Twilight Zone field trip."_

"_Why is everything all sepia tone?" Quil whined. "I don't store all my memories in shades of reddish gold."_

"_Shut up morons—she's trying to tell us the story." Leah shouted._

"_Bella, are they playing baseball?" Seth's voice was enthused. "Can we play?"_

"_Enough!" I shouted. "I will turn this little escapade around right now…" They were all silent at that._

"_What we are all in now—is my gift. We have walked into one of the levels of the dream I have constructed." Eight pairs of confused eyes focused on me._

"_There is no easy way to explain it… But I can control the mental reality of others. And I have been doing so since before I awoke as a vampire… Well, since the venom changed me."_

"_Watch." I pointed my finger to the field. It looked as it had to my family the first time we stood in the field—as it would continue to look in this stored memory until it was no longer needed. _

_I heard Jacob skulk up behind me. "Bella… who's on first?" Now, he had a quote for now!_

"_Edward." I sighed. _

"_You're mate." It was not a question._

"_Yes." My heart was suddenly a led weight as I watched him. I missed him. I worried for him. This was one of the last moments of happiness I had seen him in—albeit it was fabricated happiness. But still._

_The game unfolded as it had before—my mind slipping away from my control and my family falling to the ground with the ease of my gift. I heard the boys all clear their throats as they watched Edward and I… explore._

_The Nomads appeared in the distance and all of the pack howled in unison._

"_They were here before—I told you of this last night. Pay attention." I warned. I drew their focus to the trees behind the field—a spot where Alice, Carlisle, Edward and I stood._

_Jacob was like cartoon character with his head on a swivel. "How?" His eyes jumped from the four of us on the field to the four of us behind the trees._

"_Reality is a science with me… watch please."_

"_Do you really think it will work Bella?" Carlisle asked coming to rest against a tree. He stood not two feet from Paul—Paul leaned in to touch him. I snapped my finger._

"_It has to Carlisle. It seems solid right now. Edward can hear others coming—we can test it on them. If it works on them… and the rest of the family. It's the only hope we have."_

_Alice nodded. "It's true. I see them coming. He's bringing everyone. It's the only chance we might have to figure this out. If what Edward said is true—Erebos has something to tell him, and that will give us an advantage. Let Bella break away—tease out the Volturi."_

_Edward nodded now too. My heart flipped as he stepped beside the other me and put his arm around her waist—drawing her close. "I don't know what he wants but I know he is not in league with them. I think he is on our side in this. I think this was his clue—Nomads. One of us must wander alone. Will that give you time to perfect it though?"_

_The former me raised her hand to his temple. "Already done." She said with a knowing glance toward me. It was true—all the while that I was pulling Edward out of his self hatred- I was cultivating a gift he did not realize he had. A gift tied to what he called his darkside—a side that I was hoping his mind was tempting out right now. I had hid the gift in his mind, under a command from my mind. One that me planted forever in his mind would awaken when needed. I could sense it—the end had begun. _

"_What will be different for us Bella? How will the four of us be altered?" Carlisle asked turning back to me. Part of the lie was that we ourselves had to believe it. _

"_Give me your hands and I will do for you what I did for Edward… when you wake up on the field—there will be a sleeping truth inside you. That is the best I can do."_

_Edward's gift and his need to hide his memories of me would slumber until it was time to earn Aro's trust. Alice's vision of the wolves and the war—including her knowledge of Erebos' future—would fall black until after the enemy were in our trap. Carlisle's rage would be held in check—until the moment came for him unleash the force that had freed him from the Volturi all those years ago._

_And I… the former me drew her mate to a private spot away from the now sleeping Alice and Carlisle. _

"_Are you sure about this Edward?" His face softened and his hands cupped my face. If I could cry—I would have wept at the sweetness of the lost moment. I had not remembered it until now._

"_My love… it is the only way." His voice made my body melt—I clutched my stomach with shaking hands._

"_The baby?" I said looking up at him. I knew that I could not hide the child from the gifted part of my mind—but she was impenetrable. She would keep our child safe. _

"_Will be fine. When it is time… you will remember it. You will know what to do." And I did. Erebos had told me—granted me my legacy. The first all vampire child birthed from a mother. _

_I felt a cold stare on my back as I thought it. I did not turn—I knew who was watching._

_The pack began to growl as they sensed her too. I quieted them—one more piece to discover. _

_We turned to see the family and the visitors fall under my spell._

_I heard Jacob lean to Seth and whisper—"Did they take the blue pill or the red pill?"_

_I rolled my eyes. Though I was a little smug at the scene. When they awoke there were two truths layered in all of their minds. Hidden agendas that would aid in our victory over the Volturi. I watched as my family followed me down the rabbit hole._

_Realities certainly were a gift with me._

**\/Darkside\/**

We all awoke in the living room. Paul and Jared were shaking like dogs that just got out of a bath.

"That was… that was…" Seth kept trying to define it.

"Weird." Leah breathed in amazement.

"Bella! Hey BELLA!…" Jacob was snapping his fingers in front of my face. I was still reeling from the lowering of my own shield. There was so much that I had hidden from myself to survive. I was practically shaking from the need to go to him and help him.

"Snap out of it!" Jacob yelled.

"Street car and Moonstruck." Quil said sitting down on the couch with a bag of Doritos. He didn't seem fazed at all. He shrugged his shoulders and flipped on the tv. "I can phase in to a werewolf… was that suppose to freak me out?"

"Werewolf?" Embry said… still a little shocked I guessed from the suddenness of the change.

"There…" Jacob said pointing to Sam. "There wolf." He roared with laughter and joined Quil on the couch.

"Boys." Leah said going up stairs to wash up.

They all went back to their usual endeavors—daytime was boring. We only hunted at night.

There was almost a moment of peace that settled over me as I sat at Edward's piano. My fingers danced over the keys without applying force. It seemed sacrilegious for anyone but Edward to produce music from the instrument.

Suddenly I was on my feet and crouching in defense.

Vampire. I could sense the venom coming a mile away.

The boys all looked at me like I was insane. There was nothing unusual in the scent that they registered. Until they caught the scent of the second vampire.

By then I was well aware of who was coming.

Erebos melted through the shadow of the kitchen—the broken form in his arms I recognized as Alice.

"What the hell happened?" I was suddenly terrified that this was a result of my illusion—that Alice had fallen insane because I tampered with her reality.

"No… no Bella it is nothing like that." He assured me. He laid her on the couch as the boys jumped back to make space.

"She actually saw it coming too soon. Just let her rest. I was hard pressed to get her out before they realized it. Aro has some witch… controls the sun or some nonsense. Something I had never seen—something I had never granted."

I froze at his words. Aro had a gifted vampire whose gift was not granted by Erebos? "I know Bella. I know. It is up to Edward to discover what that means—but until then Alice has to recover from the illusion of her torture."

My hands that were smoothing over Alice's brow stilled. Torture. My breath stopped. "Were they all tortured?" My voice was only a whisper.

Erebos bowed his head. I could see that the truth was taking a toll on him as well. "Yes, Bella… Esme…" His voice choked. Alice stirred.

"Alice?" I whispered. Her eyes opened briefly and then closed.

"What did you mean—coming too soon?"

"She wasn't supposed to remember the wolves and me and until after the Volturi took them. She was going to be what drew Edward back out and helped Carlisle awaken… but… she saw it." The sheer worship in Erebos' voice was hard to miss. "She is truly amazing. Alice's gift… I believe it exists above anything you can alter Bella. It took time, but she worked through the darkness… and she saw it."

I hung my head. What would this cost us… "Carlisle?"

"I don't know. If Alice's vision was meant to ignite the monster—Perhaps he is biding his time too. I have only seen Edward—and he, like you, had the two worlds coexisting. I believe he was on the brink of releasing his memories—he had a favor to fulfill for me first."

I shook my head. I had no idea what he was talking about. "After he split from you." The darkest hour of my life. "I needed him to turn his mother." I nodded in agreement. Elizabeth's body being fueled by our shared venom would only help her detach from the Volturi when it was time.

Erebos and I sat for several minutes longer in silent contemplation. I had all but forgotten the boys standing in a huddle in the entry.

"I don't understand any of this." Seth hissed. Jacob shushed him.

"So we go back to Chicago." I hypothesized. Erebos agreed.

"Tonight."

"Chicago?" Jacob asked raising his brows and folding his arms over his chest.

I nodded and turned back to face my less than prepared, but very formidable pack. "Yes."

"I thought they were in Volterra?"

I laughed sharply and laid my hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Elementary my dear Jacob." He smirked. "You keep your friends close…" I looked each of the boys in the eye and Leah as she joined us from upstairs.

"And your enemies closer." Jacob finished.

Yes. Tonight. Chicago.

War.


	23. Chapter 23: An Alice State of Mind

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you already lived it? If there were an infinite number of possible outcomes to your journey but you knew them all… which path would you take?

**Answer:**

Chapter 23: I've been waiting for you or An Alice State of Mind

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV**

**(Texas 1863)**

_Dear Diary,_

_I refuse to ever give up the hope of finding him. I have followed his voice, his scent and his actions throughout my life. But I am beginning to believe he is not real._

_I asked around today—but I found nothing. There were three young beautiful women hiding in the darkness of an alley—I knew that had something to do with him. But when I found the place where should be, they too were not there._

_I find it strange. More than frustrating. It is as if something is altering what I know is real before I can get there. My own birth—I feel as though it happened all wrong. It is as if I was born too soon. _

_I still see the other one in my dreams too. The dark one. He isn't as scary as he was before. In fact—he seems repentant now. I see a reluctance in him to continue to be evil._

_And then I see her. Elizabeth. Some soon to fall angel. I tell him in my dreams to go to her. That he needs to be with her. But I'm not sure that is the right thing to do. His eyes are black. His skin is pale. _

_But then so is the one I am looking for. His eyes are red—and they are filled with rage. But that's what draws me to him. I know that only I can calm that anger. Only I can draw out the need to kill… a need that has existed in him much longer than this new life._

_I can see that too—see the moment he realizes it. The moment he knows that he killed his own parents—that he left his sister for dead. I see that she saved him from an execution but trying to kill him herself. And this salvation that his lives in now is nothing but a lie._

_But I can give him something true. _

_If I could only find him…_

Coroner's office May 1st 1864—pronounced dead this morning of a blood letting after animal attack. Sex- female. Age- unknown. Name- unknown. Hair- black. Height—4' 10". She was found clutching a small diary, article was retrieved by one Jasper Wilcox, who claimed to know her family. Body was laid to rest at family's wishes in home state of Mississippi.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(Present day, Forks)**

There were too many voices—and only one of them I recognized. Bella. I fought to open my eyes but the searing pain in my temple forced them closed again. It was only an illusion Alice. She didn't really burn you.

Tell that to the bits of my brain that felt like they were smoking. Impossible. How did I not see that one coming? What the hell was Aro doing in Volterra? What were these new vampires and their strange abilities?

I felt Bella's hand smoothing over my forehead. It was like tiny shocks of electricity that were reviving my skin. Thank you sister. I need this connection right now.

I yearned for the flesh to belong to Jasper—but I had survived for many years with that desire burning and unfulfilled before. I would survive his absence once more.

"Alice?" Bella asked. I was trapped inside my mind—running through the short bursts of images that I received before I left. Everything was changing—that was starting to damage my calm. It was all my fault.

If I had not built up such a will to know everything… my family would still be safe right now.

"So we go back to Chicago."

"Tonight."

I squeezed my eyes tighter and prayed for the images to change. Knowing the future did not always mean I could change it.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(1901 Chicago****)**

_Dear Diary,_

_I was born again. This has happened too many times for my mind to accept. I cannot remember which Alice I am. I have to find him._

_I know he found me last time—just one year too late. The woman got to me—too soon. She does not want him to find me. If he finds me, her purpose for him will change._

_I can feel it. The dark one took my advice. He followed his heart—the heart he does not believes he has in his possession._

_I can see it—my brother is born. One day I will find him. His pull is almost as strong and my love's._

_Yes—that is what she wants to change. She can't tolerate that promise. She will deny me what I desire. One more time I feel the cold hand of death upon me._

_To my love—I know now that you will find this. Find me. Do not give up hope. I will always return for you._

Coroner's report August 2nd 1901. Found dead of a beheading. Sex- female. Age- unknown. Name- unknown. Hair- black. Height—4' 10". She was found clutching a small diary, article was retrieved by one Jasper Wilcox, who claimed to know her family. Body was laid to rest at family's wishes in the family crypt in their home state of Mississippi.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(present day)**

"What do you think her story is?" The youngest one's voice asked. The female lowered herself closer to me. I held perfectly still. Out of the three vampires in the house, I was the only one born of the mother's venom. I would not purposely aggravate their natural desire to hurt me.

"I don't know Seth. Leave her alone. Bella is treating her like she is important—like she is family. And what is family to her, is family to us." I liked this one. I thought loyalty like that was only a Cullen trait. I supposed it was only fitting that Bella would build a pack of wolves that were so much like her vampire family too.

"Not in death but just in sleep the fateful prophecy you'll keep, and from this slumber you shall wake when true love's kiss the spell shall break."

I heard the one that Bella kept yelling at—Jacob. He groaned as the young one finished his poem. I thought his words adorable.

"Sleeping Beauty?" Ah, how sweet that he related me to such a precious story. If only my true love could awaken me.

"What? It's a movie!"

"A Disney movie, Seth…. And a girlie one at that. How the hell do you even know that quote?"

I did not particularly like this Jacob taunting the young prince this way. I thought it romantic and sweet that the boy knew such innocence still in his life. It had been a long time since I met a truly innocent soul.

"You knew too idiot." The girl said. Like I said before—I liked her.

"Alright, everyone take your potty breaks in shifts—we will be taking two cars. Sam will take Jared, Paul, Quil, and Embry. And I will take Jacob, Seth, Leah and Alice. Erebos, you're fine with not driving I presume?" I resisted the urge to snicker. Bella was quite the mother here wasn't she?

An image flashed in my mind. _Bella's stomach swollen with child. Edward standing over her with his teeth bared against an unseen foe. A young girl—beautiful as Edward but with Bella's human eyes, leaning over the mother to comfort her._

I gasped and sat up as if the vision had slapped me awake.

"Alice?" Bella's quiet voice prodded.

I scanned the room and found ten pairs of terrified eyes staring back at me—well eight. Bella and Erebos were worried for another reason that just my being awake. The pack was on edge to see the crazy vampire was finally out of her stupor.

I turned to the small one sitting by my arm. This one had to be Seth. There was a youth that was more than just a symbol of his age that clung to his features. I wished this boy had staid home the day Bella returned to Forks.

"Hi." He said with the warmest smile I had seen in years. It made me smile.

"Hello." My high voice seemed to no longer blend in with the voices on my family's home. Bella and I were the only ones left with the tingling notes of our kind.

"How are you?" Bella was lowering herself next to Seth. My silent heart swelled to see my sister once more. Now more than ever I was appreciative of the many lives I had survived with a single consciousness. I could release the pain of Bella leaving me earlier, since I now understood, or remembered the truth that was hidden from me.

I placed my hand on her cheek to not only reassure her, but to feel that connection once more. What hell Edward must still be trapped in now.

Bella's eyes closed briefly as she too felt the surge. "Thank you Alice." She whispered too low for a human but I doubted any of the others around us now suffered from human senses anymore.

She winked and stood up. "You ready for a road trip?" She asked. I smiled and stood too.

I turned to inspect the rest of the boys and even the girl. They were all so young.

"I must warn all of you. These are sleeping villains. That have power that terrifies even Bella—and I am sure you have tasted what she is capable of. I can't see what is coming. It is changing too slowly. The ones in charge… they know that my gift relies on a choice being made. They are waiting until the last second to choose. So you must follow what we say. Please." I turned to the one I guessed was Jacob.

He had a sternness about him—a destiny that he seemed to not only accept but feel proud and responsible for. Maybe he would win me over yet. "You understand what I am telling you?" I said straight to him.

As understanding dawned in his eyes, he straightened and uncrossed his arms from his proud chest. His eyes grew darker and he first glanced to his pack leader and then back to me. He nodded once and I knew I could trust him with this responsibility.

It was no easy thing to be a leader. I knew all to well what the strongest who led others felt. You were no longer concerned with yourself but your thoughts were always of the ones in your trust. And your every move was dictated to ensure their survival.

And it was no small thing for one who was good at that position to walk away.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(1920 Biloxi asylum)**

Darkness. I'm not even allowed my dairy. They says it angers them to see my words. But what can I do. I can see it. See what has come before—see what is coming still.

He will find me. Today—maybe tomorrow. But he will find me. I can see it. She no longer holds his will.

Too much death. Too much pain.

He wants peace. He knows I hold that for him.

Darkness. Though I fear the light. I have seen what the light can do to me too… years from now, but there it is. Torture.

Who told them about me? Who led them to my dairy?

She is dead, isn't she? Wasn't I?

So, killing me didn't work. Now she plans to just force me in to true insanity. I won't forget. I promised him. I will never forget him.

There is a whisper in the darkness. I see an image of me ducking—so I do. I hit the ground in the darkness and kiss the floor with my lips and nose.

The door flies over my body. I stay on the floor—I wasn't told to get up.

A hand touches my hair. It's cold—or is it warm? Cold to anyone else. Burning hot to me. He's here.

"Alice?" Yes. That was his voice. I begin to weep at the sound. Five hundred years I have searched for him. I have died too many times just before he found me.

"Jasper." I breathe. I am floating in his arms and safe.

I knew he killed the guards. Knew he killed all of the humans who tried to stop him from finding me. I forgive him. It is only what he knows. I would change him.

It is dark when he finally stops running. I don't know where we are—nor do I care to know.

He lays me down and leaps away from me. "I'm sorry." His beautiful voice apologizes. "I… you smell too good. I don't think I can do this and not kill you." He speaks to me like I want him to. He knows me. I know him. He knows that I know what he is talking about. Of course we know all of these secrets together.

"I believe in you." I whisper.

His red eyes are inches from my face. His face is severe in restraint. The kind of restraint that only a general might have. The strength to hold one's self in submission to desire for the good of the mission.

I figure I will help him along. His eyes look so torn. I lean in and kiss him. Purposefully biting his bottom lip as I do.

He tastes very good. Honest. Pure. He will never believe me when I tell him this. But he does. He is good, pure- honest. I will have forever to prove it to him. The darkness will leave him now. Let him poison me with it—I can wash it clean for him.

"Jasper." I beg him. I need him. I need this to be finished. I feel even now that she will find a way to pull us apart.

I look deep into his still troubled eyes. The kiss changed him already. He had never been touched this way before. He craves it now almost more than the blood. I can feel that coming from him—a wave of desire.

I use that knowledge to help him. I push back with my love for him. "I love you." I say, placing my hands on his face. The whole world is love then. More intense than any emotion any human could feel. Jasper's love and my love mix together to make every touch and thought happy and fill with that connection.

He can fight the thirst with this emotion controlling him. I lean my neck back and he bites me.

The fire is hardly a pain. I had died—many, many times to be here with him. This is just a symbol of my victory.

But just as I come back to my new body—and before my eyes can open to see the love still shining in his, I see her. His mother wraps her hands around my throat and squeezes the life from me.

Only a vision—but a prophecy. She will not allow me to change him.

_We'll see old woman. I have more strength than you can even imagine_.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(Present day)**

An hour after we left Forks I was beginning to realize that I would need to adopt the Clearwater siblings. I really did love them.

I sat in back—since I was tiny and Jacob was huge. And neither Leah nor Seth had a problem with being so close to a mother born vampire. It is fascinating, as Carlisle would say. Their bodies were so much warmer than any other creature. My own frozen body felt practically warmed from within as I sat nestled between the brother and sister.

"I hate having to slow down." Bella whined. I smiled. My little sister had only been a vampire for four months but she was very much a Cullen from birth.

"I wish we could just run." She mumbled.

"Why can't we?" Jacob asked in all seriousness. He was glaring at the GPS system in the dash as if it was an insult. In truth it sort of was. None of us really ever needed directions.

"Because we have to get there fast. And unfortunately this is faster than going on foot right now. Besides we can't travel in the day like that—it would mean being seen and that is a no-no."

"But only a no-no to these big baddies you are holding down in Chicago right? So wouldn't that make it a yes-yes?"

"No."

"No."

"Cool. You too really are sisters." Seth's face was beaming at me as I tried to think of how to explain this to Jacob.

"Look, the Volturi have spent thousands of years shaping humanity's vision of what we are. All of us…" I said waving my hand at both vampires and werewolves alike. "We are creatures of the night starring in some horror movie now. And to just appear and expect people to understand… that doesn't fly well."

"Please explain it to me." Seth begged.

I raised my eyebrows as I waited for more questions.

"What are we going to find in Chicago?"

"The Volturi. It is the largest vampire coven ever assembled. It was started by the Three—or the first three children of Lilly and the Erebos. The Mother and Father of our race. Over the years they built their clan and dubbed it the Volturi and set up shop in their town of Volterra, Italy. But more specifically what we will find in Chicago is two hundred some odd vampires sleeping."

Seth laughed while his sister scoffed.

"No really. That's Bella's gift. She can make vampires fall asleep and she can create false realities within any mind she desires."

"You ever do that to us?" Jacob asked—slightly impressed I might add.

"No." Bella sighed.

"You sure?"

"Well… I took you all into my mind, but no, I have never created a forced environment on any of you. It wouldn't be feasible right now. I have to devote too much energy on the minds in Chicago."

"Why Chicago?" Seth asked.

"That is where I saw them coming. Actually it was more of an intended trap. Erebos set up a desire for Aro to bring his coven to Chicago—to capture the Cullens and finally obtain a very important person that he had been searching for, for some time. And so we decided to bend that to our strengths."

"Back up." Jacob said. "Who was the important person?"

"Edward's mother." Bella said without missing a beat.

"Yes. Aro believed Elizabeth Masen had died the day Edward was turned. In a way she did. But she was more in a coma for the last eighty years."

"Yeesh. What did they want with an old lady like that?" Seth frowned.

I giggled. "She was in a venom induced coma. So she didn't age. But she couldn't wake up either. Aro wants her because she is the mother of the only vampire sired child birthed from a mother." I looked at Bella's back when I said it. Her hands tightened on the stirring wheel. Soon Edward would not hold that title.

"And… she is the mate of Erebos."

"Really?" Leah asked with wide eyes. "I didn't think that guy… you know…"

I smiled at that too. "Yes, he is… dark. But even the most evil of creatures have hearts. Anyway, Erebos kept Elizabeth in hiding at the Masen family home for the past eight decades. It was actually a perfect way to trap them. Though he couldn't fully warn us, because of… well other secrets that he has held close for so many years."

Bella turned her head at that but went back to watching the road without comment.

"The plan worked flawlessly until I broke through the illusion too soon. I saw them coming though I wasn't suppose to. And now we're not sure what we will find when we get there."

"Everyone is still asleep… That's all I can offer." Bella said with a sarcastic edge to her voice.

"You can also add that you have the services of the world's most kick ass wolf pack on your side." Jacob said turning to slap a high-five with Seth. Leah rolled her eyes and I tried to smile.

"You are quite sure of yourself aren't you Jacob?" I offered. Bella snorted.

Jacob nodded without turning back to look at me. "That's because my grandfather is Ephraim Black."

I gasped—that made him turn around. "You mean you… you're THAT tribe. The Quileutes?"

They all nodded—Bella included. Though none of them seemed to really understand. It was frustrating enough to know the future, but to have lived so many lives in the past sometimes made my life even more complicated.

"You have no idea what power you possess do you?"

Bella scowled as she turned to look at me. If anyone but supernaturally enhanced beings were in the car, someone might have had a problem with her eyes no longer being on the road.

"What do you mean Alice?"

I sighed. "Did you find the book? The one that Carlisle keeps?" She nodded. "Did you find the one that I keep?"

She shook her head.

"Yes." Jacob said. He gazed out of his window as if I had just asked if he ate lunch and not if he had found my dairies that described everything I knew about the venom and the mother.

"When?" Bella hissed. I could tell she was not enjoying his independence from her control. I wondered what the relationship of Alpha and Leader would be like. That Bella had been a surrogate Alpha until the pack could fully change must have been an intoxicating power. Now only Jacob held that gift. Bella was connected to him- she could no longer control any of them. Fascinating.

"It was with the comic books."

My turn to hiss. Jasper would very unhappy if he knew anyone touched his comics. He would be damn near livid if he knew it was a wolf that disturbed them.

"Please promise me that you left the comics as they were."

"Nope. Sold them on Ebay."

Bella reached over and slapped Jacob on the back of the head. "Shut up Jacob. They are fine Alice. He revered them almost more than Jasper would have. Now out with it Black—where's the book?"

"Here." He handed the book back to me. My heart sank a little at the sight. It was a symbol of a time in my life when I was unable to beat the odds. It wasn't until I stop recording my visions that they finally started to aid me and not kill me.

"So Jacob… you know."

He nodded. "It's a lot of what my grandfather used to tell me as a kid. That there was something more that just a hatred of vamps that fueled us. That we had respect where we came from—respect Erebos for entrusting us with this power. And that there is always a price."

Bella tried to reason out what it all meant. "Someone please speak in plain English for once!" I was surprised to find Leah commanding an explanation. Her fists were balled and she looked ready to pull her hair out.

"Alright." I said turning to her. "Basically it is not easy to understand but there are two versions of vampire history. The one that everyone knows and the truth."

Jacob snickered. "History only ever reflects good on the ones in power." He offered.

I smiled. "Exactly. Though we would all agree that Erebos has… _had_ the most power." Bella shook her head and ignored my statement. She wasn't ready to admit that this gift of hers was awesome in its possibilities. "But Erebos never had a need for history. Nor future. He is a creature of moment. A being that exists to understand but not to live. Or at least he was… When Erebos was changed by the venom he was allowed to select a Beta. He chose his opposite. But… he chose someone who was not as willing to this cause as he was."

I wondered what of this story made sense and what they were just storing away for questions later. I pressed on, hoping to not put them to sleep with the history lesson.

"Illilyana, or Lilly, became the Mother. But her venom was mutated in her body. Changed from his. She was with child. She was considered an eternal mother since the child would never be born—never even form fully into a child. The blood of that child changed the venom within her. When venom poisons a human's blood it merely changes the heart and tissue to produce and create this liquid. Her body actually holds two venoms. Though it is the child's mutated strand that was used to create her children. The hundreds of vampires that she created before she died."

"You getting this Lee?" Seth asked. She just rolled her eyes and nodded.

I continued. "They were charged with a need to create a new race, so Erebos had no use for children, but Lilly believed she would not harm a human if she bit them. And she didn't. Together they created children with souls and a thirst for human blood. Erebos had powers… abilities that stemmed from a part of the mind or body that was being changed. Much like the mutated child's blood, our minds could take on new gifts that the venom could enhance. I can see the future. Edward can read minds. Bella… well we'll get to Bella later."

Bella laughed sharp and fast.

"That is all the story everyone knows Alice. Where does your book and the wolves come in?"

"Patience sister." I smiled and she rolled her eyes. "Everyone believed Lilly a saint and Erebos a demon. But Lilly hid in seclusion once the Volturi began their reign. Erebos believed her sickened by the desolation of our kind, but… in truth she was becoming… ill."

Bella stopped the car. A foolish thing to do when we were in dire need to get to Chicago.

"They are all still asleep. Alice tell me. What do you mean? What was happening to her?"

I took a deep breath. I motioned for us to exit the car. We stood on the abandoned street cast in the glow of a full silvery moon. Erebos melted from the shadows and knew exactly what we were talking about. The other car pulled up and the boys leapt out. Jacob, I hoped, filled them in through their pack bond on what we were discussing.

"Erebos tell her. It's time that she knew."

He nodded. "My venom and Lilly's venom cannot exist in the same the body. They act as a poison. It's a slow process but it happens. Lilly became… I don't know how to describe it. I didn't know of it until after I believed her dead. But she became a monster because of it. The vampires that she created for the Volturi while she was on the hill… they were drawn from the worst of humanity. Rapist. And murderers. Evil men."

I closed my eyes. One of the worst… was her most prized son.

"I don't understand." Bella said looking between us. "What difference would that make? Wouldn't the Volturi's rules…"

"The rules are to keep the rest of us in line, Bella. The two hundred vampires that live in Volterra—they are ruthless, evil creatures. And she purposely gave them immortality and unlimited strength. And she purposely led Erebos to not suspect what was happening and he called powers to them that enhanced their evil."

Erebos' dark eyes were no longer fully black. Odd—I wondered at the change. But I could see that they grew weaker as he felt the weight of this failure.

"Not failure." I assured him. "Just a mistake."

He shook his head. "No. Lilly started the war. She created a legion of vampires that enraged me. She gave us a name—vampires. We are merely humans with evolved senses and blood. We are not ridiculous legends. But… when _I_… created the wolves. I was naïve enough to believe I was creating some army of my own."

Bella seemed more and more lost as we continued. "You deal with realities on so many levels Bella, how can you not understand?"

"I don't understand why Lilly gave the wolves freedom if she their enemy."

Erebos laughed. "That's the easiest one to understand. She weakened my power in controlling my army. But… she didn't grasp the enormity of what the pack symbolized. Yes they were free to not be forced under my command—but there was already an Alpha. And he swore his life and loyalty to me. He… and he alone ensured that the wolves would fight the other venom."

Jacob put his arm over Bella's shoulders as she tried to understand. "My grandfather built the bond between vampire leader and wolf Alpha. And now I have that power too."

"Ephraim." Bella said with skeptical eyes.

"Was his human name. His wolf name is Murat. He went in to hiding after the Mother died. He knew he would be hunted. See if the Alpha dies…"

"So the bond dies with him." Erebos finished.

Bella was scratching her head as she stepped back. "Bottom line." She said looking at me.

"Lilly was not the hero. She was the bad guy." Seth said.

Impressed I turned to smile at him. "Yes. Though it is not until Edward talks to Aro that may finally get to shed some light on all of this. They tried to silence my visions—by using a gifted vampire who neither smelled of Lilly nor Erebos. And a secret awaits you there Bella that might turn all realities upside down."

She was not happy about that statement. I looked to Erebos for explanation.

His dark face grew paler by the minute. How strange. I found the more I knew of him, the more human he became.

"Exactly," he breathed. I smiled. No one else would appreciate the way he thought but me.

"Bella. We must go. We have a long journey ahead of us and a fight that… I still can't predict the outcome. For now—just know that this…" I waved around the circle at those of us standing together. "This is all any of us can trust. We won't know what is real, or who is truly against us when we get there. Trust in each other. And we will survive this."

The boys headed back to their car. Leah and Seth pulled Jacob back to ours. Bella Erebos and I stood close and whispered.

"What is going to happen?" Bella pleaded.

Erebos closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't know either. I just know that nothing is ever what it seems with them. I have had to perfect an insubstantial existence because of them. And Alice has gone insane to hide from them. I fear Bella… fear that we are unprepared for this."

Bella narrowed her eyes at her grandfather. "Are you telling me… that our family… that even with all we have done to protect them…"

I nodded. "Bella, we can only begin to understand the lives and minds of those we love. And if Aro suspected… anything…"

"Why. Why tell us now. Why not allow us to hope."

"Bella…" Erebos' voice was darker than the forest around us. "Do not lose hope now. This is not the first time you have faced death for him. And it will not be the last."

"What the hell was all that with Lilly and Murat! What the hell are you trying to say? Just say it!"

I closed my eyes. "Bella… the wolves can turn on us. Lilly tried to force them on her side. The Alpha is the only piece that keeps them loyal to us. The venom will corrupt them if not controlled. If Jacob dies… even baby Seth… would come for you."

Bella's eyes grew wide. She couldn't believe it. Maybe it wouldn't happen that way. I hoped. I was always filled with hope.

"She was one sick twisted bitch!" Bella's breath was ragged. "She… _she_ created them didn't she?"

Erebos said nothing. But his lips pulled in to a tight line that told the truth.

"_You_ gave them free will. Didn't you?"

His face was stone. Even I had to wonder if it was true.

"Why? Why are you defending her? Why are trying to change your own history to protect her? She is the evil one. You said it yourself. She was poisoned. She made these creatures and then when she couldn't control them she created any army to kill them. Why are you protecting that?"

He looked up to the darkness above him for an eternal minute. Then his eyes lost some of their new lightness. He didn't confirm her accusations. "I killed her child. I corrupted her body. This is my penance." He faded into the shadow before we could question him further.

"What's real Alice?" Bella whispered.

I turned to my sister. I was the wrong person to answer her. I laced my fingers between hers and squeezed as tight as I could.

"This."

**\/Darkside\/**

**(September 13 1988)**

_Dear Dairy,_

_A new Cullen was born today. I feel it. I feel that in a handful of years I will see a need to move us west. To a place called Forks. Let Edward sulk for his loneliness. He will not always be that way._

**(January 2005)**

_Dear Dairy,_

_He met her today. Bella. My soon to be sister. The fact that she is his singer. The fact that her blood calls to him more than any blood has ever before- Makes the truth that he denied that thirst and left the child alone all the more powerful. Edward fought the thirst. He didn't kill her. _

_Now he can begin to love her._

_I see it. A little over a year from now, I will be planning their wedding._

**(September 2006)**

_Dear Dairy,_

_My sister and my niece were born today. Bella to the world of eternal children. Her daughter to a life that none of us can understand. She is beautiful—well both are. _

_We all have found a new purpose in our lives. This child is special—to both worlds that she exists in. She has grounded all of us to a life of hope._

**(January 2007)**

Dear Dairy,

The Volturi have left. Our guests have filed out of the doors and headed home.

My brother and his family have retired to their cottage. Peace. We are all lighter after the fear that has tormented us for so long.

Jasper runs his hands along my face and neck. It has been too long since my family could have a quiet moment to enjoy life once more. A renewed hope.

Jasper laid me down on our bed. His lips touched my chest above my heart and the electric current shot straight to my brain.

I sat up like I had been slapped awake.

"BELLA! EDWARD! NO!"

I could see it… they never left. They just hid. Hid beyond the darkness that I could not see. Blocked their image from my future.

"What Alice?"

I could see it.

_Bella leaned up to kiss Edward. A look of heaven across their faces. They were so caught up in the moment of love that neither of them saw nor heard the two that have entered their house._

_Edward's head breaks free from his body as Bella's head is torn from hers._

_Marcus and Cauis turn as they finish dismembering my siblings' forms. Aro stands with a sleeping Nessie in his arms_.

We never saw the smoke in the distance—for the others were in our house now destroying what was left the rest of the family. But I saw Aro toss the lit candle on the lovers' bodies. I saw that this story was ending—just not how we had thought.

I closed my eyes as I felt my death upon me once more.

I would have to undo so much this time—where to jump back to?

The beginning.


	24. Chapter 24:The end is the beginning is

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question:**

"The sewers belch me up  
The heavens spit me out  
From ethers tragic I am born again  
And now I'm with you now  
Inside your world of wow  
To move in desires made of deadly pretends  
Till the end times begin

Is it bright where you are  
Have the people changed  
Does it make you happy you're so strange  
And in your darkest hour, I hold secrets flame  
You can watch the world devoured in it's pain  
Strange"

(Smashing Pumpkins)

**Answer**:

Life's a bitch, and reality stinks or The end is the beginning is the end…

**\/Darkside\/**

**Preface:**

She sat on the rock by the river—her rusty color hair blowing in the breeze. Her melted chocolate eyes filled with tears—of pride. Or pain. Or fear. I couldn't say. Her breath hitched as she balled her fists and then all at once she glared at me.

"Jacob. You have no idea what it is like to see everyone you love die… but…" She wiped the back of her hand across her face. Snot mixed with tears and she just didn't give a crap.

"But that was nothing compared to standing here today and seeing all of you—with no one remembering who am I."

I inched closer to her. I wished like hell that I knew who she was. I really couldn't imagine any reason why I would forget _her_. She was beautiful… but more than that… she was a part of me. I could feel that. How could I forget her?

"Where did you come from?" I whispered.

She rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. Yep. She was definitely Bella's kid.

"I was born three years ago… To Edward and, a then human, Bella Cullen. And… when I was… when I _looked_ three years old, the Volturi came to procure me for their menagerie." I rolled my eyes. She was totally Edward's kid too with a vocab like that.

"We thought we beat them… thought they were afraid of my mother… thought they were heading back home without a fight." She turned and her dark eyes bore into mine with all of the hell that she survived.

"I never saw them come. I didn't see my parents die. I didn't even wake up until I was already in Volterra. I lost my gift—it was burned out of me when Alice forced them backwards… like I was never born…. Never allowed to be the me that I should have been. Mom was changed by a different venom. She was… she needed my other gift, even gave half of it to my father, and so I ended up with her shield. I woke up—like this." She waved at her fully developed adult body. "Aro told me I was his. Told me that by not killing me… he saved my life. That if I had died I would have been like the rest of them—sent back to the beginning. But with my mother changing before she had me… I would never have been created."

She hiccupped as she started to cry harder.

"How?"

"My aunt. She has this ability. Everyone has considered it clairvoyance for most of her life but it's really more of a… She can move through her mind… all of her minds… Step forward and backward to memories or visions of what she has lived before or will live later… And she just jumped back to the moment where my father didn't kill my mother… and changed his mind."

"Damn."

**\/Darkside\/**

Previously:

"_Jane… do you have something you wish to tell me?" She bowed her head and offered him her hand. I could see the exchange on her end—still denied access to his thoughts._

_I gasped internally and tried not to show any outward signs of distress. I didn't know why, I was a part of this coven now and should trust this new family I was in. But I knew… sensed, that I could not trust what I thought was true. The Cullens were some beacon in my mind. And with the story Jane now showed my master—I ached to find them and comfort them._

_Jane was not only one of the most ruthless and lethal weapons of the Volturi coven—but she was the twin sister of my former brother Jasper. The reason Jasper became a vampire._

_But even that revelation was not the biggest shock—Jane moved past her preoccupation with Jasper to show Aro what was truly troubling her. And what I saw made my mind explode._

_I bit down on my surprise. And awaited the feast._

_Earn his trust__. The angel's voice echoed in my mind._

… "_Come, Renesmee…"_

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (where we left him)**

I would have hyperventilated if I had had a need for breath in my body. As it was… I simply stopped breathing altogether.

It was impossible. The child in Jane's mind—no the woman. She looked… she looked like me. With one exception, she had the most devastatingly beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I had ever seen. No. I had seen them before—the angel in my cell. She had those eyes.

There was a part of my mind screaming for my attention—but when I tried to focus on it my vision would grow blurry and no information would come. What did it all mean?

"Edward?" Master Marcus said from my right. I bowed to him.

"Yes master?"

"Have you met our dear Renesmee?" His heavy accent dripped around the arches of her name like the rising peaks in the ceiling above us. What a beautiful name… beautiful.

I shook my head. I honestly had no recollection of the child. And I had no more advantage to his motives of asking me this than I did of Aro's mind. But I could tell from the way his eyes narrowed as he watched my reply that he was using his gift to test my truth. Marcus had the ability to see relationships in people—I wondered what he saw between this girl and me?

"Good." Master Cauis said from Marcus's right.

To the far left, Master Aro laughed.

**\/Darkside\/**

**CPOV (same moment)**

The halls were moaning around us. I kept shaking my head. It was almost a nervous tick. Like an annoying thought that kept creeping up in your mind and you swatted it away to hold on to sanity.

They didn't bother with chains anymore. I walked down the darkened corridor without a struggle. It was an endless maze in these tunnels… though I knew all to well the way out—it had less to do with directions and more to do with desecrations.

My head ticked again. This time there was a growl in my chest and a slight red haze that fell over my vision for a second before it cleared and I was me again.

I could smell Esme before I could see her. I knew she was in the adjacent hallway. I could sense her fear for what awaited us in the chamber ahead of us.

Again my head ticked. Nothing waited for us. A battle. Red. Fire. Anger. Death. Yes… my lips curled up at the thought and a rumble roared gently in my chest. I would kill them all for what they have done- Starting with the beasts that held her down and ripped her apart. I would take great pleasure in their screams.

I shook my head. What was going on?

**\/Darkside\/**

**EmPOV (same time)**

Rose walked beside me in silence. Good thing. I wasn't in the mood to punch her. I knew that was where I was heading if she so much as tried to speak to me right now.

I had a lot of time to think about it. I would drag her by her hair… far away from everyone and everything.

And tie her up…

And wait.

Eventually… And I mean I could wait forever. Eventually, she will come around.

I can't feel this way about her if she didn't feel it about me. So I'll wait for her to remember that.

To hell with everything else.

I'd fight every last one of my one family if it meant I could just hide her away and help her realize how wonderful she is.

After I punch her.

She deserves one good punch.

**\/Darkside\/**

**RPOV (same time)**

I did't need to look at him to know what he was thinking. I just hoped he went for the stomach—I could take it in the stomach. My nose was a little too perfect for an Emmett punch.

I just wished Carlisle would have listened to me. None of them understood what Aro has planned for tonight. After the wedding… he'd rather the Cullens be exterminated than converted.

And like it or not. Since I wasn't granted any different life.

I was a Cullen.

**\/Darkside\/**

**JPOV (Same time)**

My memory was starting to creep back into the recesses of my mind… Alice. I need Alice to help me…

Fear. Pain. Need. Emptiness.

All I could see was red. Red on my hands. Red on the ground. My parents' bodies mutilated. My sister's body writhing in pain as she tried to crawl away from me.

The boy was there. The one with his arm around her now. I remember his smile the night that I was changed…

Innocence? Alice… I need Alice.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV **

I could feel something building inside me as I watched Marcus and Alec prepare the alter. Elizabeth Masen… my human mother… would be joined to Aro in this dark ceremony. Some distant part of my mind was raging and drawing my attention.

"Edward? You seem troubled my son." Aro's hand rested on top of my hand. I cared not for the contact. I had nothing to hide from him anymore.

"Ah… you worry about your mother's place. Don't worry. She wants this… And I want _her_." His voice was ancient and as fathomless as the darkened hallways that lined this chamber.

"What do you desire? From her? Why does she intrigue you?"

"She is a woman… innocent but full of promise. She will be fun to play with for the next hundred years or so."

I snarled slightly at the thought. She was no toy.

"Anger is an understandable response to such emotions Edward, but hardly warranted here. You tossed your own mate aside without so much as a memory of her left behind."

I frowned at his words. I had no mate. Not one that I could remember. My vision grew blurry once more and the rage grew louder in the back of my mind.

"What purpose is there in keeping the Cullens now Master? Why did you keep them before? To draw out Erebos?"

"Ah… you are never going to get over that curiosity, are you Edward? Very well. I do so enjoy a good ceremony. And, yes, I had hoped to anger the dark father with my ease of capturing Elizabeth—do not think that your impudence in changing her will go unpunished forever…" he turned to me with dark eyes and I bowed my head to beg forgiveness. I had no idea why I had usurped his right to change her. What had possessed such defiance in me?

"But mostly I thought it entertaining to see how far the limits of our mighty Cullens stretched. And they are beginning to crack my boy. See the doctor with his nervous eyes. Oh how I had plans for Carlisle once. And the blond one—the male who led the armies of the cold ones so effortlessly… he is finally discovering his higher purpose. And the innocent mother—she fears that she will attack a human out of bloodlust. All because of this time spent locked away in here."

I watched Carlisle from the corner of my eyes. He twitched minutely but uncontrollably. It was disturbing to see. Had Aro finally discovered a way to drive vampires insane? And Jasper—the darkness swirling in Jasper's face was truly terrifying. The thoughts and images that were floating into my mind from his—made me hunger to kill.

But the heartbreaking thoughts were Esme's. She was so frightened. Terrified that she would not be able to control her desires and she would hurt someone innocent.

"Now… the fun thing is the vain one. She truly believed in her bargain with the devil—believed that she would triumph over betraying the ones who loved her. Ha! Human nature is such a deliciously predictable fault. Learn from this Edward… The most effective form of torture is to leave someone alone with their own thoughts long enough to convince them that love does not exist in their heart."

I nodded as he smiled. The angel's image was in my mind. Did she love me?

Aro released my hand to take his position on the altar. I took my place on Aro's right while Cauis stood to his left. Elizabeth was brought in by Marcus. She wore a pure white gown and a huge wide smile. Other than the scarlet of her irises—she looked truly angelic and pure. Innocent. Untouched.

I closed my eyes to the image. I saw Carlisle's twitching from the corner of my eye once more and felt my own head begin to give to the nervous tick. The roaring was growing more pronounced followed by a message… a beautiful voice.

_When the ceremony begins… unleash the beast_…tick… Tick… Tick…

"Master?" I had no idea why I spoke but I needed to… find out more…

"Yes son?" But as I started to speak the child from Jane's vision came to stand behind Marcus—facing me. Her chocolate brown eyes grew wide as they met mine.

I blinked—suddenly I could hear Aro's thoughts…

_Once she is joined to me… let us see that dark bastard change the world. I hold two of the keys… the other will come. She can't leave him here unprotected. Once I have them… I will crush him. Just as I saw in the beginning. Erebos will die. I will become the new father—I will shape the next generation._

My rage made the room wash in shades of red. Two of the keys… I was one of them… who was the other?

I looked up to find those same chocolate orbs boring into my wondering eyes. Her. She was the second key… why?

"Bring forth the prisoners." Cauis commanded. I bit down on my anger as my family was lowered to kneel before the altar where we stood.

"Carlisle Cullen… you and your family have been charged with the crime of treason. Your family has sought to undermine the authority of the Guard's rule. You have created children out of the desire to finish the devastation that you brought upon this coven a hundred years ago. And you have sentenced your family to death for your actions. What do you have to say for yourself?"

I was hardly aware of Cauis' proclamation. I was terrified by the sight of my vampire father. I knew better than anyone what Carlisle had done to escape this place in his youth. He had murdered twenty members of the Guard and had to kill some human bystanders to get free of Aro's hold.

"No words?" Cauis' overconfident voice asked. "Fine. Start with the mother." His words were a condescension that wrapped around the concept of what Esme was to all of us. She was truly our mother—and he made the title a curse. She didn't scream. The room grew eerily quiet as she knelt before the executioner—she raised her eyes to Carlisle's—a peace and a love so deep that it stirred something deep inside of me settled over her face. She closed her eyes and bowed her head… My eyes were instantly drawn back to Carlisle.

There was a rage that came with a heart like Carlisle's. He was honest and kind and true—but to every Yin there was a Yang. To every light there was a dark. To every good deed there was a hellish act that had to be committed.

The snarling, ravenous beast that was barley contained by Carlisle's pale skin and fair hair—was going straight for Demetri.

And at the sight of my father's transformation my own mind came flooding back to me—my wife. My promise. My reality. And my power…

While everyone else staid locked in the illusion of Volerra… my real body awoke.

I pulled myself up—finding myself face to face with Renesmee.

"I'm a shield." She explained.

I nodded. She was not under Bella's influence. And she did not let on to the plot—so she was an ally… for the moment.

I scanned across the field. Aro was fifty feet away. I crawled over to him—my limbs feeling drained and weak from the lack of use for the last two months. I closed my eyes and drew inward.

I could see Bella… all those months ago in our meadow. I could see her pulling me under—developing this power that I had no idea I possessed. I had thought it a monstrosity of my identity. Thought that is was only the darkside of my personality but Bella knew better—she connected this evil to enhance my ability.

_Focus Edward. You can not only hear thoughts—you can project them too. Control with them. Just like me… try it… That's it_…

I took a deep breath. I had never tried to use this gift. I wasn't sure anymore if that moment was real or not—but the voice screaming in my head told me this was the moment and this was what I was suppose to do.

I sat next Aro's head and snarled in his unconscious face. I leaned down and whispered, "Destroy your self." I placed my hand on his forehead and pushed the command toward his mind with my own—projecting an image of him using his own hands to tear part his own flesh.

Within seconds… he followed my command.

Renesmee gasped behind me. "That's new." She breathed. I chuckled darkly and heard the enraged cries from Carlisle's trapped form in the distance to my right.

"Brace your self child," I said standing up and placing the girl behind my body.

"The war is here."

**\/Darkside\/**

**Erebos POV**

Bella's pack was still minutes from Chicago—this battle could be reduced to devastation in that amount of time.

"I'm sorry old friend. I promised I would not do this." I closed my eyes and called upon my wolves.

Howls erupted in the near distance. The ground shook beneath my feet.

I hung my head as I felt him shift. I had promised him a quiet life. Promised that he would not have to face this evil anymore. But I could not let these children be slaughtered.

Bella's hold would not last much longer.

I slithered in the shadows of the scene—Edward and Renesmee stood braced for the others to awaken. I could stay and fight. I could help…

But I saw her.

Elizabeth lay serene and peaceful. Her changed form called to me. That burning that Bella had helped me discover rose in my chest… She was too pure for battle.

I draped my cloak over her body and lifted her into my arms—making sure to not touch her flesh with my own. I silently commanded Murat to follow Bella's lead.

And I fled.

The… emotions that were born in me with this woman in my arms made me weak… I feared the fight. Feared her becoming injured. But I also feared for my son. Feared for Bella.

I clutched Elizabeth closer to me and ran. It was best to focus on the love emotion rising in me… the opposite emotion… would level the world if not controlled.

I would not fight in this battle…

But this was hardly the last fight that we would have to face.

I worried that too much was still left unknown. Knew that one of the Cullens would die before this day was done. But I was no Alice. I could not begin to predict what would happen next.


	25. Chapter 25: War and pieces

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

When we stumble out of the darkness and into the burst of afternoon sun, our eyes are blinded all the more. Just because our world is illuminated does not mean we see anything. Open your eyes.

**Answer**:

Chapter 24: Well damn or War and Pieces

**\/Darkside\/**

**Jacob POV**

The stench was crippling. We ditched the cars at the end of the paved road and pushed on with our new bodies.

I could feel Bella's worries- but more importantly I could sense something waiting for... _me_. It was weird. I didn't have the opportunity to fight this voodoo that linked this vampire lady and me. I never questioned the fact that I was meant lead this pack or that I was now half wolf when my temper called for it. But this… this was something that felt strange.

It was an impossible place to be—inside Bella's mind. I was lucky. I could see through all the bullshit that she was shoving at the vamps. Even the crap she was trying to force down on herself. But that just meant I had some awesome responsibility on my shoulders now.

I was the sorry bastard here that knew what the hell was really going on. And I was only a sixteen year old kid. Hell! Bella was only a seventeen year old kid. What the hell kind of business did we have fighting some epic war with really, really bad scary monsters?

_War is not pretty and heroic Jacob_. My grandfather had always warned. _It is ugly and painful… and endless._ The sorrow in his eyes when he would talk about the thousands of years that he fought the cold ones was never missed by me. The others were lost in the worship of the charge—I was trapped by the promise of the duty.

I was bound to Bella—not forced but I refused to allow this power to turn against her. The others could walk away, but I would be her Alpha for the rest of eternity.

_Bella_. I warned. _I sense something_… I bit down on the other sensation—the one that told me some destiny was waiting for only me here. That scared the shit out of me. But I could feel something else. _The wolves—my grandfather. They're already here_…

_Okay. Thank you Jacob—I will find Edward. You pull the pack around and wait_…

She stopped. We all stopped.

The air was deathly still when we reached the clearing behind the cabin. Not quiet—but still. There were giant wolves and vicious vamps already going at it. And the Cullens were nowhere to be found.

We stood there—the nine of us. Frozen for a moment in the cold hard reality of what we were heading into. This wasn't some set up where two hundred vamps were going to lie down and wait for us to quietly burn them. This was an already sadistic slaughter that went back long before any of us were born… What the hell were we walking into?

"Edward…" Bella's voice was emotionless… and yet it was painful to hear. Shit. She was the tough one.

_Focus Bells_. I thought. _What should we do?_ We heard a scream in the distance. Our heads turned as one to see the nice one—the doctor, Carlisle, pulling one of the big baddies away from the crowd.

"Demetri." Alice said as she walked up beside us.

It was… not something easy to watch. I could feel the terror from Bella. The confusion. The… loss of innocence as she watched her beloved, gentle father rip that huge vampire to shreds with his bear hands. There was an emptiness in the doctor's eyes when he did it. And a rage on his face that made Seth whimper.

_Man up guys… and Leah. This is what we trained for. We can do this. We're strong. We can do this_.

I closed off the bond to suck in a sharp quiet breath. Shit. Could we do this?

Bella looked over at me and swallowed hard. Leader and Alpha. Not just two kids anymore. She nodded once and that was that.

She ghosted down the hill to the battle scene. I turned to my pack.

_It's on_.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV**

I had thought I would need to protect the girl with the shield—turns out she was a damn good little fighter. Even against vampires twice her size.

It was still odd to watch her. Her style of fighting… it mirrored my own. And there was a way she smiled when she took one of them down. I had seen that smile on my face. That signature crooked smile.

I cringed as she went after Alec. I was seeking out Cauis—I wouldn't be able to help her.

She made short work of the boy. Ripping his head from his body in one swift move, but Jane was not far behind.

I was torn.

I saw Cauis retreating by Aro's broken, unmoving form… When I looked back the girl was finishing Alec off and tossing a match on his chest. Good. I didn't have time to waste to see what happened to Jane.

I flew over earth and melted vampire flesh. The occasional wolf body lay twitching in a slow death and I paid no attention. If the Three were not stopped today—we may not ever get another chance to defeat them.

I was a bullet of determination as I made my way toward Cauis and Chelsea. A rocket that could not be stopped… so when Felix slammed into me, we made a ditch four feet deep when our combined inertia hit the ground.

I was a snarling beast with him on top of me. I tried to force my hands to his flesh but they were pinned at my sides. He bit my neck—on the left side, over the scar from when my mother bit me the day I died.

"Hello Edward." Felix hissed. I snapped my teeth at him—trying to move his impossible weight from my chest.

"This will be my pleasure." His big hand moved to the top of my head and his fingers dug deep in my bronze locks. I howled in rage as I felt my skin begin to tear from where he bit me.

"Get away from my son."

Felix chocked a breath of shock as Esme's hand plunged through his chest from behind his body. This stalled him long enough for my hand to be freed.

I pictured him ripping off his own limbs and jumping into the fire that burned from Alec's small form.

He immediately complied. Esme flopped forward on to me once she wiggled her arm from his chest.

She was breathing hard and her thoughts were regretful and shamed. I rolled my eyes. Only Esme would feel bad about killing the man who ripped her apart for entertainment.

"Are you okay Edward? Oh…" Her gentle hands smoothed the flesh on my neck and I could already feel the venom healing it back together. The bite would not heal—it held his venom in it. But if that was the only scar I walked away with today I would consider myself lucky.

"I'm fine. You find Carlisle and stay out of the way of danger. Please. Mom." She nodded—put her hand against my cheek before jumping out of the tiny grave that I found myself in.

When I popped my head out—Cauis was not there.

Damn it to hell.

"EDWARD!" I turned to see… _Bella_. She was running across the field towards me—dodging blows from some of the unnamed guards who were being ravaged by the wolves.

It was easy to understand why we might win this battle today—the guard members were not the same as the warriors. They had no experience fighting wolves.

I was pulled from my musing as Bella fell to on her back from Marcus' sudden attack behind her.

"BELLA!"

If I had a beating heart it would have stopped. My mind froze around one thought- KILL.

I would do more than just rip him apart if he hurt one hair on her head. I closed the distance faster than I had with Cauis. But the four wolves got to him first. Once my rage melted into jealously and then flowed in to thankfulness, I realized that these wolves were different from the rest. These must be Bella's pack.

Each wolf took a limb and pulled—Marcus was no inexperienced guard member—he was one of the oldest vampires in existence. He pulled his appendages back together and the wolves lost their footing at the force of the pull.

Damn. I made to help but I should have known better than to second guess Bella—she knocked his legs out from under him and the wolves held him down.

"Open his mouth Jacob." The russet colored one put one of his giant paws on Marcus' chin. While Bella pulled out a match.

"Suck on this." She said and shoved the lit match in his mouth. Clever girl. The pride I felt for her in that moment almost made me giddy.

"Throw him into the crowd!" Bella yelled. Already Marcus' eyes were ablaze with a blue flame and his limbs were thrashing about. I watched, amazed, as Bella and her newly changed pack pushed the walking bomb into a nest of three guard members. In a second his body burst and the blue flames doused the scene—along with chunks of his former body. And though the vampires were not harmed—the bits of Marcus that had staid solid long enough to explode had knocked them down. Her wolves made short work of now incapacitated vampires.

Bella drew in large gusts of air—out of habit in the replacement of adrenaline. She turned to me and I saw that Newborn Bella had enjoyed the fight but that Human Bella was glad to see me—almost forcing tears in her eyes. And Vampire Bella ran into my arms.

Her scent hit me first. But only a breath of a second before her body slammed into mine and I felt our electric bond surge stronger than ever.

"Edward." She whispered as I crushed her to me.

There was a bloody, holy-hell of a conflict erupting around us—but we didn't notice anything but each other. She leaned back in my arms so that she could look in my eyes.

I smiled. "Hi." I said as if she had just come home from shopping and I had nothing more important to do but greet her.

She smiled. "Hi back." We shared a gentle kiss—almost painfully soft. A whisper of our flesh meeting. It was all we would be able to have at the moment.

I felt a hard kick in my side. Bella and I landed on our backs—Chelsea and Cauis above us.

"Do it." Cauis commanded. He was picturing her breaking our bond. It was the one pleasure left to Cauis now. Since the loss of his wife, see happiness and love like ours separated made him happy.

Chelsea glared down at us. Bella clutched her hand tightly in mine. I returned the pressure. Not only did our electric bond still pulse in the air around us, but the mental bridge that we had broken while apart was forging anew. Chelsea was not having any effect on us.

Strange. It had not worked when I was alone because part of my mind would forever be in Bella. It had only slightly worked because I silenced that bond to gain her trust. But now… it was as if she no longer had a power to wield over us at all.

"Renesmee." Cauis hissed.

The child. Where was she?

"You called?" Her high voice asked from above my head. I looked up to see my smile on her face and a twinkle in eyes… eyes that looked just like Bella's had in her human face.

Renesmee leapt on to Chelsea to take her down. Bella and I followed the now retreating Cauis.

_We have to stop him_. I thought. He is the last.

Bella agreed. But neither of us had an active enough gift to take him down.

When in doubt always bet on Alice… I heard her telling Emmett to get ready. She had gleaned Cauis' retreat and our biggest sibling was poised ready to take him down.

He never stood a chance. Emmett fell with the grace of a grizzly from the tall tree at the start of the woods. Cauis gasped as my brother growled—a low deep menacing rumble in his chest. Emmett's eyes were dark and wicked as he slowly inched the ancient back toward us.

Bella and I blocked his escape from behind and Alice closed in on his right. Emmett was wide enough to cover the front and the left.

Each of us took a chunk of him and pulled. His screams were short lived before his head no longer had a body to return to.

And as he went up in smoke… I felt an amazing relief settle on my shoulders.

"Don't celebrate yet." Renesmee mumbled coming up behind me.

Bella called the wolves off as the remaining handful of guard members retreated into the now growing darkness of the woods.

I looked up to the sky. Twilight. The safest part of the day for our kind to travel in the open. My smile turned to a grimace. At least it was only a handful of minions. We cut the head from the snake today.

_Bella! You're gonna wanna see this_. Jacob yelled across my mind and Bella's.

He stood by Aro's forgotten form. I could hear his thoughts. My entire form sunk at the possibility that he might be seeing something real.

"What?" Bella said turning to me before she walked over to him.

"Damn," I whispered and led her to the darkest secret weapon in Aro's guard.

Carlisle flanked Bella and Alice and Emmett and I were on her other side. Together we stood over the suddenly reforming body.

"What the hell!" Emmett shouted.

"Mutants." Alice whispered.

"Fudge." Bella said.

"No fuck." I corrected.

"I concur." Carlisle agreed.

The body that I had believed to be Aro morphed in a smaller body—a female body. We all watched in combined horror as Aro's wizened face melting down to a youthful girl's.

_You?_ Jacob asked looking up at Bella. His wolf lips whimpered the question. I heard it clear as a bell in my mind.

Bella shook her head. This was not the work of her illusion. Everything on this field today was real—solid cold hard truth. But this thing… what was it?

"Her name is Meta. She is… one of Aro's experiments." Renesmee stood behind us explaining. "She is a shape-shifter. She could take on the appearance of anyone she wanted to. Aro kept her close whenever he was around anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if Aro never came here in the first place. It is kind of his M.O."

Bella turned at the sound of the girl's voice. I watched her as she inspected the child for the first time. There was a pull she felt toward the child. But she too was blank as to any connection to her.

"Who are you?" Bella asked her politely.

Renesmee hung her head and sniffed a quiet tear. "No one."

We surveyed the rest of the damage. There were a fair number of wolves lost… none from Bella's pack. But the young one—Seth was nursing a broken paw for the moment.

I tried to grant my family privacy for the self evaluation that comes from facing the kind of acts we committed today. But it was impossible to not hear them at all.

Carlisle kept looking at his hands. Hands he had devoted to healing and preserving lives for the last hundred years. All he could see was unwashed blood.

Alice was kicking herself for something she didn't even know she had done. I shook my head and left Alice's mind behind for the moment. I wasn't in the mood for the headache.

Jasper… was holding down Jane. I turned to Alice. She nodded and went to find him.

Emmett—was squaring off with Esme.

"Damn it." I whispered. The family followed me to find him growling at Esme as she… sat on top of Rose.

"Esme… please." Emmett warned. I could see the battle raging in his mind. The safety of his mate—even though he knew her a traitor—versus the impossible task of hurting Esme.

"No Emmett." Our mother said with a patient calm voice. "She can't just walk away from this."

**\/Darkside\/**

It was decided. Family vote. The wolves held her down while we—voted on how to kill Rosalie.

Jasper held a snarling Jane by the arm as he followed Alice to the circle. Bella and I exchanged a quick glance. I leaned over and touched her forehead.

_Sleep_. And she did.

"You're right." Bella said watching Jane fall to the ground. "It is a creepy thing to see."

We huddled around and made one of the hardest decisions in our lives.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Renesmee POV**

As soon as the Volturi cleared and the other wolves bled back into the woods, night fell. And with the darkness of night—came a thunderstorm from hell.

And we weren't even in Forks.

"Aunt Rose?" I walked up behind Jacob.

He didn't know who I was.

Dad didn't know who I was.

Mom… mom even asked me who I was.

But surely Rosalie… the vampire who had threatened to kill every last Cullen who tried to hurt me…she would know.

The dark eyes that peered up at me told me two things. One—this was yet another case of 'you don't exist kid'. And two—this was not MY aunt Rosalie.

Jacob turned his head toward me. His black eyes searched mine. He felt it. I could feel it too. This went beyond even the parent bond. But… he still couldn't remember.

Frustrating would have meant there would be an answer to this madness eventually. I was a kid who was born in an alternate world. One that saw her family die and now is seeing them not remember her at all.

Frustrating was not finding two of the same kind of socks. This was something beyond words. This was standing in the middle of an open field with you mouth hanging open and no words coming out while you pulled out every last strand of hair on your scalp.

But this was my life. Unexplainable.

I sat on the ground next to Jane's sleeping body. Why seeing a vampire sleeping no longer amazed me was not hard to understand. I had been sitting in this field for the last two months with all of these vampires sleeping. It was more odd to see these people I thought I knew so well… changed. Different.

Surreal.

They were planning Rose's demise. I really had no clue what for. Other than the last day, I was told to shield but kept in the tower. I never heard or saw anything that they discussed. They were all trapped in some illusion. I was just locked away in some dream tower—in the dream which I had to fight like hell to get into in the first place.

This damn shield. How did mom stand it before? My gift was so much more… controllable. This was something that was wrapped around my mind and it was like fighting to pull stretch Armstrong apart to drop it even a little.

At least I did have something going for me. I didn't have to question what was real. No matter how hard they tried—no one could influence my mind and perceptions.

"Okay. It's decided." Dad said.

I shuddered internally. I had always known my family was powerful—capable of this kind of stuff because of their strength and their abilities. But… I don't know. Seeing them in war… that changes something eternally about how I can see them from now on.

Especially Carlisle. He was scary to watch lose that much control.

I wanted to close my eyes as I watched them face my aunt. Rose had been like a second mother to me—while in my mother's womb no less. She hugged me and kissed me. She loved me.

She brushed my hair. And she held me when I slept.

How could she warrant a death at her own family's hands?

What kind of horror movie am I living in now?

My eyes would not close but instead held open wide—helpless to watch my aunt die.

**\/Darkside\/**

**RPOV**

Lightening flashed around the scene as the family lined up in front of me.

They all stood around me. I watched the seven pairs of eyes narrow in synchronization as they watched me. I could almost feel the pain they imagined that they would inflict upon me.

Bring it on! Pain I could take. Pain I could dish out. Just promise me that in the end I would die. That was all I wanted. I was never a creature who should have lived. Death was all I had left.

I guess I should have been shocked- I could see an intense hatred in all of their eyes. Even Esme. Especially Esme.

But then, I lived a human life with a heartless mother. It wasn't anything new for me to see my mother look at me with disdain.

I leveled the one in the middle with my sharp challenging eyes. "Who's first?" Emmett snarled as he stared back at me. His big hands were claws- Hands that had caressed and teased my body into levels of pleasure that I had never dreamed of. But sex had never been anything for me- Just some desperation that this body felt. In my mind I was either the gutter whore of my mother or the rapist of my father. I was never a lover. Emmett deserved someone who could love him back. But it would never be me.

Carlisle stepped forward- killed by my father, how overdone. I rolled my eyes. But then I looked into his and... even I had to admit I was afraid. I remembered what he did to Demetri. I shuddered slightly as I picture him doing that to me.

He crouched down before me with a steely look that could freeze even my already frozen body. His black eyes were slits of rage.

He reached forward and took my hand. He had taken my hand a thousand times since I was changed. It was his way of comforting us. He would reach out his hand and let us know that he would always be there for us. Now my fingers trembled in his.

He took my thumb between his fingers- almost pinching it. I trembled all over now. His face was stone and his eyes were a black hole of a universe of darkness. "I made you my daughter." He said with a hauntingly hollow voice.

He applied the slightest pressure and my thumb pulled off into his grasp. I bit down on the pain. I would not give any of them the satisfaction of seeing me tortured.

"I gave you my love." He pulled my index finger off. He tossed the appendages on the ground next to me. How horrifically disgusting were we- my fingers moved on their own next to me. Clawing at the earth to find a way back to my body. Demons.

"I gave you my trust." Another finger. More pain. No response from me. I just glared back at him. There was no torment dark enough to faze me now. When he finished with the fingers his fingers wrapped lightly around my wrist.

He glared at me- his darkness touching mine deep inside of my soul. "This… is for Esme." He pulled my wrist off in one slow deliberate movement. I would admit- that one hurt. His hands trailed up to my elbow. Again the look and a sharp breath. "This is for Emmett." My forearm was now writhing on the ground beside me. His hands were on my shoulder and the snarls of pain were getting harder to keep quiet. "And this..." his eyes shown as if tears would have crested the lids were he human. "Is for me."

I shrieked in pain as my entire right arm was now in pieces torn from my body. Carlisle wouldn't do this to my whole body would he? I watched his cold hard face- yes he probably would.

"Carlisle." Esme stood behind him- her gentle hand on his shoulder. His beast was reigned in by her touch. He looked up at her with questioning eyes. She nodded and he stood.

Esme didn't touch me- she just… disapproved. Her eyes were razors across my skin. I had broken her heart. The only heart that had truly been promised to me unconditionally. I stared her down and felt a greater pain than Carlisle's torture. She was ripping apart my soul- reminding me that I was evil. Banning me from the heaven of this family's love and acceptance.

I shuddered again. They fell back into the line. I searched the dark faces of the people who I called brothers and sisters. Alice stepped forward next. She didn't stop- she just walked deliberately to me and bent down when she reached me. She slapped me once. Quick. Hard. And to the point. "Bitch." She spat and turned back to Jasper.

I almost laughed at that. I would miss Alice.

Jasper's face scrutinized me as I thought about her. His eyes narrowed and I felt a surge of anger wash over me. Jasper and his emotions- it was always easy to tell how he felt. He made you feel it too.

"Don't look at her!" He hissed. I smirked and looked at Alice once more. He snarled. "HOW!" He roared. I actually cowered back. The general was terrifying when he was on the warpath. "How can you sit there and smile! There is no curse dark enough for you! There is no suffering strong enough for you! You are evil Rosalie! Truly. Evil." He breathed the last and turned to face Alice with his back shielding both of them from me. That was a bit of a let down- I expected Jazz and Em to be the big fighters.

A growl from my left reminded me of the guy I had forgotten. I turned my head slowly to meet Edward's eyes. He had been away from the family for so long that... I had forgotten about his gift. Edward knew everything I was thinking.

And Edward was more ruthless and vicious in his fighting style than either of the other boys. He knew what you were going to do before you did. "You risked my mate. My family. And my unborn child. I will chain you to a stone wall and force you to live as a vampire for all eternity Rosalie." I hissed at him. Edward would do it. He would beat off everyone who wanted me dead and spend the next five thousand years making sure I never died. _Bastard_!

"Just kill me Edward. It makes it better for everyone—"

"NO!" He hissed. "If all you wanted was death we could have killed you long ago. You made every person here suffer for your vain need to die a _human_." He crouched down like Carlisle- only this time I was not stupid enough to try to hide my fear of the pain. I saw Felix throw himself on those flames.

My breath was coming in sharp pants and I prepared for the pain. "No." He said simply. His eyes narrowed and a sadistic smile that made me feel dirty spread across his face. "Pain is too nice for you. At least… from me."

He turned his eyes to Bella. She just nodded. She never looked at me. Never spoke to me. Another let down. I had kind of hoped to get some good swings in to her before I died. Edward's face was in mine in a second from that thought. His teeth were bared with dripping venom. He snarled a warning with angry dark eyes. It was like looking in to the face of the devil.

_You don't touch her_! He said across my mind. As if he controlled the weather as well as my thoughts—a clap of lightening mixed with a boom of thunder and his monstrous face was highlighted in a deeper shadows.

Suddenly my body was shaking and I didn't know why. I couldn't think. I couldn't... couldn't... my hand was clawing at my body- tearing in to the flesh and ripping it away from my bone. My fingers reached up to my face and tore down my cheek- my beauty was no more. It pulled chunks of my blond hair from my scalp. I couldn't control it. My mind was no longer my own.

"Edward." A deep voice said from in front of me. I just stared at nothing. Seeing nothing. Hearing nothing. I had one purpose- destroy myself.

"Stop Edward." It was Emmett. He was quietly telling Edward to stop. Instantly my body fell limp and free.

I cowered back from Edward. He was a terrifying monster now. His sneer told me that didn't bother him in the slightest. He'd rather be a monster than _me_.

I looked at Emmett. Suddenly everyone else was gone. It was just him and me. No words. No explanations. Just an ending.

He took off his shirt. I could still appreciate that body. He was a lethal weapon of strength. I stood and removed my cloak.

It was a pity that for one last time we couldn't just do it- I did like something about joining my body with his. There was a fullness and a completeness to me when it happened. Some promise I always let slip through my hands like the bleeding out of the pleasure from the climax. A single moment of chance that dissolved before my mind could

The family was standing just past the trees—out of the downpour.

"What would you…" I started to say turning to face him. I was silenced by his huge fist hitting my jaw and practically dislocating it from my face.

"AH!" I screamed. Emmett really was powerful.

"Why Rose!" He shouted. The rain dripped from his nose and chin and made my hair hang down my back.

I laughed. Sadistic. Emotionless. Hopeless.

"Why not Emmett!" I continued to laugh as the lightening flashed around us—almost making it appear to be midday for a second before plunging us back into darkness.

"You are better than this baby." He dropped his guard for a second—inviting me to take a swing.

Why? I just wanted to die. Fighting Emmett made no sense.

"Hit me Rose… hit me or else you live forever." The way he said it—it cut deeper than all of the other tortures.

It would kill Emmett to see me die. What was this emotion I felt now? Not guilt. I never wanted this life. It was Carlisle's fault that I was here.

Emmett punched me again—this time in my stomach. I collapsed from the force.

I could see the night I found him—my Emmett. I snapped the bear's neck before he could feed. And there he was… helpless and dying… and bleeding. I had fought the bear because his blood smelled so good. I was ready to cheat—drink just one human's life.

But I couldn't do it. Not when I looked into his eyes…

I looked up to see Emmett's black eyes illuminated by the lightening. They were changed. Not soft. Not helpless. And it was all because of me.

"Fight me Rose!" He snarled… I was wrong. He was helpless. He couldn't survive this anymore than I could.

"Tell me why! Why! I would have given you anything. I would have done anything for you Rose! Why! Why them!" He pointed toward the family… my family. The one I never realized I needed until I could no longer ask for their forgiveness.

"WHY!"

He slammed me into the ground beneath him. His hands were around my throat. His teeth were beard. And instead of the fierce warrior he became in battle, he was strained in defeat and pain.

"I love you." I whispered.

His ragged breaths slowed at my words—the tension slowly drained from his face. I didn't know why I said it. I never really understood the word. But if there was ever a creature I should have had the ability to love—it would have been Emmett.

He lowered his lips to mine and pulled back just before they connected with my flesh.

"Rot in hell." He snarled.

"Edward." Emmett shoved off of me and backed away.

"NO!" I growled. I thrashed and kicked and screamed as Jasper and Edward chained me to the tree.

"Stop moving." Edward said placing his hand to my head. Instantly I lost control of any movement of my body.

"Enjoy your death Rosalie." Edward whispered.

And with that… they were gone.

I stared up at the rain.

Forever.

Trapped like this forever.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV **

I sat against the car with shaking hands. What was happening to me? I wanted to cry- but I no longer produced tears.

"Bella?" God would his voice ever stop making me feel this way? "What's wrong my love?"

"I failed." My voice was just a solemn dirge for the loss of my hopes.

Edward sat beside me. He didn't touch me but the electricity that pulsed between us consumed me entire.

"How so?" His voice remained encouraging and almost light. It was sort of unnerving. I was the one with the awesome gift wasn't I? How was it that he always seemed to know so much more than me?

"What was the use of sending you here Edward? I am so incompetent that I put you all in danger. I should have known. Pulling away your memories... it was stupid and dangerous and... and I'm not sure I'm cut out for this."

Edward sat through my tirade without comment. When I was done and huffing from the anger of my failure he put him arm around my shoulders.

With a deep breath he gave me a piece of his mind. "With great power comes a great vulnerability my love. You _are_ cut out for this- it is your destiny. But no one is perfect." I snorted. _He_ was. And he damn well knew it.

Edward placed one long finger under my chin and turned my head to face him. His eyes were not troubled, as I would have imagined from what he had survived the last two months. He seemed... content.

"I love you." He breathed.

Our lips met and I understood.

There was so much we had to work through now. An even greater war to fight and we were at a disadvantage because we were even more in the dark than we were before.

But this. This burning pleasure that was throbbing from his lips to mine… this was real. And this was right. And that made everything okay.

**\/Darkside\/**

**RPOV (minutes after the Cullens leave—she is alone.)**

Alone.

I have nothing to even think about.

There are memories. None good. There is my mother spread open and naked—allowing her self to be ravaged.

There is my father's sickening smile as he defiles me without an apology.

There is even Emmett's face—contorted in the moment of release, now tainted by the fact that I was no better than my parents when it came to such an act.

No emotion.

No hope of salvation.

Maybe Emmett would return in seventy years and take pity on me. Unchain me and try to help me rehabilitate myself. I watched the shadows around me. The rain was slowing gently.

How hard would it have been to kill me? That's all I wanted. But none of them had the guts to do it.

"Oh my dear…" a voice darker than the black around me whispered. His voice was like rough velvet—ancient and full of secrets.

Erebos.

"They were never meant to kill you. They decided… I should be the one to do it. Since I granted my son, Carlisle, the ability to change you…. It is only right that I be given the ability to take that back. It is me and my ability to change your past that made you betray them was it not?"

I glared at the nothing from where he spoke. He wasn't really even here… I couldn't see him.

"Just because you can't see something…" the darkness moved next to me and a white face appeared with eyes so black they seemed translucent. "Doesn't mean it's not real."

I felt a fire course through me and for a second I knew what is like to be Alice—I saw it—me dying. My body disintegrated in to a million pieces—dust saturated into the collecting rain and washed away from this earth like the filthy mess that I was.


	26. Chapter 26: Go ahead bloodsucker

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

"This is not remarkable, for, as we know, reality is not a function of the event as event, but of the relationship of that event to past, and future, events. We seem here to have a paradox: that the reality of an event, which is not real in itself, arises from the other events which, likewise, in themselves are not real. But this only affirms what we must affirm: that direction is all. And only as we realize this do we live, for our own identity is dependent upon this principal."

—Robert Penn Warren.

Or… just accept that some things are unexplainable…but life still goes on.

**Answer**:

Chapter 26: You're a part of me or Go ahead bloodsucker… make my day

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (the next morning)**

Everything seemed a little bit brighter as our massive caravan hit the highway in the early rays of the breaking dawn.

It was some odd satisfaction to have faced off and won this round with the villain Volturi. As I had felt many times since becoming a vampire, there was just a sensation that told me I had faced a moment like this before… and not walked away so lucky. It made me continuously look over my shoulder as Edward drove the Vanquish at a Cullen-approved speed.

"Edward?" I said tugging gently on the hand that was clutched tightly in his as he drove.

He said nothing but smiled at me. I smiled in return. How effortless this bond was between us. The car buzzed with that odd energy that our bodies created when together. "Are you sure it was the best thing to let her come along… either of them Jane or the girl? We should know better than anyone how easily defenses drop when a stranger's loyalty seems too complete at first sight."

"Bella," He said with his soft almost fatherly voice. "You worry too much. They can't mask their thoughts or feelings from us."

I frowned. "The girl can. You said her head is as silent as mine." He nodded with a dark frown but said nothing. "How does that work by the way? What does a shield do?"

Edward drew in a long deep breath. "Shields have a natural defense embedded in their psyche that protects them from other gifts. The girl's is a mental shield. She can hide her thoughts from me, or her mind completely from you. But she can't shield her body. Jasper can sense her moods and Alice… well actually Alice can't see anything involving the girl. It's as if… she has no future."

I was instantly heartbroken when he said it. How awful for her to lose all hope like that. "Why doesn't she have a future Edward? What is it about her?" His hand gripped mine tighter and he cast a troubled glance out of the corner of his eye. "You feel it too don't you?" I watched him with weary eyes. I couldn't explain it to anyone but Edward but when I was near the girl I felt… My free hand ran absentmindedly over my stomach.

I felt for her the way I did for this child growing inside of me. "Yes." He whispered.

"What does it mean? Who is she? I mean… she looks… she looks exactly like…"

"Me."

I nodded. It was striking. I had never thought Edward could look more beautiful but that girl was the best parts of him amplified and feminized. She was him… but better.

"With one exception." He said bringing a finger from our bound hands to my face. I closed my eyes and he traced my lids with a feathery touch. "She has your eyes."

I gasped as he said it. I remembered… the human remembered. Those dark brown eyes that looked like melted baker's chocolate. The eyes that had drained of life in the face of a mortal father when I drank of his last drop.

"How Edward? How do we have a child that we don't know anything about? Look at her… she's… she's older than me."

"True. She looks to be about twenty five but so does Jacob." I scrunched my brows together as he compared her to Jacob. It seemed all too familiar to draw the link.

"Why _does_ Jake look so much older all of the sudden?" I felt like the kid sitting at the front of the circle on Mr. Roger's question hour.

Edward chuckled when he saw that thought in my eyes. "It's how the venom affects the blood. With us… we allow it to completely change our system—like draining the oil from a car to replace it with something new. It alters everything and eradicates the need for the human blood as it replaces that substance in our bodies. But with werewolves…it shares the body. It is a constant poison that infects only a part of their system. If any of them continue to phase for long periods of time they will feel more effects like we have. Immortality. Anti-aging. They already have the super strength and the healing abilities of venom."

"_But_…" I said as it hung in the open space in the car between us.

He smirked. "But it is just that to them Bella—poison. It can drive them mad. It can… you saw what it did to my mother. These wolves are slightly different from the original pack. They are descendants. They have genes that have traces of venom from birth. It is amazing but the pure venom that you supplied them seems to have accelerated their growth and aging by years once they tapped into it with the change." His eyes got that glazed look that they did when he was about to spend five hours away from me while he conjectured with Carlisle in the study.

I ran through it all in my head. One thing still bugged me. "And what is it about the girl that reminds you of the wolves?"

"Didn't you smell it on her?"

Perplexed I stared blankly at him. "What?" She smelled of many things—most of which reminded me of my family. She had large amounts of Edward's scent and even my freesia notes. But there were tinges of Carlisle and Esme mixed with even a hint of a scent I caught from Jacob at times. And Charlie. She smelled like the human's father.

"Yes." Edward said as if he had heard the part about Charlie out loud. I wondered if I was losing my block from his gift as I let my body sing with the happiness of his touch. He reached over to stroke the back of his hand against my cheek. "Her body is fueled by blood. And not venom laced blood like the wolves. It is a… some sort of combination. Some kind of hybrid of venom and blood."

"One of Alice's mutants?"

"No." His brows furrowed as he frowned. "She is… no. I don't know for sure. But… Bella, I sensed something when I was around her. I watched her fight. I saw her in Jane's mind. I heard her voice. She knows me. She knows you. The way she watched you after the battle…" I was unnerved by the sound of Edward's voice. I heard it only once before.

When Alice came to us with her vision his voice had sounded like that. Lost. Edward was afraid because he didn't know what to do. He had a hundred years of experience and no clue. I stared out my window for a second. A thought. Something that Erebos kept alluding to and I had dismissed at the time because I thought I knew the truth.

"Edward…" He turned with a troubled look that answered my question but I voiced it all the same. "Do you think… there's more to that apple business than Erebos has let on? Do… have we lived before?"

Suddenly thousands of tiny inconsequential moments were lining up in my head. Pieces that separately looked like scattered bits of nothing but when laid out together looked like chunks of a missing whole.

Alice's visions and the fact that she was the only vampire in existence who had ever had such a gift.

My feeling that I belonged with Edward no matter what happened—even willing to die that first day because I knew I would never really die.

The sensation that my family was simply that—a family that could never be broken.

A hope that Rosalie was not some evil that was unable to be redeemed.

My ease with Jacob and the nagging suspicion that at one point we might have confused that bond with romantic love.

The Volturi… a less than victorious showdown in a life that possibly ended too soon.

Renesmee… the child I didn't know I had.

I rubbed my stomach. The worry was building to some blackness in my mind. Like Alice I felt I could see the future- but I felt that the dark absent future of Renesmee was shared by us all. "When will he return?"

Edward sighed and rolled his eyes. "You didn't see her Bella… she…she was even more of a Newborn than you. And he has a serious issue with touching her… it will take time. And I will not deny him all that he desires. He is my father. And she is my mother and…" He snickered. I was confused.

"Sorry Love, it's just… I can't wait to see what he thinks of her temper. She used to stomp her foot when Aro didn't give her what she wanted."

"You hate it when I stomp my foot."

"Yes… but it's not _your_ foot and _my_ feelings that I am laughing at." He gave me that crooked smile and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

No… I felt something stronger. I gasped—my hand moving to feel it once more. Edward slammed on the breaks. His breath stopped and his hands clenched the stirring wheel and my hand with white knuckles.

His eyes were wide but they staid focused on the road and not on me.

I felt it again and caught my breath at the sensation. Wonder. That was all I could describe it as. I was washed in wonder.

"Edward…" I whispered. Why didn't he want to share in this?

His face was fierce as he sat in intense concentration. I cocked my head to the side to figure out what was going on inside his head.

All at once he turned his almost tormented face toward my stomach while he pried his hand from my grasp. He spread his palm wide over the center of the now more pronounced bulge.

How odd—it hadn't been that big yesterday morning.

He held his hand still for a second in one spot and then moved it to another—like a doctor with a stethoscope. I sat like a specimen and sighed. It was useless to try to speak to him—he would only glare at me until he found what he was looking for.

"I can hear them." He whispered—his voice filled with the wonder of my previous moment.

"You… what… _THEM_!"

"Yes." He looked me in the eyes then. And I would have been reduced to tears if I was capable of crying.

"I can hear their minds—there are two. You're carrying twins."

**\/Darkside\/**

**Jacob POV (back at Cullen Cabin in Chicago, same time)**

Clothes. The first priority was finding clothes. We needed to work out a system for this. It was only the second time any of us had actually phased. We weren't used to remembering clothes.

After the brisk introduction of the only guy I felt like cowering in front of in my life was over I worried about clothes. Bella's mate was a pretty intense, yet cool guy. Cool was probably an understatement. He was freaking Clint Eastwood with his steely jaw and cold stare. Resist the urge Jacob… _Go ahead bloodsucker, make my day_. Bella would have driven me into the ground if I embarrassed her like that. And I had to admit, he was freaking terrifying with that gift of his. But the weird thing was he was in my head. I could almost feel it. I couldn't block him from my thoughts no matter what I tried. And though there was obviously no need to worry as Bella ever only adored him, he was searching for any funny business between the two of us.

The bond between Leader and Alpha was hard to explain. But only Bella and I had to understand it. Everyone else could just go screw themselves.

Anyway, after he got over his first impression of me, he let the doctor tell us about the house and the promise of clothing. It was probably slim pickings for choices though. We were all built more like the big one—Emmett. Seth stole some of Edward's clothes even though he was still way to short to wear them.

I rolled my eyes. Hero worship and he doesn't even know the guy… though I would admit if he happened to own a leather jacket I wouldn't be opposed to borrowing it.

Sam wore some of the doc's old clothes—twenties style from what I could tell. Jared, Paul, Embry and Quil were battling over Emmett's work out clothes. I followed Leah to the psychic and the general's room—maybe he stashed some comics here too.

No such luck.

"Whadda you think?" She said coming out of the closet with one of Alice's dresses draping not even to her knees. "She really is a pixie." Leah sighed.

I smiled. "You look… nice. I suppose. You ever wear a dress before?" I couldn't remember it if she had. I'd known Leah my whole life. Everyone in the pack was like that. We just banded together naturally.

She looked down and scowled at the light blue dress. "No." She huffed and rolled her eyes when I crossed my legs as I sat on the bed. This naked around each other thing was weird enough with the guys.

Once she was gone I went through the drawers. Jasper had only two pairs of clothes. I guessed he had that many because Alice insisted he have more than one outfit.

I liked the guy. I knew he would be the hardest one to win over since he spent thousands of years fighting the armies of my grandfather personally. But… I respected him through just the pieces of his life that I could find hidden away in his homes. I pulled out an outfit that looked like it belonged in a Civil war reenactment. Grey. South. I shrugged my shoulders. Oh well. No use worrying about controversy at this point.

I decided to forgo the jacket—no need for it with my overheated skin. And rolled the too short sleeves up. The pants were nearly short enough to pass as long shorts but I resisted the urge to tear them off to make shorts. I wouldn't disrespect the outfit anymore than I had to. Shoes were useless too.

I went downstairs to find the other pack assembled in the front yard. My pack was rumbling in the kitchen. "Out back guys… _and Leah_." She rolled her eyes and they all did what I asked.

Sam stopped and shared a look with me. _Don't be stupid Jacob_. He said with his eyes. I could almost hear Bella's instant response—_it would be easier to ask the grass to stop being green_. I snickered to myself as stepped out on to the porch.

"Grandfather," I said coming up to the only other vampire-wolf Alpha in existence. If you had asked me three months ago where I saw myself it would NEVER have been here.

I mean use my power of imagination and I could see women… or money… or even my sweet ride all souped-up. But this. Here.

Rotting werewolf entrails and burning thousand year old vamp flesh… _bluhack_…

Of course then there was that feeling I was trying to ignore—the one that told me to growl at my own grandfather. Again—before I heard Bella's call, I was never anything but respectful and even a little in awe of Ephraim Black. But Murat—the first Alpha, he made the hair on the back of neck stand on end.

In many ways I could feel it. Sense it with my wolfy-senses. I knew his venom flowed from the same source as ours. But ours was mixed with our Leader's and just that shred of a difference put me on edge.

Wolves were volatile—the venom did that to the human body. Too much power. Too much potential. That just led to the blood corrupting the system. But not with an Alpha in place. If one of my pack was feeling the venom control them I could command it away. The pack mind gave me the pain and responsibility of the sickness and gave them the freedom to not worry.

But Alpha's were vulnerable. If we died… so did that control. And though I knew he followed a separate Leader. And though I knew that he didn't want to hurt me… wolfy-senses.

"Jacob." He nodded. I could see the clench in his jaw for the same tingle that I was getting about him.

"What called you here? I mean… well." Surveyed the battlefield. My guys… and Leah took down a good twenty or so. But there were over a hundred vamps down. And almost that many that escaped. And there were probably equal numbers of dead wolves.

Never mind the questions—it was obvious. We would've been pulverized without the support.

He nodded. "My Leader… he feared that this would be too great a challenge for the first battle that you faced. We were just here to help." His eyes narrowed and I felt that growl working back up. "We will leave the way we came. And… I will leave La Push."

There was a little bit of the original Jacob Black in me that said that was wrong. This was my grandfather. That was his home. But the wolf in me… that was _our_ territory—_my_ pack's. He needed to leave. We couldn't exist in the same place for a much longer time than this.

He nodded and led his wolves off. I knew it would not be the last time I saw them.

My gang sat huddled together by the back porch. Leah just kept staring back at the girl. I resisted the urge to look. It damn near pulled me out of my own hide to see her in my wolf form. I knew that when I looked at her with these eyes… well I had to send the guys… and Leah away before then.

"We're not leaving without you Jake." Seth said flexing his completely healed hand.

"Yeah. You are." They all dropped their heads at the same time as the Alpha command was issued.

"One day you're gonna regret using that Black." Leah hissed. I doubted it. Bella could hide behind her want to not become consumed by her power. But even she knew that the taste of such control was like a drug.

"Be careful Jacob." Sam whispered. I shut the bond off. I could get in their minds without permission but they only got in mine when I allowed it.

"Head back to Push. Take the Volvo." I tossed Sam the keys.

Jared and Paul both scoffed. "That ain't no clown car Jake. That's an effing hatchback. How do expect all of us to fit." Paul's whining was getting on my nerves.

"You won't." I crossed my arms over my chest and grinned. "You just nominated yourselves the first two to run." Their heads snapped down before they could whine again. Thank god.

"In shifts—four ride, three run. Take the phone…" I tossed it to Leah. She caught it with one hand without breaking her stare toward the girl. I waved my hand in her face and she blinked up at me with that typical Leah scowl. "Call Bells to check in. I don't know how far behind I'll be…" The girl's pull was growing stronger the longer I was human and near her.

"Remember when you get back that the rest of the family… they're gonna be hard pressed to like us. Let Bells ease us in. So... Seth?" He looked up with his puppy dog eyes. I rolled mine. "Stay away from the house until she says its okay. We don't need to make waves with the rest of the Cullens and put Bella in that position."

They all nodded—even Seth. Though I could feel… shit. He was feeling this pull too. But his was already moving west. In the cherry red M3 no less. Damn.

"No Seth." I commanded. His head nearly hit the step in front of him with the weight of force I had to use. Damn that pull was strong—almost stronger than my command.

Leah looked at her brother in confusion. "What the hell?" She asked looking between us. I just shrugged and ignored her.

"Go."

And like that I was alone. With just the tug at my chest that was pulling toward that unknown girl sitting by the tree.

I took a deep breath. I thought about my father. I thought about my pack—Bella. I thought about the sweet collection of comics that Jasper had hidden in his floor boards. Every movie I had watched as a kid at the drive-in—eating popcorn in the bed of Dad's truck as I memorized every line. But when I turned around they were all gone.

There was nothing but her.

And there never would be again.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Renesmee POV**

He took three steps from the back door to reach me. I don't know what they were talking about before his pack left. I was too focused on the smell of the burning vampires' flesh. On his first step I wondered if my body would burn the same. My blood was half venom.

I sighed on his second step. I didn't really want to be drug through the mud one more time today. I didn't even have an excuse for this punishment. I was born. Now I'm in hell.

On his third step I felt the air woosh past me and my hair blew around my face. I gasped as he picked me up ran me in to the trees. When he put me down we were on the other side of the lake. And we were alone. No rotting corpses or burning vampire body parts. Just him and me.

He lowered me down—and my skin, though it had always been warmer that most humans, felt freezing cold next to his burning flesh. Jacob felt warmer to me now. Why was that? And it wasn't just warmer—it was like an electric pulse that was shocking my skin where it met his.

Before I could ask or even ponder it fully he settled me on to his lap and placed a hard kiss on my lips.

_WHAT_! My mind screamed but then my body moaned. What was happening to me? That pulse jumped to our joined lips and seemed to suck me closer to him. I shoved with all my might to force his lips off of mine. Well maybe not all of my might. I was enjoying the kiss.

"What the hell was that for!" I yelled. Wiping my lips but wishing desperately not to at the same time.

"It's what you need… what you _want_." He said with sure eyes. He leaned down and my struggles could have been from an infant for all the use they were. He kissed my cheek and my jaw and then moved down my neck. I stopped struggling by then and just held on to his shoulders so I wouldn't collapse into a puddle in the grass.

"Jacob…" I was breathless as I tried to speak. "What do you mean I want this… how do you…" I moaned when he kissed my collarbone.

"I don't know." He whispered against my skin. It caused tingles to vibrate from the spot when his warm breath kissed me. "I just do. I know you want me… you _need_ me like this. And I can smell…" He cupped his hand between my legs and I was both excited and insulted all at once.

I pushed off with my reserved strength and he fell back.

"Back off dog!" I hissed.

He stared at me—blinking and then a slow smile spread across his face. "_That's_ why you smell like her." He said. He laughed sitting up into a lounge with his arm draped over his bent knee. "You're Bella's kid aren't you?"

My mouth popped open and I gaped at him with shock. How did he know… other than my scent.

"_Pah-lease_… that piss and vinegar is hard to reproduce. Unless you… reproduce." He said with air quotes around the result of my parents' love making.

I rolled my eyes. I liked him better when I was a baby and he was just a devoted big brother.

He watched me with that look—the one Dad used to give Mom. The one that said he couldn't read her thoughts, but he knew exactly what she was thinking. My eyes started to tear up again. Dammit.

I flopped down on a big rock at the water's edge. "Jacob. You have no idea what its like to see everyone you love die… but…" Snot ran from my nose and mixed with tears. I ran the back of my hand across my cheek—I couldn't give a crap for how I looked.

"But that was nothing compared to standing here today and seeing all of you—with no one remembering who am I."

The look he got this time almost made me back up in fear. Steele. Yeah—I'd seen Dad wear that one too. Whenever anyone hinted at threatening Mom. Crap.

He inched closer. I could see all of the same questions in his eyes. Why couldn't he remember me? What were we to each other? What the hell is this girl's story?

"Where did you come from?" He whispered.

I rolled my eyes and groaned in frustration. There was that damn smirk again. Mom had never been annoyed with Jacob like this before—that was Dad's area of expertise. Weird.

"I was born three years ago… To Edward and, a then human, Bella Cullen. And… when I was… when I _looked_ three years old," It was a little impossible to fully describe my whole story. Since I technically aged so rapidly that I was three years old within months of my birth. "The Volturi came to procure me for their menagerie." He rolled his eyes. I forgot. Jake didn't like those fifty dollar words as he used to call them. But he was smart. I wouldn't dumb anything down for him.

"We thought we beat them… thought they were afraid of my mother… thought they were heading back home without a fight." I remembered it. Remembered hearing the tearing of their flesh in my sleep. My parents were not shy about sharing in intimacy while I slept at night. How was I to know that what stirred me awake that night was the sound of their bodies being disassembled like the dead vampires on this field today—that I rolled over and fell in to a secure sleep because I trusted that we were all safe?

I glared with all the hatred in my soul toward nothing—and yet everything was shining in his black eyes when they met mine. He was apprehensive to speak. Good. I wasn't finished.

"I never saw them come. I didn't see my parents die. I didn't even wake up until I was already in Volterra." That was the worst feeling… until today. Feeling safe as I entered my dream world of a child—and finding my eyes opened to a world where I didn't belong. I deserved to die with them. If the world that I was born in was torn from this earth—I should have been too.

I sniffed again. Vainly I remembered how lost I truly was when I awoke. "I lost my gift—it was burned out of me when Alice forced them backwards… like I was never born…. Never allowed to be the me that I should have been." I was so lost without that part of me. It wasn't like any of the others in my family. None of the other gifted vampires could control a gift from birth. Not even Alice. It was more than an ability—it was my identity. And suddenly I was in a foreign place and lacking the one part of myself that was uniquely me. "Mom was changed by a different venom. She was… she needed my other gift, even gave half of it to my father, and so I ended up with her shield. I woke up—like this." It was something that took me almost an entire year to absorb. I became a tear in the universe—a paradox that slipped by the fabric of time. My history changed so the chemical make up of what made me, me could change too. It was almost like having a tooth pulled—if that tooth was a sequence in your genetic code and the device used to pull it was the very air you drew into your lungs.

My gift was sucked from me and this new gift wrapped itself around my mind almost immediately once the void was created. I was raped of my former self. I was violated. I sat in the dark room of the tower shivering within the shell of the life that I had become. Renesmee was no more. This body existed but it was only a body. The story of the soul and the aspects that made up the person that inhabited this flesh were stripped away.

And in the end I woke up not just fully grown for my species. I was a fully grown woman. I aged like werewolves did in their first phase of the change. My body shot up in age of twenty years in one night. When I awoke—the person in the mirror was not me. If it weren't for the memories—the ones so clear and sharp that they felt so real when I saw them in my dreams at night, I would never have known Renesmee Cullen. I was just Renesmee now. Renesmee of the Volturi. Shield of the Guard.

"Aro told me I was his. Told me that by not killing me… he saved my life. That if I had died I would have been like the rest of them—sent back to the beginning. But with my mother changing before she had me… I would never have been created."

This was the part that grew fuzzy in my mind. Mainly because I was never that big a fan of SciFi. I couldn't comprehend why my living at the moment time was changed matter so much. The Bella Cullen who carried and birthed me never existed—or at least not in this world. So why was I here? Aro would shake his head and wag his finger at me. _Some things were never meant to be understood_, he would tell me.

_Bullshit_. I hiccupped as I started to cry harder.

"How?"

This was the most confusing part of all. But I found the pages in her trunk. The day that I was hidden in their room. She kept them next to her deck of cards. I wondered what the rest of the diary said—it was located somewhere else. These pages were torn from the whole and kept from away from the rest. I only saw the pages that talked about the life I knew. They started the first time my Aunt saw my Mom—long before the family moved to Forks. And they ended the night my family died.

"My Aunt… She has this ability. Everyone has considered it clairvoyance for most of her life but it's really more of a… She can move through her mind… all of her minds… Step forward and backward to memories or visions of what she has lived before or will live later… And she just jumped back to the moment where my father didn't kill my mother… and changed his mind." Now if you could wrap your head around that—you could understand anything.

"Damn." He said moving into a crouch. I remembered that about him. Jacob liked to sit like that—he was never big on just lounging. He was always ready to run—on guard for a fight. But what he wanted to fight, I had no idea. Maybe he sensed the end in my future. There was a time when I knew without a question of a doubt that Jacob would fight with every last breath in his body to protect me.

"What…happened…" He cleared his throat. He couldn't meet my eyes while he tried to ask.

"To you?" I offered. He just nodded and fixed his eyes on the cabin that stood now on the opposite side of the lake. I looked over my shoulder and surveyed the massacre. Dead vampires. But dead wolves too.

I was resigned to remember that. _That_ no one told me but I saw in my nightmares the night I was changed. I saw. Felt. Lived—Jacob's death.

A single tear slipped down my cheek. "They crushed you all in one swift strike. Aro… he sent the ones that had killed the Cullens. And while you slept—they killed you." My voice lost all sound at the memory. I had felt ashamed for so long over it. I had cried more for Jacob's death than for the loss of any of my family—even my parents. I felt guilty that I had not given them all equal amounts of tears. But losing Jacob… the final piece of Renesmee was torn away from this body- the soul. He was my match. My soul mate. When he died, so did that eternal part of me.

"Hmm…" I looked back to find him… thinking. Dangerous. "So what's your name?" He slyly slid on her butt to sit right next to me. His skin didn't touch mine but the heat rolled off of him in waves and that crashed over me like the crests of the swells in the black ocean that surrounded my more recent home of Volterra.

"Renesmee." I said simply. I liked my name. Liked what it stood for. I wanted desperately to hold on to it for the past three years as it was one of the few things left to me that proved I came from something- That, my hair and my eyes. Those were my symbols of where I came from. Where I belonged.

"Bella named you right?" He said scrunching his nose. I couldn't help but giggle. Not only did he look… cute, when he did that. But it was the exact same reaction he had to my name when I was born.

"Yes. It is a combination of her mother's name and father's mother's name." I watched him with careful eyes. Behind his I could see the wheels turning. He was coming up with my new shorter name—my nickname. I waited with bated breath to hear it from his lips once more.

"Hmm…" This time he held his finger to his chin as if he were Sherlock Holmes himself. "Nope. I refuse to call you that. It's more than a mouthful, and you don't seem like a Rensusmoo anyway." I rolled my eyes. He refused to pronounce it right before.

I was suddenly very happy to be around Jacob. Mother used to call him her sun—and for me he truly was. The center of my universe and the only entity to draw light back into the darkness that was my life in over three years.

"Ren." My head snapped up when he said it. What was he talking about?

"Excuse me?"

"Ren. That's what I'm going to call you." He seemed very pleased by his decision. I was perplexed. I rather liked my old name—it was after all who I used to be.

"Ren?" He nodded, and smiled. The smile made my heart flip but my mind was still seized. "Not… _Nessie_?" I offered.

His flinched and then burst out in one giant laugh. _Ouch_. "Nessie? Why the hell would I name you after the Loch Ness Monster?"

He continued to laugh. My smile was a grimace but his laugh was infectious. I found myself genuinely smiling wider as he continued to snicker.

"Jacob." That was all I said. My eyes told him a thousand answers to all the questions his kept asking. My body eased in to the pull that his was sending toward me.

And his eyes melted from glee to smolder in a single breath.

His lips were on mine before my mind could process what I really did want—or need. He eased us back on to the grass—he on his back and me sprawled out over him.

It was nice. It was warm and comfy. We just lay in each other's arms—kissing. Tasting. Loving.

The electric pulse buzzed through ever inch of my body. And his big hands were gentlemanly soft as they secured me to him but didn't push me too far. He really did know exactly what I needed. I just needed to feel this—know this. Our bond, my imprint, I would explain it to him later. But for now… I was just lost in the sweet slow burn of his tongue on mine and the taste of his soul on my lips.

This was home.

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV (on the road, with the rest of the Cullen cars, heading south)**

Jasper was silent in the car. I could feel everything he felt but that only confused me more. He was so very angry. So… viciously terrified. He kept looking down at his hands.

"There's nothing on them Jasper." I assured him. I knew what he thought he saw. What he remembered from his human mind.

He sighed and looked out the window as if I hadn't spoken. Any other person might have been offended. I wasn't just any other person. And he was my other half.

I looked back at the sleeping girl. I wondered how long Edward's suggestions would last. I couldn't see her waking up before we reached South America but that didn't really mean anything anymore. I couldn't really trust my vision like I used to.

I still felt twinges from the imaginary torture.

"Alice…" He breathed without looking at me. I just continued to drive. He knew I was listening.

"Did they hurt you?" I gripped the stirring wheel to brace my body from the… raw rage that was pouring out of him. He would kill her. Not because he thought she had anything to do with my torture but because she was one of them—and he would eradicate any and all of them in the name of vengeance for what happened to me.

"No Jasper." I said in all honesty. "None of us were truly injured."

"That's not what I asked." His voice was laced with darkness. _Oh Jasper… please don't do this to yourself_.

"No." I said flatly. "They did not hurt me."

He growled and his hands balled as he felt my pang of pain. He misunderstood it as an effort to shield him from how badly I was hurt—but really it was just a pain of knowing I could not help him through this.

"Which one? What did they do?" I hated to see him like this. Like he stepped back in time and became the emotionless general again. And I hated that shell of an existence on his tongue or in his mind.

"Jasper. Look at me." He did without a second thought. And when he did his entire essence calmed and eased from the desire to fight. His mouth popped open and his fists unclenched.

"Alice. I'm sorry… I… We have to question her. There is an… identity in my mind that I don't understand—and I wish to erase." His voice was filled with so much sadness—hopelessness almost.

I sighed. One day I would find that bronzed hair bitch and tear her eyes from their sockets for doing this to him. She made him a murder—and then she made him forget. She found the twins when they were young—reminding her of her lost children at the dawning of our race. The girl was drawn to her—but Jasper was wise enough to stay away. That didn't keep her from trying to control him anyway.

She poisoned him—slowly. Venom madness. And like Elizabeth Masen, he was unable to control the rage and evil that was born within him from it. Yes. He killed his parents. But it was Alec's fault… Alec, the one who stole Jane from the family when she only a child. And returned to their home every night for a year to slowly drive Jasper insane while he slept.

Ten years after his sister was stolen and changed, Jasper was a ravenous animal trapped between the world of the living and this world that he was in now. He slaughtered an entire village—and came for his parents last. He drank their blood. Though his body could not process it. And when they caught him to kill him—she came back and bit him. Jane. His would be innocent but oh so corrupted sister.

She claimed it bloodlust but she was only following orders. And when Lilly "saved" him… it was only to serve her own selfish desires to preserve the son she felt Erebos had stolen from her.

But she had seen me—She saw me looking for him. Saw me protecting my family from Aro and his plans. And so she fought to hide him. Changing his name to Wilcox for Whitlock—sending her spies and assassins to kill me each time I was close to finding him.

But she couldn't see my diary. She didn't know that Jasper found my hidden clues and messages. And in the end he was able to break free and find me.

It would be a slow journey for him to accept what he has done. But that was the plight of the Cullen. A healthy dose of guilt kept us honest. All of this I knew—and most of it he was made to forget. But now with Jane's arrival his memories have unlocked and I would let his sister explain the rest. I needed to know her part in all of this anyway. I only knew the parts I saw—in his past that was still a future to me when I saw it.

"Don't worry my love." I laced my fingers through his and felt his need for me pulse through the joining of our skin. He smiled from the warmth it brought to both our moods.

"We will face this as we do everything." He kissed my hand at my words and eased back into his seat. If I were Bella I would swear that I had made him fall asleep. So drastic were his mood shifts these days—that worried me too. Though I refused to dwell on that thought with him so close. He needn't feel my worry. It would only increase his own.

"Together." He whispered and closed his eyes. I smiled. Together forever.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Jane POV**

I kept my eyes closed and listened—that wasn't my brother sitting with my enemy. He was the lie that had been created by the Mother. And the pixie bitch had no idea what she was protecting by not telling him the truth.

But then she didn't know the whole truth. No one did but me. She sent me to his cabin that day. She sent me to find the book—the one he carried on him like scripture.

And I found it. I read it. And I changed what was in it.

I slept in innocence to their wandering eyes—but it was my brother who was the sleeping evil… and none of them suspected a thing.

Perfect.


	27. Chapter 27: Slave for you

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

The amount of time you have to wait to unwrap your Christmas present.

364- days.

8,736- hours

524,160- minutes

31,449,600- seconds.

Impossible amounts of patience required to survive the length of one year… now multiple all of that by 6,000 years.

Merry Christmas boys.

**Answer**:

Chapter 27: Irresistible women and the men who adore them or Slave for you

**\/Darkside\/**

**Erebos POV (moments after the battle begins, in the wilderness of Canada)**

I could sense Bella's influence fading from their minds. All of the sleeping vampires in Chicago were waking up. Elizabeth stirred in my arms.

My imagined breath sped. My chest constricted. My mind froze.

Panic.

It was a foreign sensation to me. Like realizing that the burn in my gut and the aching chasm in my chest was love for this woman, this emotion would take some getting used to.

I have known all of my life that I was a creature without a soul. She pressed her little face into my chest—against the location of a once beating heart.

Fire. Need.

My mouth popped open with a gasp of desire. The force of the sensation shook me physically. I lay her reverently on the grass in the late afternoon sun. Then I ran fifty feet away from her. I watched from the shadows as I had done every second that I knew her. She was stunning as her new skin shimmered as it was bathed in light.

I could hear her even breath begin to show signs of awakening-an odd performance for an immortal. Sleep was something that I had not experienced for six thousand years. Unless you considered every night that I watched Lizzie sleep as an experience of mine. This became an overwhelming moment of fascination. I remembered, with crystal clarity, every single morning of her adult human life. I stood in darkness while she stirred toward the light.

But unlike all of the mornings before, she would awake to no more nights of sleep. She was like me now. Changed. Not human. My chest felt as though a heart pounded strong within it as her arms twitched to life.

Her body had lay still for almost a century. I had stood in the shadows, her willing protector. I had resigned myself to the truth that Lizzie would never wake up. That I would only be granted her thoughts and never be allowed to share my own with her. Would she even want to know this monster that I was?

My entire form locked in stillness as her eyelids fluttered.

Gasp.

Breath. None.

Fear.

Love. Burn.

Worship.

She was trapped in a hundred year frozen slumber. I had been helpless to change that fate… until our son offered me a step toward redemption. Her lips parted. "_Erebos_." She whispered.

Were there words for this? I knew thousands of languages. I knew thousands of years. I had never known… _this_… it was painful. It was beautiful. It was drawing me out of the darkness.

In a flash I knelt beside her. Her eyes moved back and forth behind her still closed lids. Her face frowned. Her lips puckered. She was… _breathtaking_.

"_Erebos_…" She moaned. All at once I realized I was but a breath above her. She called to me. Though her blood had cooled and converted into the fluid that now pulsed through my body as well, she was still a magnetic pull to my forgotten core. My human soul mate—had I ever lived a life of a human with a soul.

Her lips quivered once more. My eyes knew no other sight than that delicate luscious flesh.

I felt my tongue trace along my own. I could hear her lungs draw in another small breath. Her lips parted to speak once more.

"Ere…" I silenced her with the contact of my lips over hers.

I was child. And I was man.

I was fear.

I was trust.

Life pulsed through our connected skin. I had never touched Lizzie before. I had fantasized it. I had entered her former husband's body and felt an echo of it. But I had denied my flesh this gift.

All at once I felt my immortal strength drain from me. I was a man. Human. Vulnerable. Weak.

My breath came in sharp pants. She whimpered and her lips followed mine as my body instinctively moved back. I imagined a pounding heart in my throat. I heard the whisper of the music that was her human blood. I opened my eyes to find her beauty… excruciating. She was more than an angel and as tempting as a vixen.

I felt my body grow hard with need for her- solid and pure with sin.

"Elizabeth…" I breathed. There was hardly sound even for a vampire's ears.

Her onyx eyes stared up at me. They held a light that put the golden orb in the sky above to shame. I felt as though the light from the corner of her eye could cast away every shadow from the dark pit of my body. I was alive for the first time since I was ripped from the womb of the female who birthed me.

But just as quickly as the light had spread within my mind at the sight of her open eyes, those eyes narrowed in to slits of midnight apprehension. A sharp growl burst from her feminine chest.

Instinct.

Survival.

Power.

Some lessons could never be unlearned. Before I was a man with a beating heart full of love for this and only this woman, I was a creature ruled by instinct. The venom that my body created dictated the new primal desires of this woman whom I had only caught a glimpse of in her mortal state.

Without warning she launched me off of her body—sending me miles into the air and away from her. I hit the ground on the balls of my feet—a lion unable to be ruffled in the face of an attack.

My own lethal growl slipped from my throat before my mind could hope to want to make sense of the scene.

She leapt to her feet and crouched in defense.

A very foreign part of my consciousness found it endearing for her to fight her own battle. But a louder more alien part screamed that she should never be foolish enough to put herself in danger like that—especially against something as uncontrollable as me. These new emotions flooded my every thought—becoming screams in my mind that pulled my body in every direction at once.

Both voices were silenced by the most feral of my being. The immortal god. The Father. The first. The venom.

The Master.

I matched her stance and spread my lips wide to bare my teeth.

Forgive me Lizzie.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Seth POV (during the battle)**

We were all just standing around. _Come on Jake! _I screamed in my mind. He ignored me, of course.

He was sharing a very real and determined stare with Momma Bella. _Damn_. This was it.

I turned to my big sister. She was still as stone. _How did she effing do it?_ Lee could keep her cool in a thunderstorm while wearing a suit made out of tin.

It was kind of hard to make out who the rest of the guys were at this point. Right now we all looked like we were wearing Halloween costumes. The best damn Halloween costumes ever! But I knew Leah because she the one who never left my side.

It was still just too awesome to me. All of my life the ancestors and our father told of this could be a part of our future someday. But to be standing here…

Lee hissed as vamps pulled each other apart down in front of us. I thought it was cool. But then the wind shifted. The smell was puke inducing.

There were eight scents that were familiar and almost alluring. Those must have been Momma Bella's family. Our family. But the rest… God. They stunk. I shook my nose back and forth hoping the smell would just fall out. But every time I inhaled it got worse. And then another scent mixed with it and I was nearly pulled out of my skin from it.

Wolves.

My eyes sought out the darker forms that moved with amazing precision on the field. These were the ancient wolves… the ones who we heard stories about. Somewhere down there was Jake's granddad. We should have felt some sort of pride or something to them right?

It was all I could do not to run down that hill and rip them to shreds. Jake commanded us to work with the other wolves. I would do that. But my nose was telling me not to trust them. Weird. Like I wanted to start peeing on all the trees so they knew this was our turf—not there's.

_It's on_. Jake said in our minds. _Hell yah!_ I thought.

_Focus Seth_. Lee scolded. I just rolled my eyes. I was just as much wolf as she. They weren't going to send me back to camp to wait for them to return. I hunched down like the rest of the pack. My eyes pierced the late afternoon scene to find my prey. There was a small blond boy heading toward a bronzed curly haired woman.

I growled. Something about that boy was calling me to fight. My wolf senses were telling me that he needed to die. He was standing in the way of something that belonged to me.

I was so lost in my now consuming need for his death that I flinched when the ice cold hand touched my neck. I assumed it was Momma Bella, but then her scent hit me and I realized that it was Alice. She smelled like the bad vamps—but she was cool so her stink grew on me.

_Seth_. Jake said in my mind as I turned to survey the pixie sized vampire girl. _Stay with Alice_.

My head tipped down against my will—an order_. DAMMIT JAKE_! I screamed in my mind and let out a whiny howl.

I heard Jake laugh across my mind and scowled as the others, including my sister, ran down the hill behind Jake and Momma Bella. They were all going to have fun. I sulked as Alice ran her fingers through the hair on my neck. It actually felt good but I was stubborn enough to not show her that.

"It's for the best Seth." She assured me. I huffed. We watched as the girl with bronze curly hair tore the head off the little blond boy—that pissed me off even more than sitting here. I wanted that kill. She struck a match and tossed it on him. I remembered what vamp venom did when struck by a lit match.

I yelped when Alice's fingers fisted in my hair. "Jasper." She whispered.

Suddenly she was ghosting down the hill without another word. I sat there stunned for a second. My orders were to stay with Alice. I looked to the right and left of me out of habit. Jake was knee deep in kicking a big bad vamp's butt with Momma Bella. I smirked as I jumped to my feet.

Alice was headed into the fray.

_My turn_.

I charged down the hill, just missing the vamp with the flaming blue eyes. Chunks of him sprayed all around the scene when he blew. _Cool_.

I had no real destination in mind. And yet I was following some pull. I jumped right and left to miss attacks. There were lots of big wolves—I mean huge guys. They stunk almost as bad as the bad vamps. Lee yelped to my right as she faced another of the vamps. I wanted to stop and help but my feet weren't letting go to her.

I barked as I saw the hulking form advance on her. She seemed to be giving to one of her front paws—_shit she's hurt_! I fought with my internal GPS but I was helpless to just watch. My mind was splitting in two inside my head. My sister was done for. That guy was huge and she was hurt… just then the vamp got close enough that Lee's teeth were just inches from his throat. She leapt on to both front paws and tore his throat out in one quick snap.

I was stunned. She was _playing_ hurt. I'd have to use that some time.

I finally refocused my attention on where I was going and found myself slamming on the brakes. Alice stood in the middle of the field—still as a stone. All around us were the sounds and sights of hell breaking loose. There were wolves howling in pain. And there were vamps going up in smoke.

I panted behind her. I had no way to ask her what was going on. Strangely enough my feet knew more than the rest of me because I no longer felt the need to blindly run. Now I just knew I had to stay put.

"Stay here Seth." Alice whispered. I growled. If I could help her I should. I made to follow her. "No Seth." Alice warned without looking back. I rolled my eyes. I would wait till she was a little bit further away—how would she know that I was following her?

"I can see the future kid." She called casually over her shoulder, again without looking back at me.

I growled at that too—disgruntled. I watched Alice like a freaking hawk. I couldn't move my head away from the direction she was moving in. My feet wanted to follow. But I felt Alice's words almost as strong as an Alpha's command—like a mother's rule that was not to be broken or something. I whimpered with the effort to see what was in front of her. All I could see was a blond guy—not extremely tall but well built. Something about him told me… I don't know. Like he knew a thing or two about ending wolves.

I didn't like the idea of Alice heading over to him alone. He had his back to her—but whatever was in front of him kept struggling enough to cause him to squirm around. Alice moved with the delicate grace of a tiny ballerina. I was kind of in a daze from the sight.

The hairs on my neck stood on end and I turned to find this evil looking blond bitch come running in Alice's direction. I freaked. I had to help her. I was torn—this new one smelled like Momma Bella. She was family. But I could tell she was no friend to the pint sized pixie that I was quickly beginning to love like a favorite aunt.

I charged the crazy lady's path. She wasn't fazed when I lunged at her. She caught my paw while I was still mid jump and twisted. Bones crunched I yelped. Alice was already there to defend me. She seized a hand around the blond's throat.

"Time to pay up bitch." Alice whispered menacingly. I fell back to the ground. Unlike Leah's trick I really couldn't put weight on my foot. I knew it would heal fast, probably be better by nightfall. But damn, that didn't make it hurt any less at the moment.

The blond kicked and screeched, thrashing arms and legs all around her. Another pretty lady stood beside Alice. She smelled like Momma Bella. She must be one of the doctor's kids.

"Take her Esme." The look on both Alice and Esme's face as the blond started cussing and shouting threats made me glad I was just some dumb kid. They were both out for this evil one's blood… or venom I suppose. I was in awe of both of them. There was something about a pissed of beautiful woman—they were like those traffic accidents you slow down to look at—you were afraid of them but you just couldn't look away.

_What's up kid_? Jake asked. I scanned the field to find him standing twenty feet away next to Momma Bella. I just nodded. I was fine.

Alice sighed and helped Esme drag their captive to an open clearing by a huge tree. Once they were there Esme shoved the blond down unceremoniously and sat on her. I chuckled. I was going to end up falling in love with all of these Cullen chicks.

Leah was helping the guys chase the rest of the baddies in to the trees. Alice gasped suddenly—a vacant expression in her eyes. "Shit." She said flatly and headed over to where Jake stood.

I shook my head. How did they all stand it? No one communicated anything out loud in this crazy family. I was always so lost. Once Alice moved I could see the guy she had been heading towards. He turned around with his struggling captive in his arms.

All at once the air around me was charged with energy. Like the influence of whatever force had pulled me to this spot only moments ago, my eyes were not allowed to blink. My breath was catching in my lungs and my mind went blank. It was a young girl. Blond. Young. Maybe only a year or so older than me. She was more beautiful than any of the others—even Momma Bella. And she was angry, spitting fire at the man who held her in an iron grasp. Her rage only made her more beautiful. She looked up and our eyes met.

I knew where I belonged.

I took one step towards her. _Seth_. Leah stepped between me and the girl. I growled, snapping my teeth inches from her fur. I was suddenly ready to rip my own sister's throat out for keeping me from that girl—my girl.

_What the hell's wrong with you_? The worry in Leah's voice broke me from the spell that had me turning in circles in my mind. I shook my head. What the hell was wrong with me?

I turned to face the rest of the pack. The Cullens were all standing in a circle talking. Jake and Sam, Jared and Paul all held down Blondie. And my girl was now sleeping on the ground next to the wolf killer. The wolf killer who was holding hands with Auntie Alice.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I was finally starting to understand what Jake was saying about this new life being a lot to process.

We moved a ways back to give the family space—keeping a watchful eye on the remaining ancient wolves that paced the perimeter of the scene. They just seemed a little too ready to break from their Alpha's command for my liking.

The tall guy with bronze hair stepped forward. He'd been standing closest to Momma Bella since the fight ended. I assumed he was her Edward. Immediately I was in worship of the guy. If Momma Bella was that much in awe of him… so I would be.

Leah rolled her eyes at me when she heard my thought. I just grinned with my wolf lips. I was positive _Daddy Ed_ would like me too. Jake chuckled from beside us.

We continued to watch in slice. Daddy Ed seemed to be working up some sort of ability to use on the harpy. It was weird. Momma Bella had shown us how her ability worked before but to see any of the vamps using their gifts in person was cool. Daddy Ed knelt down and put the blond to sleep… just as he had my girl. Then Momma Bella stepped forward and put her hands on the sleeping bitch's face.

I was antsy the whole time Momma Bella was touching her. I wasn't cool with anyone getting hurt—not Jake or Leah, or the guys or even Auntie Alice. But Momma Bella… I actually started to pace a little at the sight.

_Chill kid_. Jake warned. I nodded. She was strong. She had the rest of her vamp family around her.

She stepped back after a minute of holding the woman's head. She reached for Daddy Ed's hand but stopped and turned her head up towards us. I knew in that moment that Jake had warned her that we were all on edge… mostly just for her. She looked at all of us and then settled on looking me straight in the eyes. She smiled and winked.

I let out a huge sigh. I could all but feel Jake and Leah rolling their eyes at me. Whatever. I cared a helluva lot for that lady. Jake nudged my shoulder with his head.

Yah, yah- He loved her too.

The family stepped back into a semi circle around the blond—now tied to a tree with heavy chains.

_What's going on Jake? They're all just… standing there looking at her_. As we watched the woman's eyes were open but she seemed to see things that weren't there. She howled in pain like someone was doing something to her. I looked around—was there an invisible vampire I didn't see?

_It's Bella. _Jake said_. I can see it in her mind… they're… he cleared his throat and shook his head. Let's head back to the house. Get some clothes_.

I wanted to argue—had to stay and at least see my girl wake up.

_Now_. Jake said. My head snapped down. I huffed and followed him back to the house.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Lizzie POV **

He stood no more than fifty feet away from me. It was disorienting. I wasn't sure why. But it felt like… like I hadn't used my eyes and limps in forever. That had to be something he was doing to me. I had been fully in control of myself in my husband's castle.

I knew enough about our kind to know—there were those with gifts. Like Edward. Like Aro. Or even the twins. This evil creature in front of me must possess some ability to make me feel weak. I snarled at him as a warning. I was a fresh newborn. I could rip him to pieces.

I crouched into a defensive position. He… just stood there. It was disconcerting. For a moment I was swept up in a haze of panic. I had never had to defend myself before. I was a treasured princess of the Volturi tower. Maybe I was going about this all wrong. My fingers fanned out like claws. He… still just stood there.

I had the feeling that any other vampire just standing across a field from me would seem comical. But though he seemed to just stand and wait he… was probably the most terrifying sight I had ever seen.

He was shrouded in black—almost like darkness was not something that was cast by a lack of light but rather emanated from his body. His body was hidden beneath black clothes and a long black coat, but I was certain it would be lean and well built. He breathed power. His black hair was cropped short and that only enhanced the sharp edges of his face. It was a hauntingly beautiful face—it reminded me of Edward's. The way his lips almost pouted in concentration. And his nose anchored the sculpted cheeks. And his eyes… there were thousands of years of screeching pain singing from his eyes.

I was distracted by the sight. My head cocked to the side and for a second I was lost. I knew, to the core of my being, that I was born to eradicate that pain from those eyes. Pull his soul out of darkness in which it lay drowning and into the light.

His lips pulled back and he hissed through sharp pointy teeth. Should I have felt frightened? Perhaps the me of five minutes ago would have been. Some power settled over my mind to ensure me… he would never hurt me.

I took a step towards him. My body was no longer crouched in attack. I now walked talk and straight with the determination to touch him. With each step I took towards him, he stepped back from me.

He showed no signs of the same desire that I, but he had showed no true signs of a need to fight either. Something in the way he all but cowered from me now—not in a weak way but an almost fear of what me touching him would mean—it made me curious as to how long he had been alone. I could tell by the way his shoulders slouched and his brow furrowed that he was uncertain what to do in this situation. The poor dear. I wondered at the possibility that this creature had never known a need to share his inner self with anyone before. His outward appearance told me that all that he was was his and no one else's.

Well… I would be changing that all too soon.

If I could just get him to hold still…

**\/Darkside\/**

**Emmett POV (Cullen family meeting after the battle)**

I didn't look over at her. When we woke up… I wasn't near her. She was lying on the ground next to the Volturi bastards. I was with our family. My family. She wasn't going to have the right to claim them anymore.

The battle had not been enough to calm the rage inside of me. The release I used to feel in such play was gone. Something broke inside of me while I slept here. I clenched my jaw and balled my fists as I crossed my arms over my chest.

I trusted her. I loved her.

I still do.

_Hell_. Edward was watching me. He had that _Edward_ look on his face. _Yeah, what of it? _I threw at him mentally. Esme was getting off of her and heading over for the family meeting. I sighed—it was one of those to the toes of my soul sighs.

Bells squished in between the still annoyingly staring Edward and me. I didn't waste any time thinking about it—I just threw my arms around her and squeezed. It had been two months since I saw my baby sister. I was glad to see her alive.

"Em…" She rasped. "It's good to see you too…" I hugged a little tighter. There really was no use for air in our lungs anyway. She was smiling up at me with heavy eyes when I finally released her. I tried to smile back.

It felt forced. Damn. I hadn't had to force a smile in my entire vampire life.

My mind was spinning in two different circles. I knew what she did was wrong but I refused to give up on her. Rose could never see it in herself, but I knew she was worth saving. Hell, she the only reason that I smiled for the last seventy years.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Tennessee 1935**

You ever get that feeling that you're gonna die? I had that feeling this morning. Couldn't shake it the entire time I was getting ready. I laced my boots up and shook my head.

My brother slapped my back when I took too long to eat breakfast. It stunk being the youngest. Four older brothers, all bigger than sycamores and here I was little baby Em—the runt of the litter.

Pop was going to head over to the east side of the property. The bear killed two more people last night. And it was getting closer to town. Jack, my oldest brother, said there was a herd of deer taken down just after nightfall two days ago too. That wouldn't have been a bear on a rampage though—that was something else.

I felt a chill on my neck as I considered the "something else" and felt it in my stomach again. I hugged mom from behind and planted my signature kiss on her cheek.

"My little cub." She said just like she always did. I threatened to smack any and all of the idiots who snickered at the nickname. I couldn't help it that I was her favorite.

Jack and Luke would head up the east to cross over with Pop and then take the north. Evan and Pete would take the west and head south. I was supposed to stay close to home—protect the house and mom.

I could do that.

"Em, don't worry about killing it. If you see it fire a shot up and we'll know to come back." Luke said with his usual lack of patience. I bit down on my argument.

"Right." I said through tight lips.

"Don't do anything stupid little brother." Jack said putting me in a head lock. I tried, every move I knew too, but he was still the stronger one.

It was tough watching them all walk away. Mainly because that chill was permanently on my shoulders now. Somehow I knew that I would be sending that warning shot up in the air before night fell.

Dawn was just breaking as I made the circuit around the start of the trees. Mom was baking—I could smell the fresh crust that she was pulling out of the oven. Apple pie no doubt. My favorite.

I loaded the shotgun. I really never liked using the damn thing. I was more of a fists and feet kind of fighter. But I knew who would win that kind of a face off when a bear was involved.

I staid close to the clearing by the back of the house. There was no need to wander too far into the woods. It was quiet today. Real quiet. Not too many animals at all in the trees—like something scared them all off.

The hairs on my arm were tingling all of the sudden. There was… an energy building around me. I didn't even realize it until I saw the traces of it on the chilly morning air, but my breath was speeding at some unknown fear.

I guess the animals were right. There was something out here. Something… watching me.

I scanned the still dark trees, squinting when a patch of dawn light caught my eyes. Like one of the deer mauled two nights ago I could feel something closing in on me.

Hunting me.

It was irrational… stupid right? But I dropped the gun and took off into the woods. There was something on the breeze. A scent was starting to encompass my entire mind.

I ran further into the woods. There was a laugh in my mind now too. Feminine. Beautiful. My heart raced almost as fast as my legs crunching on the forest floor. I had a feeling that my escape was useless. Whatever was following me was probably faster and stronger than me—everything in my life always had been.

There was a clearing up ahead. The woods were still too dark for my eyes to really focus. I could see the grass and flowers that were dipped in golden sunlight. I aimed for that spot. At least I could get a look at whatever the hell was going to kill me.

I jumped into the center of the meadow, balling my fists and spinning around to fight my foe. My breath was heavy and for a second that was the only sound in the air.

Then an unnatural breeze picked up behind me. And the scent was suddenly stronger than ever. It was roses and afternoon sunshine, maybe even a hint of apple pie. I turned slowly, knowing that my fate was waiting for me.

There would never be words to describe her. I had read stories about angels. Seen pictures of what man's interpretation of beautiful women was. I had even seen women who stole your heart and made your body go insane. But… this was a goddess.

From her blond hair to her creamy skin that looked like tender silk. She was unbelievable. Her eyes were black with a hunger that I could feel growing inside of me. Like the tickle of death that had played along my spine I felt a heat for this woman.

She stood as still as the earth. And I felt calm. Something was so right about being with her. There was a slight smirk that tugged at the corners of her mouth. That made me smile- The kind of smile that showed my soul through my face. As my mom always said.

She seemed to like my smile. Because it distracted her as much as her sight distracted me, and neither of us heard the giant grizzly until I was already pinned under him and bleeding.

It's a funny thing. Dying. Your mind is thinking of everything and nothing all at once. And really all you can focus on is the pain. And then the fact that there is no more pain. And even when you're staring at the teeth of an impressively ferocious animal and you know he's going to just kill you, your body doesn't stop fighting. Your lungs keep trying to breath. And you arms keep trying to fight. And… your heart keeps beating…

I don't know how she did it. The bear was off of me almost as fast as it had jumped on me. I didn't have the shotgun. But I guessed there was no need for the warning anymore. The threat was dead—not even twitching like I was.

I was alone. No sounds in the now brighter rays of morning but the gurgling death that was my lungs filling with my own blood. My lungs continued to gasp—I could taste the copper of blood in my mouth. I couldn't move—my mind was in shock.

All I could think was that I just wanted to see my angel… one last time.

"He's over here." I heard a female voice say. It was like I could hear my heartbeats in my mind. First they were rapid and so loud that I wanted to scream. But now… they were slowing, just like my lungs.

"Rose… you'll probably want…" A blond man knelt over me as he spoke. He was almost as pretty as my goddess. He had golden eyes. But they weren't looking at me.

I turned my head to see who he was talking to. Seconds before I drew in my last breath I saw her.

The sunlight touched her flesh, casting her entire body in incandescent sparkles. She seemed to glow from within—and though her eyes were still midnight black, I could see a warmth in them that matched the sun.

She was worried… about me. She didn't even know me. But she wanted to save my life.

I fell in love with her right then and there.

Typical. I thought. I wait till the second I die to find the girl of my dreams and fall in love.

Damn.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(present day Cullen family circle)**

We were all fuming but no one was saying a damn thing.

"You want her dead." It was a statement. Not a question. Not an accusation.

"She can't be trusted." Bella offered. I nodded in agreement. I was looking down at the dirt while we talked. I didn't want to look at any of them either.

I didn't remember much about my human life. I just remember the frustration of being little. Not grown up like everyone else. I stood here right now realizing that I had been fooling myself for almost a century now. I thought because I was bigger and tougher than everyone else in my new family that I was no longer the little kid. I had a wife and could come and go as I pleased. There was no way that I was still the little cub hiding behind his momma's coat tails.

But I was wrong.

I always thought that Rose was responsible for me growing up. And she was—it just wasn't the moment that I originally thought.

It was right now. I grew up the second she told me she would kill every one of us to have the chance to change her life—our life. I stopped being a kid at the mention of how expendable we all were to her life. How every tender moment between us had meant practically nothing to her.

I had a damn pressing rage that was building over that. It was an anger that scared me. Like something that I hadn't even realized I have been holding on to for too long.

But then there was that numb feeling spreading through all of us like morphine after a brutal surgery. Jasper. He was watching over all of us at once. Making sure we made rational decisions right now, instead of going with a twisted gut, snap judgment. The guy really was quite the general at heart.

Edward's voice pulled me back to the conversation. "We can't kill her." I looked up to his eyes then. Damn, I forgot how terrifying Edward could get when he was pissed. I wondered if Bella knew how bad he could be.

He narrowed his eyes at my thoughts. I wasn't going to apologize for that truth anymore. "Why not?" I said in an empty voice. I was hollow inside and out now it seemed.

"Because it's what she wants. She wanted to die a human more than _anything_." He stressed the anything by looking at the one thing that I had hoped was most important in her life—me. "But in the end it would be the easy road for us to give her what she wants… I …" He looked down at Bella. Right so now he was going to have to admit what I was thinking was true. Then he looked up at me.

I scowled as he continued. "I would prefer we chain her up and let her rot. I'd even be willing to guard her and make sure she never moves." I really expected Bella to have some adverse reaction to his plan. But like everything else in my life right now, she didn't do what I expected.

"I agree." She said in a timid voice. She was afraid of me. Dammit. I didn't want that.

"No worries Bells." I offered. I put an arm over her tiny shoulders and she hugged her arm around my back. "She earned it." I whispered.

I went back to watching the dirt.

"In all other cases I would not condone such behavior… but…" I looked at my father. Carlisle was the greatest guy I knew. Truest heart. Strongest will. I don't believe I respected my human father half as much as I did this man. I didn't know what he suffered in the dream Volterra, but if he was okay with us doing this to Rose… hell it just made that scary darkness in me build all the more.

I looked at Esme. She was only looking at Carlisle. Her face told me another truth. She wouldn't condone Rose being tortured. She wanted her dead—but she also didn't want harm to come to her.

"Esme?" I asked.

She hung her head for a moment and when she looked up at me I would have sworn there were tears in her eyes. "She's my daughter as much as she is your wife Emmett. I don't want to believe she is… unreachable."

I swallowed hard.

Alice was being real quiet. I looked at the squirt. She was eyeing dirt just like me. "What are we going do about it Alice?" There would have been a time that I asked that in a joking way. I wondered right now if I would ever joke again.

"I don't know…" She breathed. "I see… I…" She looked to Edward. He was doing that staring at nothing but really seeing what was in her head crap.

"How can they both be so clear? How can both of those…"

"Be real?" Alice offered. She and Edward looked at the six million dollar woman in the bunch. Bella glanced around the circle with wide eyes.

"I can't… I _won't_. You all could have been hurt today because I… I don't know what I'm doing. I can't trust that anything I do will turn out the way we want it to."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I see two things happening. First I see us confronting her…" She looked up at Esme. "Torturing her. That future ends in her death. Erebos arrives and she… disintegrates." That rage that Jazz was keeping barely contained was making me see red. It was one thing to contemplate her destruction in theory—and a whole hell of a different story to know that Alice saw her dying.

I'd rip them all to shreds before I'd let that happen. Nobody touches my baby.

"Exactly." Edward mumbled quietly. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

Alice finished. "The next part I see is the strange one—I see you here all alone with her Emmett. She is very much alive."

"Well damn."

**\/Darkside\/**

It was decided. We all told Bella what words we would say and how we wanted to confront her in our own way. Carlisle's method was kind of bitchin'. If it were used on anyone but the woman I loved I might even tell him so. As it was… I was just glad I wouldn't be seeing him actually do it to her.

Esme had nothing she could offer as punishment. She took no satisfaction out of hurting anyone—especially in response to being hurt her self. She asked only that Bella show how disappointed she was in her daughter. To relate to Rose what hope lie in wait in her vampire mother.

I was glad I couldn't cry then. I knew I would only end up having to hide when Ez put her hand on my arm and told me everything would be okay.

We stood around the tree. Damn. Rose didn't even look at me. She just went crazy. She snarled and bit… but she was still a freaking goddess in my eyes. My soul was suddenly so tired that I was ready to collapse.

Edward approached her first. He made her sleep. Bella would erase that part. Make Rose believe that we were dealing out her trial and punishment right now.

"Do we have any idea what will happen? I mean…" Alice looked around at us as she spoke. I wanted to laugh—the psychic was asking us if we knew what would happen. "We don't know what happens when someone dies in this mind thing do we? What… what if Rose wakes up… not being Rose?"

Edward rolled his eyes and looked about ready to knock Alice's head off her tiny shoulders. "Woman's got a point bro." I said.

"I can't do this… I knew… I'm just glad you thought of that before I did this Alice…" Bella started stuttering.

"It's the only way." Jasper offered. "None of us has the stomach to truly do this to her. We…" He looked down at Alice and swallowed hard against his own internal battle that none of us but Edward and Alice knew about.

"None of us is pure of sin. We've all done bad things. Maybe not directly to this family, but that doesn't mean it won't affect this unit eventually. She needs to be both torn down and rebuilt." There was a look in his eyes when he said that—like he was talking about more than just Rose. He was clearly also talking about himself, but more and more as I stood here I got the feeling that he was talking about all of us.

Maybe even the whole Cullen family concept. We needed to stop thinking of our selves as cured for making the small sacrifices we did by not killing humans. The world was made up of more than what you ate.

"It's alright love." Edward said cupping his hands around Bella's worried cheeks. Had I ever been able to be so gentle with Rose? I'm pretty damn sure the answer would be no.

Bella leaned forward and took Rose's face in her tender touch. It was funny… Rose never let Bella touch her. She hated even the idea of Bella's existence. And yet here was my little sister, showing Rose that even if she pushed her away she would treat her with respect.

I sighed down to my toes again. Maybe it would be a good thing for Rose to wake up different. Obviously there were demons in her that she could not expel on her own.

Rose acted out the one sided torture that we had cooked up for her. It was tough to watch. Almost worse than just doing it. At least when you were physically hurting someone your mind was focused on that—there was no time for thinking about it. Now we could all see what our words and actions were doing to her.

And it was driving me crazy. She let out an evil laugh, "why not Emmett?" She howled. I growled with the need to punch for real. Then I nearly collapsed when she flinched back from the force of my mental punch.

Damn. She shook in fright when the make believe Erebos slithered into her mind. And then all at once she was still. Like a sleeping child or something.

"It's done." Bella whispered. She walked straight over to me. Her arms were such tiny, feathery things around my middle. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I hugged her back out of instinct and I didn't notice when they all left. The wolves were back at the house and the family was on the road heading to South America to regroup.

I fell on to my knees as I watched her sleeping.

I never got to see her sleep. I never thought about what it looked like. So much of my human life was ignored in my memory. It was fascinating to see her sleep.

I'd known Rose for seventy four years. I'd never seen a moment of peace on her face. But there it was. She was so serene as she slept.

She never moved. Night fell. I just sat there—watching her.

Then I remembered what Alice had said. What Bella had feared.

"Ah hell." I mumbled.

I crawled over to her. "I'm sorry baby…" I pleaded. "I didn't think."

I broke the chains in one quick flick of my wrist. Her body sagged into my arms. She wasn't breathing but then we didn't need to breathe to survive.

"Rose? Baby can you hear me? Rose?" I shook her gently—so gently. I felt like she was some fragile human that I would break if I was too rough. My mind was starting to go wild after a few minutes.

There was no response. No matter how loud I screamed or how much I shook her—nothing. My mouth fell open and tearless sobs were wrenching from my chest.

I had never given a crap about crying. I'd never lost anything that hurt this much. My entire body locked down and shook. I clutched her tight to my chest—plunging my nose into her roses and sunshine and hints of apple pie.

My heart broke—more so than it had when she admitted her betrayal. She might have betrayed some stupid trust but she never betrayed this.

We were in love. I loved her. And now I killed her.

I sat like that for what felt like hours. The night air was filled with my bellows of pain.

Torment. Hell. Rage.

I ended up lying her down on the cold hard dirt. I lay next to her—in agony.

What had I done? I should have killed them all. I should have built a life for just her and me, long ago. I… I should have just died all those years ago in the meadow—just gave Rose my blood and ended it there.

"Forgive me baby." I whispered against her cheek. My lips worked softly from her right ear to the corner of her mouth. I drew in one last ragged breath as my lips covered hers.

"I love you."

I froze. Her eyes were open. And her lips were still parted from her declaration.


	28. Chapter 28: What's real

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

How do we trust? Why do we need to know truth? If something has never been more than dream… can it still be the realest reality in your world?

And how the hell can a vampire be pregnant?

**Answer**:

Chapter 28: Why would you doubt this or What's real

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (on the road one day after the battle)**

We stopped for a hunt ten hours after we got on the road. I called the phone I had left with Jacob and got Leah.

"How are you?" Her voice was strained with a true worry. It seemed I was to be bombarded with children who considered me their mother today.

I smiled. "I'm fine. We're heading down to a place that's secluded. We'll be in South America. Alice says it's breaking her heart to admit this, but you should still head to La Push. Apparently the locale is tight and there will be a few vamps that are… not wolf-compatible."

I could hear in her brief silence that she wasn't pleased about that. "Okay. I'll let Jake know." She mumbled.

"Where _is_ Jacob?" I tried to ignore the fact that Edward tensed beside me at the mention of my alpha. "Can I talk to him?"

There was another moment of silence. "Um… no. He's... still back in Chicago... with…"

"Renesmee." I whispered. Like a cloud pulled suddenly back by a swift wind I could see it—seem them. How could I know her memories like I did my family? When had I ever shared such a bond with her? I could see Jacob holding a small child with her big brown eyes and bronze curly hair. The love and devotion from the image was breathtaking. Something about the two of them together made me clasp my hand over my swollen stomach. It also put me at ease. Like Edward beside me or Alice in Jasper's embrace, Jacob seemed to belong with this newest Cullen member.

"My love?" Edward said suddenly directly behind me with his own hand over mine. And an intense worry in his voice.

I sighed. "Thanks Leah. Look out for the boys and I'll call you when I can." I hung up the phone and relaxed in to Edward's embrace. He drew his other arm around me—tucking my head under his chin.

It was a perfect moment. It felt so right… and yet it felt very… new.

"Jacob?" Edward said softly. I swallowed—hard.

I rolled my eyes and tried to think of a way to explain Jacob to Edward. I wasn't certain that the bond between Alpha and Leader could be defined. It was not simple enough to say we were joined. Nor was it a strong enough bond to claim soul mates—that was where Edward and I were bonded. But… I would do my best to explain it to my mate.

I took a deep breath and turned slowly to face the truth. I expected hurt in his eyes. I anticipated a hard set to his features. I started when my eyes found him relaxed and… smiling.

"Edward? I…"

His smile widened. "He's a fine young man." He smirked as my mouth popped open in shock. He turned his face at the cry of a wolf in the distance. "He has a very true heart." He was looking off in to nothingness as he spoke. I knew he was walking through his memories of the battle. I could almost taste them on the end of my gift.

"Really?" I said with a cocked brow. I honestly thought there would be more to it on Edward's end. He struck me as a jealous type—he hated sharing me with Alice. To know that Jacob had not only been able to spend the last two months with me, when Edward had been lost in his mind in Chicago, but to know that Jacob could read my thoughts and know me on an intimate level that even Edward could not… I was simply shocked at his behavior.

Edward leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. "If he wasn't…" He smoothed the hair back from the side of my face and tucked it behind my ear. Then trailing his finger to my lips said, "I would rip his throat out." He smiled again—though this time it was admittedly a little scary. Dark. Threatening. The majority of my mind really liked that darker side of Edward.

He moved in to me—eyes blacker than midnight and a low rumbling in his chest. The possessiveness within him was rolling on to me in waves—increasing my own claim over him.

_Oh yes_. My body needed this. Already my heightened awareness of his consciousness was yearning to pull him back into us. There was more than just a gaping hole inside me where his soul once stood—there was an emptiness that was making me feel as though I was dying. The ache was soothed by the growth of our children within, but I needed Edward in here too.

I eased back in his embrace, arching my neck and trusting that his hands would not let me fall. They didn't. My exposed flesh was more than an invitation for his kiss, it was a symbol of both my submission to his dominance and a reminder that only I could grant him this gift.

He ran his nose along the column of my throat—inhaling that which belonged only to him. A flash burn spread across my entire body—centering on the areas where he touched me.

This was real.

"Bella..." he breathed against my skin. I shivered from the vibration of his voice.

My hands fisted in his hair. He hissed his pleasurable pain. His lips moved up my throat slowly—slower than a human taking their time. His sharp teeth and smooth soft lips played in tandem up the flesh before him—planting sweet kisses that chased stinging nips.

I gave a growl of my own at the sensations that he was causing in me. By the time his lips were on mine I was a wild creature once more. Never again a human. Totally and completely changed for this marvelous beast in my arms.

His lips descended upon mine—just a whisper of mixed warmth and mingled scents. Then all at once we stopped, distracted by a more immediate desire. Both of our heads snapped to the right as the wind shifted.

Mountain lions. A male and his mate.

"Breakfast," I whispered. He smiled and released all but one of my hands as we flew down the hill toward the stalking couple.

**\/Darkside\/**

**CPOV (same time a few miles up the road.)**

Esme sat beside me in silence. It was not the kind of silence that made me uncomfortable. She smiled sweetly as she watched the ever-changing landscape fly past our windows. There was no real need for words. Her hand rested on my thigh and my hand rested on top of it.

She would rub her thumb gently against my knuckles when she felt me tense over the thoughts I was lost in.

I sighed. I would believe myself worthy of many things in this world- believe that I had earned some right to the happiness that surrounded my life. But what I did to ever deserve this woman to be with me forever... I would never know.

"What is it my darling?" She withdrew her hand and moved to caress the hair on the back of my neck. I felt my entire body relax at her touch. Against the troubles that were plaguing me, I smiled.

"Nothing that I can't work through." Her hand stopped and I turned to her. Instantly I realized my mistake. "_We_. Nothing that _we_ can't work through." She smiled and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

I sighed in to her touch. I was lost in her eyes for very long moment. Thank God I was a vampire- I had this road memorized. Of course I did, it led straight to one of my favorite gifts for my wife.

"Are you sure it is the best idea? Heading down to the island might be unwise considering the fact that it would limit our mobility." She warned. My wife had a heart of gold- and mind for defense.

I smiled- finally ready to ease into teasing her again. "Not ready to share?... You know the kids think that I made the island up. Well... all of them but Alice and Edward that is."

She lightly slapped my shoulder and made a mockingly shocked face. "I would never!" She gave me a sly smile and then rested her head on my shoulder. "Besides… you know the place on the island that is our private domain. And only we have access to that."

I sighed once more.

"Carlisle?" I softly kissed the top of her head—drawing in that scent that made my world calm.

"Hmm…" I answered.

"What did you see when we there?" Her voice was no more than a whisper. But the pain was evident in it. Instantly my body not only tensed but was flared with an anger so intense that the car swerved.

I could see it all again—as if we were still there. The darkness. The numbing sensation of waking death that was the echo of Alec's gift. And then… the silent screams… my sweet wife… torn apart.

I snarled so ferociously that the frame of the car shook. My eyes saw nothing but red—red soaking the image of that bastard pulling her arm from her body. Crimson stains upon the sight of an empty cell and the fear that she had been truly destroyed. Scarlet—almost purple liquid running down my hands as I fed.

An animalistic growl rumbled from my chest. Silent was the kind doctor—this was the monster. Bred in the alleyway of Volterra. Unleashed upon the fresh promise of the innocent lives led into his room each night.

Monster.

Animal.

My swinging mood should have been terrifying, but Esme didn't question it. She knew that we probably shared the same experiences—she had seen the state I was in when they tortured her in front of me. She had witnessed the savage animal unleashed in the great hall.

Was that only yesterday?

I glared out the driver's side window. Then I slammed on the brakes.

Through lips that were once filled with compassionate wisdom, my dark voice threatened, "Let's hunt."

I let her lead the way. I loved to watch my wife hunt. More importantly… the beast liked to watch her hunt. It was a corruption of purity… and he thrived on that. Esme was the most humane of all of us. In truth she was the only one of us who never tasted a drop of human blood. The monster wanted to tease the temptation upon her. He knew ways… ways to corrupt her very soul.

And he knew that eventually she would follow. She belonged to this creature that was now controlled by this lust for blood. For death. Eventually she could be tempted and turned as well.

We found a massive grizzly bear not five minutes on the prowl. I fell back to indicate which direction to go in. Instinctively we moved as one. She was the lithe bait. I was the brute force for the kill. The beast was down in seconds and we fed together from the one creature.

In the good doctor's mind it was simple. There was no need for much more blood than what he would offer us. Over the decades she had come flex her diet to match my own. We didn't need that much blood to survive. This meal would last us for a good two to three weeks.

She finished first—the typical mother, granting those she took care of the larger portion. In truth I would have stepped back and insisted she take more in my stead on any other occasion. But I… no the monster was ravenous.

I could feel it… as the blood touched my tongue and fueled my mind… there were two minds now working against each other inside my body. One of man… one of carnal desire.

In all honesty I was proud of Bella and what she had accomplished in Chicago. It was far from a failure—if nothing else it was a message. One that told Aro we were more than just a rumored threat. We were a family able to fight. But she had reawakened something in me that I wished to keep silent.

I drank like… the animal. Allowing blood to flow down my chin unchecked. I moaned at the satisfying soothing that the sticky liquid offered to my burning throat and barley tamed the desire to find a more suitable source to sooth the ache further.

I tore into the bear's flesh with my hands and exposed more of his innards. I licked the blood dry from every meaty surface I could unearth. Lust thicker than the juices I craved coursed through me. Though one hunger was satiated… my eyes still bled black.

It was intoxicating… naively sensual. She just sat there… and watched. When I was finished feeding… the Carlisle that would have been ashamed to meet her eyes after such a show was asleep and the Carlisle who had witnessed true hell in the real Volterra stalked a new prey.

I wanted her. Like I had never wanted her before.

Esme was my mate—but so much more than that she was my partner. There was none I loved more, respected more or cared for more than she. And through that bond that we forged together I found those qualities could be shared with my family, because she did love them all that way.

But what was throbbing through my body right now was not the kind and loving mate of Esme Cullen—it was the animal that desired her. I had to posses her. Had to claim her—even if it was only to lay claim over her against that other part of me. To have the weaker Carlisle see that she truly wanted me—craved me over the quiet existence with him.

I launched myself at her with no warning torn from my body but the animalistic force of my grip on her arms when I caught her.

To no surprise to the beast she did not flinch or even act shocked—she responded in kind.

That's my girl.

Carnal snarls tore through the peaceful afternoon air. And our primal dance felt almost painful in the intensity of our pleasure. Every touch was searing as our bodies joined instinctively.

It had never been like this between us. Esme had always been worshiped and delicately made love to. Admittedly we were not average humans with limitations—our form of gentle lovemaking was probably far more aggressive than a normal human's. But this… this was too animals partly ripping at each other's throats and partly crashing together like waves on cliffs during an ocean storm.

The beast closed my eyes—he couldn't look into hers and keep up his dominance of my mind. She was the key. The key to undoing his evil. She was so much the other end of the rays of light that kissed the surface of the world. This animal inside me was pure darkness… while she was light so bright she cast away all shadows.

"Carlisle," she moaned. The beast growled and moved my lips to the sweet flesh of her throat. He burrowed my face into the crook of her neck. She was sweetness—orange blossoms and spring flowers.

Her tiny hands began to work against the monster. Tiny touches. Small caresses.

All at once… he stopped.

I collapsed upon her—spent and shivering. I wasn't cold. I wasn't even tired really. But my body shook as if it were in shock.

"Esme…" I whispered. She clutched me to her. I was enraged with my own inadequacies. It should be I comforting her. My wife had suffered the worst out of all of us. But it was because Aro knew it would hurt us the most—not physically tearing us apart. Pain was something that each of us had lived through. But to see the one innocent thing left in our lives destroyed… that hurt. That made these immortals bones feel pain once again.

It stung. It… there were no words left. Her hands never ceased their ministrations on my back—my scalp. The nape of my neck. In less time than it felt like, I was eased and sighing into her supple body.

I drew in a deep steadying breath—kissing the base of her throat.

"Thank you my love." I whispered. I put my ear over her silent heart. It may no longer pump as a human's did but I had heard the sound of its pulse before she was changed all those years ago. I could hear it still.

Like the echo of the pain that still shook my body in random waves as we lay there—the distant memory of her heart's murmur was like a symphony to my ears.

I closed my eyes and followed the sound back to my reality.

Back to my control.

The monster was silenced and locked back away. This one lapse was harmless… luckily no humans were near enough to tempt his desires further. It had been a blackness I had not wanted to force upon my dear wife… but she was tough enough to handle it.

She kissed the top of my head—never once demanding an explanation. Never once trying to scold me for the lethalness of my mood swings. She caressed and soothed and bathed me in her love.

My rock. My key. My Esme.

"Let's go." I said clenching my jaw against the weight of what still lay ahead of us.

When I stood, I reached down for her. She smiled softly and took my hand. Amazing as she was I couldn't help but wonder why it never once bothered her to see the monster inside of me. We dressed in silence.

I couldn't meet her eyes as we got back into the car. I pulled back out on the highway—and she replaced her hand on my leg as it had been before the interlude from hell.

I placed mine back on its spot above hers.

Home once more.

**\/Darkside\/**

**JPOV (further south than Esme and Carlisle the same moment.)**

"Well..." the pixie of my dreams said rubbing her hands together. "She _seems_ to still be asleep. But I still don't trust her."

I chuckled. Alice could never just accept a truth until she saw the fact in her future. I could not begrudge her this trait. I could never trust a person's words until I could feel their emotions.

How trapped we were by these enhanced curses we walked with.

"Jasper?" Alice said sitting across my lap. I closed my eyes and hummed at the sensations rolling off her. There was the usual fear and uncertainty that came with moments like this for her... but that was a faint trace that was easily ignored. What I truly felt from her was love. Acceptance. Desire.

Without a single word I launched us both from the stump that I had rested on and we sprang in to the hunt.

I never liked hunting with anyone... except Alice.

Vampires were raw, savage beasts. There was never a creature to compare us to. Sharks hunted by smell of blood. Insects drank blood. Mammals were considered dead once their bodies stopped producing blood.

But we were other. We craved- hungered- thirsted for one and only one thing. Our bodies ran on a substance that was completely unique. And it could only be sustain with one thing.

The truest most inescapable fact in our lives- blood.

Alice split a mile into the hunt to follow the path of a pair of elks. I stayed my course- bear.

I pulled up short when I found Carlisle and Esme mid kill. Then I threw myself in the opposite direction as Carlisle's essence robbed me of all traces of humanity… and control.

It was no secret that I was the Cullen with the least amount of restraint when it came to the enforced vegetarian lifestyle. Bella didn't count—she was still too young to appreciate the choice. And… well she battled more than one psyche and its desire.

But I had lived the longest out of all of us… two millennia of feasting on humans like they were no different than that creature that Carlisle ravaged for every last drop of sanguine sap.

But even with that longest, oldest habit in place I could fight it. I could repress it… if I didn't have to feel it.

Every vampire thirsted for blood. Every vampire went absolutely mad when they smelled human blood. Hungry or not. Famished or not. Human blood made you go carnal.

Alice was the only other soul that really understood that more than just my fight against my own will when the temptation was presented before me… I had to fight against all of theirs as well.

Seven minds that locked down with discipline. Seven hearts that felt guilt and shame… and fear as their tongues wished to moisten their lips in anticipation. Seven thirsts that made my body turn inside out with desire.

It was like that for everything. Seven minds of sex. Seven minds of happiness. Seven minds of sadness.

Edward's struggle was closest to mine. But he could deny a thought that was never mentioned in a mind around him. If Carlisle was lusting for Esme but not thinking about it… only I felt the mirrored response. Edward would only learn of the desire through my thoughts and reactions… which I of course could control around him to shield him from the overwhelming amount of times our family members felt things.

As the family unified more and more with each passing year it became less and less easy for me to separate myself from them—to distinguish my true desires. My own heart and my own will.

And then it just got completely and perfectly simple. Alice. Alice was more than a rock. Alice more than controlled force of nature. I never wanted to be happy if she wasn't. I never wanted to hunt unless she too was thirsty. I could shove all of them out—force out six other voices and just feel this… Alice.

My time with her had been but a drop in the bucket of the ocean of my life. But she had altered my very reality. When we were… trapped in that world of hell for the last two months…

I fell to my knees once I found her. She was just finishing the last of the three elk that she brought down. She straightened up over the massive beast and tilted her head as she surveyed me.

"I didn't see you coming." She hissed.

I was out of breath from the exertion of shoving Carlisle's bestial exploration from my body. So as I drew in deep breaths to calm my lungs, I regarded her with an equal look of confusion.

"So?" I wheezed.

She huffed and stomped over to me. That made me smile. Alice was so tiny—but her emotions were bigger than Emmett's. I hissed remembering the residual emotive connection with Emmett just before we left him.

Cast in pain once more I closed my eyes.

Alice sighed. "That blond bitch has something to do with it Jazz. I know it." I chuckled. Alice was jealous. She couldn't hide it. I felt her indignation dancing around the emotion but that was only because she knew that I knew she was not worried at all. She was just flat out green with envy.

I kept my eyes closed but snaked my hands around her waist and pulled her to me. She gasped. Didn't see that either I suppose… I smiled.

"Are you losing your…" I ran my hands under her shirt—skimming her cool smooth flesh with my fingertips lightly. "Gift?" My eyes were still closed but in the twinge of desire I felt flow from her I imagined a human blush on her cheeks.

She would have looked so beautiful with a blush on her cheeks.

"Jasper…" I leaned forward and pressed my nose against her chest. Breathing in my life-force from her.

"Jasper… look at me." I followed her command. Her body was casting rays of calm that left me powerless for anything but obedience to her desires.

I looked up into her eyes. Then I froze. I was shocked to find… fear in them.

All at once Alice jumped back from me… for a blindingly devastating breath I thought she was afraid of me… no I knew she was. I felt it. I saw that her eyes were clear and focused…and they were focused on me.

"SHE'S GONE!" She snarled and took off through the woods in the direction of the car.

I sighed. Life with psychics and empaths and… whatever Bella was… were just never peaceful.

I knew that she meant Jane… my sister. I locked down on the sensation that truth stirred in me. I hadn't had time to analyze it. Hadn't had time to really face my own hidden past. I had lived blissfully ignorant of it for two thousand years.

And I refused to explore it right now. I would have faced Jane… if she had stuck around and not… followed my instructions.

Alice was standing by the car when I got there—I'll admit I took my time. I wasn't in a hurry to be scolded.

"Why Jasper?" She said crossing her arms in front of her chest like I was a two year old. I smirked. I couldn't help it—I liked feeling the spike in her mood when she was… infuriated by me. Alice had the best damn emotions—intoxicating ecstasy. I took a hit and crossed my own arms over my chest.

"What does your diary say?" She stuck out her tongue. And I threw my head back and laughed.

"It _SAYS_ I was hoping my husband would overcome his… his…" She fumbled for the word and I was practically giddy with her frustration.

"ARH!" She swatted my arm and I pretended to duck. "I understand Jasper. I do…" She pouted and turned to look down the road. Esme and Carlisle were back on the road—I could feel their moods moving further away toward the south.

"Alice…" I walked up behind her snaked my arms around her waist. I nuzzled her neck—playful and yet I sent her a shot of my inner turmoil.

She shivered from the effects of both. "I can't. I can't face all of that on that tiny island with… everyone. There is you feeling the weight of what is to come… and Carlisle trying to deny some inner beast… Esme trying to pretend she didn't want to rip Rose's head off… and don't even ask me what will happen when Edward and Bella get there… hell Bella's pregnant. Hormones a la venom… no thanks Alice."

She bit her lip but said nothing… with her mouth. Her body told me she knew this. Maybe even told me I made the right choice to send Jane away… that had I not my fears would have proven me right.

She eased back into my embrace. "I just need you… trust me Jasper."

I started at her words. I had never trusted anything but Alice. Even the Mother. I had always just followed but never trusted—Alice was the only thing in my world that I could live by.

She turned in my arms to face me. She placed a hand on my chest over my silent heart. "Please."

I nodded mutely and leaned in to seal my promise.

She gasped and pulled away. Her eyes were distant and her breath came in sharp rapid pants. A vision.

"What is it honey?" I drawled.

She shook her head when it was over. Then she buried her emotions under her worry for me. Talk about trust.

"Let's go." Was all she said.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Aro POV (Rome same day)**

My scarlet eyes pierced the darkness in the darkened hall.

My children returned to our shore with a message. I already knew what it would be. I knew all those years ago- centuries ago, that this would be but the next phase in our new evolution.

Bella.

Beautiful.

How apt that her very name describe the beauty that she held within her. I had thought the human girl intriguing and the first changed version of her enchanting- but this... THIS was something worth celebrating.

I should have been sad to lose all that I had. I would mourn the loss of Jane and Alec- they were truly lethal partners in terror. And Chelsea. It would be a stretch for young Marie to use her powers of persuasion so soon. And I did not want to push any of the newborns before their abilities could be cultivated properly.

Would I mourn my brothers?

No.

"I have scouted the ruins Master." Sebastian said from behind me. I smiled.

"Excellent my son. Tell your sisters to join us there tonight."

"Sebastian?" The boy with jet black hair turned. His brilliant blue eyes shown with an ambition I wanted so desperately to retain.

"Yes Master?" Eager- Excellent.

"What are your brothers up to?" His smile was far more devilish than mine.

"No good." He promised.

Excellent.


	29. Chapter 29: Birth

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

War… what is it good for? What do we fight? What has this all been about?

"Battle not with monsters lest you become one." Friedrich Nietzsche

"Take the first step, and your mind will mobilize all its forces to your aid. But the first essential is that you begin. Once the battle is started, all that is within and without you will come to your assistance." Robert Collier

"The hardest battle you're ever going to fight is the battle to be just _**you**_." Leo F. Buscaquila

**Answer**:

Chapter 29: Coming out of the darkness or Birth

**\/Darkside\/**

**Ren… no Nessie… no Ren… no Nessie…REN POV (one month later La Push)**

I sat on the fallen log and watched the waves lap against the sand. Everything was hazy—dark skies and misty ocean currents.

I sighed. Washington was always in a constant state of stormy weather. Forks ate up the darkest of the gloom—offering only short bursts of illuminated afternoons before harsh drops fell from the skies once more and drove humans back into their shelters.

All other creatures did not seek out this temperament of nature. All other creatures needed a balance of sun and storm to thrive. Equal parts rays of hope and shadows of turmoil.

I kicked a shell that was wedged between the wood and sand and blew a weary breath through my nostrils. It had been a month.

Twenty eight days.

And I still felt trapped. I felt like I was still in that room… still in that tower. Shivering and alone.

So alone.

I could feel him miles away before I could hear him and his scent drifted to me before the sound of his approach. But I made no move to acknowledge his arrival. He considered this _sulking_… maybe it was. But I had earned it. He didn't know what it was like to see me die. I knew what it was like to see him dead—see his head torn from his body.

Aro made damn sure I remembered that.

He perched on the opposite end of the log. No sound—to human ears. I could hear the woosh of the air as he glided through it. He balanced on the balls of his feet.

I went back to watching the sea. Way out in the distance, too far for normal people to see, rain began to fall.

"Bella called." He finally broke the silence. It almost made me smile. Almost. I didn't like the subject matter. The word Bella brought up a thousand tiny images of a life that no one else lived.

I just sighed.

I could all but feel his eyes roll. "Seriously you're gonna be like that." It wasn't a question. It was an astute observation. And it was said with venom in his voice. Only because I had sulked like this since two nights ago… when we almost…

"JAKE!" Seth was screaming from the forest edge.

"Damn kid… always cramping my…" he mumbled under his breath. That made me smile. Against my will.

I chanced a peek, hoping to find him too caught up in his annoyance with Seth to be looking. Never assume anything with Jacob Black. He sprang forward, landing on the all fours perfectly balanced on the log once more—only this time it was only a matter of inches from my side.

I could feel his hot breath on my cheek and only when I rolled my eyes did I finally make contact with his.

"I love it when you smile." He said simply.

Some deep place inside of me cramped up as he said it. My gut squeezed like zombie butterflies were ravaging it from the inside. And my bottom lip automatically sucked in between my teeth.

His proximity was making it impossible for me to hold on to my previous depressed state. He was feeling playful. He was… wanting to pick up where we left off the other night.

I told my body to resist. My brain was screaming—"Turn your head away and sigh!" But my traitor lips fell loosely open and my defecting breath started coming in more rapids pulls. Jacob suddenly lost his playful edge and soon was just as entranced as I.

We were leaning in… so gently and softly that humans would miss the movement. And as my tongue darted out to moisten my lips in preparation for his touch…

"GUYS!" Seth flopped between our nearly touching bodies—breaking the spell and releasing me from the momentary desire.

Seth seemed oblivious to what he had just interrupted. Jake eased back on his heels into a crouch—but his face was cast in lines of control. His eyes were screaming _remember you like this kid. You can't just go killing annoying kids Jacob._ I turned my face back to the sea in an effort to hide my smirk. I would have to remember to do something nice for Seth tonight. I glanced out of my peripheral and noted Jake cracking his knuckles… and I would have to make sure I did this nice deed in front of Jacob.

Leah came over to my side of the log as Seth launched in to his latest plan. She propped one leg up so that she could rest her arm across her bent knee. She nudged me and rolled her eyes as her brother never stopped talking.

It was the oddest damn thing. _This_ Leah Clearwater—she was a hundred years younger and more innocent in this new life. The Leah of my first life… she was ruled by a pain that I sometimes felt when I looked at this new Jacob. A fear that I completely understood when I met my parents on that battlefield.

And the old Leah would have NEVER sat this close to me and… _bonded_. It was fun. I had had my aunts and my mother in the months leading up to the end of that first life. But I had never had a girlfriend—peers to share moments like this with. Out of the thousands of choices of people in my life the literal last one for the job would have been Leah.

"You wanna go for a hike and leave these two 'boys' to their planning?" Jake's head snapped in my direction at Leah's offer. He all but whimpered when he saw that I was going to accept.

I had to admit, I knew how he felt. Ever since that moment that we kissed in Chicago I had felt something growing between Jake and I… not just that old familiar bond of an imprint… but something… tangible. Something that made my body move without my conscious command for it to do so. Something that made my mind wander at night on the edge of my dreams… something that was more than embarrassing to deal with when you were surrounded by so many people with overdeveloped senses of smell.

I rolled my eyes. "I need to hunt." I reminded him. He nodded with that look of resignation that said _you win this round_… to which I always silently added _and you will win every round because I am your eternal bitchslave_.

I laughed to myself as I set the pace around the curve of First Beach and on down into Second. That was perhaps the most perfect word for that look in Jake's eyes—bitchslave. It was the look that was in my dad's eyes whenever mom wanted to do something he disagreed with. And it was in my grandfather's eyes when my grandmother wanted her silver polished. It was in my uncles' eyes when my aunts came up with remodeling more of the annex buildings of the estate.

I settled into a light jog as Leah splashed through the evening tide. Carefree. I never would have believed that Leah Clearwater could be carefree.

We crossed over the division up through the thick and didn't slow as we cut over the road that led back to Forks. We were heading up higher—away from all signs civilization.

I had warned Jacob… though in all reality it wasn't like he had something to base a comparison on. But I had only known a few months as an infant who both drank animal or donated blood and ate human food. I had grown into a hybrid adult on a diet of pure… Grade-A… Human blood.

And I was used to not having to track and hunt for that blood. I had grown accustomed to simply tearing into the light flesh of screaming victims and drinking until my stomach filled to burst with that juice of life.

I tried to push aside that all too recognizable desire. I hadn't been able to really reintroduce myself into human society. I stayed with the pack at the Cullen house and only wandered down to Push when I knew I would be surrounded by wolf venom filled bodies.

There was only one human I would have liked to see anyway. And thanks to my mother's appetite he was unreachable now.

I caught the scent of rabbits and birds as we hit our stomping ground. I pushed on. I was in the mood for something…more.

At the thought of more blood… I allowed my senses to release for the hunt. I tested the air—tasting the tenors of scents and praying wildly that there would not be that most delicious of tangs on the tip of my tongue. I thanked whatever higher being was reserved for watching out for creatures like us that all I tasted was the ingredients of the earth.

Rain. The storm was moving as swiftly as I was through the trees and the drops it drove down upon the earth sought out my flesh through the maze of branches and leaves like bullets seeking a kill in the wild.

I felt the air warm for an instant as Leah phased. I didn't stop to look or even to follow her. I just laughed and pushed on.

It was exhilarating—something I never really got to enjoy until I came home. Running.

Jake wouldn't understand it but I knew whenever he cussed over how much faster I was than he was… my chest puffed out with pride. It was something that kept me from falling back into the darkness in my head—feeling like maybe this was all still some illusion and I was really still back there. In Volterra. But this was a proof that this world was real and I was not some evil thing that didn't belong here.

I was fast.

Real fast.

Edward fast.

The tinge of larger game coated the moist air filling my lungs and I laughed again. The way my feet flew over the wet earth was a vigilant ray of hope in this storm around me. I was Edward's daughter. I might not be _this_ Edward's daughter… but no one could deny a part of him was in me.

I launched my body in the hunt as my prey broke through the brush. He was scared. He sensed me… and had been fooled by the scents swirling around me. Admittedly, it was easy to hunt a wolf.

I always smelled like one.

The big grey wolf was fast—and with each second I allowed him the chase his blood grew more and more flushed just beneath the surface of his skin. Like an Iron Chief on one of Jake's FoodNetwork shows, I boiled the life nectar to the degree of my desire—just one second more. Then I swooped in for the easy kill.

My lips could have torn his flesh apart with the slightest pressure on my part—but I used my iron teeth and tore a chunk of flesh from his chest. I liked to feed directly from the heart. It was a Volturi thing… something I feared I would never unlearn.

You plunged your teeth in the chest—puncturing the heart as it still beat. The blood is sweeter, richer… and rushes with the heat of pure fiery hell of sin through your waiting lips. It was actually not the most efficient way to feed. It was sloppy and messy, over too quickly and… my eyes rolled back in my head as the buttery juices filled my dry scratchy throat… it was utterly decadent.

I remembered the first time Aro forced me to feed this way. It was on my first birthday. I had excelled in growth to be practically a teenager and my hungers were never satiated from the bottles that he supplied me with. Bottles he used to remind me that I was only a child and completely dependent on his care of my needs. When I expressed the proper level of… _obedience_ to ask for the right of joining in the ceremony of the great hall, he showed me how I would be expected to feed.

**\/Darkside\/**

**Volterra (two years earlier)**

"Come in Renesmee." Aro's voice made my entire body quake in a shockwave of fear. It always had.

In truth… no child could ever embrace the monster who killed her parents in front of her. Seeing my mom's head dangle from his up raised hand… No. I would never be anything but afraid of Aro.

I kept my eyes on the floor. I was so hungry. Ravenous. If my eyes could change color like the full vampires around me they would be darker than the robes the cloaked the brethren of these halls. My stomach twisted in need. My throat broke out in a wildfire of anticipation.

Please… please let him finally allow me to feed.

"How it pleases me that you want to do this." His words were an acid that was melting my soul from the inner tissue of my body. Right now, in my desperate state, I felt it the smallest price to pay. There wasn't going to be a need for a soul anymore. There was no longer anything worth keeping it for.

I simply nodded my head. I was so different for all the rest—I was the only prisoner with free will. The one last freaking vestige of good in this world—with my mother's death came an inheritance of her ability. I was a shield and could not be controlled by Aro's lackeys. Especially Chelsea.

I had to choose to do this.

"Tonight you will observe. If you follow the rules… I will decide when to finally grant your wish." He spoke as a pure gentleman. And he was. Aro bled ritual and manner. He was all ceremony and circumstance. That's what made him evil. You never really saw it coming.

His fingers, ice cold even for a vampire, hooked under my chin. I could feel the last traces of my desire to stay true to my heart fade into the nothingness that was my soul as I met his eyes.

I was his. Obedient dog. Like the stallion once wild and untamed… I was broken.

"Excellent." He breathed. Jane and Alec flanked me and ushered me to the corner. I just stood there.

My lips were pressed together in a line of boredom. My eyes wandered the dark crevices of stone floor as if there was simply nothing else to look at. I would watch them feed tonight and if he was merciful enough I would be allowed to join in tomorrow.

I smacked my lips in anticipation of that moment. So hungry. Ravenous.

My hands hung limply by my sides. My feet were planted as if I wanted to stand here. There was some distant tingle in my brain that told me I should feel out of place in this setting. The great doors opened and hundreds of walking "corpses" entered the dark room. I shouldn't want to kill them. I shouldn't want to start snapping necks and licking skin. But… it was all I knew.

Every baby grows and forgets its first steps. Every child learns and doesn't retain the exact memory of each mistake that they made once they are adults. I couldn't remember the Cullen life…only the pain of a loss that was never explained. Only the fear of why I should never allow anything else to touch my heart so profoundly.

This was my home.

This was the destiny before me.

Jane, a child in appearance next to my almost sixteen year old form, drug a tall robust man over to our corner. She had snapped his neck and laid him on his back to instruct me on the proper etiquette for feeding.

I watched—like a teenager in Biology class observing the feeding habits of a lion. No… I studied like a lion cub hunting for the first time in the wild. When she bit into the heart the blood burst around her tiny face.

I licked my lips in pure unadulterated lust.

Suddenly my barely human blood pulsed faster in my veins and my breathing spiked. I was hungry.

As if he could read my mind… Aro's head turned from over his great shoulder—yards from me in the great hall. Though there were hundreds of kills being executed around us, it felt as though we were the only two people in the room.

An ice cold chill of hatred ran down my spine.

Then he smiled. That knowing smile that told me I had passed the test.

The chill was replaced with a flash burn that made my eyes roll back in my head slightly.

I stepped over Jane without any spoken command to do so. He held a young girl on her knees before him… waiting for me.

I was hungry no more.

**\/Darkside\/**

**(present day)**

I wiped the loose blood from my lips and then licked my fingers. So vague reference to a fried chicken establishment tried to jump into my brain but the bloodlust was still too thick a haze for me to focus on it. I resisted the urge to moan in delight.

Wolf blood was yummy.

"That should be so wrong." His husky voice said from atop the slight slope of dirt behind me.

I smirked and continued to run my tongue along the short shafts of my fingers. I reached my middle finger on my left hand—entered it slowly in to my mouth then moaned with feeling. I flicked it out of my mouth with a slight suck and pop and flashed it higher as a silent message to him.

I heard his breathing grow deeper. I snickered. Jake was so easy to mess with.

He cleared his throat as I continued to lick and suck my fingers in exaggerated slowness. "Ren…" His voice was all breathy and gruff. I smirked harder. "Stop that please."

I laughed. I finally turned to look up at him.

I froze. I expected to find him out of sorts… but in that good my boyfriend is going to need some private time kind of way. Instead…he looked…

Disgusted.

I bit my lip—instantly feeling as if I had been slapped. It was a rejection that I knew was silly. There was some explanation—Jacob wanted me. Logically I should have evaluated what was putting him off, but I was half Bella too—I rarely used logic when my heart was involved.

I threw my arms around my abdomen and turned away from him. I was hurt. A tear slid down my cheek. Pain was such a comfort to my system that it was ridiculous. Some kids got to play with toys when they were young… I had deep stabbing guilt and cutting anguish as my childhood friends.

"No baby." He was suddenly down the hill and behind me. Our joined imprint didn't allow him to want to be disgusted by me for long. He _had_ to comfort me. He didn't have a choice.

"Ren I'm sorry…Baby please…" His giant hands were lead weights on my tensed shoulders. I resisted the urge to shrug them off… like him I couldn't deny his support. I needed it, craved it. And my body could never turn away from it.

"What did I do?" The voice that came from my lips was a foreign monster to me. The sound of a lost innocent child that had never had the chance to live.

"Ren…" Now more than any other time that he called me by this new name in the last month I really felt like he was talking to someone else. Right now… he was saying my new name… but he was talking to Nessie.

"You drink blood too." I accused. My bottom lip pouted out. I wouldn't allow him

"What's wrong with it? You... you have to drink blood too. Why... how can you judge me?" I lashed out with the bubbling fears that went down to my bones. I _knew_ I was a monster... I _knew_ there would always be a part of me that never left Volterra.

His voice was heavy with confliction when he finally spoke. "But I don't eat my brothers." He whispered.

It was only then that I remembered- wolf. I had hunted and fed upon a wolf. Jake was very superstitious in the myths of his pack. Wolves were sacred beings. All created by Erebos' venom did not have an appetite for the creatures because their blood was closely linked to the venom.

But in Volterra... wolves were a delicacy.

I closed my eyes. Ren wanted so badly to turn around and beg for his forgiveness. To tell him she was hungry and this was the only animal she could find. To admit that it was better than giving in and finding a human to devour. Nessie... she wanted to feel guilty. She wanted to have Jacob disown her and call her out for the hideous demon she was. But she also didn't want to apologize. This was what she was... maybe if he and her parents had done their jobs when she was a kid she wouldn't have grown into a scary creature of darkness.

I took three long slow breaths.

Nessie turned around to face him.

My eyes narrowed as I took in the depth of sadness in his. "You ever taste it?" My voice was like an ice laced threat. His jaw tensed but otherwise he did not react to my question.

"It's good." I pulled that heady lust that had covered my mind like a fuzzy blanket through my eyes- shoving it out in the small space between us. "Taste it." I offered the last of the blood that was cooling on my pinky ring of my left hand.

Eve standing under the tree and forcing the shiny ruby fruit of forbidden at my Adam's lips.

Jake practically flinched back from it. His nostrils flared and his face was steel as he told me with his eyes that he was not amused.

Jacob Black... not amused at a joke at his expense. Stop the presses.

I laughed- drunk on some psychotic pleasure I got from watching him squirm. Maybe it was because I knew more about the venom coursing through his body than he did. Knew that all he would have to do is taste it and he would lose all those high morals of protecting his brothers of the animal world.

It was a very simple and easy con to get encourage someone to release their soul for something as delicious as blood.

I ran my finger under my nose- closed my eyes and savoring the scent. Wolves smelled like the earth. Grass and sandalwood... sea spray and thunderstorms. And this wolf had lived a long life—his scent was filled with experience and the passing of time. Aged to perfection.

The tip of my tongue darted out—and I made sure his eyes were dancing equally between taunting tongue and my seducing eyes. I stole one quick fast lick and his breath caught.

Was he turned on by my tongue leaving my mouth in search of pleasure or was the blood finally getting to him.

I dipped my finger completely in my mouth just as his large hand secured around my wrist to stop me. I dug my teeth lightly into my own flesh and growled encouragingly when he gave my arm a little tug.

Jacob's eyes were priceless. His body was screaming panic and an almost rage. But his eyes… they couldn't hide his want—his unadulterated hunger.

I relinquished my hand to his sure grasp because I knew that I had him. I could smell it on him. Ren had smelled it on him two nights ago when they almost mated in the meadow. She chickened out… but I wanted this. I needed this.

His face was inches from mine and a rumbling hiss was rolling from his lips. I simply smirked and drew him in those last few breaths of space. Before I knew it his lips were on mine—and his tongue was lapping up the excess blood from the corners of my mouth.

He drank from my mouth greedily. But I didn't mind how forceful he was… I would always want more of him than he could dream of ever needing of me.

My hands were claws of wrathful craving that fisted in his hair. His hands secured under my butt and lifted me to circle his waist with my legs effortlessly.

I pulled back for a moment. I could feel it… I was slipping away and this would be my last act on this earth. My breaths were violently bated and his body responded as only it could—he too was breathless. I bit my lip and whimpered—teasing his tongue with my own outside of our mouths.

Then without warning I tightened my grip on his hair and yanked his head to the side. I bit down hard on the right side of his neck—at the base, the juncture where his shoulder met his neck. His pulse point.

He howled with the wild abandon that was taking over both of us and slammed his back into the nearest tree—never once even jostling me in his arms. I bit hard enough to break his skin—his beautiful caramel colored skin.

I had tasted innocent human virgin blood. And I had drunk my fill of wild wolf blood. But Jacob's blood…

I moaned as if I were already climaxing from our exchange. And in truth I was. His blood was making the world around me spin. Everything was intensified—the sensations in my body. The sounds of the world around us. I could hear the passage of time on the breeze above me.

I rocked back in his arms to let the hit settle across every inch of my body. My brain was happy and doped on my special Jacob treat.

While everything had been heat and throb and craze before, now it felt as if everything were slowing down. I reached my hand up to caress his face. My vision sharpened so that I could truly understand what the word beauty meant. I could see every distinct inch of my lover's face—and there was nothing that could compare to the sight.

As he was a hopeless slave to my body, Jake's world slowed too. And the look that was rising to his eyes made me instantly aroused and desperate to be naked and joined with him.

He slowly drew me closer and ran his nose along the column of my throat—inhaling. It was his… all of it.

I twisted my fingers in his hair and drew my bottom lip between my teeth. My legs squeezed tighter around his waist and I held back the cry of need that he was building in me while he found the courage to take that final jump too.

Then he snapped his jaw open and plunged his teeth in the pulse point on my neck.

I have no idea what I tasted like. My blood was not blood… but neither was it venom. I could only imagine that my blood would be akin to Jake's blood. A hybrid of human and venom—sweet and sinful.

He drank from my neck as if he were drinking the essence my body was producing between my legs. Though I was becoming more and more aware of how both of our bodies were responding to this exchange. He rocked his hips into my spread center— I gave a yelp of joy at the sweet friction that this caused.

I gripped my hands tighter in his hair in a vain effort to stay—to not allow her to replace me. But he drew my blood from my neck with force and I was sucked slowly from this form by it. Once the blood high was sweeping through his system… I was no longer the old Jacob's Nessie and was now completely my Jacob's Ren.

I pulled back to look at him.

It was time.

He lowered us to the forest floor, reverently. His smooth large hands undressed me. I lay on my back watching him—I knew he wanted to do this his way. I could feel it… sense it. Almost hear it in my head even. So I lay still and just gave myself over to the sensations he was stirring in me. Where there once was clothing there was now just Jake's hands—silky fingertips that caused stinging tingles to shock my skin. He followed his fingers with his lips.

And before I knew it I was floating in a haze of both Jacob blood euphoria and Jacob touch stimulation. I was so lost in my own little world that I missed his getting undressed. A large part of my mind was very angry with me for missing it—Jake was a beautiful creature to behold when he was even half naked. Fully naked Jake would have been magnificent.

But he was lowering himself between my thighs now and the air around us was shifting and buzzing and it was suddenly like a thousand silent voices were humming in my ears.

"Jacob?" I moaned. I couldn't fight it—my body wanted this, sought this from his. But there was some primal, instinctual ritual that was taking over our movements. This first time had to be some sacred voodoo mating dance that we could not control. Typical.

Next time. Next time I would play more leading up to this part—I wanted to play more with his body and experience everything he had to offer. But not this time. This time was a wolf claiming his mate—and an Alpha joining his soul with its equal.

"I know baby." Was all he could offer. I could tell his voice was as strained as mine. And he seemed to go on autopilot too. He plunged his face against that spot on my neck where he had bit me. And his hands went to work on my aching breast while our lower halves moved without our conscious control of them.

I didn't notice any discomfort or pain when he entered me. Nor did I catch a scent of freshly released blood. I wondered at the science of it all. I had never really thought of the possibilities of my future as a mother. Would my body have the capabilities to conceive and carry a child as a human's body did? My biology lesson was short lived as our bodies started to burn in an overwhelming dance of hunger and need.

Vicious animalistic snarls tore from both of our chests. And Jake even bit my neck again. It was as if the more our bodies needed each other to reach our release… the more they fought to destroy each other as well.

It was not painful—far from it. The more we struggled and thrashed and tumbled about on the forest floor the more intense the pleasure became. Everything was movement—the entire world was sensation and fire. A building pressure that was the very air pressing down on the edges of our joined skin.

We ended up with me straddling his body as we rode the shockwaves ecstasy.

_Just like that Ren… harder. Faster. Good girl_.

Jacob's voice was screaming… not in the air but in my mind. And I was giving him my thoughts through some invisible tunnel that we were building between our brains.

Fire. Need. Burn. Pleasure. Faster. Harder.

My body felt as though my skin was splitting and I was reemerging from within. I couldn't stop. I needed more. I was a psychotic wild animal and I tore my nails across his chest in my lust.

My tongue ran along the grooves of pooling blood and some part of me was amazed that his skin was already healing as it followed the path of my tongue.

With the combination of a second hit of his blood and a sudden peak of pressure built within my body—we exploded together.

I was split—into a million pieces of nothing that folded back on top of each other as I collapsed on to his chest. I was no longer me.

I was us. He was us. Our breaths rose and fell in tandem. Our hearts beat in unison. Our minds whispered in both of our heads. And our skin…

I propped myself up on one elbow. First I looked into his eyes—loving sweet pure Jacob. I smiled as I tried to catch my breath. A gentle grin peeked out of his lips in return.

I sat up… somehow knowing I would need to get a better look at my own body as I did this. I reached out a single finger and ran in along the long, lean line of his chest. From the base of his throat to the top of his bellybutton and down the devastatingly alluring line of hair that led to one of my new favorite parts of his body. I made the pass three times.

On the fourth I dug my nail into his flesh—hard enough to draw blood.

I bit back the need to scream and watched in morbid fascination as an identical line magically appeared down my chest—as long, deep and as wide as the one appearing on his.

His hand closed around my wrist to stop my ministrations. "What the hell?" He whispered.

I rocked back on my heels and shrugged my shoulders. "That seriously is the only part of this day that you're going to question." I asked. For a second we shared a moment of intense… intensity. We were two lost kids with no answers.

Then all at once we were Jacob and Ren—mates for life with unfathomable destinies.

Together we threw our heads back and roared with laughter.

Innocent children no more.

**\/Darkside\/**

**EmPOV (same time Chicago)**

I watched her sit by the water—her golden hair catching the last rays of light as the sun set.

Unbelievable as hell.

She peeked over her shoulder back at me. Who the hell was that woman? Not my Rose… well not the Rose I had known. Something inside of me told me that she was my Rose. That there wasn't a separation invented be it death, time, or whatever that could change the fact that I belonged with Rosalie Hale.

But this woman was… a woman. Full and whole and capable of happiness and sadness all at once. Of remembering humanity but seeking the best she could out of being a vampire too.

We hadn't done much but… um… faced some demons. And I'll be damned if the sex wasn't better with her too.

But now it was time. I really needed to get down to Isle Esme. I owed it to my family to join them there. It was the safest most remote hiding place we had from the Volturi.

And really I was just anxious to get Rose down there and… keep her safe. The longer I spent here with her the more I worried that she would sit too long in the grass and the acid that had been in her soul would seep back in. And I didn't want that.

I wanted to keep this Rose.

"Tell me again." I said coming up behind her and snaking my arms around her waste. I rested my head on her shoulder and nuzzled my nose into the soft flesh of her neck.

I didn't offer her any more of a question than that—she knew what I was asking. I had asked the same thing since the moment she woke up.

She sighed and put her hands over mine across her stomach. "From the beginning?" I nodded and kissed her skin.

"Alright…"

I split my vision between her gorgeous visage and the amazing sunset and just reveled in her version of the past.


	30. Chapter 30: Death part 1

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Question**:

Can you let it go? If you love something enough can you trust that releasing it from the bonds of this earth is the best thing? How far would you go for the one you love?

_"Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?"_

_"At least try."_

_I shook my head fast. He waited, ignoring the negative answer because he could hear the conflict in my thoughts…._

_"Help me stop it," he whispered. "Help me stop this from happening."_ (Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn)

**Answer**:

Chapter 30: Right back where we started or Death pt. 1

**\/Darkside\/**

**APOV (Isle Esme one month after the battle)**

I sat down on the sofa in the middle of the family room. This point cut the mansion in half. From here I had direct access to the front entrance straight back to the sliding glass doors that faced the beach. I liked sitting here.

It was the hub. And I liked being in the spot that everything had to pass through.

Jasper was in turmoil lately—I had to find a way to help him. I had no guidance on how to start helping him without a vision. That was my biggest problem- my visions were growing dark.

It wasn't everything at all times. It seemed random. I couldn't put my finger on it. I could feel that sense of déjà vu that I had felt so often after Bella joined our family. I didn't like it. It reminded me of the past… the never ending revolving past of births and deaths that had finally ended when Jasper changed me.

Edward's future went dark yesterday afternoon for two hours. I would have been more worried but I found out that he was busy building the new wing of the estate for Bella and the twins.

The twins.

Like some cosmic monkey wrench in the preordained destiny that I used to tap into, they were eternally vacant from my vision. Again, that would have worried me, but something in the back of my sixth sense told me it was natural. That there was a reason why I couldn't see vampire babies in my vision. For the most part I was okay with that. Edward could read their minds. Jasper could sense their feelings. Bella was housing them in her body. The twins for the most part seemed fine and healthy.

The problem was… I couldn't see Bella either.

I wrung my hands together and rolled my head from side to side. Edward would tease me for weeks for this but it worked when I was human. I took a deep breath—calling on the mystical arts that were at my service.

My fingers ghosted over the tarot cards in my hand. I visualized my objective. Two weeks from now. Carlisle said that Bella's pregnancy was progressing alarmingly fast and that he projected that she would deliver in only two weeks.

I tried to find it, any of it. Would this be true? What was going on with Bella? What sex would the twins be?

I turned card after card over. They all said the same thing.

Death.

I let out the breath that I had held. My heart sunk beneath the earth. I did not like this.

On one hand I tried to laugh it off. I hadn't had a need for the cards since the day Jasper turned me into a vampire. Perhaps this was simply the spirits having a laugh at my expense. Since it was believed vampires were dead. I guess in theory if the cards were linked to the life force seeking their wisdom there wasn't much to be found from a vampire—my heart was no longer beating and my future was pretty set. However, I was in the boat with Edward on this truth. I believed we were not dead, we were just advanced. Evolved. Our bodies were not fueled by blood but rather the venom that burned the need for blood from our systems. That didn't make us dead.

_I've seen death—I've been death_. I couldn't even remember how many times I had died, but I knew all too well what it felt like.

"Alice?" Jasper's voice would have broken my heart, if I had had a heart left to break. I had to admit that the past couple of months had really tested my eternal optimism.

"BELLA BE REASONABLE!" Edward was bellowing from the beach. His voice shattered my concentration. And then Jasper slipped and sent a double dose of Edward's frustration over me.

Apparently an already suffering schizophrenic vampire just got harder to handle when she had hormones dictating her moods.

Poor Edward.

Agony washed over me—my emotions suddenly sucking me into a vortex of pain and anguish and confusion. Poor Jasper. I squeaked and jumped at the sensation. "Sorry," he mumbled quickly. I turned to find him standing by the front entrance. His shoulders were slouched forward and his eyes were downcast. My sweet lover. He made no move to come to me. In fact he stood there as if he were waiting for me to send him away.

"Jasper… please. Don't do that." I jumped over the back of the couch and flitted over to his side. I might have lost my touch with the future but I would never lose my purpose in the present.

Jasper.

My one true foundation in life was this man before me. I tried to pull his attention to me without touching him. When emotional states were shifting as much as they were around the island these days Jazz tended to need some extra space. Touching him made it harder for his control to lock away the assault. I didn't mind it. I didn't need him to touch me to feel his love.

Nor did I have to touch him to love him. I just filled my mind and heart with what he meant to me. I could feel it pulsing deep within me—radiating a wave of comfort from my body to his.

He took a sudden deep breath, but he refused to look up. I could feel it then. It was faint and just a hint on the end of his rising anger that was forcing back my current of love, but there was some kind of guilt Jasper was trying to hide.

I sighed. _Desperate times_… I planted my hands palm open and spread wide on his chest. He sucked in another sharp breath. Even I had a hard time surviving the rush of that contact. It was staggering. Pain. Love. Hell. Hope. Guilt. Pain. Mostly there was just pain. _Torture_. Everyone around us, the two of us included was feeling that emotion more and more these days. I struggled to keep my hands from shaking as the tremors of emotions shook me lightly. I raised my hands to his face. He closed his eyes against the swell of emotions that the contact of our skin always brought.

It was even stronger than that of my hands on his clothed chest. It was hard for me to truly define what part of us was Alice and what part was Jasper in that moment. The two bodies that were joined by the small span of skin molded together—melting into each other.

Lust. My body was filling with a heat of the most overwhelming hunger.

"Jasper…" I pressed my lips gently to his. I let a tiny cry out from my lips at the sting of pleasure that contact gave me. "Please. Let me in." I urged in a desperate whisper. He shook his head while keeping his eyes tightly closed from me.

In any other instant at any other point in my life I would have accepted this moment for what it was and ignored it. But I was fed up with being denied. Jazz could trust me—he promised he would.

I snarled and pulled away. I knew as I flew through the back doors that it was the worst thing I could do. That Jasper would feel hurt and lost without my presence right now. But damn it, I was only so strong myself.

I needed someone to tell me what was going to happen next—for the first damn time in over two thousand years, I needed reassurance of what was coming in my future.

I ended up on the cliffs over looking the east harbor. I crouched down on the edge of the rock face. The waves crashed against the land below as if the ocean knew there was some evil on the island that needed to be cleansed from the earth.

I sat perfectly still. My eyes cast upon the horizon. It was almost sunrise. The moment of the day when humans believed all the darkness of the world would be illuminated with the promise of dawn.

But they were wrong.

If humans could see the night the way we immortals could they would know that darkness is never fully defeated by light. There is always something hiding. There are always shadows in sunrise.

There weren't too many places for shadows to hide over water. The ocean stretched for miles longer than even my perfect vision could fathom. And it looked to be a glorious sea of shimmering hope. The crests of the waves sparkled like my ice cold flesh as the rays of the fresh sun kissed them. It was truly magical.

On the surface.

I knew that just beneath the curve of those dazzling swells was a black so dark that even the creatures who made the sea their home did not dare to venture into it.

I closed my eyes.

Darkness.

It was a troubling thing. Jasper had always contended that he wished to not have these other abilities. He wished that if we were to live as immortals that we might be allowed to do so in peace as Carlisle and Esme always had. He saw them as traps ever so much more than gifts.

I sighed-my hands clamping into fists. It was an enslavement I had always been more than willing to live with. I would be burdened by my power all that it wanted so long as I could keep my family safe.

The sun continued to rise. Even with the knowledge that it could not stamp out all of the evils lying in wait, the sun was helpless but to shine.

His hands secured around my neck from behind. I heard him drop to his knees before letting out a weary breath and resting his forehead against the back of my head.

"It's not as easy as just lettin' you in, darlin'." I smirked. When Jazz grew frustrated he always slipped in to a southern accent. It was not one that he had naturally. But we spent a so much time in the south while he trained the factions of armies that were spreading across the new territories of this land- The last of the warriors that would fight off the wolves.

It was a time in our lives when both of Jasper's worlds existed harmoniously. War and wife. Husband and general.

I sighed and sagged back against his chest. He relaxed his hands and drew them forward, across my chest—cupping my breasts as he spoke.

"I'm scared Alice." I watched the waves rise and fall. It was relaxing in the face of my worries that were bubbling to the surface. I knew he was. I just didn't know what about.

My eyes rolled back in my head as his hands started to caress me. I could feel my body craving his touch. It had been a long time since Jasper touched me like this. His thumbs rubbed over my swollen nipples and I all but forgot about the future—so content to be living in this present.

His words drew me out of that distraction.

"Are you sure they didn't hurt you angel?" His voice was just a whisper—a hushed breath of velvet tones. But the lethal threat in the texture of that voice made my body tense. Even without the confirmation from Jazz's emotional flare, I could tell he was furious to even think about the time we spent in Chicago.

We hadn't really talked about it. I promised him it was for the best. I assured him that I had not really been hurt. I kissed ever inch of his body for the suffering that he was forced to endure.

"Is that what you are afraid of Jazz?" My hands fell on top of his—mine were so much smaller. Mine had known only a need to sooth and comfort- to hold in love and strike out only in protection of what I loved. Jasper's hands had known nothing but battle. They were formed to hunt and kill when he was human. They were hardened to defend and murder once they were immortal. Even when he touched me they held an edge of fight to them. He had to fight with his touch to prove that I was what his heart desired.

My mind flew in a million directions- and it was nearly impossible to pay attention to any of them as Jasper's skin started to mix with my own. His flesh was uneven with scars from venomous bites of wolves. Mine was smooth and free of such reminders. His emotions were raw and they were rubbing into my soul with each sweep of his fingers.

I tried to focus on my brain.

There was the conscious thought of the future—Jasper and I would still be standing here talking in a few minutes if I decided to look for this memory. Good.

"You told me something the first day we got back here… something that you said you had written in your diary. Something that you said Erebos told you…"

Suddenly I felt like my old self again. I did not have a vision but my mind cleared and I knew exactly what he was talking about.

I hung my head. I saw him trying to ask the question in our near future. Why was that the only slice of fate I could access with clarity now? My hands dropped back to my lap. He understood it was an invitation for him to talk to me. His strong hands continued to hold to me as if I was all that kept him here.

In truth… I was.

His hands squeezed tightly and all of the paths in my brain suddenly lined up—stretching off in to eternity of my mind was the face of the only creature I have ever truly hated.

"The Mother," I whispered.

I could hear Jasper close his eyes. His breath stopped. His hands froze.

I gasped. Suddenly even the immediate Jazz was dark in my vision.

"Don't go," was all I could say. I knew it was feeble. I knew it was not something either of us could fight. But … I was lost without him.

"It's not something I can deny. I _must_ follow her." His voice was strangled. I couldn't feel anything. My chest was numb and so was my mind. Jasper cut the connection off completely. His hands returned to my throat but I felt no connection to our bond as his flesh rested against mine once more.

I closed my eyes—those damn waves just kept mocking me with the lie of their promise. There were so many dark shadows below—too many.

"Fight it." I begged. His hands became a vise. If I were human I would have died instantly. I was not human. I simply sat there, knowing that my love wanted nothing more than to do what I asked.

"I can already feel her… It's only a matter of time, Al. Only a short breath of days before I won't be able to focus on anything else."

I wished I could cry. Crying would have released the anguish inside of me now.

I had only one thought in my mind—Aro. If Jasper followed this pull and went back to the Mother he would become a tool of Aro. I was frozen by the terror of that.

"This was their plan all along Jasper. There is a game they are playing. We are their pawns. They'll take you now. Take away our defenses…" It made perfect sense really. It was the entire reason no one, including Jasper, had been allowed to remember Jane. She was one more piece to Jasper's pull to that evil place. One more reminder of the call he couldn't forget.

Suddenly Jasper's touch was gone from my skin. I felt more alone than I ever had.

"Don't Alice…" He whispered. I turned to find him kneeling against the stone earth. He gripped his hair in his hands—his face was contorted in pain. Torture. It was what the Volturi did best.

Even when they were nowhere in sight.

I sighed.

It was despicable but it was garnering a reaction that I needed from him. I needed Jasper to fight his own body. Fight the venom that fueled him. If convincing him that going back there would turn him into one of the creatures that had tortured me…

"She's with him. I felt her. I… _saw_ her…" His eyes were piercing daggers into mine at that confession.

A reverence crossed his features.

Shit.

He was hers once more. "You… so it's true. She's… She's _alive_." His voice was quiet. Soft. Calm. I resented that. In that moment I had to give her at least a little credit. I was not able to offer Jasper that kind of peace for the last month—for quite some time to be honest.

I was loathed to admit that she had a positive affect on him. But I knew all too well that it was an illusion. My affect might seem like hell… but it was honest and pure. Illilyana was a lie—one that cut to the bone. Thoughts of her threatened to break my mind…

There was a pressure in my head as these thoughts fell into place. Like standing in the middle of a fog drenched harbor and knowing that water is near but not knowing in what direction it lay. My vision was empty, still, but I felt almost as if all the answers were just on the other side of the building pressure.

For a heartbeat I could see something. I blinked my outer eyes and my inner ones opened to a moment in my past. _I lay curled on my side in the blackness of the psychiatric ward. My eyes were glassed over. And one word escaped my lips over and over. "Death... Death... Death..."_

_The human version of me jumped suddenly as if something had struck her. I could see nothing. But her eyes looked up toward me- no behind me. The fear in her eyes was savage. The death she saw coming neared from behind me. _

_"Please... don't." She pleaded as tears rolled down her cheeks. _

_A snarl filled the darkness around the vision. An evil that had even me afraid to see what it was._

_"No..." the ill fated girl on the floor whimpered. She knew it was futile. She knew she would die. _

_"Not again." I froze. Again? Though I had lived, died and been reborn many times throughout history, I had only lived in the ward once before. And I had been freed from that hell by Jasper. What did she mean... again?_

_"I promise I'll stop looking. But... I..." another tear slid down her face. "I won't give up on you. Kill me now and I will come back. One day... you'll be able to fight it." _

_The beast behind me lunged at the frightened Alice. All was darkness... I couldn't see what had killed her_.

I gasped for air and came back to myself.

I looked back at the sea as I sat, pulling my knees up to rest under my chin.

Jasper was gone.

He didn't even say goodbye.

I didn't expect him to. I had seen this moment, that day in the woods when we left Chicago. I saw him leaving me. I saw me sitting here alone.

I sat without moving and glared at the rising sun. I would give anything to stop it from ever coming again. Darkness held a simple truth to it. Everything was dark at night. There was no need for illumination. But daylight was only illusion. There was always something hiding.

Always.

**\/Darkside\/**

**BPOV (same time, Isle Esme)**

I waddled from the bedroom to the kitchen. Edward had gone off the island to get me blood. I was getting too big and too uncoordinated to hunt. It worried him- he wasn't good at hiding the fear in his eyes when he looked at me.

I understood it. Time. We hadn't had much of it together and now it seemed as though we were losing it altogether.

We hadn't even known each other for an entire year but it felt like we had spent a lifetime together. No matter how many voices and thoughts were in my mind the same truth shone through in all of them- Edward and I belonged together. He was my world.

I was his.

If something went wrong with this birth... I just had to stay optimistic.

I tapped my fingers on the counter while I waited. The twins were jumping around inside of me. I was trying to ignore that. Even the vampire mind in me was just a tad bit terrified of what was going on internally.

It was another one of those things- those truths that just made me want to scream. But no matter how I tried to reason with my self the fact was I was only a seventeen-year-old girl.

Time might have stopped for me. I might have found the greatest love in all of history. I might have the intellect of a thousand year old philosopher but in the end I was only seventeen years old.

My real life experience was very limited.

I had never had the time to want to think about becoming a mother. Never had I considered I would be with child before I was twenty. And then there were the more disturbing questions- how could it even be possible that I was pregnant? How was it possible that my children were growing so quickly that I was set to give birth to twins only three months after I conceived them?

I just continued to tap my fingers on the terracotta tile. I didn't want to think about any of that. When I thought about it, I found it hard to be excited about being pregnant. And I was over the moon about having Edward's children.

It was just strange. And there were things I was hiding from Edward that I knew I couldn't much longer. Like the fact that I could feel my heart pumping.

I swallowed down the fear. My stomach growled. All at once, I was starving.

My hands froze.

Not thirsty.

_Hungry_.

I put my hand over my stomach. Without conscious command to do so I wandered over to the fridge. Edward had the staff bring food from the mainland since Alice said she saw Jake and Renesmee coming within the next couple of days. Well what she said was Jake called her and said he wanted to be here when I had the babies. She made a note of it and rolled her eyes when Edward asked if she saw anything about it in her vision.

Poor Alice.

I opened the icebox to take a look at what he had stocked up on.

My nose was assaulted with smells that would have disgusted me a few short months ago. But now I was ravaged by the scents. Eggs. Bacon. Fruit.

Meat.

My eyes settled on the slab of uncooked beef that lay on the second shelf- right in my line of sight. My mouth salivated.

It was perfect. Rare. Raw. Dripping in blood and just begging to be devoured.

The twins seemed eager for a taste too. I tore into the muscle and savored every bite. I growled with lust. I was licking my fingers when Edward came through the front door.

"I'm home." He announced. His voice left him when he entered the kitchen. I was licking my lips and looking at him expectantly. Now that the hunger was tamed I was suddenly burning with thirst. Edward carried a cooler filled with blood packets- donation from a near by hospital.

I smacked my lips in anticipation.

"More please." I said batting my eyes at him like a child asking for ice cream. His face was still locked in questions.

My babies tossed inside me. My throat was on fire. "Edward…" I said sternly. "I'm thirsty."

He shook his head and walked the blood over to me. He opened the chest and pulled out one packet. My eyes rolled back in my head. I could smell it through the plastic case- human.

I made a yummy sound and bit into the bag. I noticed Edward drawing his hand away from the cupboard above the sink. He had meant to get me a glass. _Silly Edward_. He insisted on taking care of me too much.

I patted the stool next to me. As I slurped the tasty treat, he joined me. I hummed my appreciation of what he brought me. It was delicious. Still warm. How on earth was it still warm?

He fingered the empty plate in front of us. There was still some stray blood on it. I didn't like the look of apprehension in his eyes. I sucked the last of the blood from the container and tossed it on to the plate.

Edward didn't look at me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked in a small voice. I was suddenly terrified- ready to weep. Why was he so mad at me?

He turned to me then- concern still dominating his features. But his eyes were lethal. "No. Why would you... Bella... No." He reached to put his hands on me but I was too hurt to want to have him touch me.

I leapt from the stool and stalked off to the back door. I didn't have a place in mind I just needed to leave that room.

"Bella love please," Edward called. I slowed but I refused to stop. He needed to stop staring at me like I was the freak in some sideshow.

"What's wrong now, Edward? Is it the fact that you remembered I'm pregnant? Or is it..." I bit my lip, "is it because you don't trust me? You know I would never mess with your memories without you knowing about it."

I heard him sigh as he came up behind me.

"I have always trusted you Bella. I trust you with my mind... my very soul. And I... I am quite aware that you are carrying my children."

There was a sour note to the last. I turned on him in a thunderous rage.

"_You_ did this to me!" Edward's eyes spread wide and he nearly fell down trying not to run into me since he hadn't expected me to confront him like this. "You weren't complaining when you did it either, Edward Cullen. I seem to remember you enjoyed it."

"BELLA BE REASONABLE!" He shouted. My mouth popped open in shock. He was yelling at me. Where the hell did he get off?

"You be reasonable, Edward." I put my hands on his chest and shoved. He gripped my wrists in his sure hands and planted his weight under him. I couldn't move him.

"Bella, please, I don't want you to get hurt."

"No!" I screeched. I was truly a too far-gone harpy by that point. "You don't want your precious science experiment destroyed. That's all I am, right? Some study. Some specimen for you, Carlisle, and Erebos to poke and watch."

I beat my hands against his chest. I was nearly through with the rant. I really wished I could say this was the first time I had lost my mind with Edward since we got to Isle Esme. But this was becoming just a typical morning, noon and night for us.

I released all tension from my body and collapsed against his chest. He shushed me and rocked me. Ever so more gentle and understanding than I deserved.

He cradled me in his arms and carried me to the far end of the beach. We sat down next to the water. It was nearly dawn. We rested together and waited for the horizon to break with the coming of a new day.

I hiccupped around the light sobs that were still consuming me. It was so unbelievably frustrating being the crazy woman on the island.

"It's okay, love," Edward reassured me. He was so patient. Honestly, I didn't deserve him. How in the hell he put up with my constant mood swings these days was beyond me.

"It's not okay, Edward. I'm scared. You're scared. It doesn't help that I'm going _Bates_ on everyone."

"Bates?"

"Sorry. I forgot you don't watch movies. Psycho- the main character in Psycho is named Norman Bates… Jake would've got it."

"Of course he would." He didn't say it to be mean. He really just said it very matter of fact. But suddenly a fresh wave of tears and insecurities raked through me. I was such a horrible wife.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was shaky as he tried to understand my latest bout of blubbering. I mumbled my apologies for even mentioning Jacob. Then that thought made me miss Jacob. Edward rolled his eyes.

"I never really believed Carlisle when he said human woman lose their minds to hormones."

As soon as he said it, he regretted it. And I knew he didn't mean it the way we both knew I would take it. I sat up. I wanted to be the big girl about this. I bit my lip to keep me from saying something I would regret.

"Edward," I said looking down at my hands. "I'm sorry that I can't control myself." I'll admit I was being a brat. But he really had no right to call me a duck while I was so busy quacking.

"That's not what I meant Bella." His hands were on my cheeks then and I was suddenly lost at remembering why I would ever be angry with Edward. His touch... it had a way of pushing everything else aside in my reality.

And the babies loved it when he touched us too. I felt them stir- maybe even grow and little bigger from the electric pulse that was singing across my skin.

"Oh my God," he whispered. I had closed my eyes at the sweet sensation coursing through me.

I felt his thumbs running along my cheeks. I expected a completely different look in Edward's eyes when I opened mine. He was... paler than I'd ever seen him.

"What is it Edward?" I put my hand on his cheek. I swear he felt colder too.

"Bella... you..." he looked down at his thumbs and back at me. I knitted my brows.

"What?" The sun began to rise and his skin was luminous in the early morning rays.

"You're crying."

I nodded. I knew that I was overcome with too many emotions to deal with them all at once. "I know, Edward, I'm sorry. I'll try to get a grip. It's just so overwhelming... and..."

"No, Bella," he said gently pulling my hand from his face and running my finger along my own cheek.

I gasped. My finger came away moist. The tiny drops glistened in the breaking dawn. I was crying. "I'm crying," I remarked feebly.

Edward nodded- looking just as inept as I felt.

"What does it... "

Suddenly Edward's chest was ringing. He sighed. "Yes Alice... _Oh_…" His eyes were wide. From the way his entire form changed at the sound of the caller's voice I knew it was not Alice he was speaking to. I leaned in to hear the other side of the conversation. I couldn't. Whoever was talking to him was keeping their voice too low for me to hear.

"Tomorrow is not soon enough," Edward said. He glared at the tears on my cheeks. I felt my stomach flip. I couldn't just pretend this one away. This was scary.

Hungering for food.

Crying.

Being pregnant at all.

My thoughts only made me more anxious. And the anxiety only led to more tears.

"Tonight!" Edward shouted at the phone. He closed it and put it back in his pocket.

"Shhh… Bella. Everything is going to be alright sweetheart." He pulled me back into a tight embrace. My eyes were blurry as they spied the rise of the new day. The sun cast away the shadows around us.

Why didn't I feel hope in that? Why was there a sinking feeling in my gut that there was something black just beyond my reach?

Something I couldn't fight.

Edward's hands settled over my expanding stomach and our children wiggled and flipped at the feel of their father so near.

"Oh."

"What?" Edward's voice rose in alarm.

I gripped his hands to hold them in place. There it was again. The tingle of our connection and then… a twinge. Like someone blowing up a balloon one breath at a time.

"Feel that Edward?" I couldn't help the hint of wonder that touched my voice when I said it. It was spreading through my whole body.

I watched as Edward felt it too- smiled when the same look of awe settled over his features.

"What happened?" He wasn't asking me so much as asking the world for an explanation. I sighed and rested back against his chest as he strolled through stray thoughts in his head.

I thought too- but mostly about what we had to look forward to in the near future. Two babies. Twins. And no precedent for what they would be like.

That wasn't true. Something in my mind made me think of a girl. Reddish brown curly hair and dark brown eyes.

I rubbed my stomach as my thoughts became idle. "I think it has to do with you." The gifted part of my brain spoke up.

Edward leaned over to face me. "How?"

We thought back. The twins were conceived just before he left for Chicago. It was two months before we saw him again. They did not grow this rapidly until Edward was back around us.

"This." I reached out my right hand and touched his cheek. He sighed at the contact but we both felt the pulse grow stronger too.

"Oh." He pursed his lips. "That still doesn't explain the tears. And..." He cocked his head to the side- lowering it slightly to my chest. "Your heartbeat."

I shrugged. "What can?"

He watched me with guarded eyes. "Erebos is coming here later today- well he will contact us through your gift. He said he has much to share with us. That he feels our worry in his gift. But he assured me that this is natural and no cause for panic."

I nodded.

"Edward?" he was watching the dawn cast the pink glow on the rolling waves.

"Yes love?" He whispered without looking at me.

I yawned—suddenly I was reminded of one more human frailty that was consuming me.

"Can we sleep?"

He looked down at my face, fear and sadness seeming to consume him. It worried me, but I was too exhausted to mention that. His eyes narrowed as he considered my question.

"Of course."

**\/Darkside\/**

**EPOV (dream sequence)**

I lay back on the warm soft sand and she shifted her weight to rest across my chest.

It was not unlike that first time we shared this gift of hers. It was impossible to imagine that I had only known Isabella Swan for a handful of months. Surely my memory was faulty.

I had known her forever- Before forever.

Every inch of my being was shaped around one purpose—love Bella.

My body started to grow heavy and I could feel the warmth spreading from her hands across my chest. Everything around me grew warm and comfortable. Bella sighed into me. I no longer had the strength to even try to move my hand to stroke her.

My eyes rolled back behind my lids...

_"Edward. Edward, wake up." My eyes popped open at the excited voice of my wife._

_I groaned when the sunlight hit my irises. "I was having a good dream Bella." My voice was raspy and raw with sleep. I lay on my stomach and turned my head away from the light- a vain attempt to stave off getting up which was clearly what my wife was going to require I do sooner rather than later._

_I felt warm hands on my naked back. I groaned when those hands were followed by wet open mouthed kisses._

_"Please," Whispered a sultry voice in my ear. _

_I groaned again as I rolled over and secured her slender body in my embrace._

_"You are the most dangerous creature I have ever met," I grumbled. Her smile was dazzling as my eyes cleared from drowsiness. She kissed my chest over my beating heart—resting her chin on the spot to watch me wake up._

_"Missed you," I smiled at her words. I had missed her too. _

_"We were asleep together in the same bed silly," I teased, even though I knew exactly what she meant. Until we could dream together sleep would be a torture for us both—forced separation. _

_She frowned suddenly and I was gripped with panic._

_"What is it my love?" My hands were on her cheeks and I scrutinized her face with tense green eyes._

_"Don't you want me?" She pouted. _

_"Of course I do Bella... why would you ask that?"_

_She glanced down, hiding her chocolate brown eyes under her rosy lids. "Well... you have a funny way of showing it." The blush spread across her cheeks a breath before she peeked up through her thick lashes at me._

_I flashed my crooked grin that I knew would boil her blood for me._

_With speed that surprised even me, I had her pinned under my weight and started unleashing an attack on ever inch of her flesh._

_"Oh Edward," she moaned._

_Her skin was lightly dusted in a warm glow from the morning sun. She looked like a golden apple, tempting, forbidden, and… "Delicious," I muttered almost absentmindedly. In truth she was. Her skin was sweet to the taste and as she became more aroused there was a slight salty addition to her flavor. So good. So sweet. So Bella._

_"Mine," I said as my lips closed around her taut right nipple._

_She gasped. Her hands wove through my unruly bronze locks and fisted as she enjoyed my play. I groaned when she tugged lightly at my hair._

_We teased for several long... sensual minutes. I would excite her to a point of need that would have her panting for more, only to pull away and move to a new spot on her body._

_I could lay like that with my Bella forever—an eternity of worshiping her body. I could live an immortality of one purpose, seeing that look of total abandon on her face._

_I smiled like a cat with his canary as she relaxed and cast her eyes down her body toward mine. _

_"I will never live long enough to show you how much I love you, Edward Masen," she sighed. I smiled against her stomach. _

_"Nor I you, my love." _

_"Edward..." she whispered. Just as I raised my head to answer her our moment of bliss was interrupted by harsh reality. _

_A baby's wail from the room next to ours tore through the peace of our home. I laughed. _

_"Ethan?" I cocked a brow. I wasn't as acquainted with our sons' cries as she was. She could tell which boy it was simply from one solid shout._

_"No... _that_ would be Anthony." _

_"How do you always know?" I chuckled lightly. _

_"I just do." She ran her hands up my shoulders and across the line of my neck. "Like my devotion to you, I just feel the truth deep inside of me."_

_I narrowed my eyes at the sensation that pulsed through me with her words. I leaned down to place a strong kiss on her lips—I poured my passion for her very essence through the joining of our flesh._

_She pulled back as a second voice joined the first in the nursery. "That would be Ethan."_

_I cocked my head to the side. I pulled us both up and laughed harder. "If you say so, my love."_

_We dressed. I knew that the house staff had the day off so I dressed less formally than I normally would. I opted for a pair of tan slacks and a white shirt but chose to leave the shirt buttons undone. My wife enjoyed the lines of my chest- who was I to deny her the sight._

_She put on a delicate white dress. It was soft and flowing. It hung loose around her legs, draped down to her ankles as that was the modern style, but fit her across her tiny waist and rested beautifully around her perfect bosom. _

_"Touché," I whispered under my breath, as I was lost in fantasy of her form. I had hoped to remind my wife of what she had waiting for her once our sons were sated. I had forgotten that she was by far a more alluring temptation._

_We held hands for the five steps it took to walk to the nursery from our room. Most men would ridicule, find it a scandal for a man to be so enamored with his wife. To their way of thinking I should be off doing something manly and never involve myself with tending to our children or spending a lazy Saturday holding my true love's hand._

_I could truly think of nothing more masculine than doing just that. Hopeless romantic, my mother dubbed me the second I laid eyes on Miss Isabella Marie Swan. And I intended to remain that way for the rest of eternity._

_"Which one would you like first my dear?" _

_Bella smiled at me as she sat in the rocking chair in the corner. She looked so beautiful as she lowered the right side of her dress. "Ethan," she whispered reverently._

_Ethan was the smaller of our twins. He was born second- and he looked just like my wife. I couldn't explain to someone outside of Bella how I loved our children. My heart was not capable of choosing a favorite. I loved both of my boys equally. I might love different aspects of them, for instance Ethan had Bella's nose. I kissed the tip of the tiny button shaped feature as I carried him to his mother._

_"Here you are precious." I kissed the matching nose on the face of my love and smiled as I looked in to her eyes. Eyes that Ethan did not have. He was born with his mother's hair, nose and frame but my vibrant green eyes peeked up as I pulled away from their embrace._

_The owner of Bella's eyes lay in his bed still crying for attention. Anthony's hair peeked above the side of his crib and it was flames- slightly curly like his mothers but unruly as hell like my own. His cries stopped the moment his chocolate brown eyes settled on me. I chuckled as he reached his tiny hands out for me. _

_"Do you think they understand who we are?" I asked in amazement lifting my first born into my arms._

_I could hear the noisy slurp of Ethan enjoying his breakfast from his mother and Bella laughed. "They certainly know who I am." She rubbed a finger against Ethan's cheek. _

_I was instantly envious of my son in that moment. I wished to wrap my lips around that nipple again. I hadn't been given adequate time to given her chest proper attention. "Edward…" Bella pulled me from the fantasy and laughed when she saw the longing in my pout. "Bring me our other son before you deny them both their nutrition."_

_I helped lower the strap over her left arm and nestled Anthony to his respective bosom for his meal. Once they were both situated and Bella eased back into the rocking chair, I simply sat on the floor at her feet. _

_I was mesmerized by the image of pure love and grace that she embodied sitting there before me. "You're truly a magnificent creature Isabella Masen." _

_She smiled at my words but kept her attention on our feeding sons. _

_I helped burp and change them. Then we all sat on the floor and played peek-a-boo. All too soon the day grew older and Bella begged me to play some music to help the boys fall asleep for their nap._

_She didn't have to beg long. I loved playing for my family. We carried the boys downstairs to bassinets in the library. If Bella had her way there would be a bassinet in every room for the boys. She never liked being more than a few steps away from her children._

_I sat down at the piano across the room from the chair where she sat cooing to our sons. _

_"What would you like to hear this morning my loves?" _

_She asked the boys what their favorite song was. I already knew the answer. It was the piece I composed for their mother. The one that had whispered across my mind from the first moment I saw her six years ago._

_"Lullaby," She confirmed softly. _

_My fingers flowed over the keys effortlessly- this tune was like the pulse of Bella's heart. I knew it as if it were my own. _

_As the melody turned sweet enough to remind me of Bella's blush in the rays of sunlight that woke us from our slumber hours earlier, I felt her slight hands on my shoulders._

_She kissed the back of my neck. "I love you, Edward." _

_I closed my eyes. "I love you, Bella."_

I opened my eyes.

The ocean breeze blew strands of her chestnut hair against my face. I relished the feel. Her scent floated around me- a headier flavor with the mixture of hormones from her pregnancy. She still made my mouth water.

I would forever hunger for this woman in all the best and worst ways.

She rested her ear over my silent heart. I ran my hand along her back and caressed the spot where I could feel her heart beating through the layers of bone, tissue and muscles that lay behind the pumping organ.

"That was a good dream," she whispered.

I nodded. "It was another life… it felt more like…_memories_ than a dream." Bella nodded in agreement against my chest. We were both still groggy from the enforced slumber.

After a moment she rose up to look me in the eyes. "Boys?" She cocked a brow and I chuckled.

"You didn't want to know." I teased.

"I didn't know you could tell."

I shrugged. "You never asked." She swatted my shoulder playfully.

"Anthony?" She said quietly.

I nodded with solemn eyes. "For my brother."

Again she agreed by nodding with me. "And Ethan?"

I shrugged, honestly at a loss. "I assumed you thought that one up." She shook her head.

"No... But I like it." I liked it too. I loved the image of our two strong and healthy babies cradled in our arms and feeding from her breasts.

"Edward?" I watched the waves crashing against each other as the sun rose higher in the sky.

"Yes my love."

"I think its time we talk to Erebos." There was a note of worry in her voice that immediately set me into a panic. I hooked a finger under her chin and questioned her with my eyes.

"They're coming… soon," she whispered. Her hands wrapped protectively around her stomach.

"It's time."

**\/Darkside\/**

**CPOV (Same time)**

I got up to check the lock on the heavy iron door. Secure.

My chest felt a little lighter at the reassurance. I loved my family, but this space was only for my mate and me. Once I decided to pull Esme in to the cave, it was understood that I needed to be separated from the family for a while.

I turned at the sound of her gentle voice. She was humming a lullaby. One she used to sing to her son before he died. She had been humming it in the emergency room the day he passed.

I rested my naked back against the door, folding my arms over my chest and simply, unabashedly watched her.

How easily time passed and yet staid ever present in the mind. Humans lived in the moment- knowing that any of the precious seconds that made up their life could be their last. Immortals lived in every second, and yet had no concept of time at all. I could recall with crystal clarity the exact shade of red that her stil human eyes were as she mourned her son in that room all those years ago.

I could still smell her soft human scent as I had when I made the decision to keep her.

Mine.

My angel with her wings clipped so that she might stay here on earth with me.

There would never be another creature half as radiant as she. Her soul so pure even now as she lived the life of a vampire burst from her body with a blinding incandescence. She did more than take my breath away- she blocked out all other desires or needs.

I would never be hungry if Esme was always in my sight. I would never feel weary as long as her scent was near me, as it could calm a raging thunderstorm. I would never need to study, as she was clever enough to engage my mind in all subjects.

She bent down to retrieve the remnants of our clothes that had been ripped to shreds seconds after we entered the cave days ago. Her body spread for me and beckoned that I return to the bedroom- to where I belonged.

To Esme.

My body didn't need to stir from the vision nor from the thought of impaling her once more. I was always ready for her.

Edward once asked me, not long after he came back to me, what it was like to find your mate. He said that I had changed. Though I had never felt any different in my soul. He told me about even the difference in my thoughts- that my entire being had adapted to serve her. My every breath was tempered with hers. If Esme was sad, I naturally became so as well.

When Esme loved something, I found that I could not help but love it too.

He had other questions I knew- he just was too polite to ask. I watched my mates delicious flesh shimmy as she walked the scraps over to the fireplace. I knew that he no longer would have those questions- since he now had his own mate and his own desires to riddle through.

The questions of what it is like- sex for an immortal.

There were those who considered it never ending. And it could be. We were not burdened by the needs of humans, or any other creatures for that matter. We never had to stop.

But that just meant it had the potential to become something… boring. There was no purpose for sex between vampires. We were unable to procreate. It was merely physical stimulation. And though it was a stimulant a thousand times more aggressive than any a human could endure, it was not something our bodies craved the way an animal that sought progeny did.

Blood was far more… intoxicating.

Unless you had a mate.

"Come to me," I beckoned. She glanced over her shoulder—her eyes smoldering. I smiled. Oh how I loved this woman.

She lowered herself to all fours and crawled. I would never deny that there was a side to my mind that found moments like this repulsive. He was about morals, and treating all life with respect. He was about honor and love over gratification. He was gagged and tied up in the dark recesses of my mind right now.

She stopped before me, on her knees. I ran my fingers through her hair. Fire was spinning between us. A pulse thick in the air.

"May I?" She whispered. She begged with her golden orbs.

None other would complete me like she did.

She complimented both sides of my nature. She was the purest and most innocent heart for the healer—Tenno, as I had been nicknamed in my healer years of immortality. And she was a truly wicked vixen for the beast.

I nodded- fisting my hands in her hair as she pressed her gentle lips around me. Pure, raw pleasure enveloped me. It was acute—almost painful. Her mouth was a dream… I felt as though I was lost in a fantasy.

Before I could reach my climax I pulled her from the ground with sure hands on her shoulders. My vampire strength made every move fluid and seamless. In a blink of a human's eye I slammed her body against the iron door and her legs secured around my hips in a ferocity that matched my own carnal actions.

I bit the flesh of her neck where her collarbones met. She cried out as the pain of teeth mixed with the pleasure of my hardness entering her. Everything was feeling.

Wet.

Hard.

Hot.

Burning. I was on fire for her, with her. She started snarling—drawing my earlobe between her teeth and biting hard.

I hissed and drove faster, deeper into her.

We reached our peak as one and my fists slammed against the door as she threw her head back against it as well.

She was floating in her ecstasy when I eased her down and carried her back into the room. My name fell from her lips as a reverent whispered praise. I sat on the bed with her cradled in my arms.

She slowly drifted back to earth- her eyelids fluttered when she started to regain awareness of her surroundings.

"Carlisle," she moaned. I smiled. Esme was possibly more addicted to me than I was of her. And that was saying a lot since she was the very venom in my veins.

"Yes, my heart?" I kissed her forehead and ran my fingers through her caramel tresses.

She kissed my shoulder. The growl built in my chest again. Insatiable was the only way to describe how a vampire felt when they were near their mate. I would forever be unable to satisfy my need for everything she could give me. I wanted to crawl inside her body and never leave.

Mine.

My hands claimed her flesh once more and she gasped as I continued to remind her with just my touch that she belonged to me and me alone.

"I think we should consider going back," she was finally able to say.

She moaned as my hands started to caresses the slope of her back. Her eyes rolled back in her head and then closed. I imagined a pulse in her neck-throbbing with her need for me.

"Do you really?" The smile was evident in just the tenor of my voice. The monster was slowly fading back into the darkness. I had spent days diving in to the pool of my wife, the creature was well fed. I could become the playful doctor once more.

Esme opened her lips to speak but only a gasp of surprise passed them when my fingers started exploring the delicate area hidden between her thighs once more.

She purred and pressed her mouth against the crook of my neck. "You're pure evil, Cullen." She laughed.

I chuckled darkly. "It is more than possible. I've corrupted you, and that has got to be some kind of sin." She swatted my hands as they squeezed her firm, soft backside.

"We have to get back there, Carlisle, our children need us." I relaxed back on the bed with Esme across me. Her eyes were shining into mine. A soft peace settled over me. I had only ever considered all of the people out there our children- even Alice and Jasper, whom I had nothing to do with transforming. Because Esme believed us a family, we were.

I brushed the hair from her shoulder and ran a finger along the slope of her neck down to her heart. I spread my palm wide over the now silent cavity.

"You know what drew me to you all those years ago?" I asked. She knew. I had told her all of over life together. But she liked hearing me tell her.

"Your heart." I ran my thumb over the spot where it would be beating had I not stopped it with my venom.

"And what keeps you with me now?" It was a simple question. From the lips of anyone else it would have seemed a joke. But the sadness in her eyes and the weight that filled her voice made me frown.

"I will never leave you Esme," I vowed. It was an odd flavor that filled my mouth at the omission. I had never had to defend my devotion to her before. She simply knew, as I did, that we were meant to be together forever.

She spread her hand over my silent chest. "You won't want to. But..." She closed her eyes. "You will."

Agony. Her voice was pure torture. I cupped my hands on either side of her face—sitting us up to assess what was going on in her perfect head.

"My heart, what are saying... What... Talk to me Esme." I begged. My thumbs moved across her cheeks in reassurance. There was nothing that could pull me from her.

"Look at me, my love. See the promise in my eyes."

"Things have changed," she breathed.

"Nothing has changed, my heart. Nothing. I am still me... Tenno. Your mate…"

"Carlisle…" She opened her eyes and the pain that was in their depths broke me. I had spent the last two months of an eternal life watching this woman endure torture that no man I knew could survive. I saw her body destroyed over and over. I saw her fear increase as she knew one day even she would have to give into the evil nature of our beings. But in those two months, and the countless times Esme should have been distressed, I never saw anything but hope, patience and love in her eyes.

And I never saw what I saw now- anguish.

"Esme," I whispered. My hands were shaking. I could feel the monster rising again in my mind. This time not in lust for her body but in protectiveness of his possession. She was his- he would destroy anything that harmed her.

She drew in a ragged breath.

"Carlisle... go back to the house. Help Edward and Bella." She nodded. Her face trying to convey something completely opposite of what her eyes were screaming at me.

"Esme... what... I don't understand."

Desperation seized her face. "Please! Go help them. I... I don't know how much longer I can keep this up." The last was almost too low for even my vampire ears to hear.

"Keep what up?" My voice was feral. The monster stood front and center again.

Her golden eyes reminded me of the sadness that they held in the hospital the last day of her human life.

"I... I can't forgive them... I... it hurt." The pain was now washed in a new emotion- shame. Esme was not used to holding grudges. She was kind and forgiving.

"Who?" was all the monster would say. He wanted none of the guilt. He would punish the ones who made her feel guilty to begin with.

Her breath was ragged and she backed off the bed. "Go help them, Carlisle. They will need you... I don't want to spend the rest of eternity with regrets. It is something... I will work through this I just need to be alone."

"Rose is gone, Esme." She nodded, swallowing over a lump of fear that she could see my mind was not giving up on this and now I knew I was on the right path.

I studied her. She was trying to encourage that I help them before I didn't want to help them anymore... I narrowed my eyes, "Bella," I concluded flatly. Her eyes grew wide and she quickly turned to from me.

"Bella didn't torture me. She just... those evil creatures thought that up it was n-n-not her... Bella... she didn't..." My wife was not skilled at lying, even to herself.

"She may as well been the one to pull off your arms, Esme." The venom in my voice was a poison stronger than the fluid that dripped from my tongue.

A quiet sob tore from my love's throat. "But Edward, and Alice..." Esme grabbed her stomach as if admitting that this betrayal hurt her was making her physically ill.

"They don't control our minds... they... helped plan it…decided it was okay."

I froze. She was trying to tell me she held everyone who planned the Chicago trap as responsible for her pain. _Everyone_.

My hands closed into fists. I was no longer interested in punishing my children- I was far guiltier than any of them. I watched the cowering frame of my precious wife and understood why she wanted us to leave this place immediately.

"Are you afraid of me?" I whispered.

Esme shook slightly- she did not turn to look at me, but she shook her head no.

I nodded. "Do you hate me?"

She froze. I had known Esme for nearly a hundred years. Every second of my life with her was devoted to her. And she to me. Esme was the salve that pulled the sting from the venom in my veins. She made every evil thought I might have entertained over the years melt into goodness.

What had I done to her?

"I love you, Carlisle," she breathed.

"I know." And I did. She would never stop loving me, but that didn't mean she could forgive easily the pain that I had help ensure she would endure.

"I can't... I can't hate you. I just need... I need you to help them."

I dressed silently. I was no longer intoxicated by this sacred place. I had tainted everything around me.

"I'm sorry, my love," I said putting my arms around her waist from behind. I buried my face in the cook of her neck- inhaled deeply of her essence. I found no calm in the scent now.

I was breaking apart inside. It was a fear that had danced along the surface of my skin since I awoke in that field. Something that Esme had tried to help me contain as she saw the threat in the shadows of my eyes.

"You're right," I said stepping back. She couldn't hold in the snarl of fear that exploded from her chest at my sudden absence. I was breaking her heart... but I had to leave before I did something rash- before I hurt anyone else.

Things have changed.

I saw her from my peripheral sight as I fled our sanctuary. She fell to her knees, weeping for the loss of our innocence. I would give anything in the world to undo what happened to Esme.

I made my way to my private dock and boarded the boat. I could make the mainland by noon if I left now. The sunlight was amber on the surface of the currents- sunrise. A promise of a new day.

I pushed aside the tender hearted doctor who wanted nothing more than to turn back to the island and help his family through this trying time.

I had asked for nothing from the moment my father changed me. I sought the compassionate road- I healed the wounds of the world. I raised a family of vampires who abstained from drinking human blood.

I had earned the right to ask for something in return.

I knew Erebos would not help me. He had what he was looking for- had the future he never believed he could achieve. I knew he would never risk that now.

I hoped that changing one moment would not affect this future. Part of my heart ached for my son and daughter- their miraculous children who would be born soon. I didn't want to risk that Edward's world be crushed as effectively as mine, but if I could just change one thing.

If I could make certain Esme knew before hand, that she were kept from the battle altogether.

But who... who could I trust...

_You can always trust me my son_. The voice in my head was not that of my father's. I had thought it silenced. I had endured hell a thousand times greater than my wife to escape the true Volterra- and the voice now ringing in my ears was proof that I never escaped that prison.

_Come back to me my son. I will help you- give you what you want_.

I closed my eyes.

I could not stop the turning of the wheel. I made my choice and accepted my fate. I would go back to him and he would help me.

Damn my soul for hurting her.

Damn my body for not being strong enough.

And damn Aro for being the only one I could turn to for help.


	31. Chapter 31: Death part 2 Teaser

**Title: The Darkside of Twilight**

**Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)**

**A/N: So….here is where I leave you. Just a taste of the final chapter that is still held hostage in my brain. I hope you enjoyed the ride and that one of these days we meet again over these characters.**

**Thank you for reading! **

**Xoxo Qute**

**\/Darkside\/**

**Ren POV **

The whispers were all around me again. The darkened corridors loomed above, below and all around. My chest was restricting.

This was not the homecoming I had hoped to dream of.

I could see it- My parents standing in the middle of the great hall. In their arms were identical bundles of life. I screamed as they stood facing the line. My feet wouldn't move.

There was no voice to my cries.

"Watch Renesmee. This is how I expect you to do it."

Aro's dark laughter was everywhere. It was the very darkness around me.

_No. Not my mom... not my family_. They were words I shouted in my mind, but I couldn't give voice to them.

NO!

From his left side Aro looked down at the bitch that had made my life a living hell. Her blond hair was perfectly coifed on top of her head in a tight bun. His frozen porcelain doll of innocence- on the outside.

Inside she was the devil incarnate. Jane's scarlet eyes danced as she turned them on me. She knew better than to expect them to work on me. The one damn thing the world granted me when my world ended, I had my mother's gift.

I shielded my mind from her gift. She smiled delicately at me. I glared back at her. She raised one tiny eyebrow in question. I looked to my unsuspecting family in horror.

I was too slow. Not focused enough. I stood in shock as they all hit the ground writhing in pain. Suddenly Jacob was with them, screaming for me to help him.

I felt it then- the pain. It was the closest I had come to feeling the agony of losing my family when I was a child. I could only guess that it was what Jane's talents forced a mind to believe she was doing to her prey.

Jacob screamed louder and the pain swelled inside of me.

I understood the lesson. With Master Aro that was the objective of every encounter- the lesson.

This one was easily understood. Jacob. I might be able to shield myself and in time many others but if Jacob were ever attacked before I could wrap my protection around him, it wouldn't matter.

I sat up with a giant gasp.

"Baby?" Warm hands were around my arms and dark beautiful eyes were enveloping my vision.

"You okay?" His voice was tight with fear. I nodded. My breathing was labored and I really just wanted to forget it. I learned what I needed to from the dream- I didn't need to relive it.

"You aren't going to tell me what that was about I suppose." He cocked his brow and pursed his lips.

"I think they invented the word thickheaded to describe _you_ Jacob Black." He chuckled and pulled me in to his warmer than heaven embrace. I sighed against his heat.

"True. And handsome... and sexy." I giggled. Jake could put a smile on my face faster than anyone ever could—next to my mom. She was the embodiment of my happiness.

"Tell me about it honey." His hands rubbed soothing circles across my back and his voice was misty like the cold air that warned the approach of a storm.

"It was just a bad dream Jake."

"Bull."

I sighed. I leaned back and looked him in the eyes. "I don't think it would surprise you to know that the guys who... _kidnapped_ me were not nice."

He snorted and rolled his eyes. I tried to laugh with him. But all I could see was his body writhing on the floor in pain.

"What was that?" He asked, stunned.

"What?"

He swallowed hard. "That image you just thought- me... in pain."

I sighed again. "Damn." He glared at me.

"What?" He snarled.

"Just something my brain was working out for me. That... that this," I waved my hand between us. "It makes us both vulnerable."

He nodded in agreement. Then he thought about something. "What did your brain have to figure out?"

"My ability. I'm a shield. The Volturi have a lot of mental weapons and none of them can harm me. And if I concentrate hard enough I can shield others too, but my body is... _naturally_ shielded... but yours... isnt..."

"So if they get to me before you shield me..." he finished. I nodded, biting my lip.

He chuckled. "You look just like her when you do that."

I looked at him with wide eyes. No one had ever compared me to my mother. Everyone always saw the beauty of my father in me. He tapped his finger against my trapped lip.

"Just like her."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Question?" I cocked my eyebrow to listen to whatever it was his brain was working out.

He chuckled. "Now you look like him." I smiled wider. I liked to be told I looked like Dad too. I loved both of them very much- second only to the love I felt for Jacob.

"What is your question Jacob Black?" He rolled his eyes and sat back with his hands on the ground behind him.

"Why can't Edward hear Bella's thoughts? If you are the shield and she no longer has that ability..." I cocked my brow higher. He blushed and looked at the trees. "I snooped." He grinned I found it impossible to be angry with him for doing so.

"They are as much your thoughts now as mine Jake. And you _are_ smarter than you look."

I punched his arm lovingly and jumped up. I forgot that I was wearing nothing but his t-shirt and his eyes were level with his number one favorite distraction. He growled and launched himself at me.

I giggled and leapt away from him easily. We danced like that- back and forth. I led him back to the meadow in the forest where my parents first pledged their love to each other.

I stood in the exact center- the moon casting a silver glow on to my body and I removed his shirt. There was a slow rumble that rolled in his chest.

He was so gentle and loving with me- but he was primal and feral to see as he made love to me.

I liked that about him.

He kneeled before me and launched himself in the air. I laughed again and trapped him under when he landed. We kissed, passionate and hard.

"I'm hungry," I whispered. He growled and leaned his head back to let me feed.

It was insane… I never knew of any vampire who lived off wolf blood. But I was no mere vampire and Jake was also human.

I bit his chest over his heart and drank deep of his blood. He hissed as his skin tore but moaned as I fed. I didn't take much. I never took much… not from my mate.

I licked his wound and watched in fascination as his venom infected skin sealed it closed before my eyes.

I rose up from his chest- his blood still dripping from my lips. I hummed as I licked it with my hot tongue.

He groaned. "God you are perfect baby." I smiled.

"Back at you."

His hands wandered up my sides and rested on my chest. "Why can't Edward hear Bella's thoughts?" He asked quietly.

I laughed. "You already know."

He nodded. "True. But she once told me... well I accidentally stumbled across the memories..." he gave me a sheepish grin and I winked at him. "When they do it he can hear her."

I smiled. "I have no need to have any part of their sex life Jacob. I watch her and shield her every other time but when they... do it," I said raising my brows to match his. "She is on her own."

He rolled us over and we laughed together.


End file.
